


For the Love of the Game

by TickleMyPickle



Series: For the Love of the Game [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Eventual Smut, Family, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, Friendship, Hockey, Internalized Homophobia, LGBT, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, New York Islanders, Overstimulation, Slow Burn, Sports, Unresolved Tension, You Can Play Project, eventual flirting, mentions of depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2018-11-29 02:45:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 104,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11431545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TickleMyPickle/pseuds/TickleMyPickle
Summary: Alec Lightwood played left winger for the New York Islanders for the past 5 years.Magnus Bane is the team’s new right winger and is the first LGBT player to come out in the National Hockey League (NHL).Alec would be happy about his new teammate, like the rest of the Islanders, but he's known Magnus for 12 years. And the last time they saw each other seven years ago, they didn’t part on good terms... at all.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I'm finally back with another fic! But this time it's a chaptered one! I'm so excited to finally share this with everyone-- it's been in works for quite some time now! So THANK YOU!
> 
> I want to thank Ash ( @Quite_Magical ) and Kenny ( @MalecLightbanee ) for all their help! <3 
> 
> My plan at the moment is to update every Friday unless something comes up, then I may update a day after or whenever I can.
> 
> Also, I don't have a beta for this, so any mistake is my own.
> 
> I will stop rambling now and let you (hopefully) Enjoy! If you want to tweet about it or something like that, I'll track #FtLotG !

Alec had been preparing himself for weeks. He knew Magnus Bane was traded onto his team. Magnus Fucking Bane: the best right winger the league had to offer. And his old friend that he walked away from seven years ago.

It was the first practice of the season. It was nearing the end of summer and training was going to be intense to get them in shape for the upcoming season. It would hopefully bring them to the Stanley Cup, but no hockey player ever talked about that. They were too passionate about their superstitions to talk about it.

Jace, Alec’s best friend on the ice an off, was the New York Islanders team captain. He was the best forward their team had and brought them the most goals last season. He was also the one who told Alec about the trade the second he knew.

The one thing Jace didn’t know about Alec, was his history with Magnus Bane. He hoped no one knew his history with Magnus—except Magnus himself, of course. But even then, he hoped Magnus was able to forget him. Just the thought of the right wingers name hurt.

The second Coach Luke Garroway stepped out of his office and onto the home bench, Alec’s heart stopped. It was _the_ moment. The moment that he would see Magnus again after seven years. Seven years of regret. Seven years of pain. Seven years of—

“Alright, you maggots, you happy to be back?” A chorus of, “Yes, Coach,” rung out in the practice arena.

 Everyone had smiles on their faces. Despite his hard exterior, Coach was a softie on the inside.

“Everyone, meet your new teammate, Magnus Bane: number 44.” Magnus stepped out onto the ice with the rest of the team. He got in the locker room after everyone else because coach wanted to talk to him while everyone was dressing out. Magnus scanned his new teammates but didn’t once land his eyes on Alec. Alec was sure Magnus remembered him. He had to after how Alec treated him.

The team knew about this guy. Most of the team got together to go over Bane’s stats for the past two seasons the second they heard about the trade. Coach never said it, but they all assumed he would be on the first line with Lightwood and Herondale as their new right winger. Coach would be crazy _not_ to.

Of course, everyone already knew that Magnus Bane was out and proud about his bisexuality—the first LGBTQ man in the NHL. He revealed to the world he was bi at the end of last season when his old team, the Anaheim Ducks, lost in the playoffs in round three. Alec thought his coming out was one of the main reasons their club went for the trade. Diversity and all that shit. Attention would be drawn to the Islanders now. Unwanted attention. At least in Alec’s books, anyway…

You see, Alec was gay and the only ones who knew were his siblings, Isabelle and Max, and Jace. He didn’t want anyone else to know. Magnus being here tempted that.

Alec tore his eyes from his old friend and looked around at his teammates. Most faces held soft smiles. Smiles that showed their enthusiasm to make it to the playoffs this season. The hunger in their eyes was not missed either.

The Islanders only missed the playoff’s last season by one point. If they played only _one_ game better, they would’ve made it. Every team member felt that pain. However, they made a deal to wallow in their pity alone before this fall. When they got on the ice for the new season, all their past worries would be left at the door.

“Look, you all know this already,” Coach bellowed, “but if it gets back to me that one of you said shit about Bane, you’ll answer to me.”

Everyone nodded. “Think you’ll fit in okay?” Alec knew it was Lewis’ voice the second it hit his ears. He always was the outgoing one of the team. Always volunteered to do press conferences.

Alec watched as Magnus chuckled. “I hope so. I never particularly liked ducks so you’re off to a good start.”

Alec felt Jace jump next to him. “Thank you!” Jace skated over to him and slung his arm around Magnus’ shoulders. “Finally, someone else who appreciates how horrible they are with their nasty, webby feet. Don’t know how you wore that sweater, man.” Magnus grinned up at him.

“I’ve been saying that to myself for _years_.”

Alec sighed. Magnus really hasn’t changed much. He grew some facial hair that he certainly didn’t have when they were 16, and he definitely gotten taller, but other than that, he was still _Magnus_. Alec almost yearned to hug him again.

Coach shook him out of his trance with a clap of his hands. “Let’s play some hockey.”

They started with the first drill: passing the puck between each other. Jace immediately went over to Alec who sighed with relief that Jace wasn’t going to partner with Magnus. Jace and Alec were more like _Jace &Alec_. He would’ve hated having to look languidly between his teammates for a partner. He saw Magnus out the corner of his eye looking around before Lewis went over to him and held out his hand. Jace gently pushed him to bring him back.

“Buddy, you look like it’s your first day out on the ice,” Jace chuckled. “Need me to teach you how to play?” He was balancing the puck on his stick and tossed it up before catching it in the same place. Alec rolled his eyes.

“Teach me how to play? You do know I’ve been playing longer than you right?” He showed his playful smile and struck his stick down onto Jace’s to steal the puck and started moving the puck back and forth.

Jace lunged after him with his stick and stole it. “Just by two years.”

“Two years of more experience. You could be worse,” he joked as Jace passed him the black puck.

Jace shrugged, his blue and orange practice jersey moving with him. “What do you think of Bane?”

Alec was startled. He was able to forget him for a moment. “We’ll see.” They continued practicing.

Practice ended at 7pm. After not being on the ice during last season’s Stanley Finals, all the players were dripping with sweat from overexertion. Alec would try to come to the practice arena when he could, but his family took up a lot of his time.

The players walked into to the locker room waddling due to their heavy pads. Alec, without trying to bring attention to himself, tried to look for Magnus in hopes that his locker wasn’t near his. Magnus got in first and Alec saw him on the other side of the room where Josten’s locker used to be. He was traded for Bane.

Alec sighed in relief as he started pealing his jersey and pads off. He wondered if Magnus thought of him at all. Or if he wondered how Alec was.

Alec shook his head. Why would he? It’s been 7 years. Things ended badly between them. He probably hated Alec.

Out of his peripherals, Alec watched as Magnus followed a few of the guys to the showers and entered his own stall. Coach was gracious enough to request doors on their stalls for privacy and it was thankfully granted to them. After a minute passed, Alec followed and went into his own shower stall.

Alec was quick. After a fast scrub down, he dressed himself and got out.

Someone shouted out, “Team dinner at Taki’s?”

Jace clapped his hand on Santiago’s shoulder. “Alec,” he shouted, “you in?”

Alec shouted back a quick, “Yeah,” and shoved his gear into his locker and some clothes into his bag.

Jace, now next to Alec, called out, “How ‘bout you, Bane? I promise we only bite a little.”

Alec heard Magnus’ sweet voice call back. “Don’t tempt me.” A chorus of, “Oooo,” rang out which chuckles following closely behind. “But I don’t know. I’m tired and trying to get my new apartment together.”

Simon was quick to butt in. “Nonsense! You’re our new teammate. If anyone needs to be there, it’s you.”

Magnus chuckled and Alec could practically hear him rolling his eyes with a smile. “Fine. But I’m not buying _anything_. I am the new guy. Besides, I never could pass up a party.”

Alec’s breath hitched. It was the first time he really heard Magnus talk since… since he left.

Alec felt the guilt wean its way back into his lungs and stomach. He tried for years after not talking to Magnus to forget the whole thing. To forget what pain he caused Magnus. But Magnus did nothing wrong and Alec knows that. He’s mad at himself—hates himself—for everything. He’s a coward and he knows it.

He knows he needs to tell Magnus that. But how can he if he can’t even breath at the mention of his name let alone trying to talk to him?

Alec tossed his bag over his shoulder and walked out to his car with Jace following quickly behind him.

[][][][][]

When they made it to Taki’s, half the team was already there with a beer in hand. Meliorn had ordered pizza’s and a pitcher of beer for each of their table’s.

It wasn’t unusual for the team to meet up at Taki’s after a practice or a winning game. They often wanted to celebrate together after.

Meliorn and Minyard were sitting together in the both drinking their beers. Jace tapped Alec with the back of his hand and headed towards the table. “Hey,” he said nodding once. “Mind if we complete your table?”

They grinned. “Not at all, Captain.”

Jace slid in first towards the wall, Alec followed after and poured himself a cup full of beer.

“I was just asking Mels here, which is better: Pens or Caps?”

Jace rolled his eyes. “Gentlemen, you know I despise both teams equally. I don’t think I can accurately answer your question.” He gulped down his beer.

“Yeah, but the Pens won the Cup last season. They’re clearly better…”

The pizza came out shortly after and they downed their slices. The conversation moved on from hockey, to girls. A conversation that was hard for Alec to swallow.

“I asked Kaelie her thoughts on a threesome—she said she was down! I couldn’t believe it, honestly.”

“Yeah, yeah, Mels. At least you have one woman. Some of us are still struggling in that department.”

Meliorn’s eyes widened. “The great Jace Herondale struggling with women?”

Jace shrugged. “It’s very rare, but it’s been known to happen.” Alec rolled his eyes.

“Don’t think so highly of yourself, buddy,” Alec butted in, placing his half eaten pizza slice back on his plate. “I heard it’s bad luck.”

“Oh yeah? Then what about yourself, Lightwood? Any women crawling up your bark lately?”

“Oh, you know…” He waved his hand around aimlessly.

Minyard chucked from across the table. “Still going through your dry women spell?”

Humor glossed over his and Meliorn’s eyes. “Aww, poor Little Lightwood,” he teased. “Probably never seen the light of day. You haven’t been in a relationship in years.”

“Guys, leave him alone. You know he’s single and not ready to mingle,” Jace interjected. He wiped his hands on the napkin and tossed it at Meliorn’s face who quickly batted it down. Alec rolled his eyes.

“Bull. Men are always ready to mingle. That girl at the bar is totally checking you out.” Meliorn glanced behind them towards the bar.

Alec didn’t want to look turn around because he was totally not interested. But Jace did. “Pheww. She’s pretty hot.”

“You self-centered bastard,” Meliorn said jokingly. “I didn’t mean you. I meant Lightwood. She keeps looking over here at you, dude.”

Alec shrugs. “Maybe she knows the team.” He swirled his cup around and watched his beer slosh around on the sides.

“I dare you to get her number.”

“I’m not doing that, Minyard.” Alec glared at his friend.

Meliorn turned around to the other booth and tapped their teammate on the shoulder. “Lightwood’s going to ask out the girl at the bar.”

Alec’s eyes widened. “I am not!” Everyone’s eyes were on him now. Including Magnus’. However, his weren’t playful like everyone else’s. His were cold as he kept his eyes on Alec. Alec quickly looked away.

“Just do it and shut them up. You don’t have to call her,” Jace whispered in his ear. He smelt like pizza sauce and beer; a combination that Alec would normally like, but it was making him feel sick now. He knew it wasn’t the pizza or beer that was making him queasy, but his friends and the girl at the bar.

Alec sighed and took a deep breath. “I hate you all.” With that, he stood up and headed towards the bar with the pretty girl.

He walked up to her and leaned on the counter and smiled. “Hi, I’m Alec. And yourself?” He stuck out his hand for her to shake.

Her dark frizzy hair bounced as she cocked her head sideways. “Maia, nice to meet you.” She returned his handshake.

“Cool.” He nodded trying to de-fuzz his brain. However, the uneasiness in his gut wouldn’t leave.

“Yes,” she replied awkwardly and cleared her throat.

Damnit. Alec really doesn’t know how to deal with girls sometimes.

Alec huffed and lowered his voice. “Sorry, this might be a weird question,” he glanced back at his friends who were silent and watched on, “but do you think you could fake laugh at what I say and maybe write down a fake number on your napkin?”

Her eyes lit up and she chucked. She leaned on her hand that was balancing on the bar top. “And why would I do that? Your friends seem very interested. Maybe I should just splash my drink in your face and turn you away empty handed,” she shrugged.

“Because I’m a gay man trying to hit on a woman?” He looked up at her hopefully. “They don’t know.”

She broke out into a grin. “Oh, I like secrets. I especially like being let in on them.” She really was pretty. If only Alec swung her way, everything would be much easier. “So yes, Alec, I’ll help you.”

“Thank you,” he whispered.

She let out a laugh. One loud enough so his teammates could hear. Honestly, Alec was a little taken back by how enthusiastic she was, but he guessed it was what sold their lie because when he went back to their table holding a seven-digit number, no one was laughing like he had first expected them to. Minyard’s mouth was hung open.

“And that, ladies, is how you get a number,” he grinned. Just behind Minyard’s head, he could see Magnus looking at him. Alec tried to read his expression, but the newcomer turned his head away and back towards Simon.

“Son of a bitch. I can’t believe you did that!” Meliorn took a sip of his beer and continued talking. “Seriously dude, tell me your tricks. I mean, she laughed. _Laughed_. Bro, I don’t know if you noticed, but you’re not really the funny type. But she _laughed_. I need whatever you got.”

Alec looked at him. “But you have a girlfriend.” Meliorn shrugged. “Well, that’s a no. My tricks are my secrets.” He heard Meliorn protest, but Alec ignored him.

Jace tapped his shoulder. “Can I have her number?”

Alec debated on telling him it was fake, but instead, he shrugged and passed over the ripped napkin.

[][][][][]

Magnus wrapped his knuckles against Coach Garroway’s door. “Come in.” He took a deep breath and stepped into the large office. “Magnus, we didn’t have an appointment, did we?” Luke looked at the big calendar hanging next to his desk.

“No, Coach.” Magnus stood with his hands behind his back, bag dangling off his shoulder, and glanced around his office. The blue and orange starring back at him was almost overwhelming, be he knew he’d be used to it in no time. “I want to talk to you about something if that’s alright.”

Luke sat up in his chair looking irritated. “Did someone say something homophobic to you? The staff, the team? I swear I’ll kill them—”

“No, no, nothing like that,” Magnus cut in. He almost laughed. It was nice to have a coach that had his back like this. Luke nodded motioning for Magnus to sit. “Everyone’s been great about me being bi. So much so that no one has really said anything about it. Actually, this is a good lead in for what I wanted to talk about.” Magnus dropped his bad to the floor next to him when he sat.

“Then…”

“I want to formally request to be the club’s ambassador for the You Can Play Project. I don’t really know any of the guys in the high castle yet, if you know what I mean. I was also the Ducks ambassador so I would know what I’m doing.” Coach sat back in his chair. “I thought maybe you could help make that happen? But if you need encouraging, it _would_ make sense that it’s me since I _am_ the capital B in LGBT.”

The You Can Play Project was started in 2012 in hopes to eradicate homophobia in all sports. The project, having close ties with hockey players, has formed a close partnership with the NHL. Every team in the league has an ambassador to help spread the word that the National Hockey League, along with other sports, is open for LGBTQ players. If you can play, you can play.

Magnus wasn’t the type to get nervous, but he was terrified that he might not represent his community in the limelight. Coach smirked slightly. “In all of my years of playing and coaching— and it’s been a long time— I’ve never seen anyone other than the two of you to personally request for this position.”

“Two of us?” Magnus was sure he was one person.

“Alec Lightwood.” Oh, that name. It still brought mixed feelings to his heart and butterflies in his stomach. “Five years ago, he did the same thing you are right now. He came in, sat on that chair and demanded that he be the ambassador. He was a rookie then, only been practicing with us a couple weeks, but he was very sure about wanting to represent all players. The club owners allowed it, and ever since, he’s done a great job at his endorsements and showed his enthusiasm for LGBT players. You might have to fight him for it.”

Magnus’ heart sank. He was sure Alec didn’t want to talk to him in any way, shape or fashion. He wasn’t too keen on speaking to Alec either, though. Magnus nodded unhappily. “Well, if he likes it so much…” He stood up.

He was halfway to the door when Coach’s voice rang out. “I can see how much it means to you, Magnus. What if I told you there might be a way you can be the ambassador?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking around! Yes, pun intended.
> 
> Again, no beta so all mistakes are mine!
> 
> The You Can Play Project is truly incredible. You should really check it out. It's all about LGBTQ athletes being equally treated in their sport. Youcanplayproject.org
> 
> Also, I don't watch the Bachelorette/Bachelor and I don't know if it's even on in September, but roll with me! :D
> 
> I hope you like this chapter! <3 If you want to tweet about it, add the hashtag #FtLotG

A week of practice went by and Alec and Magnus still haven’t even glanced at each other. Alec knew it was his fault, but really, Magnus could’ve went up to him. It _has_ been seven years.

Alec shook his head. He was an idiot, he knew that. Of _course_ Magnus wouldn’t talk to him.

“You know, I’ve been seeing your constipated face a lot more often lately. Need me to pick you up a laxative?” Jace flopped on the couch next to him and held out a beer.

“Don’t be a dick.” Alec shoved him backwards and pulled his beer from his friends hand. “And don’t spill that. You spill, you pay for the cleaning.”

Jace languidly waved his hand around. “I’ve never done such a thing.”

“Uh huh! Last year, you were drinking that red shit Simon made you and spilt it all over my couch. If you couldn’t tell, it’s _white_. It stains easily. And cherry! You know how much I hate cherry. That scent was fuming up my apartment for a _week_ because you couldn’t bother to call anyone.”

Jace gasped. “You can hardly hold me responsible! I was drunk when that happened.”

Alec rolled his eyes. “Which is exactly why I tried to cut you off two drinks before that. It also spurred me on to make the no-more-parties-here rule for myself. Now, I’m going to let Santiago deal with you drunk bastards.”

Jace scoffed. “As if. Do you really think he’ll let anyone into his apartment? I mean, have you even _seen_ it?”

Okay no, Alec hasn’t. But that wasn’t going to stop him from keeping his rule. “Then at yours,” he shrugged.

“Fine by me. But only if I can hear more of Magnus’ stories. Oh shit, can you imagine how funny they would be if he were _drunk_?” Jace chuckled to himself.

Alec suddenly felt awkward and took a swig of his beer. Jace must’ve noticed because he spoke again. “Don’t tell me he’s never told you one of his stories?”

Oh, he has. Just many, many years ago. But of course, Jace didn’t know that so he shook his head.

“Not even the one about when he was in college and his whole team accidentally walked into the female locker room? He said it wasn’t funny then, but now he lau—”

“I get it, Jace. His stories are funny. Can we talk about something else?” He grabbed the TV remote off the coffee table and clicked it on.

Jace’s eyes bulged as he grinned. “Wait a minute. Alec, are you jealous? You can stand the thought of me laughing at someone else’s stories, can you!”

“Please,” Alec rolled his eyes. “I am not jealous of him. You can laugh all you want.” He clicked down on the channels, but wasn’t paying close attention to the shows that popped up.

“Well it’s either you’re jealous or you want to get a good look at him while he’s changing, if you know what I mean.”

Alec whipped his head towards his friend whose eyebrows were wiggling. “What? I don’t- I never- Stop putting stupid words in my mouth.”

“All I’m saying is that I have eyes, buddy.” Jace leaned back and tossed his feet onto the coffee table and crossed them. “I saw you when Coach first introduced him. You couldn’t take your eyes off him. Just please refrain from sucking his face in the locker room; there are others with you.”

“I am officially disowning you as my friend. I will not ever acknowledge the fact that I, Alec Lightwood, have ever been your, Jace Herondale, friend.” Jace chuckled and shimmered his hand over his body.

“Like you would ever _not_ want to be my friend. Come on, look at me.”

Alec raked his eyes up and down Jace’s body. “I have, and I’m not impressed. And that’s a shame for you because I’m gay.”

Jace gasped. “I am truly disappointed. I thought we could have something real,” Jace joked.

Alec smiled and rolled his eyes. There was no way he would ever willingly get rid of his guy.

Okay. Except for when Jace deserved it. “Yeah, yeah. You can stay for one more drink. I have to be up early to film my endorsement video.”

“You Can Play?” Jace took a swig of his beer and glanced at the TV. “Heard Bane was trying to take it from you.”

“He what? He wouldn’t.”

“Just what I heard, bro. To be fair,” he looked back to Alec, “he doesn’t know you’re gay; doesn’t know how important it is to you.”

Alec shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. He’s the new guy. They never get what they want, right?”

[][][][][]

The assistant walked Alec into an empty room with the backdrop “You Can Play” in rainbow colors and a camera set up. “They’ll be just a moment,” she said and Alec thanked her. The white table in front of the backdrop was clean and shiny. The two chairs that sat on either side of the table looked uncomfortable, but Alec sat in the one with his back to the bright “You Can Play”.

Despite him hiding the fact that he’s gay to everyone, he’s always loved the rainbow and what it signified. A few years back, he bought a small, rainbow, fabric tie-on bracelet at the store and since then, he keeps it in his gear bag as his good-luck charm. Whenever he feels panicky or too distant from his true self, he reaches his hand into his bag and clutches the bracelet until he calms down. Hockey is a very superstitious sport. Since he bought it, he felt better about how he plays his game.

He was brought out of his haze by the sound of the door opening. He flattened his suit and straightened his posture.

Magnus walked into the room. “So, you’re the You Can Play ambassador for the club.” He said it matter-of-factly. “That’s funny.”

Alec’s mouth went dry. His eyes bulged. He couldn’t breathe.

“Fix your eyes, darling, they might pop out.” Magnus paused by the door and leaned against the wall. His dark suit fit him just right.

“W-What are you doing here?” He tried to swallow, but his throat scratched due to dryness.

“I’m the new co-ambassador for the New York Islanders.”

“Co-am—? There’s only _one_ for each team. Does the club know you’re here?” Alec’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Funny enough, they signed off on it. Thought it would be right for the only out player to be ambassador.” He pushed off the wall. “However, Coach fought for you to stay on so they made us both ambassador. They were supposed to call you, but it was so last minute, I guess they forgot,” he shrugged.

Alec shook his head. He’ll have to talk later with Coach Garroway. “How is it funny that I’m ambassador? I care about the LGBTQ community.”

Alec watched as he languidly walked around the room delaying from actually having to be next to Alec. “It’s just funny how you say you care when you walked away from me years ago because you were scared of being gay. Although, I assume you’ve magically turned straight since you’re a big-shot hockey player now.” Alec sat stunned looking around the room to see if anyone was in the room to hear. There wasn’t, thankfully. His heart raced, fear exploded in his chest. “Don’t worry, no one heard.”

He definitely didn’t think this was how their first conversation would go.

“I didn’t magically turn straight,” he mumbled trying to catch his breath. “I’m still… I just don’t flaunt myself around like you always did.” He rubbed his thumb and forefinger together under the table—a nervous habit he’s done since he was younger.

Magnus hummed and looked at Alec. “You weren’t complaining 12 years ago when we first became friends at hockey camp. You didn’t complain years later when I officially came out to you as bisexual. And you most certainly didn’t complain when I first kissed you.”

Alec gasped as if it was a taboo to bring up their past. “I didn’t say it was a bad thing.” He still couldn’t look at Magnus’ face, so he looked lower at his stomach. “I’ve always liked that you were confident enough to come out to everyone.”

Magnus was finally in front of the table Alec was sitting at. Alec unintentionally looked up at his new teammates face. For the first time in years, he took in Magnus’ eyes again. He saw their past. He saw how horribly he treated Magnus. He saw how hurt Magnus was. He absorbed every emotion emanating from the brown orbs and mentally sunk deeper into his chair. Magnus laid his palms on the table. “You never said anything to me after the day you left. I never got a real explanation and I certainly never believed that bullshit story you tried to sell to me. You _owe_ me at least that. Just please, just tell me why—”

He was cut short with the noise of the door opening. “So sorry to keep you waiting, gentlemen.”

Pained, Magnus immediately closed his eyes and took a deep breath, but Alec couldn’t tear his eyes from Magnus. The intensity of the moment still lingered in the air before Magnus turned around and leaned back on the table. “No problem. We weren’t waiting long.” Alec could hear the smile in his voice, but how much of it was real?

Alec took a breath and put on his own smile and stood up straightening his suit. “Nice to see you again, Mr. Davis.” Wade Davis was the executive director of the organization. Alec shook the man’s hand after Magnus dragged an extra seat over.

"Sorry about that—we normally don’t have two speaking at one time. But we understand that this is not only a special case, but an exciting one!” Mr. David sat down in his own chair across at the table. “The time has finally come when the NHL has an LGBTQ player.”

“Yes, quite an exciting time.” Alec glanced over at Magnus’ cool features. No one could’ve guessed that moments ago Magnus was begging for answers. Answers that Alec didn’t know if he could say out loud.

“You both have been here before so you know the drill. You’re here to film the You Can Play endorsement that will play during the Islanders pre-game warmups and You Can Play night as well as answer some questions for NHL.com. Any questions?”

Both players said no and the filming team started. Magnus and Alec alternated reading off cue cards. “Islanders fans, You Can Play ensures the safety and inclusion of all players, fans and coaches regardless of sexual orientation and gender.”

“We think that the sport should focus on the player’s ability, skill and worth ethic, not sexual orientation or gender identity.”

“Because if you can play, you can play.”

“Find out how you can help contribute. Go to youcanplayproject.org to learn more.”

The camera shut off. The techies looked to Mr. David for a cue. “Looked good to me, gentlemen.”

They quickly moved into the question section. Since Magnus was out to the world as bisexual, Mr. Davis talked to him for the first few questions and what the You Can Play program meant to him.

Alec wasn’t paying much attention. He was focusing on the little sign behind Davis’ head until he was nudged by Magnus’ hard elbow in his side. He quickly snapped his head up.

It seemed as though Davis didn’t know the difference. “As a teammate of a player who is openly proud of their bisexuality, how does it make you feel and how does it affect your team on the ice?”

Affect the team?

“Magnus being out doesn’t affect our team.” When Davis made a questioning face, he continued. “He plays the game and nothing else matters when we’re on the ice. As for how it makes me feel,” he paused. “I am extremely proud that he is the first out player in the NHL. Not only does it send a positive message to any of our LGBTQ fans, but also to future players and current players that being who you truly are has no influence on how well you play. Magnus is an incredible player, and being bisexual doesn’t change that.”

He took a peek to his right where Magnus sat. He just sat there with a small smile looking down at the table.

“It also opens a safe gateway for anyone else in the sport that’s struggling.”

Oh, how Alec wished he could trust his own words.

Nodding, Mr. Davis asked a few more questions before he concluded his Q&A. He walked them to the main lobby, but left them once they got to the door.

Alec didn’t want to make it look like he was rushing to his car, but he was. He could feel Magnus’ eyes on his back but he wouldn’t dare turn around. He unlocked his car with the push of a button on his keys.

“You didn’t answer my question earlier.”

Alec slipped into his car and pulled his door shut. He knew pretending he didn’t hear Magnus wouldn’t work for too long, but he prayed it worked now.

He sped off onto the highway looking at Magnus standing where his car was in his rearview mirror.

[][][][][] 

“I cannot believe you just said that, Max!”

“What?” he shrugged. “I just really think Alex is too pretty for Rachel.”

“Actually,” Alec interrupted, “I agree, Max. He is too pretty for her.”

Max threw his hands up in excitement. “Thank you!”

“I don’t understand you two.” Izzy turned back towards the TV. The three of them always got together Monday night’s when Alec’s schedule allowed so they can watch The Bachelorette together. “Asking a gay man if the half-naked man on TV is too pretty for the girl it will surely end in a big, fat ‘YES’, and asking the teenager with raging hormones who wants the girl for himself… well the results won’t change too much.”

“Pft, I don’t have ‘raging hormones’.” Max stuffed a piece of chicken into his mouth. It’s the only time in Alec’s apartment’s history that he will allow food in his living room. They each had their dinner plates on the coffee table in front of them.

Alec rolled his eyes. “I remember when I was 16.” He picked up his cup to take a sip. “All I thought about was sex and who might be willing to get a hand on me.” He paused and set his cup down before turning to his siblings. “You know, if I wasn’t closeted and all.”

“And you’re still closeted,” Izzy grinned. “Still waiting for that hand?” Max snickered and tried to not smile.

“No! There was uh… someone… at hockey camp. Obviously, though, I’ve been with people since—”

“No way! Someone who plays for the NHL?” His siblings shocked eyes were watching his every move, TV forgotten.

“I’m not telling!” He pushed his lukewarm carrots around on his plate.

“Nuh uh,” Max said. “Pic’s or it didn’t happen.”

Alec’s eyebrows furrowed. “Maxie, I don’t really think that applies here.” His brother just shrugged.

“Well for what it’s worth, I’m happy you had a helping hand. Now, we just have to find you someone new!” Alec loved his sister with everything he had, but she always insisted he find someone. Half his team was either married or in a committed relationship. They always made a joke that he was single and not ready to mingle. “Have I told you about this guy I work with? He seems like the type of guy who’s okay with keeping a relationship secretive.”

Alec sighed. “No Izzy. I don’t want to hear about him or any other guy you know. I love you, but I’m not ready to be out yet. And it’s not fair for a guy to keep our relationship a secret because I’m scared to come out to the world.” He rubbed his hand self-consciously on the couch below him.

“Well, when you say it like that…” Izzy sighed and picked up her fork again.

“Or,” Max said, “you can just drop the bombshell on everyone like Magnus Bane did. Then it wouldn’t matter if you date or not, right?”

Alec froze. He really hoped he wasn’t going to have to hear that name tonight. Not with his siblings.

“Well I’m not Magnus Bane,” he replied bitterly. The commercial on TV suddenly became really interesting to Alec. Something about Viagra. That is one thing Alec doesn’t need, thank you very much.

“Whoa, bro,” Max said holding his hands out in defeat. “I was just saying how it was pretty cool that he did that. Didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Max might be on the right track. Maybe you can ask him for pointers? You are on the same team now. And you were good fri—”

Izzy cut herself off and stared at Alec with a smile. He glared back at her. “What?”

She broke into a grin. “Nothing,” she smirked. She turned to their younger brother who was looking at her questioningly. Then she sang mockingly in his face, “I know something you don’t know.”

His eyes widened. “What? What is it? What were you saying?” He looked between his siblings.

Alec sighed. “Ignore her. She doesn’t know _anything_ ,” he said punctually.

“Riiiight. I know nothing, sorry, Maxie.” She kissed his forehead and ruffled his light brown hair. “Though, Alec, I do think you should ask him. Maybe he could give you an inside scoop on what it’s like to come out?”

Their food has gone cold but Alec still stuck a piece of cold chicken into his mouth and shrugged. “Maybe…” But after how they left off the other day, Alec was going to be working extra hard on his ignoring-normal-people-skills—something he’s been working on his whole life so he should be good at this.

[][][][][] 

Or so Alec thought.

Practice season slowly slid into preseason. It was their first game back and the only person separating him from Magnus was Jace. The three of them together was the first line.

Coach had commented in their last practice that this is the strongest first line the Islanders had seen in a while and he was proud to call himself their coach. But with this, Alec knew ignoring Magnus would be harder than he had anticipated.

He had to know Magnus’ skills in and out just as he knew Jace’s. He had to know where Magnus would be on the ice even before he saw him. He had to know what he was thinking before it was executed.

All that was near damn impossible while trying to ignore the person.

But Alec tried anyway. He watched Magnus during practice without making it obvious. He watched his mannerisms so he knew his preferred shot and the angle the puck needed to get to. He watched Magnus as he passed the puck to Lewis, one of the defenseman on ice with them and he watched Magnus’ face light up when he made a goal against their leading goalie, Santiago.

Watching won’t win you the Cup though. Alec knew that, but that was months away. He had time. For now.

The first game during preseason was against the Philadelphia Flyers at home. The Flyers ended in the position just under the Islanders at the end of last season. Alec really hoped now that they had Magnus, they were better than when they last versed each other.

The puck dropped, and they were off. Jace won the puck for their team and Lewis came forward to keep it out of the Flyers reach.

By the end of the second period, they were still tied at 0-0.

During the second intermission, Coach Garroway told them they needed to focus more. Not only on keeping their mind on the puck (due to the easy turnovers), but also on each other. They were out of tune with each other and Alec inwardly cringed.

He knew that was an anonymous shout out to him. In the middle for the second, there was a two-on-one. Magnus was ahead of Alec only slightly, but when Alec tried to connect the puck to Magnus’ stick, it completely missed and flew past him. The Flyer sped past and picked it up. Their arena wasn’t sold out tonight, but Alec definitely heard—and felt— the disappointment.

In the end, it was Jace that scored a goal and ended the game 1-0 in the Islanders favor. Alec skated over and bumped him on the butt with his stick and skated off to the bench to bump fists with everyone—a hockey tradition. He watched as Magnus paused on the ice as the crowd chanted their Goal Song. “Yes! Yes! Yes!”

Alec remembered when he first heard it live. It was incredible. It was loud, just like they are now. It’s special to be a part of a team like this. Their fans were the best in the world. Then again, Alec was biased. This was the only NHL team he’s been on.

Like always, before they went into the locker room, they went out to center ice and raised their sticks as the crowd cheered with them. He saw out the corner of his eye number 44: Bane. He was shy about his movements, only finding out now that they had a ritual when they won. Alec knew he’d catch on soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! See you next Friday!
> 
> Come yell at me on Twitter: @malecsdaddari0


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Saturday! I know I'm a day late. I'm sorry! Family came today and it got crazy. 
> 
> But here I am! Finallyyy posting chapter 3. 
> 
> If you're here still reading, then I love you!! 
> 
> Note: There is adult content in this chapter

The month quickly changed from September to October. The Islanders were at their last practice before regular season started and Coach Garroway told the team they were going to pair up. He noticed that during the pre-season games, his players didn’t have good chemistry while on the ice together.

As the players started moving into their regular pairs, Coach’s voice rang out. “Nuh uh. I have your partner here.” He waved around a small note card and Alec’s stomach clenched.

“Since your first regular season game is in a couple days, your captain and I decided we needed to switch things up in practice while we still could.” Coach started pacing the home bench and looked out to his players. “Each and every one of you can always better yourself just by getting to know your teammates; it’s not always about skill or ability. In this exercise, you and your partner are to learn how the other moves and how they think. Build your chemistry now so we don’t have to fight for it during a crucial game. We have a good shot this season. Don’t waste it because you’re too much of a princess to get to know everyone.”

Alec suddenly found his skates fascinating. He knew that was for him. Alec felt the urge to throw up once Coach started calling out names.

“…Herondale and Meliorn, Lewis and Minyard…” Coach rapped out. As Jace past behind him to get to his partner, he bumped Alec on the back. “Santiago and everyone—I mean, Matthews.” The players chuckled. They all knew Raphael was a tough character to get along with at first. “Lastly, Lightwood and Bane. Get to your partners and get started.”

Alec froze. It was one thing to think it, but it was a completely new thing to hear it. His head jerked up when he felt a nudge on his back.

“I want to be your partner just as much as you want to be mine. Let’s just get it done with.” Magnus’ voice was low just so Alec could hear, but he looked around to see if anyone else heard.

Magnus’ back was to him as he skated out towards a free spot on the ice. Alec sighed and followed him. He knew there was no way out of this unless he wanted to be benched. He would never risk that.

Alec sneaked a glance at the other players and how they were spending their team-building time. Most groups were laughing. This was probably easy for them. Alec was sure that if he was partnered with anybody _but_ Magnus, he would’ve been laughing too right now.

He glanced at their coach now. Just as he was about to look away, Garroway looked his way. He could feel his coach’s challenge even though he was 25 feet away. Alec had to turn away.

“Do you ever get used to this much orange?” Magnus asked looking down at his practice jersey. He let the puck drop onto the ice and passed it between his stick before looking up at Alec.

Alec just looked at the puck.

“Or what about Lewis? He seems a bit… too energetic? _Oh_! What if he could give some to Santiago?” Magnus chuckled. “Looks like he needs some.”

Alec wanted to smile. He wanted to so badly to be the Alec he was 7 years ago, but he wasn’t. He wanted to not feel this shitty every time he had to be in the same vicinity as Magnus, let alone think of him. But he couldn’t. This dread that filled his stomach weighed him down like it was 2 tons.

“What nothing?” Alec could hear the anger in Magnus’ quiet voice. He deserved that. “Are you going to even try to play along? The least you could do is pretend you want to be around me. You pretend every day that you’re straight.”

Alec snapped his head up in anger. “ _Really_? _Here_? _Now_?” Alec did not want to look around to see if anyone heard. He did not want to look around. He was _not_ going to look around.

He looked around.

Magnus rolled his eyes and chuckled bitterly. “What? You think I’m going to out you? I’m not that much of a dick.” He passed the puck to Alec who was less than a foot away.

“It’s like you keep trying to—keep pushing— when I’m not ready.” He passed the puck back angrily.

“I keep pushing because it seems to be the only way to get any kind of reaction out of you.”

Alec looked up at his face. His features were cool and collected, kind of like how they were when they met Mr. Davis at the You Can Play Project. However, he saw the intensity behind his eyes. The want for answers. The _need_ for them.

Alec shook his head and looked anywhere but at Magnus. “Fine. I’ll talk about anything _but_ that.”

He heard Magnus stifle a sour laugh and suddenly the puck was back on his stick. “And that’s the _only_ thing I want to talk about.”

“Too bad. We’re at my home. So, you know,” Alec shrugged, “what I say goes.”

“Wow. Now who’s being the dick? Little Alexander grew up.” Alec passed the puck a little harder than necessary. “It’s actually _our_ home now.” Magnus closed the gap between their bodies with his and drew his hand up to Alec’s chin so he could look at his face and into his eyes. Alec inwardly gasped and swallowed hard. Being this close again... “Whether you like it or not, Alec, we’re on the same team. We have the same goal in mind: to win the Stanley Cup—something we’ve been working for our whole lives. You’re going to have to see me 9 months out of 12 and you’re going to have to deal with it. Think you can handle that?” If it were possible for his words to be lathered in anything, it would be anger.

Alec yanked his chin away and stepped back, but not before taking the puck with him. Alec was a mess of emotions. When Magnus said his name, it brought back memories of when they were kids again. Of when they transitioned into teenagers and things fell apart.

“Look,” Magnus sighed, “I’m not saying we need to be best friends— I know that’s not happening again—but we have to do this together for _our_ team. They’re depending on us. We’re two-thirds of the first line, we should start acting like it.”

Alec nodded. There was really nothing he could say without sounding like he needed to cry. Instead, he let the puck do the talking and passed it back to his teammate.

[][][][][] 

Alec didn’t sleep well that night. 

He tossed and turned all night while his brain rattled around his memories of Magnus. He was taken back to a time where things were simple between them, when their friendship meant something. He stayed awake and thought of how it felt when he first met Magnus all those years ago. 

When Alec did sleep, it was of Magnus and how he said his name. It was of Magnus on the ice across from him. It was of Magnus lying next to him in his own bed at hockey camp. It was Magnus’ face when they were 16 and Alec told him he didn't want to be his friend anymore. 

So, no, Alec didn't sleep well that night. 

At 8am, he finally decided to shuffle out of bed. 

He padded to his kitchen and pulled out his blender and fruits. After making the perfect breakfast smoothie, he threw on a pair of dark blue jogging shorts and a light-grey, fitted T-shirt. He stuffed his house key in his pocket and grabbed his phone and earbuds. 

He put his music on shuffle and jogged down the stairs of his apartment building and out into the crisp October air. 

On the days he was home, Alec liked to run around his neighborhood to let out pent up frustrations.

Alec liked to run. It was different than skating on ice. He liked the way his feet slammed on the ground with each step and the feel of his body being pulled down with it.

The wind flowed through his hair. Along with gravity, Alec loved how free he felt when he ran. It was as if he could simply open his arms and he could take off flying, almost like an angel.

He breathed in and changed the song he was listening to. Panic! At The Disco came on and Alec fell back into his rhythm.

After two miles, he turned around and headed back home.

Alec’s shower felt heavenly as the water sprayed down his back. He tried to imagine the stress from the past month sliding off him with every drop of water that hit his back or black hair. He slipped his eyes closed and scrubbed his soapy hands on his chest.

With his mind state more relaxed, he allowed his body to fall from stress to relaxation, pain to pleasure.

Then he felt _his_ pleasure begin to grow.

He didn’t want to give in, but with all the stress in his life right now, he figured what the hell.

With a deep breath, he gripped his dick with his foamy hands. Eyes still closed, he teasingly ran his hand over the length and used his other hand to cup his balls.

Alec gasped at the sensation before moving his hand faster over his hardening dick. With his other hand, he ran his middle finger over his asshole. A throaty groan escaped from his mouth as the finger pushed through the tight ring of muscle.

He took it slowly, knowing it’s been too long since he’d properly had anything inside of him. The softness of the soap made everything that much slicker than not and he sighed at the thought.

His finger moved at a teasingly slow rate while his hand on his dick kept the same rhythm. Every time his finger was thrust in, it hit a bundle of nerves that sent shivers down his back and into his toes. Alec’s flow sped up as he felt the heat in his stomach reach closer to its boiling point.

After a quick insertion of a second finger, Alec twisted the hand on his dick into a new pattern that he knew would push him over the edge.

The heat from the water around him made his skin feel like it was burning in the most pleasurable way. Inside him was no different. The warmth he felt was now sending butterflies throughout his body and he whimpered in satisfaction as he was tipped over the edge.

He felt his orgasm shake through him like waves crashing onto a cliff of rocks. He kept his hand moving in a fast pace as he leaned against the wall for support.

Alec finally opened his eyes and waited for them to adjust to the bright bathroom light. He laughed through a timid smile as he saw his cum painted in streaks over the bathtub wall across from him. He thanked every God out there that he was in his bathtub with easy access to water.

[][][][][]

The puck dropped, and they were off. Meliorn, the defenseman paired with Lewis, swooped up the puck and passed it to Alec who was just in front of him. Alec weaved his way in-between the Blue Jackets. They buzzed around him trying to get the puck off his stick.

Once in the Blue Jackets zone, Alec looked for an outlet to either score or pass the puck. There was no way he could get it to Jace or Magnus so instead he passed it back to Meliorn. He and Lewis played a few rounds of ping pong before the puck zoomed to Magnus’ stick. He one timed it at the net, but Bobrovsky, the Blue Jackets goalie, was quick to clutch and hold it.

The whistle sounded and they gathered towards Magnus for the new play to begin.

Dubinsky won it for Columbus. Alec watched as the defense kept a close eye on the puck. Meliorn checked the Blue Jacket into the wall and tried to steal the puck back, but failed. They were getting closer to Santiago and a player shot at the Islanders net.

Raphael may be a hard man to get to know off ice, but he was a beast in the net. He never showed his emotions; he was always calm and collected, just as a goalie should be. When he saw the puck heading his way, he never hesitated in his actions and caught the puck. In the past season, he saved the team’s ass more than once when their offence and defense were slacking off.

This time, he was no different. He instantly caught the puck in his glove and handed it off to Lewis on his right.

When they came out for the second period, the game was still 0-0.

Alec took his place to the left of Jace and heard the crowd chant and clap, “Let’s go, Islanders!” Being at home was always an advantage. Their fans always were their seventh player on the ice. Their cheers and claps and chants always brought the team into the correct mind frame that they were doing this for _them_. Their fans. They wouldn’t be doing this without them.

There were less than five minutes in the second when the Blue Jackets scored against Santiago. In his defense, there was nothing he could’ve done to reach the puck in time. They had scored on a rebound and Raphael needed to get to the other side of the net in a second to stop it in time.

The team huffed as the Blue Jackets hugged and hit the scorer on the ass. Santiago squirted water into his mouth and around his neck while he had the chance in hopes to cool down.

The last 20 minutes of the game followed suit. The Blue Jackets scored another goal right at the end of the game to win 2-0. The Islanders didn’t stick around to watch them celebrate.

The team trudged to the locker room in defeat and began to strip their hockey gear for the shower.   

Alec pulled off his jersey and held it in his hands. His name, written in white, stood out along the top and his number— “26”— caught his eye.

He gently ran his hand over it as the commotion around him continued, but Alec didn’t notice—he learnt to drown out the loud noise of his teammates.

To Alec, and most players out there, their number meant something to them. To Alec, it signifies _him_. It alerts the world that _this_ is Alec Lightwood. And it makes him incredibly happy that fans can point him out just by his number.

He quickly unzipped his bag and reached inside the small pouch. He softly grasped the rainbow bracelet inside as if careful not to shatter it like stained glass. He kept his eyes on it; made sure he knew it was still there, that _he_ was still here.

Alec. Lightwood. 26. Hockey. Islanders. Left Winger. Izzy. Max. Mom. Dad. Gay.

He ran through his check list several times before he was startled by the hand on his back.

“Hey, buddy.” Alec breathed deeply once more and let go of the bracelet and turned to see who it was.

“Those reporters were crazy tonight,” said Jace shaking his head. “It’s just our first game back, we have plenty to prove. 81 more games to go.”

The team often times traded off handling the press after a game. Since it was opening night, Jace handled them—Coach thought it looked good for Herondale’s career as well as the Islanders’. But as a whole, the unofficially agreed that Simon would be their go-to-guy when dealing with the press. It’s not that they hated the task, Simon was just a people person; very energetic, always smiling and never said a bad thing about anyone unless it was a joke. Even then, the jokes were only about Islanders players so the media didn’t spin his words into some rivalry shit. Now that he thought about it, all that is probably way Alec wasn’t too fond of him when they first met. But Simon weaseled his way in, like he did with everyone—including Raphael.

Jace ripped off his jersey and gently hung it on the hanger in his wooden locker before pulling off all his upper body padding.

Alec pulled of his gear and laid it on the bench in front of him. His undershirt got pulled with it and he quickly pulled it down. “Yup, 81 more to go.”

“Yo, Jace! I heard you’re our guy now when it comes to after game winning parties,” Simon called out across the locker room. “Lightwood’s kicking us out on our asses, huh?”

Alec snorted and hollered back. “It’s not like I want you hooligans to trash my place again. I offered to dump you all on Santiago!”

A chorus of chuckles rang out through the room. Looking towards Simon, he saw Magnus pulling his skates off. He may not be watching, but he was certainly paying attention.

“If any of you even come close to contaminating my home, you better know to lock your doors at night.” Raphael gave the room a dirty look, but they all knew he was joking… mostly. “Or maybe I’ll just let pucks fall into my net.”

Everyone rolled their eyes playfully and laughed. “Suuure you will.”

Alec turned again to see Magnus looking at him concerned. The wrinkles in his forehead proved to Alec that Magnus didn’t really know anyone yet—besides him… kinda—to know when they’re joking or not. Alec allowed himself to give in just this once and smiled lightly and shook his head no in a silent answer. _No, Raphael will_ not _let pucks in our net on purpose._ He may look like he doesn’t care sometimes, but Raphael’s a big softie on the inside. He wouldn’t be in the NHL if he didn’t care. Magnus physically relaxed and looked up at Santiago once more before tending to his skates again.

Alec watched him for a moment. His foot was up on the bench as he undid the laces and slid them off. Behind him, his blue, orange and white sweater hung proudly as his backdrop.

“Don’t worry, buddy,” Jace smiled. “I’ve taken the burden off your shoulders.” Everyone did a small celebration before heading down the hall to the showers.

Alec turned away from Magnus and back to his gear, he slipped off his blue and orange shorts and hung them next to his jersey.

“Oh, Alec, before I forget,” Jace started. “Mind if I come by tonight? It’ll be quick.”

Alec fake gasped. “You’re never allowed to come over, how dare you even ask that, Herondale. Of course you can.”

Jace pushed Alec hard enough for him to stumble back a step. “Ouch, that hurt my ego, Alec.”

“Oh please, your ego needs no help,” Alec laughed.

[][][][][]

“Alright, I’m coming.”

Alec was just about to turn into bed when someone knocked at his front door. He wondered who would be showing up so late, but it dawned on him once he opened the door.

“I’m sorry,” he said smiling. “I don’t believe I ordered a blondie. I prefer darker haired men, myself.”

Jace rolled his eyes and playfully pushed Alec inside. “And I don’t believe I ordered a sassy best friend.”

“Of course you did! It comes with the gayness.” Alec laughed and flopped on the couch. He pulled one of the brown throw pillow Izzy insisted he buy and brought it under his head. His legs were curled up next to his body so Jace had enough room. “How convenient that we live in the same building,” he smiled. “I would’ve never agreed for you to come over if I knew it were going to be so late.”

“Sorry about that.” Jace sat next to him and took in his surroundings even though he’s been in Alec’s apartment enough times to lose count. “Coach and I were talking after practice the other day and we thought I should talk to you about it. I’ve waiting till the last possible moment to ask, but Coach… you know how he is.”

Alec closed his eyes. He hoped Jace thought it was because he was tired. “We don’t need to talk about it. Everything’s all good.”

Alec opened his eyes just as Jace shook his head. “I’m sorry I need to ask. I told Coach I would.” He paused and took a breath. “Alec, what’s going on with you and Magnus? We’ve been a team for a month now—that’s nearly every single day of practice for pre-reg games— and I’ve never seen you two talk unless you were literally pushed into it, and you never seem to want to hang out with him.”

Alec knew this was coming. It was going to sooner or later. He was a fool to think he could ignore Magnus and everything would be fine. He tried to do his best shrug while laying down. “We just never talk. Nothing’s wrong.”

“Come on, Alec,” Jace said roughly. “Don’t give me that bullshit. I can tell there’s something more than that. You look like you want to bolt anytime his name is even mentioned. You look at him from across the room like you’ve never seen a person before, and unless you’re playing hard to get, there’s something more.” Jace turned and angled himself better towards Alec. “Coach and I aren’t the only one who noticed. Some of the guys asked. I didn’t know obviously what to say, which is why Coach and I thought it would be good to pair you together during practice the other day.”

Alec sat up and placed the pillow on his lap. “Coach thinks that too? Why?”

“Really? Who on the team _doesn’t_ think that? And what happened when we paired you up? Were you fighting? It looked like it was getting heated for a moment.”

Alec shook his head angrily and landed his eyes on his friend. “You don’t know anything, Jace. Stop pretending like you do.”

Jace was startled and sat back and raised his voice to match Alec’s intensity. “I don’t know anything? I know _you_ , Alec! I know how you are with new players, and _that_ , how you’ve been treating Magnus, is not it.” Taking a deep breath, his voice lowered and Jace place a hand on Alec’s shoulder. “I just don’t understand what’s going on with you.”

Alec stood up, hand falling to the couch. “Maybe that’s for a reason.” He tossed the brown pillow onto the couch where he was just sitting and walked towards the hallway to his room.

“Alec… Don’t—Please come back.” Alec wished Jace was as sincere as he sounded, but he kept walking.

“You can let yourself out,” he said as he opened his bedroom door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think of it so far! 
> 
> Thank you for reading <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I'm back again with another update!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's taken the time to read this little creation of mine. It's very special to me. <3 And thank you for letting me know how much you like it <3
> 
> I use the hashtag #FtLoTG on twitter :D 
> 
> Okayy I'll let you read. Beware of Jace. Tune in next Friday for another update! Believe me, it's going to be a good one!

The final buzzer sounded. The New York Islanders have won 3-1 against the Carolina Hurricanes and their fans went wild! Blue and orange littered the arena as the team gathered in the center to do their “Yes! Yes! Yes!” tradition. Their sticks were raised above their heads and they pumped their arms to the cheers coming from the fans off ice.

Alec’s heart pounded as the adrenaline flowed through him, his high still present. He knew his teammates felt the same. The bliss of winning doesn’t go away for hours after the game finished.

Alec thought they played well tonight even if they hadn’t won. All four of their lines were in sync with one other and Alec, for the first time, felt the connection with Magnus that he felt with each one of his teammates. It was almost a relief to know that he got over his shit enough to play well alongside of Magnus without feeling guilty if they’d lost like he normally did.

Instead of playing badly, Alec let all his frustrations out on the ice. He was still pissed at Jace for asking if there was anything between him and Magnus—even if it was true. Either way, it was none of Jace’s business. Then there was _Magnus_. Alec had to be his _teammate_. That alone was weighing Alec down. Not to mention, all of the baggage Alec was carrying.

Alec knew he shouldn’t be mad at Jace. It was the irrational side of him that was angry at his best friend. He thought a lot about what Jace said that night, and he was right. Alec wanted to fix his on-ice problems, even if the problem was a thing called Magnus. He _had_ to if the New York Islanders had any chance of making it to the playoffs.

On his way down the hallway to the locker room, Alec was pulled aside, slightly knocked off balance due to the blades he was standing on; his skates.

The hands that held his shoulders steadied him. “Watch it, Lightwood, this is a nice suit I’m wearing.”

Coaches voice flooded his ears from behind. He turned around, balance regained, and took a step back. “It is, Coach. Grey looks good on you.”

Garroway cracked a smile and slapped his hand on Alec’s shoulder. “Flattery will get you everywhere, boy. You looked good out there tonight.” He turned towards the locker room and started walking. Alec followed and caught up next to him. “You looked like the left winger I know you are.”

Pride and relief filled Alec’s chest and the ends of his mouth curled up. “Thank you. It felt good to be that player again.” He pulled his gloves and helmet off and handed them to the gear-guy that was following him.

“Keep it up.” The hallway curled around and Alec saw the wooden entrance door.

“Will do, Coach.” He was about to push through the doors when he stopped, turning. “Actually, I have a question.”

“Shoot.” Garroway’s eyebrow rose in question.

“Why is—how is Magnus co-ambassador for You Can Play? I thought it was one player per team?” Slight anxiety filled his chest as he tried to hold his gaze with his coach. Not only was it was a sensitive topic, but Alec never liked questioning his coach.

Alec watched as Coach’s face evened out. “The club decided that the only LGBTQ player should be an ambassador. You’re damn lucky you’re even a ‘co’. They were prepared to kick your ass to the curb.”

Alec nodded disappointed. “Magnus told me you persuaded them to keep me on.” His hands at his side played with the hem of his jersey. “Thank you for that. Being ambassador really means a lot to me.”

Coach nodded approvingly. “I’ve seen what you can do with the position, Lightwood. I see it’s important. But you should be thanking the club—they have all the power. I was just your character witness.”

[][][][][]

There was an obnoxious knock on Alec’s apartment door after the game that night. His sister jumped up to get it, but Alec told her it wasn’t her door to answer and practically had to push her out of the way.

He swung the door open and found a little redhead standing next to Simon Lewis. “Hey!” Simon chirped. “Jace told me you weren’t at the party yet. I thought I’d swing by to pick you up. We can walk over together!”

Jace’s first home party was tonight; he announced it in the locker room after the game.

“Not going, “Alec said. “My sister is staying with me tonight. I don’t really want her in that scene.” Alec leaned against the door frame, grey sweatshirt wrapped around his body. Really, he just didn’t want to see Jace yet.

“Bring her! The more the—”

“Did I hear you calling me, big brother?”

Alec rolled his eyes as Izzy pulled the door open to reveal herself to their guests. “No,” he smiled sweetly. “You did not.”

“Oops?” He knew she wasn’t sorry, but smiled anyway. She turned towards Simon and the red head. “I heard you mention a party? I’m always up for a good drink. I’m Isabelle Lightwood,” she said extending her hand out. “You are?”

Alec knew she knew everyone on the team. Izzy was quite the hockey fan. She grew up around Alec going to and from practice every day as a kid. And he made her watch NHL games with him when he wasn’t at practice.

“Simon Lewis,” he replied in a trance-like state and kissed her hand. “Jace, our teammate, is having a celebration party. He’s, like, just upstairs.” Without missing a beat, he turned towards Alec and continued talking. “This is Clary, my best friend. We’ve been friends since fore— But seriously,” he asked turning back towards Izzy. “How have we not met before? I—you’re just—”

Alec chimed in before his teammate could spit more out. “That’s because I’m her brother.” He smiled a little too sweetly. “You honestly think I’ll introduce her to you hooligans?” He glared at Simon deep enough for him to get the hint who, in return, held up his hands in defeat.

“Ignore him,” Izzy said. “We’re going. Besides, I haven’t seen Jace in forever. Too bad Max couldn’t be here,” she said walking off to get her purse.

Simon watched her walk away and Alec snapped his fingers in his face.

[][][][][]

What his baby sister wanted, she got.

Izzy made Alec put on a nicer shirt even though he insisted everyone else will be in tee-shirts and sweatpants. She ignored him and threw a blue, casual shirt at him.

When they got to Jace’s door, Simon turned the knob and walked in, music blasting them from inside.

Everyone suddenly faced the door, and after a beat of silence, they all started calling out Simon and Alec’s names. Simon smiled and pulled Clary by the arm through the door to meet his friends.

Alec noticed the pungent smell of bear and alcohol. The team usually never drinks enough to get drunk while hockey was in season. The players needed a cool, collected head to play their game correctly, but on the days where they were off the next day, like now, they allowed themselves to have a little fun. They just had to be sure they didn’t tweet any pictures of them drinking. Their agents, along with the club’s public relations manager, would give them a pounding for giving the team a bad reputation.

“Isabelle!” Jace pushed through his chattering teammates to get to them. He instantly hugged her. “How have you been?”

She hugged back and clung to his tee-shirt. “Oh, you know, same ol’ boring thing; going to college and working with my parents.”

He scoffed lightheartedly and said, “As if working with your parents is boring. I mean, don’t you sit at a desk for 8 hours a day doing the lawyerly work that they demand you to do? That’s incredibly fun in my opinion. More so than skating on ice shooting a little black disk around.” Izzy laughed and shoved his shoulder.

“I try to get out as much as possible to compensate how boring it is. Which,” she said turning towards her brother, “is also why I dragged this guy over.”

Alec tried to focus his gaze on Izzy, but he could feel the unresolved tension flowing from Jace onto him. They still haven’t talked since Alec kicked Jace out of his apartment two nights ago. Alec seemed to be having a problem with the words, “I’m sorry,” lately. He knew it was ridiculous.

He didn’t realize his mind was in another universe until Izzy was pulling on his arm towards a crowd of people.

“Seriously, he’s incredible. You have to meet him. You’d get along so well, I can feel it,” he heard Jace say to his sister.

Alec looked around the group to find Simon there too with Clary and introduced her to their friends. After a few more seconds, he spotted Magnus who was oddly getting closer to him. Or _he_ was getting closer to Magnus.

Jace brought them right up to Magnus side. “Bro, this is Isabelle, Alec’s sister. Izzy, this is Magnus Bane.”

Alec was tense next to Izzy and tried to breathe. Everything could unfold right now. His secrets could be blurted out to the whole team just because he knew Isabelle remembered Magnus from when they were younger. Alec’s breath was shallow and he desperately wished he had his rainbow bracelet clutched in his palm.

“Magnus! Wow, it’s good to see you!” Isabelle leaned in to hug him, but Alec saw it was a cover just so she could whisper in his ear.

Alec watched Magnus’ face closely for any recognition of remembering her. But he kept his expressions collected and opted for the nice-to-meet-you smile.

But as Izzy pulled away, he heard Magnus reply, “Oh, I remember.” Her smile was bright and animated. Under any other circumstance, Alec would’ve smiled along just because there was no way he couldn’t when it came to her, but tonight, he kept his straight face and forced a light smile for appearances. Magnus pulled back more and gave her a once-over look. “My, my, you are absolutely beautiful, Isabelle!”

“Oh, hush! I’m just wearing jeans,” she laughed and ran her hands over her pants.

“Careful, Magnus! Keep the flirting on the DL.” Simon slid next to them and leaned in closer to pretend only Magnus could hear even though he knew everyone in the small vicinity could. “Alec’s already shut me down tonight.”

For a moment, Magnus looked at Alec then turned back to Simon and started laughing. “I wonder why! You already have a gorgeous woman on your arm.”

Clary’s eyes widened and she quickly retracted her arm from Simon’s. “Oh no! Goodness,” she giggled. “We’re not—” She looked to Simon and back to Magnus. “We’re friends. _Just_ friends.”

Simon smiled at her brightly. “The _best_.”

Alec would’ve thought it was romantic if they were together, but then he took a closer look and saw how weird they seem together. They didn’t scream _‘couple’_.

Jace, who had been silent during both exchanges, finally spoke up. “Hi, I’m Jace Herondale. Nice to meet you.” He extended his hand towards Clary. Alec instantly rolled his eyes and smiled because he _knew_ what that smile was. It wasn’t just his hi-I’m-Jace-Herondale smile, it was his _Hi-I’m-Jace-Herondale_ smile.

Alec thought it sounded better in his head when he first thought of it.

“Clary Fray,” she replied, shaking his hand. Alec risked a glance towards Simon whose head was cocked slightly watching his friend and teammate’s interaction.

“Now,” Magnus said loudly alongside of a cap of his hands. “I was going to tell a story, wasn’t I?”

“YES!” Jace was honestly too excited for Alec tonight. He couldn’t help but smile, though. Jace’s energy emanated to everyone that was around him. Then Alec remembered he was supposed to be mad at Jace and allowed his feelings to set in. “Wait,” Jace said. “How many beers have you had? I want you drunk for this.”

“This is my second bottle. I’m not going over three tonight.” Magnus backed up towards the couch and jumped up onto it, standing on the dark cushions.

“Boo,” said Jace unenthusiastically. “ _Fine_. Another time. But I’m holding you to that.” He pointed his finger at Magnus who just nodded.

“I had a story in mind earlier about when I was in college,” Magnus started, “but I changed it.” He sat on the backing of the couch and leaned his back onto the wall.

Izzy pulled Alec onto the loveseat that was perpendicular to the couch Magnus, Clary and Jace were on.

Magnus continued. “My friends, I am taking you back to a time where I was young and reckless—”

“Are you sure you don’t mean now?” Everyone looked over to Meliorn who joined them in their little story-time circle.

“Ha! Touché. I appreciate you thinking I’m young. But no, not now. I was 14 and I’m telling you about the time my camp friend and I got very drunk.” Magnus’ eyes lingered on Alec a second longer than they both knew they should’ve.

Alec pulled his eyes away fast. He knew this story. Hell, he was _in_ this story. It took everything in him to not get up and run to his bed and die of Horrible Ex-Best Friend Syndrome. Instead, he opted for dry heaving in front of said ex-best friend. His sister lovingly set her hand on the small of his back.

“Do tell,” Izzy shouted encouragingly.

Traitor.

Magnus smirked her way and looked back out towards his listeners. “Lights out were at 9 o’clock. No one at camp drove yet, so our coaches never thought to bolt us in, because where would we go, right? So, one night, my roommate and I snuck out. We waited for an hour—maybe two— before leaving to ensure everyone was asleep. The nearest town was maybe a fifteen-minute drive? It took us nearly a half hour to get to the closest gas station. We traveled a little further until we found a nightclub.” Magnus broke into a reserved smile. Alec knew it all too well.

“Don’t tell me you snuck in,” someone said.

Magnus jerked his head up in a deadpan expression. “You bet your ass we did.” Laughter broke out and Alec looked down into his lap and smiled. There wasn’t much after they snuck in that he could remember. He just knew they had a lot of fun, and got in a lot of trouble. “Mind you, the drinking age in this part of Canada is 19 and we were 14-year-olds trying to sneak our tiny, hormone-changing bodies into a club where these other men had a good foot and a half on us in height.”

He took a swig of his beer and continued. “So, somehow we snuck in. We walked right up to the bar and Al—my friend took the cup right off the counter and drank it in one go. I swear,” he laughed, “that was the first time I’ve ever seen him do something that out of character.”

Alec frowned and wanted to shout that he was cooler than Magnus was making him out to be. But he was too much of a chicken to speak up. That, and he didn’t want Jace to win their argument too easily. “Nuh uh,” he whispered. He knew only his sister could hear and said, “I was plenty cool. My side of the story, is definitely better.”

“Sure it is,” she whispered back.

She nudged him in the side and Magnus glanced at them before continuing. “Anyway, we turned it into a game to see who could get the most drinks without being caught. I thought I would win by a long shot because I was smaller and could fit into little crevices of the bar better, but it turns out that we both lost. Our head coach found us with two cops trailing closely behind.”

“Oh shit. Whaddya do?” Jace was practically in a trance as he looked up at Magnus completely enthralled.

Magnus laid his empty hand on Jace’s shoulder. “We were in no condition to run, so we let them take us back to camp. God, we were in so much trouble. They didn’t throw us out of the camp because we’ve never done anything like that before and he was captain of our team, but they did call our parents. My mom was pissed,” he shook his head at the memory. “Our punishment was that we couldn’t play the game at the end of summer for our parents and we couldn’t participate in any hockey practices for a week which was a horrible punishment, if I do say so myself. Hell, that alone was bad. But along with that, we had to sit next to our coaches on the bench and listen to their whistles going off every few seconds. That hungover day was…” his eyes blew up in pain and Alec winced thinking about it too. He could hear the whistle’s monotonous pitch rumble through his 14-year-old hungover body. They had buckets next to them on the benches in case they needed to throw up. Which, they did as their whole summer team watched. “Horrible.” Magnus visibly shivered and made a face. “I didn’t drink again until I was legal.

“We later found out that our coaches first realized we were gone that night because we set off a silent alarm when we opened the gate door to leave camp,” he laughed, sliding quickly back into his easygoing personality. “Since that night, they made a rule to put tape on our doors every night. If that piece of tape was ripped in the morning, the campers in that room would have to sit out of practice for the day and help the staff in the kitchen.”

“That’s harsh, bro.” Simon was sitting in front of Magnus and put his hand on Magnus’ knee in a supporting gesture.

Magnus hummed and opened his mouth to reply when Alec felt his mouth moving on its own accord. Alec just _wanted_. “And how can you remember all this if you were drunk? Or so I’m assuming,” Alec rushed out looking in the vicinity of Magnus but not _at_ him.

“Memory is a funny thing,” Magnus replied standing up onto the couch. He hopped off the cushions and onto the floor and walked slowly towards Alec. “I may not have remembered that night or the day after, but after time, it all came back to me. I’m sure if you look back seven or so years, you’ll be able to remember things too.”

Air left Alec’s body.

That was a low blow. Alec’s heart was being pulled into a million different directions.

Alec finally looked up to Magnus’ face. His old friend was watching intently what Alec’s next move would be.

Alec didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of winning so he did his best to keep a straight face and shrugged. “Maybe,” he said. “Or maybe not."

What the hell was he saying? He was supposed to _fix_ this between him and Magnus, not rip a bigger hole in whatever this was.

He watched as Magnus’ small smile dropped into a frown and searched Alec’s eyes for any indication of a lie. Alec stood his ground. It felt like minutes passed before Magnus inched his eyes off Alec. Alec’s heart clenched in his chest and he instantly wanted to lunge and throw his arms around his old friend for support. After a moment of hesitation, Magnus shrugged and turned back around to everyone else with a huge smile.

Alec could feel disappointment radiating off his sister who sat next to him. She saw the pain in Magnus’ eyes. She kept her sad eyes on Magnus’ back. Alec’s just glad she didn’t blurt out the fact that it was Alec in the story with Magnus.

Alec needed to get out of there. He wanted to throw up like he did when he was hungover in Magnus’ story tonight and he wanted to crawl into bed and forget any of this happened. He couldn’t get out of the door fast enough.

He knew Izzy would come home when she was ready. Jace would take care of her.

But Alec needed to take care of himself right now.

[][][][][]

One moment Magnus was circling around his new teammates, then the next he was being pulled into the next room with the door shut behind him. Jace was grinning at him when he looked up.

“At least buy me dinner before you pull me to the side for a quickie,” Magnus joked. “And the beer in my hand doesn’t count towards it.”

Jace rolled his eyes, red solo cup still in hand. “You wish,” he chuckled. “I just need to ask you something.” Magnus made a go-ahead gesture and Jace continued. “There’s no easy way to ask, so I’ll just say it. What happened between you and Alec?”

Suddenly the soft grey walls surrounding him felt darker. Anxiety arose in Magnus’ chest but he didn’t let it show. He’s had too many years of practice when he was let down. For starters, his stepfather…

Magnus mentally shook his head and brought himself back to the real world. “What makes you think we didn’t meet in September during our first practice?”

Jace waved his empty hand around and spun around the room. Magnus thought he might’ve been drunk. “Oh, you know, basically the fact that you never said one word to each other until basically today…Or maybe because he told me.”

Magnus’ blood ran cold and he felt his forced smile drop. “He _told_ you?” Magnus never thought Alec would say a word to anyone about their past.

“Okay, well, no,” Jace replied obliviously. He set his cup down and sat on the edge of the bed. He didn’t look at Magnus, who in return stood and stared. “He didn’t. But he’s my best friend.” He glanced up through his eyelashes almost soberly. “I can tell these things. I know when he’s… off.”

Magnus sunk back into his panic and swallowed. He wasn’t nearly as drunk as he needed to be for this conversation.

He thought of Alec. The shy young boy he met at camp when they were 11 years old. Then he thought of 16-year-old Alec. And now 23-year-old Alec. “I think this is something you need to ask him,” Magnus almost whispered. “It’s personal."

“So, you’re saying that something _did_ happen? You knew each other before last month?”

Magnus ran his hand over the bed sheets and sat next to Jace. The cheap beer bottle in his hand long forgotten. “I won’t lie to you about my past, Jace. It made me who I am, but I won’t tell you every detail. Maybe it’ll be enough for you to understand.” He paused to take a quick, reassuring breath. “Alec and I, we used to be friends.”

He didn’t risk a glance at Jace. Magnus knew he heard by the intake of breath. “What happened? You clearly haven’t talked for a while.” His voice was soft, almost sorry. Magnus wished it didn’t bring pain to his heart.

Not once has he told anyone about this part of his past. Not even Cat, and that alone was hard to do. Maybe it was the two beers he had or maybe it was the weight of never saying it out loud before, but Magnus allowed the words to flow out of him for the first time.

“We went to the same hockey camp in Canada. We met because we were roommates. The story I told tonight… it was about him.”

Jace’s tipsy eyes popped out of his head. “What! Alec? That—that was _Alec_?”

Magnus nodded. “Our camp director knew Alec from the previous year, but I was new and I guess they thought Alec was the best candidate to show me the ropes since he pretty much followed every rule and did his best not to deviate from them. You know, until that night when we got drunk.”

Jace gave a soft laugh like he understood. “I quickly learned Alec was an introvert and I tried to weasel my way to be his friend. And for the next five years, we were closer than ever. Even though he lived in New York and I lived in California, we would visit each other during the school year because we couldn’t stand to be a part for so long.” Magnus felt his heart warm at the memories. Then it turned cold when he remembered what happened after... “The next year at camp, our last year together… it was different. And it drove Alec away. _I_ drove Alec away.” He closed his eyes and took a breath before opening them again. “The summer after senior year, he didn’t return to camp and we never talked again.”

“Why? What happened?”

“A lot,” he shrugged. Magnus tried for years to get the words Alec said to him out of his mind. Out of his _heart_. When your best friend says something like that… “Ask Alec. It’s not my story to tell. Hell, I don’t even _know_ the full story _myself_.” Magnus stood, bottle still in hand. He stole a glance quickly at Jace. Before opening the door, he said, “Take what you will from this. Just know I cared a lot him. I still do even when I know I shouldn’t.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5 is up! I want to thank everyone who's been reading <3 it means a lot
> 
> I'm dedicating this chapter to Cami (ProudShumshine on Twitter) because she's the first one (other than me) to use #FtLotG on Twitter! <3 Thank you for reading, Camiiiii :D <3
> 
> Let me know what you think of this chapter-- it's a big one!!! The one you've all been waiting for. I've used myself and my own thoughts as an inspiration for Alec so I hope you like it.
> 
> WARNINGS: Internalized homophobia and mentions of suicide

Alec sipped his coke at the bar in his hotel alone. He told his teammates, and his roommate for tonight—Meliorn—that he was going to head to bed early tonight. Normally, Alec would room with Jace, but when Jace was assigning rooms for tonight, Alec guessed they weren’t together for Alec’s sake. They still haven’t patched it up.

Alec ran his finger through the condensation on the cup and thought back to their game earlier tonight. Their game against the Lightning was intense.

For a period and a half, the score was stuck at 2-2. Alec scored the tying goal against Tampa Bay in the second, but no one after him scored—at least in regulation. The game went into overtime. Since overtime was 5 minutes and each team could only have 3 players out, Garroway put Alec, Jace and Simon out. When each of them failed to score, the new OT line went out.

In the end, it was Magnus who won the game for the Islanders. He had a breakaway after the puck was turned over in their end. He skated with all his might and faked a shot so the goalie would dive down to catch it, but the puck didn’t leave his stick. He took a real shot a second later and the black puck plunged deep into the back of the net.

The Islanders jumped off the bench and skated out to meet him in the middle. The crowd, disappointed in their team losing, booed as they slapped their gloves onto each other’s helmets.

After the game, they went out for a quick bite to eat and went back to their hotel. They have to fly out to Chicago early in the morning for their game tomorrow night.

Still in his grey suit, Alec paid the bartender and walked sluggishly towards the elevators. He watched Meliorn, Simon, Minyard, and a few others in their swimsuits going out towards the heated pool. Alec was sure the pool was closed already, but he smiled and waved at his friends anyway. At least they’ll sleep a couple hours on the plane.

Alec wished he could’ve had something stronger than coke tonight, but it was all he could have for now. And tomorrow, he would have nothing but carbs and water for the game.

The elevator ride wasn’t long, and when it reached the sixth floor, Alec stumbled out, his exhaustion from the game hitting him.

He dragged his travel bag along the floor and pulled his key card out of his pocket and slid it in the card slot to room 625. He opened the door to an icy cold room, just how he liked it. He breathed in the scent and took a look around the room. He found Meliorn’s bag slung on top of the bed closest to the air conditioner, so he put his on the other.

[][][][][]

Alec just gotten out of his suit and into comfortable clothes when someone banged on his door.

“Alec, let me in,” Jace demanded. Alec stood in front of the door debating on whether or not he wanted to see him. He could just pretend he was out. They still haven’t properly talked, but Alec knew that was hit fault and not Jace’s. “Don’t try me. You know I always have a master key. That, and I saw you walk in.”

Alec sighed and unlocked the door before swinging it open for his friend. Jace buzzed past him into the hotel room and Alec shut the door slowly trying to delay the inevitable.

“I talked to Magnus,” Jace said impatiently. Alec’s back was still facing Jace. Using this to his advantage, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath to try and relax. His hand was still on the closed door, but he quickly dropped it to show that he was still sort of alert.

Alec knew what was coming. Jace knew everything. He had to if he talked to Magnus already. “Talked about what?” he asked innocently and too coolly for what he was really feeling. He turned slowly and walked towards his bed. His laid-out suit was still on his bed and Alec put it on the hanger and hung it up in the closet.

“I know about you going to the same camp. I know you were friends. And I know that story from the other night was about you.” Jace sighed. “Look, I’m not mad at you. I just don’t understand why you didn’t tell me.”

“You asked Magnus? Jace, what the hell!” Alec’s heart was beating a million miles per minute.

_Magnus told him._

Jace took a cautioned step towards Alec. “You weren’t telling me. You lied to me and told me you didn’t know Magnus, but that isn’t the case, is it? Your lack of chemistry on the ice was killing us. Alec, I love you like a brother, but I’m still the captain of this team. If there is a window that needs closing, then I’ll do what I have to do to make sure that happens.”

“It’s fixed now. You couldn’t just let it go, could you?” Alec huffed in defeat and sat down on the bed, taking a deep breath. He noticed Jace visibly relaxed too. “It’s personal, Jace. I- I don’t think I’m re—”

Jace rushed to sit next to Alec. “Did you hook up or something? Is that what you’re scared to tell me? Because if that’s the case, it doesn’t bother me. You know you being gay has never bothered me, right?”

Alec ignored the question because he knew his sexuality never disturbed Jace. “Did he _tell_ you that? That we hook—”

“No, no.” Jace shifted slightly and anxiously ran his fingers over the plushy, white duvet under him. “He didn’t have to. Alec, that’s what I’m trying to tell you… You’re my best friend. You can tell me anything you need to, whether it happened seven minutes ago, or seven years ago.”

Well shit. Alec wasn’t ready for this—for his secrets to be ripped open. But Jace was his best friend, his brother, he deserved to know. There’s no better time than the present, right? “What I did to him… I think about it all the time.” Alec rubbed his thumb and forefinger together nervously and stared at the dresser in front of him.

“What you did?” Jace’s voice was soft, almost like if he spoke louder, he’d break Alec more than he already was.

Alec looked up to his friend before looking down to his nervous hand. “How much did he tell you exactly?”

Jace shrugged. “Just that you were roommates—best friends—and then something happened your last year. You stopped talking to him. I assumed _he_ did something _you_.”

 Alec snapped his head back, heartache written all over his face. “No, no. It was all me. It was my fault…”

“Please, Alec, please talk to me. This is me being your best friend and supporter, not your captain. I want to help. I want to understand. _Help_ me understand.” He laid a supporting hand on Alec’s thigh.

Alec nodded and paused to take a breath and to think about his word choice. Too many emotions flowed through his mind and heart, but he tried to push them aside to finally tell Jace the truth. “Just don’t speak until I’m finished. I don’t think I’d be able to finish then.” Jace nodded.

“We instantly became friends when we met,” Alec started. “Despite what he may have told you, I’d always considered him a friend since the very beginning. It was a couple years after that he told me he was bisexual. I’d never heard that word before—I realize now I was completely sheltered when I was younger— but once he explained it, I didn’t think differently of him. How could I? He was still _Magnus_ : the hilarious guy that always kept me company and made me laugh on the ice after our coach gave us a verbal beating.” He smiled sadly at the memory.

“That school year, we started visiting each other. Our parents knew we were friends and allowed visits during Christmas, or spring break, or any other holiday,” he said moving his hand aimlessly around. “We were so close, he knew everything about me, and I knew _everything_ about him.” Alec swallowed, uneasiness arising again. “The next school year, he told me he started dating a guy. I was 16—nearly 17—and I didn’t understand why I wanted to be the only one Magnus talked to. I wanted to…I don’t know,” he said painfully. “At the time, it was a lot to process. Their relationship didn’t last long, however, because during camp that summer, he told me they’d broken up. I asked why, but he said he liked someone else. It didn’t register at that moment that maybe, it might’ve been me, I was just too sad? Disappointed, maybe—that it wasn’t me…” Alec shook his head, trying to clear his emotions. He felt tears prickling his eyes. He knew what was coming.

“Anyways, one night we were locked into our dorm—they locked us in every night so we couldn’t run off and party—and Magnus hopped onto my bed where I was about to lay down. He looked nervous. It was something I’ve rarely ever seen on him; he was always so confident and didn’t care what anyone thought. It was always something I’ve admired of him. But before I could ask about it, he leaned over and kissed me and I kissed him back.” He paused so Jace could take it in. He risked a glance over and saw sadness, not shock like he anticipated. Jace smiled slightly in support. Alec took a deep breath in return.

“Before that, I never thought of kissing him—kissing any boy—but in that moment, it felt so right.” Alec’s heart flooded with ease at the memory and one tear drop fell over its threshold. Alec quickly reached up to wipe it away; he never allowed himself to cry in front of anyone. “Before that, I never knew that a kiss could feel so comforting. And I’ve had girlfriends before, but I never wanted to kiss them like I kissed Magnus.” He didn’t realize more drops fell until he felt the pads Jace’s fingertips brushing lightly at his cheeks. Alec let him and opted for taking a deep, calming breath.

“When Magnus pulled away,” he whispered and cleared his throat, “I just remember his infectious smile. I grinned and then he kissed me again. After that night, we sort of fell into a pattern: every night before bed, he would kiss me on my bed and we’d smile like we’d just won the Stanley Cup. It wasn’t until about a month later when it became a little more, uh,” he chuckled slightly embarrassed and tried to suppress his smile, “sexual.” His eyes widened and rushed out, “We never, you know, went all the way, and we were never officially together, but it was _us_. We didn’t need to make it official because we were the only ones that needed to know.” He took a deep breath and his smile instantly dropped.

“It was the last week of camp before senior year and parents were able to come to watch our final game against our rival camp. My mom and dad pulled me aside after saying hi to Magnus in our dorm and asked me why he was wearing eyeliner. Back then, unlike now, Magnus only wore makeup when we were alone. He was sure that if any of the other boys knew, they’d hurt him. When my parents came, he was wearing makeup. Neither of us knew that they were going to just show up at our door, but they did completely unannounced. I was supposed to meet them in the lobby, and if I had, this fucking mess wouldn’t have happened,” he rushed out emotionally. He wiped his tear-stained face with the sleeve of his Islanders sweatshirt and took another deep breath. “They asked me why I was okay with a boy wearing girl’s makeup. It terrified me that they would think less of me because I was friends with him. But then it dawned on me that I was not only friends with him, but we kissed a _lot_ and did… other things that normal teenage boys don’t do together. I realized that I didn’t want to do those things with girls. I finally realized after a whole summer that I am gay.” Alec bit his lip and waited for his vision to clear. Drops fell onto his sweatpants, and he quickly wiped his face with the backs of his hands before allowing himself to look at Jace. “It scared me to lose Magnus, but I was young and it terrified me more to lose my family. Jace, what I did— said—to Magnus…” More tears dropped. “I’ve been trying to make up for it for seven years.” His voice cracked and the look on Jace’s face was broken.

“What happened? You can tell me.” Jace rubbed Alec’s back soothingly.

The deep breath Alec took didn’t prepare him well enough for what he was about to say. Nothing ever would. He looked down at his lap and panic choked him. “The next day before I left camp with my family, I stormed into our dorm and I angrily told Magnus that I thought—that I thought he was disgusting for wearing girl’s makeup. I told him that I didn’t appreciate him turning me gay and I never wanted to see him again. I told him not to visit me during the holidays or else I would tell everyone at camp how sickening he was.” Jace gasped. Alec didn’t want to look at him. He couldn’t. His shame was too strong.

“Alec…”

“I know… I’m a horrible person.” He inched Jace’s hand off him for his friends’ sake. Jace probably hated him now. “I’ve been trying to make up since then. I’ve asked Coach to be the You Can Play ambassador. I go to a lot of children events in hopes to help eradicate homophobia amongst our new players and you know I want to create my own LGBTQ project someday. I know nothing can eliminate or come close to how _horribly_ I treated him—continue to treat him. I guess that’s why I never talk to him. I don’t know what I could possibly do to make it up to him. I know a simple sorry won’t work. And don’t try to minimize my actions. People… Some people seriously hurt themselves for what others say to them, especially about their sexuality… I couldn’t help for years— until he was drafted—but wonder if Magnus was even alive.” His voice sounded broken. He _was_ broken. He was broken for Magnus.

“I wasn’t going to say that you’re a horrible person…” Jace lifted his leg onto the bed and sighed. “I’m in no position to judge you, but I’m not going to say that was the best thing you could’ve said to him either. At that time, though, it must’ve been so hard for you to cope with your feelings.”

Alec shook his head. “I never once thought about that. All I feel when I look at him or hear his name, is guilt. That feeling makes me _sick_ to my stomach, Jace.” The rawness in his voice made his stomach churn and tears filled his eyes again.

Jace placed a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have demanded that you tell me…That was something you should’ve done on your own and I took that from you.”

“It’s okay,” Alec replied in a small voice. “It was time you knew. You know everything else about me.”

Jace nodded and took a breath. “Do you want me to tell him for you? He needs to know. He can’t keep guessing what happened. He doesn’t even fully know.”

For the first time that night, Alec felt his body loosen. His reddened eyes were puffy, but his face held a smile. “You want to tell him that when I look at his face it makes me want to throw up? Yes, Jace, I’m sure _that_ will make him feel a hell of a lot better.”

Jace smiled lightly as the tension in the air eased. “Then _you_ tell him. I’m just trying to help you out, bud.”

Alec smiled shyly. “And you are. You’ve just taken a giant weight off my shoulder. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” Jace threw his arms around Alec’s neck and pulled him in close.

“Don’t worry about that right now, buddy.” Alec smiled and wrapped his arms around his friend. “I think I have a way you can get him alone to talk. You know, other than by calling or texting like a normal person to make plans.”

Alec rolled his eyes and pulled away. “Please, don’t make it anything outrageous. I’m a simple man.”

“Pft. Look who you’re talking to!” Jace raised his arms to showcase himself. “I got this, don’t worry.”

“That is specifically why I’m worrying,” Alec laughed.

[][][][][]

Similar to Long Island, Chicago was up north and bordering a body of water so the temperature in October was relatively cold. The United Center, home of the Chicago Blackhawks, was a nice arena, but it didn’t have that comforting feel. None of the away games gave Alec that feeling.

It was times like this when he truly appreciated their fans and the advantage they had while at home.

Their plane landed at 10 pm this morning. Most of the team, like Jace, slept through the ride, and others, like Alec, were awake. But Alec was awake for too many reasons.

Everything that happened last night caused him a major headache. When Meliorn returned to their room wet from the pool, Alec was relieved that he didn’t question anything when he saw Jace and Alec curled next to each other passed out sleeping.

The team didn’t have a chance to stop at the hotel first. By the time they got out of the airport and ate something, it was time to be at the arena.

Now, Alec was pulling on his gear and jersey. Coach Garroway stood in the center of the room and told them last minute pointers to help one up the Blackhawks.

Jace went out to the center after he finished and spoke too. Jace always finished his speeches off with the same line— a line Alec always carried to the ice with him. “This is our moment. We were meant to be here and play the best hockey that we can play.”

Alec tried not to let his sexuality get in the way of how he played, but today, his mind was in a whole different arena. Alec needed to remind himself that his sexuality didn’t define him or his hockey skills.

But that didn’t stop him from feeling paranoid that now that Jace knew, the whole team knew.

Obviously, the whole team didn’t know. Alec was sure they would make more commotion if they did.

Alec shook his head and went out onto the ice for a short pre-game practice.

The Blackhawk arena wasn’t completely sold out, but the majority of seats were filled with more people with red, white and black jersey’s still filing in. Alec saw very few blue and orange jersey’s, but it still comforted him to see them. After five years of being with the Islanders and being on their AHL team, blue and orange were the only soothing colors he could see in the crowd.

After a short break, the team skated back out for the first period of the game. The puck dropped and the Blackhawks won it and immediately skated out into the Islanders zone. Out the corner of his eye, Alec saw Santiago positioning himself better in the net preparing himself for the puck coming his way.

Alec took his spot near the boards and tried to get in front of his Blackhawk counterpart. The puck was sent out to the point and Meliorn poke-checked at him to steal it. It rolled out of the Islanders zone to center ice and Meliorn rushed to get it. The Blackhawk smashed his body against Meliorn’s and tried to put the puck on his stick, but Jace raced to pick it up. He buzzed past Meliorn and Alec knew Jace saw him and Magnus on his sides.

The Blackhawks were on their tails and space between them was decreasing. But the Islanders were quick on their feet. Alec held his stick in front of him with both hands on the neck.

Hockey was a fast paced sport. Players needed to be ready for a turn-over at any second. And they needed to shoot the puck as quickly as they could to the net before the other team could reach them.

But despite that, hockey always moved in slow motion for Alec. Jace released the puck into his direction. It was quick, but Alec was already prepared. He brought his stick slightly off the ice behind him and waited before he swung it down onto the pucks edge. The perfect timing was too quick for Crawford, Chicago’s main goalie.

Alec watched as he tried to sling his body to the right to catch it. He almost had it, but the puck swooshed past under his arm and the light behind Crawford lit up.

Relief fell upon Alec as he was pushed back by Jace’s body. His first goal of the regular season.

Fucking _finally_!

A grin broke out on his face as Magnus reached him and hit him on the back as a good-job. Alec looked up at him skating towards the bench and he wished he had stayed to celebrate. He was brought out of his daydream as Meliorn and Simon came over.  

[][][][][] 

By the end of the third period, the Islanders were up 2-1. Their offense did their best to keep the puck away from the Blackhawks, and when the final buzzer sounded, they all jumped up from the bench and went to the center of the ice.

Alec’s favorite part of playing hockey was the adrenaline. It quickly got his heart pumping. His need to not let his teammates or club down added to the fact that he always tried his best on the ice.

The locker room was steamy when they waddled in—Alec wouldn’t change it for anything else.

“BOOM! That oughta show you not to mess with us!” Simon said as he came in last. Alec smiled at how excited Simon always was after a game, especially when he won the game winning goal. Simon did the walk off interview with Shannon, their intermission and after game reporter, to explain how he was feeling in the moment when he scored.

The players all hollered back and slapped Lewis’ ass as he walked past them to his bag.

Alec, now changed into his suit, walked back through the nearly empty locker room. The only ones left were Jace, Simon, Lee, and Minyard.

When Alec stuffed some clothes back into his bag, Jace bumped his side. “Nice goal tonight.”

Alec smiled up at him almost tiredly. “Thanks. Your pass is what made it happen.”

“I know,” Jace shrugged before grabbing his blue and orange shorts.

Alec scoffed and pushed him on the shoulder. “Dick.”

“Actually, I’m pretty sure my name is Jace. Jonathan, if you want to be punctual.”

Alec rolled his eyes. “Well, whoever you are, thank you. _Finally_ getting a goal helped boost my confidence a bit.”

“Then, I, whoever I may be, welcomes you.”

Alec stood looking at his friend baffled. “Honestly, sometimes you are too much to handle.”

Jace smiled brightly back. “I take that as a complement! Speaking of things that are too much to handle… I have a plan to handle your situation.”

“My situation…Oh!”

Magnus.

He had to talk to Magnus.

Alec’s heart suddenly started beating faster. “When is this happening?”

“Soon,” was all Jace said.

Anxiety arose in Alec’s chest. “How soon is soon? Jace, I don’t know if—”

“Relax, bro. Like I said last night, ‘trust me’. You totally got this.”

“Totally?”

“Totally."

[][][][][]

Alec was the first one in their hotel room that night. It usually happened that way. Jace had to go do his captain duties and hand out hotel keys to the team and Alec always had the first pick for which bed he wanted.

Since they were there only one night, they never unpacked. It was hard to live out of suitcases sometimes, but it was a part of the job Alec loved.

He quickly changed out of his suit and into boxer shorts and an Islanders tee-shirt. If it were anyone other than Jace, he’d wear sweatpants or something that didn’t show his always-ashy, pale knees.

As he was hanging his suit up, he thought about what happened yesterday for the billionth time today. The game helped get his frustrations out, but the emotions still lingered.

Alec reached into his pocket and pulled out three things: his phone, his headphones and his rainbow bracelet. In a way, he was sad that he never put the bracelet on, but his logic was that the material would last longer if it wasn’t worn. So, he chose to hold it tightly in his hand.

With his headphones stuck tightly in his ears, he plugged his phone in and hit shuffle on the music app. The music—Fall Out Boy this time— blocked out any sound that might’ve been able to get in, just the way he liked it.

The upbeat song pounded into his ears and he started swaying against his bed. Before closing his eyes and losing himself to his music, he checked the time—Jace would be up soon, but that didn’t really matter right now.

The guitar solo hit and Alec couldn’t stop himself from playing along. He leaned back slightly to fully get into stroking his fake guitar strings. He bit his bottom lip hard enough to resemble how into the melody he was. The music pulsed through him and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

His solo ended and he allowed himself to open his eyes.

The man who has standing before him with his overnight bag and hotel key was certainly not Jace.

Instead it was Magnus Fucking Bane.

_Well, fuck you too, Jace Herondale_ , Alec thought.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Here's chapter 6 :D
> 
> This one is for Alice! <3
> 
> Just want to mention again that this is not beta read so any mistake is mine! Hopefully you don't find any though. :D 
> 
> Notes: Mentions of depression

 Magnus stood in front of him. Alec immediately ripped his headphones out and said shocked, “Sorry, I thought I was alone.”

Magnus was doe eyed as he stared at Alec from the small hallway leading to the front door. He gave Alec a quick once over before stopping at Alec’s hand by his side. In a panic, Alec quickly brought his right hand behind him and rolled the rainbow bracelet in his hand for comfort. “Clearly…”

“How—How much did you see—”

“All of it.” Magnus looked towards the other bed and set his bag down on it. He pulled out what Alec assumed was his pajamas and undid his suit jacket. “It was all very informative,” he said almost playfully. Alec could have easily thought it was 16-year-old Magnus talking to him.

“I uh… was just.” Magnus nodded in a mockingly, understanding way. “What are you doing in here?” Alec finally asked. He thought he was waiting for Jace.

“Getting ready for bed? Or is that a crime? But if you want to continue with your concert,” he said moving his hands in Alec’s general area, “then be my guest.” He paused to look at Alec. “Just like old times, huh?”

Alec swallowed, quickly got in bed and pulled his phone out the second Magnus disappeared behind the bathroom door.

A: JACE! WHAT. THE. FUCK? *This* was your big plan?!

He impatiently waited for the buzz of his phone. Alec quietly got up and stuffed his bracelet back into his bag for safe keeping.

J: U got this, Bro!! I thought he could catch a break from Lewis for a bit.

A: I hate you so much. I’m disowning you as my best friend. I’ll ask Santiago in the morning if he’d like the position.

J: U can’t disown me more than once in the past month! That goes against the bro code. Santiago would rather b friends with Lewis and u know how Simon gets. I think ur stuck with me.

Smiling, Alec tossed his phone next to him on the bed frustrated. The second he heard the bathroom door open, he scrambled to pick it up again to make it look like he wasn’t deliberately waiting for Magnus to come out of the bathroom.

Magnus didn’t say anything as he grabbed a book from his bag and climbed in bed. He shut off all the main lights and left the side lamp on to read his book.

Alec watched his every move needing to know if his patterns were similar to when they were teenagers back at hockey camp. Once Magnus settled himself into his sheets, Alec yearned to have a goodnight kiss on his bed.

These thoughts surprised him. Since seeing Magnus again, he not once thought of kissing him again or wanting to share a bed anymore.

Alec pushed the thought down to the atmosphere of falling back into old habits.

Alec rubbed his thumb and forefinger together.

An awkward silence grew between them, but Alec knew he had to talk to Magnus. His mind was drawing a blank, however.

“So, this room is too cold.”

Not looking at him, Magnus replied flatly, “So turn the air off.”

Alec sucked in a silent breath and sweat formed on his forehead. He was burning up instead of freezing. His saliva was almost non-existent, but he swallowed anyway.

Alec knew he needed some kind of lead into _this_ conversation, but he was drawing a blank. “Soooo, how have you been?” His voice was hesitant and unsure, just like his mind and heart.

Magnus huffed and put his bookmark in the spot he was reading. He laid it next to him and looked at it instead of Alec. “So now you want to talk? You spent the last month and a half ignoring me, but now you try to small talk me?”

Alec didn’t know what to say. He could feel the shock on his face. How was he supposed to do this? He didn’t know what to say to the man that he thought hated him.

“What, nothing now? Fine by me.” He picked up his book and opened the page to where he stopped. “I just got to the good part anyway.”

Alec swallowed to find his mouth gone completely dry. His anxiety pounded through him and he could feel sweat forming over his body. “I wanted to…” He mumbled the last part.

Magnus shot a dirty look towards him. “What?”

A shiver went through his body from Magnus’ ice-cold glare. “I wanted to say I’m sorry.” Alec wished he had kept his bracelet by his side. “Not—Not just for… all of _that_ —which I’m going to get into in a second— but also for how I treated you since joining the team.”

His gaze was on the blank TV in front of him.

“Look at me when you talk to me,” Magnus demanded. “That’s the only way I’ll know if you’re lying.”

Alec’s heart clenched. He hated that he caused Magnus to feel so dilapidated around him. They were never like that around each other when they were younger, but Alec knew he ruined that the second he gave into his parents’ control.

Alec sat up in his bed and turned towards Magnus. Alec was sure he was going to have a panic attack, but he pushed forward, eyes trying to stay in contact with Magnus’. “You were right when we were filming the endorsement video for You Can Play. I _was_ scared of realizing I’m gay. But there was more to it then.”

Alec brought his hand up to rub his eye and took a breath. He was letting Magnus see a raw side of him—it wasn’t the first time.

“I’m listening.” Magnus’ voice wasn’t angry anymore, but it wasn’t soft either.

Alec’s head was a mess. There were so many things he could finally say to Magnus that he _dreamed_ of telling him, but he had no clue where to even start.

Just when he thought Magnus was about to pick up his book again, his mouth opened. “My family… you know how much I love my family. I would do anything for them: my siblings, my parents. Magnus, I—” His name weighed heavily on his tongue. “My parents pulled me aside after they said hi to you that last day of camp and asked why you were wearing makeup and why I was okay with a boy wearing makeup. And me, being the cowardly person I am, thought they would hate me if I were still your friend. Not just that though,” Alec pushed on. “I realized not long before that, that I would never love a girl like they would want me to. I thought if I didn’t see you anymore, I could magically be straight.”

Alec watched as Magnus tore his eyes away from his. “So, you’re telling me that we’re not friends anymore because of your parents’ bigoted views?”

“I know it’s not much of an excuse, but I was 16. I depended on them. They’re my family; their views of me meant _everything_ to me. My whole life happened the way it did because of them— _for_ them, Magnus. I want them proud of me and I thought they would hate me. I thought they would eventually hate _you_ because you ‘turned’ me this way. I couldn’t handle that… I wanted so badly to go home to you. During the summer, I mean…” Magnus brought his eyes back up. Alec searched them with his. He could see his eyes glossing over with tears. “You mean—” he sighed, “meant—so much to me.”

“If I _meant_ so much to you, then you would have _talked_ to me about this.” Anger was bubbling inside Magnus, Alec could tell. “I mean, for God sake, Alec, whether we you acknowledge it or not, we were together then. And for _years_ after that _,_ I wasn’t sure if you actually meant those words you said to me that last day or not. Alec, you broke me. I wasn’t in a good place for a while. And seeing you again after all this time, talking to you about it, is bringing up some of those feelings again. The bad ones.” Magnus quickly looked down and Alec saw a tear drop onto the white blanket. Alec felt a hot tear slide down his cheek. Still looking down, Magnus said softly, “I tried for so long to get over it. Over you. I wanted so _badly_ to hate you.” He looked up into Alec’s eyes. “I wish I could hate you.”

“You should.”

“I _can’t_. You mean too much to me. You always have.”

Mean.

 _Mean_.

 _Present_.

Alec’s heart almost burst with happiness and relief. Then Magnus spoke again.

“But I need time to process this. I can’t… do this with you— be friends. Like I said at practice, we don’t have to be friends, we just have to play well together. I just need some distance.”

Not only did Alec’s heart feel heavy, but his whole body did. He was sure Magnus could see him visibly sink lower into the bed.

Pushing to say something, a little whimper escaped Alec’s throat. Instead, he nodded and tried to breathe.

“I won’t allow my heart to break again,” Magnus said as if he needed to back up his feelings. “You walked away. Not me. So, this part should be easy for you.”

“It’s—” _not._ _It’s fucking not_ easy _, Magnus. It never has been._

Instead, Alec nodded looking down at his hands and a shiver rolled through his body. He suddenly felt the need to sob. But he wouldn’t dare do it in front of Magnus. He felt the heartbreak knocking at his chest as he did seven years ago and every day in between. He wondered if Magnus felt the same. Worse, he wondered if Magnus saw it on his face and _didn’t_ feel the same.

Alec wasn’t sure what he thought the outcome of telling Magnus would be, but it wasn’t this.

God, no. Alec prayed it would’ve been better. But then again, he should’ve seen it coming.

“Goodnight, Alec.” Magnus slid his book onto the bedside table, laid down and flipped the light off.

Alec couldn’t help but sit in the darkness with silent tears rolling down his face.

[][][][][]

“Well, you’re still alive,” Jace said first thing to Alec in the morning.

“Am I? I barely slept at all,” he mumbled. Alec didn’t move last night in fear that Magnus would hear him. He knew it was silly, but his anxiety wouldn’t let up. He thought if Magnus heard him at all or woke up from him, he’d crumble into dust.

“Didn’t go well?” Jace asked, carrying his bag down the hall to the elevator.

Alec sighed and bit the inside of his lip. “He told me didn’t hate me.”

“I knew it!” Jace grinned. “See! Now you can start down the friendship road again, huh!”

Alec felt delirious as he smiled back. “Oh yeah, maybe. You know, if he didn’t tell me he didn’t want  to be my friend again.”

Jace pressed the down button on the elevator and turned towards his friend, mouth dropped into a frown. “He did what?”

Alec shrugged. “Should’ve expected it, I guess. Bad night. It was just hard.”

“Bro, I don’t need to know about Little Alec. I want to know about Big Alec. Are you okay?”

The elevator dinged and they both walked in, bags in hand. “First,” he said defensively. “Little Alec _is_ Big Alec. Secondly, no. Not really. He and all his stuff were gone when I woke up and you know I wake up earlier than I need to. It just felt like we took a small step closer and 100 steps backwards.”

Jace sighed and rested his head on Alec’s shoulder in silent support. “I hate to ask, but you know I have to. Is this going to negatively impact how either of you play on ice?”

“No.”

The lobby was packed with the Islander’s staff, coaches and some players. They were bustling about trying to make sure everyone had their passes for their flight home. Alec reached into his bag and quickly showed Ashleigh, a member of their staff, his pass and dropped his suitcase in a pile of other bags. Someone always brought them out to their busses for them.

He and Jace walked into the small dining area the hotel had, and found a little under half the team sitting and chatting while munching on muffins or whatever they decided to eat.

Alec spotted Magnus instantly who was sitting silently in front of Santiago. He was staring off into space; kind of like how Alec felt.

Jace nudged him and pulled him over to the breakfast line. There were other people there who were staying in the hotel in front of them. Alec and Jace fell in line behind them and picked up a plate. They quietly went through the line and found a table with Lee and Simon. 

“I’m excited to finally sleep in my bed again. It feels like it has been months.”

“Missed your stuffed Chewbacca too much, Si?” Jace and Alec set their plates on the table.

Simon looked up at them. “Very funny.”

“I am extra excited to go back home,” Lee intercepted. After three heads were turned his way silently questioning him, he replied, “If I’m gone for more than one night, my wife claims that she misses me too much. Then, we pretty much spend the whole day in bed.”

“That,” Jace said pointing at Lee, “sounds incredible.”

“Oh,” Lee smirked. “It is.”

“Aaaand now you’ve just reminded me of how lonely I am,” Simon said. “Right guys?” He looked over to Jace and Alec.

Alec shrugged and stuffed a piece of his pancake into his mouth not wanting to get into his relationship mess, but Jace smirked and leaned in closer to Simon, therefore making everyone else lean in.

“Gentlemen, I am currently in the process of acquiring a girlfriend.”

Lee crinkled his face. “‘In the process’? ‘Acquiring’? You sound like you’re filling out a job application but for women,” he chuckled just as Jace pulled a cookie off Alec’s plate. “A girlplication.”

“That was terrible,” Simon laughed.

“Hey, I was going to eat that, jerk.” Jace shrugged and Alec smiled and rolled his eyes. “Jace, who is she this time? You have a new girl every other month. I suppose,” he said looking at his phone for the date, “you’re due for a new one.”

“Stooop,” Jace smiled. “I really like her. I click with her really well and she doesn’t put up with my shit. You all know I love challenges.”

“Wow.” Alec leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest relaxing for the first time since last night when he listened to his music. “Okay, what’s her name? Where’d you meet?”

Simon pushed his plate away just as Jace was putting his coffee cup back on the table. He shook his head. “Not telling her name. And we met at a party.”

“Ooo! No name?” Simon grinned. “You know what that means, boys? We know her.”

“I didn’t say that!” A few heads from other tables turned their way and Jace lowered his voice. “I didn’t say that, Lewis.”

Simon’s grin grew bigger as did Lee’s and Alec’s. “You didn’t have to, buddy. It’s in your eyes. Eyes don’t lie!”

“Okay, they met at a party, we know her and she gives Golden Boy a run for his money. Know anyone like that?”  Lee pushed a lazy hand through his brown hair.

Alec took a moment to think. Then something clicked in him. “Jace, I swear to God if you’re talking about my sister I will—”

Jace’s eyes widen. “Jesus! Alec, no.” He put his hands out in between himself and Alec as if to protect himself. “You’ve got that all wrong. I think of Izzy the same as I do you, family. _That_ would just be creepy. Come on, dude. You know me better than that.”

Alec visibly relaxed but didn’t take his eyes off Jace. “Then I’m all out of options. Unless you mean Ashleigh. Didn’t she end up at a party of ours or something?”

“I don’t know. Isn’t she married with a kid?” Simon asked.

Alec shrugged and picked up his fork again, his pancakes almost cold now. “That doesn’t mean much these days. Oh wait,” Lee said. “Or do you mean Ashley? The _other_ Ashley?”

Alec paused to think but was interrupted by Jace’s voice. “Don’t waste your breath, guys. It’s no one we work with. Think of how awkward that would be if I were traded.”

Lee, Simon and Alec scoffed and rolled their eyes. “Puh-lease, Jace,” Alec said glaring at his friend. “If that happens, it won’t be for _years_. You’re the Islanders captain; they won’t trade you. And besides, even if it _was_ a girl we work with, you’d already be onto the next girl.” He shrugged and watched as Simon and Lee laughed quietly.

“Asshole.” There was no malice in Jace’s voice and Alec grinned at him.

Alec’s smile fell away as soon as he spotted Magnus coming their way. His chest grew tight, but he didn’t look away.

Magnus didn’t look at him, and Alec realized that he wasn’t walking towards them, but the door that was behind Alec.

He relaxed back into his chair and avoided the watchful eyes of his friends.

[][][][][]

Max flopped onto Alec’s white loveseat sofa and slung his legs over the armrest facing the TV. Bag of chips and remote in hand, he turned the TV on and flipped it to ABC.

“You could share those, you know. We could put them in a bag like civilized humans,” Alec said to his brother.

“What, these?” Max asked challengingly as he grabbed a handful of chips and stuffed them into his open mouth.

“Disgusting, Maxie.” Izzy walked into the living room with a soft smile and her glass cup in hand.

Max’s jaw dropped and he immediately pouted. “Why does she get to drink soda? I’m 16, I should be allowed to drink it at night.”

“Nuh uh,” Izzy started as she sat on the couch beside Alec. “I promised mom I would drop you off at school before going to the office. You know you can never sleep—soda doesn’t help.”

Alec sat back and tossed his feet onto the coffee table watching his siblings. It was one of his favorite things to do. “Then why do you do it? You have to get up early too.”

“Because whenever my head hits the pillow, I fall asleep,” she shrugged.

Max huffed. “Fine. I’ll just drink my nasty water then.” He picked up his cup from the side table, drank it and pretended to choke on it.

Alec chuckled as he watched his brother. “Pretending wont magically make coke appear in your cup you know,” he called out. “And be quiet, you two. The Bachelorette is starting.” Alec caught Max sticking his tongue out at him before turning towards the TV.

Halfway through the episode during a commercial break, Izzy tapped Alec on the shoulder.

When Alec looked over, she mouthed something to him with a quick glance to Max, but he couldn’t read her lips properly.

_Why apple oo oo and Max?_

He squinted and tried to read again when she mouthed them. When he came up with the same conclusion as the first, he leaned in towards her and whispered a hushed, “What the hell are you saying?”

He could feel her rolling her eyes. “I saaaid, ‘What happened to you and Magnus?’ I didn’t have a chance to ask you after the party and then you went away. I figured you’d at least tell your teammates you know each other. But then after his story… I knew that definitely wasn’t the case.”

Isabelle seemed to _love_ getting into his business.

Alec sighed. “Long story.” He looked over at Max to make sure he wasn’t paying attention. He loved his brother, but if he knew about Alec and Magnus’ past, he would have a field day. “I’ve been kind of ignoring him since he was transferred.”

“What?” She said it a bit too loud and Max looked over uninterested before turning back to his phone, pillow behind his head.

Alec stood up and went to the kitchen with his cup. He knew Izzy was right on his heels. She sat on one of the counter top stools and he began his story. He never told her what really happened between Magnus and himself, she just knew that they didn’t see each other anymore. Izzy had figured that since they were on a team together now, they would talk again.

The topic never came up, so Izzy never asked. And by the time Alec told her he was gay, Magnus had been long out of his life.

“Guys!” Max’s voice rang out. “It’s back on!”

“We’re coming,” Alec called back.

Izzy’s eyes hadn’t left his face. “So, he doesn’t want to talk to you?” Alec shook his head. “It’s understandable.” Alec sighed and refilled his milk cup.

“You’re supposed to be _helping_ me. You’re _my_ sister not his,” Alec groaned. “You’re the relationship master, are you not?”

Izzy shrugged, her black sweater falling off her left shoulder. She grabbed it and pulled it back up. “You said he wanted some distance, right? I guess you could try talking to him like a friend, but don’t push him. He needs his time.”

Alec nodded. “I can try that.” After a moment, he spoke again. “I heart feels so much lighter now that I told him. The wall that I had up is crumbling. I just hope his starts to crumble too. I’d like to be his friend again. He was the best guy to have as a friend.” Alec smiled lightly and his heart fluttered ever so slightly.

“Don’t tell Jace that! God knows what he’d do to try and regain that number one spot.” She stood and pushed her seat back under the counter. She walked over to Alec and wrapped her arms around him. “Thank you for telling me.”

His smile grew and his left hand—the one that wasn’t holding his cup—flew around her back. “And thank you for trying to help me.”

“And now you get to help me!” she said pulling back from him.

“GUYS! Rachel is about to hand out a rose!”

Suspiciously, Alec crinkled his eyes. “What am I helping you with exactly?”

“You, my favorite older brother, are going to give me Simon Lewis’ number!”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Friday! Which means a new chapter is up today! 
> 
> Thanks for all the continued support! Love you all! I follow the tag #FtLotG on Twitter! Also, check on my account Tuesday or Wednesday for a sneak peek for the next chapter!
> 
> Until next Friday, my friends.

Honestly, Alec saw this man enough during the week to need a break from him on his day off. But that didn’t stop him from entering the elevator to go up one floor. Nor did it stop him from knocking lightly on Jace’s door.

They had a game tomorrow at home against Toronto, but Alec wouldn’t have minded a road trip into Canada to cure his boredom.

Jace smiled when he opened the door and leaned on the door frame. “Hey, man, what’s up?”

Alec shrugged and looked around the hallway. “Bored. Thought I’d see what you’re doing.”

Jace bit his lip. “Now’s actually not a good time. Someone’s over,” he whispered, door still hugging his body. Nodding, Alec tried to peer inside. “But come back in 5 to 10 minutes.”

“It’s your girlfriend, isn’t it?”

Jace chuckled and looked down for a moment. “She’s not my girlfriend… yet. But the more I stand here with you, the worse it is for me.”

“Right! Go. Let me know when it’s safe to come back.” Jace nodded, wiggled his eyebrows and closed the door.

One thing Alec knew, he wasn’t going back to his apartment.

The café across the street was one of Alec’s favorites. It wasn’t a chain like Starbucks, but a little family-owned shop. The owners and workers all knew Alec by name now just from walking in so much. They weren’t huge hockey fans, but Alec turned them onto his sport.

When Alec walked into Arrow’s, the bell over the door chimed.

Ray looked up from behind the counter towards the door and grinned. “Alec! Good t’ see you! How’ve you been?”

“Good! Busy.” He smiled at the owner and walked up to the counter.

“Don’t I know it! You want your regular?” Ray asked, setting down the tongs he was using to rearrange some pastries.

Alec nodded. “Yes please. How have you been? Family’s good?” Alec pulled some napkins out of the holder and grabbed a ‘Caution! Hot Coffee Cup!’ holder to slide his cup into.

“Yeah,” Ray drawled. “Saw a clip of your last game. Nice goal!” He poured a hot cup of coffee into a to-go cup and splashed a bit of milk in for Alec.

“Oh, thanks. It felt good,” he smiled. Ray laid a bear claw pastry on the counter next to his coffee cup.

Alec took his wallet out and grabbed a ten-dollar bill. “That’ll be $6.53.”  

Alec handed him the money and told him to keep the change. He had plenty of it for himself.

“This is why you’re my favorite customer,” Ray said to him. Alec chuckled and picked up his coffee and bear claw and walked over to the table by the window. It had a great view of his building and of the park next to it.

Alec lived in this building since his second year of playing with the Islanders. Long Island, where their arena was located, wasn’t too long of a drive for him thankfully. When they recruited Jace the year after, Alec almost begged him to buy an apartment in his building.

Max was almost 12 when Alec moved in so he claimed he was too big for the playground, but that didn’t stop 23-year-old Alec from taking walks through it. It was peaceful when there weren’t too many kids. Alec loved his fans, but sometimes when it’s too crowded, people come up and ask for pictures. He doesn’t really mind it—he always takes the picture—but sometimes he just wanted to be alone.

Alec looked at his building. The doorman opened the door and a little red head stepped out. He wondered if people-watching was too weird.

_Buzz!_

Alec pulled out his phone and looked at his message.

_She’s gonee. U can come now._

Alec sent a quick _Be there soon_ and ordered a coffee and pastry for Jace.

Just as Alec knocked on Jace’s door with his foot—his hands were too full!—something dawned in him.

The door swung open and an ecstatic, red-faced Jace Herondale was on the other side.

Smug, Alec said, “You look like you just got lucky.” He shoved the hot coffee in Jace’s direction and walked inside.

“Not lucky. Not yet. But she and I are official! Finally…” He took the cup from Alec’s hands and his jaw dropped. “You went to Arrow’s? _Please_ tell me you got me a cinnamon bun too.”

Alec’s mustered up the most offended face he could. “How dare you think that I didn’t! I almost don’t want to give it to you now.”

Jace pouted. “Don’t be a dick. Pleaseeeeee?” Jace flashed Alec his best puppy dog eyes.

“Jerk.” He held his hand out with the bun to Jace who greedily took it and bit into it.

Jace moaned and his eyes fluttered. With his mouth full, he said, “This is like heaven in my hand and mouth.”

“Swallow. Don’t choke. We need you tomorrow.” Alec set his coffee on the table in front of the couch and sat down.

“Nothing can stop me from being there, don’t worry.”

Alec hummed and sipped the last of his coffee as Jace sat down. “And your mystery girl? She going too?”

“Mmhmm.” Jace swallowed. “She goes to a lot of our home games.”

Alec chuckled. “I’m just trying to figure out if she’s going for _you_ or for _Simon_.”

Jace choked on his coffee. “W-Why would she go for _him_?”

“Oh, you know, Clary’s his best friend, right? Or so they said when we met her four weeks ago at _your_ party. _That_ and we all know her now.” Alec smiled, satisfied with himself as he thought back to the conversation at breakfast the other day. He grinned bigger at Jace’s shocked face.

“Dude, how’d you find out? I thought I was careful!” His eyes widened. “Just don’t tell Lewis. She wants to do it.”

Alec held his hands up defensively. “Not my place to tell. And did you know Arrow’s has a huge, lovely window that stares right at the building? It’s very convenient sometimes.” The edges of his mouth curled up unconsciously into a smirk and Jace groaned. “I figured you would’ve at least told me.”

“Hey! You don’t get to talk. Don’t forget it took me a month and a half to scrape the truth from you.” Jace stuffed the rest of his bear claw into his mouth and washed it down with his coffee. “You’re lucky I’m not going into the past three years!”

“Touché.” Alec relaxed into Jace’s brown couch after tossing the throw pillows to the love seat perpendicular to the one he was on. He kept a blue pillow for himself and set it on his lap. “So, I’ve been thinking today. It’s scary to think we only met three years ago.”

Jace finished off his coffee and set it on the table before crossing his legs on top. “Technically four now. New season, remember?”

Alec raised an eyebrow at his friend. “ _Technically_ , it won’t be four years until the season is over.” 

Jace languidly moved his hand around in the air. “I’ve never been one for statistics—other than hockey, of course.” Alec rolled his eyes. “I’m still surprised you told me you were gay just after a year of knowing me.”

Alec took a minute to think about that. Not once in his life did he feel comfortable enough to tell anyone new in his life that he’s gay. He’d known for seven years and he had only managed to tell three people. Okay, technically four including Magnus. “We just clicked, you know? After a few months, I knew I could trust you.”

Alec could see his captain smile out of the corner of his eye. Jace looked his way so Alec looked at him. “Did you ever have a crush on me?”

Alec’s eyebrows raised and he laughed trying to disguise the fact that he was choking on air. “Why does every straight guy think every gay guy has a crush on them?” Jace shrugged. “Since the whole Magnus thing, I’ve made a point to myself to not ever fall for my teammates.”

“So?” Alec looked at him confused. “That wasn’t a no.” Jace poked Alec’s side with his finger.

“Well, that wasn’t a yes!”

Rolling his eyes, Jace pulled his legs underneath his body like a teenage girl. “You did! You had a crush on me!”

“Scouts honor,” Alec said holding his hand up,” I didn’t.”

Jace scoffed and pushed his hand down. “You asshole. You weren’t a scout. Stop pretending.”

“Fine,” Alec smiled. “I will tell you again, though, that I didn’t have a crush on you. I can appreciate the beauty of a man, but my heart is never in it. I guess I’ve trained myself well over the years.”

Alec could feel that he sucked the liveliness out of the room. His suspicions were confirmed when Jace sighed.

After a minute of thinking, Jace said, “You can come out and be the NHL’s first _gay_ player. So far everything for Magnus has been good since he came out. It can be for your too. And it’s also given a positive rep to our team for being diverse.”

Alec’s heart hurt. “He’s also gotten hate for it. I’ve paid attention to social media since he came out—for my own resons— and,” Alec shrugged, “it’s scary. Some people don’t want him to play in the NHL anymore, did you know that? He’s possibly the best right winger in the league right now and people don’t want him to even play. He’s not even gay! He still likes women and has a chance to find a girl and settle down with her. I don’t have that luxury.”

“Are you scared to fall in love?”

“Terrified,” Alec whispered clutching the pillow in his lap. 

Jace turned towards him and Alec wondered how every conversation these days ended up with his love life mixed in somewhere. “You don’t have to be. You _shouldn’t_ have to be. Fuck everyone who’s not present in the twenty-first century and allow yourself to be happy. Like, _really_ happy. If not with Magnus, then some other guy. I know he’s out there for you.”

Smiling lightly, Alec looked over at Jace. “You sound like my sister.”

“Just don’t ask me to wear red lipstick. I don’t think it goes well with my complexion.”

[][][][][]

The November weather was harsh. Nothing like January, but it was getting there.

A week passed since Alec and Magnus shared a room. Two months since Magnus was traded.

During their three games in the past week, Alec and Magnus didn’t talk once. Dread filled Alec—fear that he would never have a friendship with Magnus again, that he wouldn’t have _any_ relationship with him, romantic or not.

Alec looked over at him as he set his bag on the bench. Alec didn’t notice when Jace slid next to him.

“Bro, what did I tell you? Just talk to him.”

“I tried that, remember? Didn’t work out.”

“But now he’s had time to process everything.” Alec glanced over at Magnus changing. Magnus took off his white, buttoned-down shirt and hung it up. Alec was drawn to Magnus’ body—his abs more precisely. He certainly didn’t have _that_ when they were younger. His body was definitely better than when they were kids. Alec raked his eyes down his body to his ass when Magnus turned around, and Alec couldn’t help but sigh. He could feel Jace’s eyes on him, but he couldn’t help the fact that Magnus’ boxers fit him so _incredibly_ well.

“Dude,” Jace whispered and beat his hand on Alec’s chest. It was just enough to bring Alec back to the real world. “If you don’t want people knowing your gay, then don’t stare at guys’ asses in the locker room while biting your lip.”

Alec quickly spoke quietly back, “I was _not_ biting my lip.”

“You were.”

“Were not.”

“You _were_.”

Did he really, though? He didn’t remember…

“Were not,” he said one last time in hopes to defend his pride. Alec shook his head and reached inside his gear bag for an undershirt. Instead, he made a quick detour and reached into a little pocket. He ran his fingers over his hidden bracelet. He watched as the rainbow colors disappeared underneath his finger and reappeared on the other side of it. It fascinated him how something so small could make him feel so energized.

Alec looked up again at Magnus. His brown eyes met Magnus’ brown/yellow one’s.

Magnus’ shocked expression held his for a couple seconds at most before quickly looking away, busying himself with his shoulder pads.

Alec sighed again and let go of his bracelet.

[][][][][]

The team skated onto the ice a half hour before puck drop. They stayed on their side as Toronto practiced on the guest side.

Alec heard the crowd cheering as they came out. He loved when their fans clapped and hollered for them; it encouraged each and every player to do their best. They were always there when they needed encouragement.

Santiago sat in net while the Islanders lined up to shoot practice pucks at him. One by one they shot at him, some pucks going in, some being stopped. He didn’t want to waste all his energy on practice, so Raph didn’t do any crazy dives like he hoped he didn’t have to do tonight.

Alec stood behind Jace who went out of line and tossed a black Islanders puck to a child behind the glass. That’s what Alec—most people—loved about Jace. He may act like a self-centered weirdo sometimes, but he was truly caring. It’s what landed him the rank of Captain last season, his second year in the NHL.

Just as Jace skated back in front of him, Alec heard it. It never played while they were out there, but he guessed there was a first for everything.

“Islanders fans, You Can Play ensures the safety and inclusion of all players, fans and coaches regardless of sexual orientation and gender.” Alec’s voice rang out over the loud speakers and he could feel the heaviness in his voice. He wondered if anyone else could tell that he’s living with a lie as a truth.

He glanced up at the big screen hanging in the middle of the arena. He and Magnus sat side by side awkwardly. He hoped that their fans would just see their awkwardness of not being actors, but Alec could remember that whole day. It started off well, but then it hastily took a turn for the worst when he saw Magnus walk through those doors.

“We think that the sport should focus on the player’s ability, skill and worth ethic, not sexual orientation or gender identity.” Alec skated up in line as he listened to Magnus’ voice.

After Magnus’ second line, Alec sighed. It was one thing to be sitting next to each other, but _seeing_ himself sit next to Magnus was a whole other picture.

“Join us,” said the voice on the screen after their ad, “this Thursday as the New York Islanders host our annual You Can Play Project for young children and adults of all ages. Join Alec Lightwood and Magnus Bane as they continue to encourage the LGBTQ community at our great home.”

Alec’s head whipped up towards the screen. He quickly read the words before it clicked off onto a new ad.

“Lightwood, move up,” Meliorn said from behind him. Alec took a step forward unconsciously.

Shit.

 _Shit_.

He completely forgot about the project this week. And by looking at Magnus’ straightened back, he forgot too. He was just in front of Jace and didn’t look back. Alec remembered getting the memo, but he pushed it aside until he would need it again. Clearly, he forgot.

 _Jace_.

Alec waited until after he took his shot and went to the back of the line to whisper panickedly into Jace’s ear. “Are you going to that? _Please_ tell me you’re going to the event on Thursday.”

Fuck, that was in two days.

Jace shrugged in front of him and turned his head slightly to Alec. “Yeah,” he shrugged. “I’m the captain, I should probably be there.”

Alec sighed in relief but his anxiety didn’t cool down. Now that he and Magnus finally talked, it was harder to ignore each other—not that Alec wanted to ignore Magnus anymore, he was just respecting Magnus’ wishes.

But Alec had his own wishes. He wanted Magnus to be his friend again. Jace is an incredible friend, but there’s nothing like that one person you knew from when you were children. There’s not a day that goes by where Alec doesn’t think of how horribly he screwed up.

There were so many times when he was younger when he picked up the phone and dialed Magnus’ number only to realize that they weren’t friends anymore. Those were the nights where 16-year-old Alec cried himself to sleep.

But now, he just wanted some sort of companionship between them. He knew nothing would ever be the same as when they were young and in camp, but just to talk to him—to be able to look at him without wanting to curl in on himself—was all Alec wanted.

[][][][][]

The game ended 4-2 in the Toronto Maple Leafs favor against the Islanders.

The boys trudged back to their locker room in defeat. Coach had pointers for them, but that would wait until they next saw each other.

Alec sat on the bench in front of his locker and started to undo his skates. He always double-knotted them—you could never be too safe while on ice.

It was always a relief when he took his skates off. As much as he loved skating and his sport, these shoes left blisters on him, even when they were broken into. He always carried bandages and antibacterial cream just for moments like these.

He stripped down to his boxers and headed for the shower. He wasn’t self-conscious about his body, but when he felt eyes coming from Magnus’ direction, he wanted to either sprint away towards the showers, or sprint towards Magnus. He wasn’t sure why that scared him so much.

When he was done, he found his way back to his locker and rubbed his egg-white towel on his head.

“Lightwood,” an assistant coach said from the main door, “you have a guest waiting outside for you.”

Izzy. She had been at the game tonight in the club’s booth where family members of players could go if they choose. Even though they lost tonight, his goal was for her.

Alec quickly tossed on his suit after his shower and put band aids on his new blisters. When he went out through the doors, he found her sitting on one of the benches.

“I don’t understand why I can’t just come in,” she joked, standing up now.

Alec scoffed with a smile. “You know very well why you can’t go in. You’d be ogling everyone.”

She made a face and corrected him. “Just one person,” she shrugged. She leaned forward to give Alec a hug. “And how is that any different than you, big brother?”

 Alec shushed her quickly. “It _is_ different. I have to go get my bag, then we can go,” he said changing the subject. “I’ll be right back.” Without glancing back to his sister, he quickly dashed back into the locker room where half the players were still changing.

He grabbed his bag and did a double check to make sure he still had everything.

He looked over to Magnus’ locker to see him buttoning up his shirt. Magnus must’ve felt his stare, because he looked briefly at Alec, his brown eyes nervous. Alec pulled his eyes away and exited the room.

He didn’t make it much farther, though, because Isabelle wasn’t alone. Simon was with her and was talking a bit too close for Alec’s taste.

But he knew his sister liked his teammate so he stayed by the door.

Alec didn’t know much about them and their relationship—or whatever it was— but Alec gave her Simon’s number a week ago because even when he said no the first ten times, Izzy was demanding. All he knew was that they texted a lot.

Alec watched on as Simon’s smile grew when Izzy replied to him. He gently leaned down and kissed her cheek. If it weren’t his sister, Alec would’ve turned away from the intimate moment.

When Alec’s big brother vibes officially kicked in, he couldn’t stop his feet from moving closer to them.

Simon didn’t notice him until Alec was literally standing at his side. When Simon finally looked his way, his eyes widened and he jumped away from Isabelle.

“What are we talking about?” he asked cheerfully.

Isabelle glared at him. “Nothing of your concern, big bro.” She turned to Simon with a soft, apologetic smile. “I’ll call you okay?” He nodded and returned to the locker room faster than he normally would.

“You don’t have to go all Big Brother on every guy I’m with,” Izzy said as they started walking to the exit.

“Of course I do. At least until I know their intentions.” He slung his bag over his shoulder and bumped hips with his sister to lighten the mood. “Now, I’m going to pretend to be you and pester you about what you were _really_ talking about.”

Izzy shrugged shyly and smiled. “He’s dorky; it’s kinda cute.”

“At least you know what Star Wars is. He’ll probably quiz you on your knowledge,” he laughed. “Just don’t mention Star Trek. I’ve made that move before, and it was the wrong one. You didn’t answer my question.”

Izzy shrugged again as they neared closer to the door. “He asked me out on a date. Our _first_ date. It’ll be next week when you get back from your away game. I’m nervous.”

Alec rolled his eyes. “You have nothing to be nervous about. You’re, like, waaaay out of his league.” Izzy laughed and punched his shoulder lightly. “But really, just wear his favorite band’s tee-shirt and you’ll win him over 100 percent. It’s Panda something… or something Panda,” he said as they walked out of the arena.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo!!! 
> 
> I really hope you all like this chapter! It's one of my favorites! It's also the longest chapter yet! Check out YouCanPlayproject.org
> 
> Thanks for all the great comments and tweets <3 I really appreciate you all and I'm so glad you like it so far. Be sure to check on my Twitter on Tuesday or Wednesday for a sneak peek into chapter 9! Also, I track #FtLotG on Twitter.
> 
> Until next Friday, Lovelies!

“Very funny, Ass-lec. Ha ha.” Jace scowled. “Don’t make me dump your coffee out,” he said from the passenger seat as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“You wouldn’t _dare_. And on our You Can Play day. You know I’m freaking out about it. Also, did you call me Ass-lick? Because don’t mind if I do,” he joked as he wiggled his tongue around.

The Islanders were holding their event today for LGBTQ kids and adults, and Alec, being a You Can Play ambassador, had to go. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, but every year when this event rolled around, he would be extra paranoid that everyone was staring at him and saw through his fake-straight facade.

This year was even worse.

This time, Magnus would be there too. Being a co-ambassador, he was also required to be there. All eyes would be on the both of them: one bisexual and one faux-straight man. Alec couldn’t help but feel eyes on him.

“That,” Jace said pointedly, “is something I didn’t need to ever hear out of your mouth.” Alec had to laugh. He loved the feeling of being able to be free around Jace. “And you won’t even realize Magnus is there. We’ll be in our own groups most of the day. But seriously, if you say a _word_ to Lewis about Clary and I, I swear I will do more than dump your coffee. I’ll… I’ll eat your bear claw too! But next time, ‘cause you already ate yours today.”

Alec slid his player ID card into the slot at the arena to park his car. The yellow stopper in front of the car lifted up and Alec drove through. “Such a big threat,” he mocked. “But you know I wouldn’t do that. I was joking.”

“The one time you joke, it’s not funny.”

“Hey! I joke plenty.”

Jace rolled his eyes with a smile and stepped out of the car once Alec parked. A great thing about being a player, they had a parking spot right in front of the player’s entrance. It was convenient for the winter, especially when snow started to fall.

Even though no one participating in the event wouldn’t be showing up for another hour, Alec was itching to get into his gear and shoot some pucks. Alec loved the feeling of pride he got when his puck landed in the back of the net. Unfortunately for him, he couldn’t change out yet. He and Magnus would be whisked away any moment now for an interview.

The locker room was pretty much empty—minus Magnus, Simon and Raphael who were chatting quietly near Magnus’ locker— when he and Jace walked in. They glanced up to see who entered and turned back to their conversation. Simon nodded once in their direction as a hello.

Alec dropped his bag onto the bench and looked at his jersey hanging proudly in its designated spot. Unlike himself, Jace began changing out into his for an hour of extra practice.

Alec was very vigilant when it came to the rainbow. It’s like he could sense it when it was around him. He spotted the rainbow tape almost instantly by Simon’s bag.

Alec grabbed the stick he was going to use today and sneakily snagged the rainbow duct tape from Simon’s bag when he wasn’t looking and wrapped the foot of the stick with the tape. The colors beamed back at him when he was done.

Alec was tempted to grab his rainbow bracelet from his bag to ask Jace to tie it around his wrist. Almost. Today was the one day where he wouldn’t be judged while wearing it. It was probably encouraged, but Alec didn’t want to draw more attention to himself. He mentally and emotionally couldn’t.

By the time Alec was ready to bring the tape back to Simon’s bag, Simon was back by his spot searching his things.

Alec timidly walked over and held out the tape. “Sorry, I took this.”

Simon looked up at the tape, then at Alec. “Oh, no worries.” Simon grabbed the tape and sat on the bench to wrap his stick.

Just as Alec was going to turn away, Simon said, “Sit for a sec.”

Alec wasn’t sure if it was a question or not, but he sat next to Simon anyway. “What’s up?”

The defenseman started wrapping the handle of his stick. Cautiously, looking down, he said, “I’m sure she told you, but I’m taking Isabelle out for our first date next week.”

Alec was stunned for a moment as the big brother in him started surfacing. “Oh, she told me.”

Simon flipped his stick and wrapped the foot of it. Still not looking at Alec, he swallowed. “I really like her. I promise I’ll do my best to make her happy if she’ll have me. I won’t do anything to hurt her.”

“You better not.”

“Promise,” he replied.

Simon set the tape down and gently rested his taped stick on the locker. He finally faced Alec and Alec spoke. “My sister can handle herself. Believe it or not, she’s a red belt in Karate—currently working on a black belt— so I’m not too worried about her, but if she says to me that you did anything, _anything_ —”

Simon looked him right in the eyes nervously. “You won’t. Hear anything, that is. And I—a _red_ belt? That’s so cool, that’s hot, actually.”

Alec turned his head so it was directly facing Simon and glared, eyes squinting. “Don’t,” he said warningly. He saw Simon physically swallow and shrink back. Alec knew he might be a little too protective. But this was his sister.

Simon couldn’t meet his eyes and Alec felt kind of good about that. “I—I just mean that it’s good to know. For her. Defense. I’m defense. In hockey. And you know that. But it’s good for her to know. You know. Anywaaay,” Simon rambled. He took a breath and regained himself before looking back at Alec. “I guess I wanted your blessing to go out with her. Is that weird?”

A slight smile broke Alec’s hard exterior. From his spot next to Simon, Alec clapped his teammate on the back with his hand. “Not at all. It’s very honest of you. My sister likes you for some weird reason,” he chuckled. “And no matter how protective I get, I won’t ever stand in the way of her happiness.”

Grinning, Simon said, “I’ve been told I’m a weird person so I think she’ll fit right in with me.”

“And hey, good news: you have an advantage over other guys she dates. I already like you.”

Simon smiled and laughed quietly. “That might be the first time I’ve ever heard you say that,” he joked.

Alec grinned embarrassed. “That wasn’t the first time, I’m sure.”

“It kinda was,” Simon pretended.

Just as Alec was going to reply, a member of their team stuck their head in the room. “Magnus, Alec, time for your press interview.”

“And that’s my que,” Alec said standing up. He swiped his hand over the fabric of his suit to roll out the wrinkles.

“Good luck,” Simon said. Alec noticed Simon made a quick glance between him and Magnus before settling his gaze back on Alec.

“Thanks,” he mumbled. Alec wasn’t sure what his teammates thought of Magnus and himself, but he gathered that it wasn’t the best viewpoint. “But hey,” Alec said walking backwards towards the door, “you do have my blessing.”

As he walked out behind Magnus, Jace grinned at him and shot him a wink for encouragement.

[][][][][]

This was the closest he and Magnus have been in a week and a half.

Alec knew in a few moments they would have to act like good friends, but before they reached the small stage, they were like strangers awkwardly waiting to be introduced.

Coach Garroway was there, already sitting on the far end in one of the three empty seats waiting for them. A voice sounded aloud and introduced the two players.

Camera lights were going off as Magnus and Alec walked into the press room. The Islanders logo was on the backdrop behind them, and alternating each logo, was the You Can Play phrase in rainbow letters.

Their PR team decided that it would be best to put Magnus in the middle since he was out and proud. Alec guessed they wanted all the focus to be on him, but Alec had inwardly rolled his eyes. He wasn’t sure why that bothered him so much.

Magnus sat down first next to Coach, then Alec next to Magnus. Magnus tucked his suit jacket down underneath the table when it laid against the table as he sat.

Alec automatically reached for the bottle of water resting in front of his body and took a long sip. The cameras in front of him momentarily blinded him so he looked away.

Last time he and Magnus sat together like this in front of people, it was the first time they talked in years. Alec couldn’t believe it was two months ago when he ran out of the You Can Play building.

Now, he had to sit next to Magnus again, but this time, more people were interviewing them and judging them. And Coach Garroway was there. There was no room for error.

Both Alec and Magnus knew that. Nothing happening here today was going to be personal. Nothing was _supposed_ to be personal.

But everything was personal when it came to them.

“Thank you all for joining us today for this special event,” Garroway spoke into his microphone. “You Can Play is such an important project for not only the NHL as a whole, but especially for this team.” He inched his head to the right an inch towards Magnus, who smiled in return. Alec felt his skin crawl.

Alec knew that Magnus didn’t do too many interviews after he came out. He kept tabs on his journey; it might be his own one day. Alec wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but as open that he knew Magnus was about his sexuality, he didn’t talk about it much once it was publicly known. And when he did talk about it, it was the same questions over and over again.

There were the supporters who thought it was about damned time that the NHL had an LGBT player. They were mostly the younger generation who knew how Twitter worked and knew other outlets on how to speak their minds. Alec remembered smiling at some website articles that showed encouraging tweets people have said about Magnus. Alec hoped that one day he would see that about himself.

Then Alec saw the assholes; the homophobes who didn’t want anything different brought to their favorite sport. Alec was appalled to see some people even saying that Magnus shouldn’t play hockey anymore—that the Islanders made a fucked-up move trading Josten for him. Magnus was an incredible player and Alec couldn’t imagine him never playing again. Magnus wanted to play for the NHL for as long as Alec could remember him. Alec couldn’t believe how closed-minded some people still were. They were the people holding him back from revealing himself to the world.

Before the first question was asked, Alec heard as Coach whispered to Magnus, “You don’t have to answer any of their ignorant, probing questions, understand? You answer what you want to.” Magnus just nodded.

“This is for Magnus and all of our LGBT readers,” the woman said as she stood up from her seat. “What was it like growing up realizing that you weren’t straight? What can help a young adult going through the same thing you did?”

Magnus cleared his throat and thought about his answer for a second. “Well,” he started, “it was hard at first coming to terms with it. I knew, at the time, that I was planning on going into a profession that never had an LGBTQ player and I was concerned of how I would be treated if the NHL knew before I was a part of it. So, I decided to wait until I was an established hockey player. But when my agent and I talked it over and I finally came out, it was like a breath of fresh air,” he smiled. “Everyone a part of the NHL was so encouraging and supportive; I fully believe that no upcoming LGBT player has to worry about being turned down for being who they are.”

Alec played his role as a supportive friend and teammate and nodded at Magnus’ answer with a small forced smile. He swallowed dry saliva and took a big gulp of his water as Garroway patted Magnus on the back.

The next reporter stood up. “You Can Play is all about educating others on the LGBT community and how their sexuality and gender doesn’t negatively influence who they are while playing their sport; in the NHL’s case, their skills as a hockey player. Today, the New York Islanders are hosting a Y.C.P. event for children and young adults. How does it feel to know you’re taking a role in shaping the lives of future players?”

Alec sat awkwardly as he looked at Magnus wondering which of them will take the question. Magnus nodded his head towards Alec and a few of the reporters chuckled as they waited.

“It’s a wonderful feeling to know that you might’ve had a hand in how a child grows up. You Can Play is a great organization to help teach about equality which is a huge trait the NHL looks for in a player. If what we teach gets them a step closer to being drafted, then I call it a win.”

“And also,” Magnus added, “from an LGBT players point of view, it’s incredible to know that even though you may not have met the child, you can be a role model just by being like them. If one child looks up to me because I’m bisexual and wants to continue their journey to the National Hockey League, then I know what I did—coming out—was definitely the right choice.”

If Alec could sink further into his chair without being called out, he would’ve. He wished he could say what Magnus just said. He wanted kids and future players to know that you don’t have to be afraid to go after your dream just because some people don’t understand you. He sighed and the microphone picked it up. He sniffled to make it look like a cold was coming on him.

Alec mentally banged his head on the wooden table. Why didn’t he bring his bracelet? He needed comfort right about now.

Alec jumped in his seat as a hand was laid on the folding part of his knee.

Alec schooled his features quickly and looked out to the press as someone started asking their question. Alec didn’t even hear it as his ears and face began feeling warm. His face stayed straight, but his eyes lingered lower towards Magnus’ arm under the table, hand resting firmly on his knee. He looked at Magnus’ profile just as he started talking and noticed how Magnus didn’t cast him a glance or any indication that his hand was _touching_ Alec.

Alec reached for his water bottle and downed the last few sips.

A gentle finger brushed over his knee before the warmth of Magnus’ hand left him. Alec felt an instant longing to have it back. But Magnus grabbed for his water bottle and cracked it open, taking his first sip.

“—Alec.” His head snapped up at the reporter. “What’s it like sharing the ambassador position?”

Alec forced a smile and looked at Magnus who was already staring at him, water bottle still in hand. “It’s new,” he replied looking back out towards the crowd, “but in a good way. I feel truly honored that I can share this position with the only LGBT NHL player. I hope us working together on this project will help open a positive door for people still struggling with their sexuality and/or gender.”

Alec risked a glance at Magnus. He looked back with sad, understanding eyes and Alec thought of his hand and how sudden Magnus’ change in attitude was. He wondered what brought it on.

Alec had almost everything he wanted in life. He had a great family, incredible friends, a job he loved that paid especially well. But he realized in that moment that he was jealous. Jealous of Magnus Bane and his ability to always speak his mind. Magnus had the strength to do what he’s always wanted to do: come out of the metaphorical closet without any regrets. Alec _wanted_ that. He was jealous at how easy it looked.

“How does your off-ice chemistry help you on ice?”

Alec heard Magnus sharply draw in air. Alec didn’t mind taking this one. “Off-ice chemistry is definitely important. The bond that we have between teammates as friends makes everything so much easier when we play. Knowing beforehand how someone will react with the puck just by knowing their personality is a great advantage that we have.”

Alec wasn’t lying. His friendships with his other teammates were so strong. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever be this close to another team if he were traded. He wondered if the reporter wanted to know specifically Magnus and Alec’s relationship, but Alec shrugged on the inside.

A few more questions were asked; some more LGBT specific one’s for Magnus and a few coaching one’s for Garroway, then the press interview ended.

Someone lead them off the small stage where their table was, and back to the locker room.

When Alec and Magnus entered, the room was empty; Jace, Simon and Raphael already on the ice.

The air between them was awkward—like strangers again— as they changed out of their finely pressed suits and into their gear and their Islanders home jersey.

Alec wanted to say something. But Magnus didn’t once glance his way—Alec was watching out the corner of his eye. Maybe Alec made up everything that just happened. But no. Alec shook his head. Magnus’ hand was a comforting gesture, it had to be. He didn’t understand.

Magnus walked out of the locker room through the double doors as he was still pulling his jersey down over his black gear.

Alec took a deep breath and groaned loudly, purposely banging his foot into the bottom of the bench.

He hissed as the pain traveled through his skate to his toes and around his foot. _Perfect_ , he sighed.

He took another deep breath to calm himself before he joined the others on the ice. Today’s participants were probably arriving now. He slid his gloves on and grabbed his rainbow-tapped stick and headed for the ice where he saw Jace shaking the hands of a few children and their parents.

[][][][][]

“The first rule of hockey is to always keep your eye on the puck.” Jace’s voice rang out across the empty arena at the kids who decided to participate today. They all stood dressed and ready in a group near the home bench. Their ages ranged from seven-ish to fifteen or sixteen. “I hope you all know that,” he chuckled, “because if not, then you will by the end of today.”

The kids eagerly smiled and watched with amazement. A few kids looked around the arena and Alec wondered how many times they’ve been there. Alec couldn’t count how many times he’s been in this arena—before being in the NHL and after—but it always amazed him when he walked through the front door. It felt like home to him. It _was_ home. He hopped that one day most of these kids could feel the same.

“Our second—and most important rule of the day,” Jace continued, “—is to have fun and support the You Can Play Project! We hope to help guide you and teach you while having a great day with us.”

“How many of you like playing left wing?” Alec spoke. A few hands raised and Alec grinned. Out of the 14 kids that showed up, that was a good number.

“Aww too bad,” Magnus said from between Simon and Raphael. “I’ll convert you to the _right_ side,” he smirked.

“Ahh, puns!” Simon said with a grin.

Some of the kids didn’t understand what he meant, but Alec understood Magnus’ challenge towards him. “And how many like playing _right_ wing?” Magnus’ asked.

“Ohhhh!” one kid deadpanned as a couple young boys raised their hands. “The _right_ side. ‘Cause you’re a right winger.” The boy gently slapped his hand to his forehead in embarrassment and shook his head. Alec saw a small smile on his lips.

But he perked up when he heard other kids around him finally realizing what Magnus had meant too. They all giggled and Alec knew Magnus was beaming.

“There you go!” Magnus said. “You got it now,” he laughed. Alec could hear the happiness in his voice and a fuzzy feeling bubbled inside him.

“I’ll keep my three, thank you,” Alec interjected. “We’re very happy to be in a group together, right?”

They all nodded enthusiastically as another kid spoke up. “Don’t you mean left?”

Alec laughed—well, they all did; this kid was too adorable. He wore a little New York Islanders jersey with Jace’s number—91—proudly on the arms and back. His rosy cheeks and brown eyes reminded Alec a bit of himself when he was that age.

Alec smiled as he answered his question. “Yes, I mean left.”

“Now,” Jace clapped his hands together, “since Bane and Lightwood are done figuring out that being a _center_ is best, let’s break up into our groups.” Alec nudged Jace in the side with his elbow. Their captain could never pass up the opportunity to make himself shine the best.

They continued to divide the kids up: right wing with Magnus, left wing with Alec, center with Jace, defense with Simon and goalies with Raphael.

Alec brought his three kids with him to his designated spot on the ice and turned to them with a big smile. He shook all their hands and asked for their names.

The youngest boy in his group—nine probably—spoke first. “I’m James,” he mumbled shyly.

“Hi, James. It’s good to have you here,” Alec smiled.

“I’m Thomas, but I like to be called Tom for short.” Alec guessed he was around thirteen. His blue and orange custom-made Islanders shirt proudly showed “Petrone” on the back and it made Alec think back to when his first jersey was made with “Lightwood” written on the back next to his number.

“My name’s Jordan,” said the oldest. At fifteen or sixteen, Alec knew he’d be one of the more experienced, but like Jace said earlier, this was about fun.

“Awesome,” Alec grinned. “I’m so glad you guys are here with us.”

Alec started with a few drills coach does with them to warm up. Tom was a good player; he told Alec that as the middle child of 3 brothers and a younger sister, the boys used to have a small goalie net set up in their basement. It’s what first started his love for hockey. Then after begging his parents to put him in a little league, his skills skyrocketed.

Alec was proud to teach these kids. When they asked him questions about his career, he was more than happy to answer. And when Jordan broke out his stats from last season, Alec couldn’t help but laugh because he couldn’t even remember all of them himself.

They didn’t really say much about the YCP project, but Alec tried to slip in little supportive comments in case they needed it, and if not, it was a learning experience.

After teaching them a few winger tips, Alec heard Magnus laugh. His group wasn’t too far from Alec’s, so they were in speaking distance if they talked loud enough, but his laugh carried throughout the arena. It was just as Alec remembered it, confident and cheery. Alec always loved his laugh, it was the perfect thing Alec needed to hear after a tough day on the ice at camp or after a long, mentally-challenging day at school.

Alec quickly glanced at him. Magnus’ smile shined brightly, and the butterfly cage in his stomach flew open.

“We’re having more fun than they are, right?” he asked his kids after regaining himself.

“Oh yeah, definitely,” Jordan grinned and passed the puck to Alec who told them another tip about playing a winger. “We have the more awesome coach.”

Alec smiled brightly and passed the puck to Tom. “Damn rig— I mean,” he said looking at young James, “You definitely do, Jordan. Don’t you forget it,” Alec said with a pointed finger at him. Jordan snorted and laughed.

After working in their groups, for fun, each kid tried to shoot a goal passed Cole, the young goalie working with Santiago today. A few of the older participants—like  Jordan and Tom— scored, but Cole successfully stopped most of the pucks that came his way. Believe it or not, Raphael smiled and gave the kid a strong pat on the back as he squirted water into his mouth.

[][][][][]

Alec was about to skate off towards the bench for a bottle of Gatorade and a sweat towel when a boy skated over to Magnus instead of the stands where his family was waiting for him to leave after a long day. He tapped Magnus on the back a few times, and the right-winger was startled but turned around with a gentle smile.

The kid said something and Magnus nodded and squatted down so he was eye-level with him.

Alec knew it was a private moment, but he was drawn in at the sudden closeness of them and skated forward so he could hear. Alec watched from about seven feet away as the kids face changed into a nervous smile. Alec couldn’t believe he’d be older than 13.

The boy kept running his hand over his shorts. Alec guessed it was a habit. The boy wasn’t looking at Magnus in the face, but at his shirt, at the Islanders logo. “I—I just wanted to say that you’re a great player and I’m really happy you’re on my favorite team now.”

“Well, thank you! I’m really excited to play for such a great team,” Magnus replied with a smile. “Maybe I can weasel my way into being your favorite player too.” Magnus nudged the kid with his elbow and the boy smiled and looked up, wincing.

“Lightwood’s my favorite player. But I’m sure you can be a close second.”

Alec’s heart warmed and he instantly wanted to go over to the boy, but he would wait until they could have a moment alone. Alec heard Magnus hum. “Lightwood’s a great player. You’ve chosen very wisely, my young padawan.”

Alec inwardly scoffed and grinned. Magnus had been spending too much time with Simon. Alec would have to encourage Jace to room Magnus with someone other than Simon while they were away sometimes.

“There’s something else I wanted to tell you, but I got nervous before,” the boy said. He took a breath as Magnus talked.

“No need to be nervous. We’re both too awesome for that. And believe me, I can sense awesomeness from a billion miles away.”

Alec’s heart ached at how easily Magnus was interacting with this child. He was always charming when it came to talking with others, but it was completely different watching grown-up-Magnus with someone so young and vulnerable. Magnus will be a great father one day. Some guy or girl will be lucky to have him. Alec’s heart clenched.

“Well, I really like how you’re bisexual. I realized a little while back that I’m not straight. I don’t really know what I am yet, but I’m just not straight.” He started breathing faster and he ran his hand over his shorts again. Alec wanted to reach out towards the boy and tell him that everything was okay. That he was going to be okay. If it were anyone other than Alec, they wouldn’t be able to tell that Magnus’ facial expression became more serious even though he still smiled. “When I found out that you came out and were _still_ able to play hockey, it made me so happy because I was terrified that I might not be able to play because I’m not _normal_. But you helped change my mind and I’m a lot happier now.”

Magnus frowned at the word _normal_. “First of all, you _are_ normal. Just because you’re not straight doesn’t change anything about you. Second, I told you, you were awesome, didn’t I? You telling me that just proved it.” The boy timidly smiled. “I was about your age when I found out about myself and I thought that way for a bit, but I didn’t care because being bi doesn’t define what kind of player I am. I was able to be comfortable with myself enough to come out to friends at first, and then later on my mother and step-father, then later, the world. And believe it or not, there are still people my age who have to realize it’s okay to show the world their true colors. That’s the whole point of this organization, right? Realizing that being yourself if okay.”

Alec never wanted to show his true colors more than he did right now. Every You Can Play event seems to make him want to come out slightly more each time, but watching this encounter almost hurt. He wanted so desperately to be someone that _all_ kids could look up to.

Alec wondered if Magnus knew he was listening. Probably because now Alec was openly staring at them. But either way, what Magnus was saying was true. Alec knew deep down that he _can_ come out to the world. He was okay with being gay—he wasn’t ashamed. So why is he still so terrified at the thought?

“Yeah,” the boy sighed in relief. “Do you think there’s other NHL players who aren’t straight too?”

Alec’s throat tightened.

Magnus shrugged. “I don’t like to assume, but I’d say yes. We just have to give them time,” he smiled.

Alec relaxed at his answer, comfort replacing his anxiety. He decided that Gatorade could do him well right now and skated off towards the bench.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! 
> 
> I want to thank Ash (Quite_Magical) for all her help in this chapter and for freaking out with me over the ending all those months ago :D Love you <3 
> 
> I truly hope you all enjoy this chapter and enjoy Alec and Magnus' transformation thus far. Come yell at me after<3
> 
> Remember: sneak peeks on my Twitter on Tuesday or Wednesday and a new chapter next Friday! Love you all! #FtLotG
> 
> Also, forewarning, I will be changing the rating from Mature to Explicit soon

The advantage of being a winger was that you could not only play off your teammates, but also the wall. Alec slammed the puck into the wall and it swung around the boards to Magnus on the other side. The right winger was waiting on the other end and quickly passed it back to Simon. The Boston Bruins player lurched his stick forward out towards Simon who expertly spun 180 degrees and passed the black puck to Meliorn’s awaiting stick.

Alec glanced at the clock on the big screen dangling over center ice. 4:48 left in the third period, tied at 3.

Their fans were cheering as they always did when it was nearing the end of the game. Meliorn tried to pass it to Jace who was in the center of the Bruins team, but the other team grabbed the puck. The Bruins skated down towards Santiago, but Jace was hot on his heels.

Jace flung his stick out and the Bruins player went down on his knees. A whistle was called, stopping play. The referee went over to Jace and pushed him towards the penalty box.

Alec huffed and shook his head. Two minutes of play without a fifth player now. When there was just over 4 minutes left in the game, you never wanted less players than the opposing team. The Islanders were lucky the Bruins didn’t get a penalty shot. If that happened, then the other team would have a chance to get a goal without any type of defense from the Islanders; just the Bruins player against Santiago.

“Come on, Herondale!” an angry fan shouted from the stands. “Get your head in the game!”

Coach Garroway called time out. The first line—now minus Jace— was going back out as the first penalty killers. They had 30 seconds to drink water or Gatorade and hear a small speech from Coach Cronin, the Islanders penalty killing coach.

They’ve heard this speech too many times. _Stay focused. Keep your eyes on the puck at all times. Don’t let Santiago do all the work. Our goal is always to score a short-handed goal._

Alec squirt water into his mouth and around his neck. The cool water dribbled down his gear under his jersey and he added more water. Despite being on top of ice, he was sweating.

The refs called both teams back to the Islanders zone. Magnus stood at the center of the circle for the face off. If he won this, they could skate out of their zone and take pressure off Santiago’s back.

Magnus didn’t swipe at the puck in time. The Bruins player passed it back to his teammate who tried to slap shot it into the goal. Santiago was quick to stop it; the puck going right to his glove side.

The whistle sounded and their coach put the second penalty kill line out, giving Magnus, Alec, Simon, and Meliorn a quick break.

Alec watched from the bench as Lee won the puck and passed it back to Matthews. He skated it out towards Rask, the Bruins goalie. They had a breakaway and Matthews passed back to Lee who took a shot but missed.

Alec could hear the crowd sigh behind him. Coach started yelling at the players on ice as they sped past the home bench. Alec risked a glance at the time. Only 27 seconds left on Jace’s penalty, just over 2 minutes left in the game unless they went to overtime.

Just before Jace came out of the box, the first line went back out.

Alec took advantage of the fact that there were only two Bruins near the puck and he surged forward, stick diving towards the black disk. He freed it from its confinement against the wall and passed it quickly to Magnus who was alone in the neutral area.

Magnus skated it out and passed it to Jace who was finally out of the penalty box. Jace rushed it towards Rask and took a shot, but it ricocheted off his body and towards Alec.

“One minute remaining in the period,” the announcer said to the crowd.

Alec lifted his stick and slammed it on the puck and watched it glide to the net. Rask reached out with his stick to stop it, but the puck zoomed under his arm and the light behind him lit up.

“Yes!” Alec shouted as the arena went wild. His teammates on the ice with him came over and did a group hug around him.

“I knew you’d make up for my lazy ass,” Jace said over the chanting of their fans.

“Someone has to,” Alec shrugged with a smile. They all skated towards the bench and fist pumped each of the players. There was still 43.6 seconds left in the game; plenty of time for the Bruins to score a goal. But the Islanders were already celebrating.

In the end, the Bruins couldn’t make their come back and the New York Islanders won again 4-3.

[][][][][]

“Seriously, party at my place tonight!” Jace called out once they were all in the locker room. Alec had to do a walk off interview with the press since he scored the winning goal tonight. Garroway patted him on the back as he walked passed. Everything was _good_ tonight.

“You have booze on such short notice?”

Jace scoffed at Meliorn. “Do I have _booze_? Of course I do! I’m the party guy now, right? Gotta stay stocked up.”

“Is that a shout out to me?” Alec asked with a laugh. Whenever Alec held the parties, he told everyone that he wasn’t their liquor guy and they had to bring their own drinks. “Takin’ a jab at my party hosting stills, Herondale?”

“Damn right it is, Lightwood. This is why I’m captain.” Jace shrugged off his jersey and hung it on the hanger.

Alec rolled his eyes with a smile. “It’s not that we didn’t like bringing our own drinks,” Minyard said, slinging his arm around Alec’s shoulders, “but we really didn’t like bringing our own drinks. Nothing against you, buddy.”

Alec barked out a laugh. “Definitely not,” he replied scanning the room at his friends’ grins.

Magnus wasn’t looking at him like most of the other players, but Alec noticed a small smile playing on his lips. Alec watched him for a moment, taking in his profile. His features were soft and Alec wanted to reach out and run his fingers over the smooth skin on his cheek. He wanted to run his hands through Magnus’ hair, sweaty or not. Magnus looked up at him, smile slowly fading as he looked at Alec. Maybe Alec daydreamed it, but he thought desire was swirling around Magnus’ eyes.

Alec was being pulled down from the neck by Minyard, arm still clutched around him. Jace’s hand came over and ruffled Alec’s hair. “Asshole’s,” he mumbled and tried to wiggle out of Minyard’s grasp. He patted down his hair and risked another glance at Magnus. This time he was the one being watched. A shy smile was on Magnus’ face, and when he was caught, he looked like a deer in headlights before looking away.

Alec took that as a compliment.

[][][][][]

Alec walked through Jace’s front door and the smell of alcohol and sweat hit him. He weaved through his friends towards the kitchen for a beer. He opened the stainless-steel refrigerator door and cracked open one of the bottles he grabbed.

He looked out at his teammates. A small group were huddled around the TV watching tonight’s game highlights.

They showed each of the Burins goals against Santiago who, watching the screen, shook his head probably thinking he could’ve stopped them. Then they showed the Islanders goals. They rolled through the first three then Jace was on the screen as he shot towards the goal. He missed, but Alec quickly got it and scored. The boys huddled around the screen cheered as they watched.

Alec grinned at them and shook his head fondly.

“Lightwood, seriously, that rebound was awesome. I couldn’t have done it better, myself.”

Alec, still smiling, looked over at Simon who leaned back against the kitchen counter next to him. “No, you couldn’t have.”

“Hey!”

Alec shrugged playfully. “You said it, not me.”

Simon huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, his red solo cup poked out from underneath his arm. “I skated into that one, didn’t I?”

“Yup.”

A comfortable silence washed over them as Alec took a swig of his bottle. “Look at them,” Simon finally said as he nodded his head forward.

Not knowing who he was talking about, Alec looked over. Jace had his hand against the small of Clary’s back as they talked to Lee and his wife. They must’ve finally told Simon.

“Is this what it felt like for you when Isabelle asked you for my number?”

“What do you feel?” Alec asked.

“Protective. Clary’s my best friend. I’ve known her since elementary school. Neither of us has ever been in a serious relationship yet, and I can’t help but feel like Jace will hurt her. I _know_ him. I know what he’s like when it comes to girls.” Simon sighed but kept his eyes on the new couple.

Alec nodded. He knew too, but he said instead, “Jace told me she was different. I really hope he means that and proves you wrong.”

“Me too,” said Simon, taking a sip of his red drink.

“Keep me updated, yeah? I’m gonna go say hi.” Alec bumped his shoulder with Simon’s before heading towards Jace and Clary.

He was surprised he hadn’t seen Magnus yet. As he walked he looked around the open floor plan, but couldn’t see him.

“Aleeeec!” Jace wrapped an arm around his shoulders and shook him. “You’re my guest of honor tonight, buddy.”

“Hi, Alec,” Clary said in a small voice, waving at him.

“Hi, Clary. Nice to see you again.” They watched her walk towards Simon, then Alec looked over at Jace questioningly. “Please don’t tell me you forgot my crown this time. A King needs his crown.”

Jace’s eyes bulged. “Uhhh, first of all, I never said anything about a king. Second, you can go ask Magnus about the crown thing,” he said pointing to his left. Alec looked over to find Magnus crunched on the crouch next to a few teammates posing for a picture.

After a second, he looked back at Jace. “Are you stereotyping him? Don’t stereotype,” he said unimpressed.

Jace dropped his arm from Alec and glanced at Lee who was now a few feet away from them talking to Simon and Clary. “I really didn’t mean it like that. I just want you to talk to him again.”

“About what? I don’t think he’s ready yet.”

Jace shrugged. “Fuck me if I know. Ice cream, maybe? By the way, the former was not supposed to be taken literally.”

Alec glared at him. “Shit,” he said, voice monotone. “What am I going to do with my life now?”

“Sorry, dude. I’m in a happy relationship.”

Alec thought about Magnus again and sighed. _Happy relationship_ , Jace had said. “Fine. I’ll talk to him. I’m not promising a happy outcome, though.”

“Go now! He’s only with a few of the guys,” Jace said with a shove against his back. Alec stumbled forward and gave a dirty look to Jace over his shoulder. Jace waved at him to go on and Alec huffed, straightening his back.

Alec tried to smoothly slide his way next to Magnus.

He must’ve failed because whatever Meliorn was saying, he paused to look at Alec. As did the three others standing with him.

Magnus was staring at him, and Alec panicked. “So,” he said, “How ‘bout that vanilla ice cream?”

“Dude, what?”

Magnus cocked his head to the side and narrowed his eyes at Alec. He hummed, then said, “Vanilla’s alright. But it’s horribly boring, Alexander. It’s safe… predictable.”

“Is it too boring for me?” he asked. He heard Matthews and Minyard laugh because maybe vanilla did sum up his life for them.

“Maybe.” Alec watched a small smile form on Magnus’ face. “You need some excitement in your life. Rocky Road, Chocolate Sprinkles or,” his voice lowered, “Salted Caramel.”

Alec’s eyes widened and he quickly looked around at his friends. They just looked on with confused expressions.

Salted Caramel, huh?

Alec couldn’t help but feel drawn to Magnus in that moment. Something flared inside of him. He couldn’t tell if it was desire for Magnus, or frustration from being called boring. (It was desire.)

Alec leaned towards Magnus, who in turn didn’t jerk backwards like Alec knew he probably wanted to, and whispered, “That’s funny. If I remember correctly, you used to enjoy a bit of vanilla.”

Alec felt giddy as he saw Magnus’ dumbfounded expression when he pulled away. Yup, he did that and Alec was proud of himself.

“You’re right,” Magnus finally said in a normal voice. “I did. I still might. But you, according to some sources, of course, used to like a bit of caramel. Hell, maybe you still do.”

“Never said I didn’t like it.”

This was dangerous water Alec was treading in. Three teammates were standing right next to him and Magnus and Alec couldn’t tell if they were getting their hidden messages. Alec thought he should feel more scared, but he wasn’t.

Magnus shrugged and looked towards the kitchen. “Maybe you’d try it out again with the right… touch.”

Alec was suddenly frustrated. Why the hell was it suddenly okay for Magnus to talk like this to him when he made sure Alec knew there would be nothing more to it? Was it to get back at him for 7 years of maltreatment? Because Alec gave himself enough torture for his own actions.

Magnus must’ve noticed Alec’s change of behavior because he said, “Anyways…”

Magnus turned back towards Meliorn, Minyward and Matthews.

“You drive me crazy!” Alec said to Magnus’ side. Alec huffed and made a beeline straight for the front door.

[][][][][]

Alec unlocked his door and stormed in. As he was about to slam the door shut, Magnus burst through. Frustrated and shocked, Alec marched towards him. “What the hell are you doing?”

“You drive _me_ crazy.” Magnus threw the door shut and demanded, "Kiss me."

"What?" Alec was sure the shock was written all over his face. One minute they were arguing about ice cream, now Magnus wants...

“I said, 'Kiss me'. I want you to kiss me. Right now. Do it." Magnus took a step closer to Alec. 

Alec's heart fluttered for a moment. Suddenly, his heart became heavy as his anxiety set in, but excitement and familiarness was there too. He couldn’t quite tell—

Magnus took another step closer. Magnus’ face was less than a foot away from his. He wanted to…

Alec leaned in, their lips two inches away from each other. Alec could feel Magnus' hot breath on his face. He watched as Magnus closed his eyes. 

Alec pulled away slightly when Magnus tried to lean in and close the gap. "Do you forgive me?"

"What?" Magnus whispered back. 

"Do you forgive me for what-what happened at camp? I need to know."

"Yes," Magnus' raspy voice tingled through Alec's body. He could feel the butterflies in his stomach being set free to roam every other part of his body. 

Magnus leaned in again and Alec pulled further away. Magnus let out a frustrated sigh and opened his eyes.  

"Is that the lust talking?"

Magnus shrugged. "Maybe." 

It wasn't what Alec wanted to hear, but it was enough for now. 

Alec closed the gap between their mouths. He felt Magnus gasp as their lips touched for the first time in years. A soft whimper left Magnus’ mouth and the sound filled the room and Alec's ears. 

The sounds. A wet melody floated in the room. It was music to his ears. The thought of his lips on Magnus' again... 

A rush of emotions filled through him. Memories flooded his mind and body and warmth spread throughout him. Memories of them on Alec’s bed at night before they fell asleep. Memories of Magnus’ smaller body pressed against his.

Alec sighed against Magnus' mouth. His heart was pounding a million miles a minute just from a soft kiss. If this is what a kiss could do to him after 7 years, Alec couldn't wait to see what  _other stuff_ could do. If Magnus wanted the same thing he did anyway...

He pulled away at the thought of Magnus not wanting anything more from him than a sympathetic, angry kiss. Magnus didn't seem to realize Alec's hesitation. 

When Magnus fluttered his eyes open, Alec felt like he could breathe properly for the first time in years. His brown/yellow orbs were so captivating, so enticing, he couldn't tear his eyes away. Neither could Magnus. 

“I missed that. Jesus, I missed you,” Magnus whispered as he gazed into Alec’s eyes.

“Me too.” Alec took an uncertain step forward. “What did it mean, though, to you? Because it meant something to me.” Alec finally tore his eyes from Magnus’ and looked at his chest. “If you’re not ready, or—God—if you don’t want—”

“I do!” Magnus sounded panicked. “Alec— Alexander,” Magnus placed the palm of his hand on Alec’s face. “I’ve thought a lot about _everything_ these past two weeks. I understand now.” He took a breath and licked his lips, wetting them from their dryness. Alec watched his tongue. “It hurt a lot, I won’t lie, but I understand now. I know we can’t automatically fall back into the place that we left off at camp, but I’d like to start again. Slowly.”

Alec nodded. “Slowly,” he repeated.

Magnus asks, “Who knows? About this. About… all _that_?” He passed a quick hand between the two of them.

“Just Jace and my sister. You?”

Magnus nodded. “No one.”

“No one?” Alec was shocked. “You must’ve told someone you trust. Your mom?”

“No,” Magnus said quietly. “No one.”

Alec gently took Magnus’ hand in his. “I’m sorry for everything—”

“Don’t. I’m okay now.” Magnus pressed a kiss to Alec’s cheek. His lips lingered for a moment and Alec’s nerves calmed. “I can’t stop thinking about you. I know I said I needed space, but I missed being your best friend. I don’t want to miss another minute when I’ve waited so _long_ to see you again.”

“I know,” Alec agreed as he rubbed his thumb into the skin on Magnus’ hand. “I thought of so many things over the years that I needed to tell you. Things that only you would understand and I _hate_ that I ruined that for us.”

“I realized at the You Can Play event that I wasn’t upset with you anymore. But by the time I realized, you were gone and I didn’t know how to bring everything up without it being weird. So I treated you the same as normal.”

“I guess that’s why you practically told me I was boring by using ice cream flavors?”

Alec’s heart fluttered when he saw Magnus blush, a faint red painting itself onto Magnus’ cheek.

Magnus nodded and squeezed his eyes shut in embarrassment. “Don’t worry,” Alec said. “That’s us—the bantering. The flirting.” He brought Magnus’ hand up to his lips and kissed his knuckles. Alec’s eyes bore into Magnus, who in return, smiled back. “Stay for a drink?”

Magnus took a deep breath like he was coming out of a trance. “I shouldn’t,” he replied and slipped his hand out of Alec’s.

“Right, going slow.” They stood there for a second, both no wanting Magnus to leave, but eventually, Alec stated moving towards the front door. “Let me walk you out.”

“Right, thanks.”

Hesitantly, Alec turned around, facing Magnus. “Just to clarify, we’re okay, right? Like, I can—We can talk again? Like how we used to, I mean. And you won’t—”

“—I won’t judge you or bring up any of _that_. I promise.” Taking Alec’s hand in his, Magnus said softly, “I want us to be _us_ again. _Magnus and Alec_. I’m sorry for how I treated you.”

Shaking his head, Alec placed his hand on top of Magnus’. “Don’t, Magnus. I deserved it all and more.”

Magnus sighed with a small smile. “Thank you for being patient with me, Alexander.”

Alec scoffed. “Thank you for not hating me for all eternity.”

“I could never.”

Alec’s hand rested on the door knob. Before opening it, he said, “Can I…?” His eyes glanced to Magnus’ lips before returning back to his brown/yellow eyes.

“Please.” Magnus licked his lips as Alec leaned in.

Alec rested the hand not on the door knob onto Magnus’ arm softly. Angling his head down, Alec connected their lips. It was supposed to be a peck, but Magnus turned it deeper.

Alec had to be the one to pull away. He regretted it the second he heard Magnus whimper, a noise that he heard many times before. He suppressed his shudder. “You’re rule, not mine,” he said against Magnus’ lips.

A small chuckle escaped Magnus as he took a step backwards. “You’re right.”

Alec cleared his throat and opened the door. “I will see you in a couple days at the airport for our next game.”

“You will,” Alec replied.

Magnus nodded with a soft smile and turned down the hallway towards the elevator.

Alec watched him until he disappeared into the elevator.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S FRIDAY! 
> 
> Thanks for reading! This is a fun chapter, I hope you all like it :D
> 
> New sneak peek on Tuesday/Wednesday and new chapter next Friday! #FtLotG

Alec was giddy.

Alec knew that nothing between he and Magnus were official yet, but as October slid into November, he couldn’t help but love the sneakiness between himself and Magnus.

After they kissed last week, the next morning Alec had realized that he didn’t have Magnus’ phone number. He probably could’ve asked Jace or even Simon, but he wanted it to come from himself. He didn’t want Magnus to think that he was too chicken to ask.

After they exchanged numbers during their next game in Philadelphia, they texted constantly. It started off as small, shy texts from Alec, still unsure if Magnus was definite about this—whatever _this_ was or was going to be.

They only ever saw each other when there was a game; not yet going to each other’s places for recreational time. It’s only been a week, but they still had to be careful.

Hockey players didn’t physically get followed much by the press, but since Magnus was now considered high-profile since he came out, Magnus and Alec knew they had to be extra careful while sneaking around.

Alec grinned as another text buzzed in.

“I have had enough of this! Seriously, Alec, who are you talking to that’s plastered that stupid, silly smile to your face?”

Alec threw himself onto the couch, legs and arms sprawled everywhere. His head rested on his sister’s lap. He looked up at her, phone clutched in his hand, before pressing his finger to his phone to read his new message from Magnus.

“It’s definitely a boy.” Alec glanced over towards his brother who sat on the love seat next to the couch he and Izzy were on. “What? It’s obvious that it is.” Max shrugged.

“It is?” Alec asked, looking back at his phone.

His sister scoffed from above. “Of course it is. Your poker face sucks right now. That, and you’ve been glued to that thing all night. Did you know that The Bachelorette was even on?”

It was Alec’s turn to scoff. “You act like you’re not on your phone 24/7. Besides, I’m rarely ever on mine all night.”

Alec twisted on his sister’s lap so he was on his side facing the TV. “Technically, you can’t be on your phone for 24 hours straight. I mean, you could, but you’d be very tired,” said Max.

Alec raised an eyebrow as Max raised his glass cup with water to his mouth. “Don’t be a smartass,” Alec said.

Max frowned. “But my ass is very smart—or so my grades say.” He shrugged proudly. “Just the facts here, Alec.”

Before Alec could reply, Isabelle tried to grab his phone while he was distracted. “Hey!”

She yanked her arm back, as he pulled his phone back down to the safety of his chest. Izzy grumbled. “Just tell me who it is,” she whined.

Alec sat up and moved to the other side of the couch. “Maybe if you’d ask like a normal person, I’d tell you.”

She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “Who are you talking to, my favorite, older brother?”

Alec shrugged as his phone buzzed again. “I don’t know if I want to tell you now.”

He opened Magnus’ text. _I’m sooo not ready for this 6 hour flight. However, I am ready to see you in that adorable beanie you wear._

Alec grinned, bit his bottom lip and typed a quick reply. _I’ll make sure I wear it just for you._

Alec suddenly felt a pain in his side. Izzy kicked her foot to get his attention. “Hellooo! Did you even hear a word I just said?”

With a grimace, Alec shrugged and waited for a new text to come in. “I’m texting Magnus,” he said after a moment.

Isabelle’s eyes bulged in surprise. “But I thought… he wasn’t talking to you.”

“Why is your face all happy then if it’s just your teammate? Oh!” he chuckled. “Wait. You totally have a crush,” Max corrected himself.

They both ignored him. Alec shrugged again at his sister. “How long have you been talking?” She flipped her legs underneath her body and leaned in closer to Alec. “And is it just talking? Or is it _talking_.”

With a small smile, Alec said, “Since last week.” He didn’t want to make a big deal of it, but on the inside, his stomach rolled over, butterflies exploding, thinking about their kiss.

“Last week?” Izzy exclaimed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “You were so excited about your date with Simon that I didn’t want to steal your thunder.”

Isabelle rolled her eyes and playfully hit her brother’s arm. “So! This is big news. You obviously talked. Did you…?” she wiggled her eyebrows at him.

“I’m 16, almost 17,” Max said from across the room. He was sitting up now looking at his siblings from where he sat. The TV was still on in the background, but no one was paying attention. “You can say the word ‘sex’ in front of me.”

“We didn’t have sex,” Alec replied to Izzy before turning to his younger brother. “Happy, Max?”

“Very.” The 16-year-old looked back at his phone. “So, what happened?”

“We only kissed,” Alec responded. “He wants to go slow.”

“Are you his boooyfrieeend?”

Alec bit his lip as a new text came in. “We don’t have any labels—which is fine. That’s pretty much the definition of slow,” he replied, texting back to Magnus.

“Alright.” Max grinned and said, “So, when does he come over so I can give him the, ‘You hurt my brother, I beat your a—’” Alec glared at him and Max rolled his eyes, “‘— _butt_ ’ conversation?”

“I think you’ll need to actually go to a gym and _exercise_ if you want to try that,” Alec said with a chuckle.

“Alright, you two, enough of that. Max, I need to get you home before mom and dad call. You have school in the morning.” Isabelle set aside the throw pillow and gulped back the rest of her soda.

“What! Izzy, no. Alec,” he whined, “can’t I just stay here? Mom and dad have been driving me crazy.” He slapped his hand on his leg.

“Sorry, Max,” Alec said with a smile. “You have to endure the loving pain just like Izzy and I.”

“They hug me too much,” Max grumbled as he trudged towards the front door for his coat.

Isabelle ruffled her little brother’s hair and giggled. “A parent’s love is never too much.” With a soft sigh, she opened the door to leave.

“You know what?” Max said and turned towards Alec. “I feel like I know Magnus. Personally, I mean. But I don’t know from where. Isn’t that weird?” He smiled and shook his head.

“Hmm.” Alec swallowed as Izzy shot him a glare from behind Max. A _tell-him_ glare. “It is…”

[][][][][]

Plane rides were always tough on Alec’s back. He was only 23, but when you were on a plane every week for 5 years straight—not even including when he was in the AHL—it did a toll on you.

Vancouver was 6 and a half hours of flight time. The ride was always stuffy with the team’s bags and long-limbed bodies that it was almost suffocating sometimes.

But Alec had worn the grey beanie that Magnus had mentioned while they were texting yesterday, and it was all worth it when Magnus grinned as he saw him. Since they were still new at whatever this was, Magnus kept his distance, but Alec felt his eyes on him when he caught up with Jace and Lee.

Alec hated not being able to walk up to him to kiss him. His team probably wouldn’t care—at least he hoped not—but there was always that chance that it would get out.

When they landed, they went straight to the Canucks arena. As soon as they stepped in, blue and green filled their eyes and the Canucks logo littered the walls.

They entered the visiting locker room and Alec found his number instantly. Lee was to his right—number 27—and Simon was to his left—number 24.

He shrugged his winter coat off and laid it on the bench before someone to his left nudged him.

“Dude,” Simon said in a low voice, patting Alec’s chest with his hand, “do you really have that thing going on with Magnus?”

Alec’s breath caught. With a harsh whisper, he asked, “T-Thing? What thing?”

“Yeah, you didn’t read that article that was published last week?”

Alec shook his head confused. “What article?” He and Magnus weren’t even officially together yet, how could anyone know when they didn’t even know themselves?

“I read it on the plane ride here,” Simon said, pulling his phone out of his gear bag. “I should still have it up…” He scrolled through his phone before he clicked something excitedly. “Ah ha! Got it.” He quickly passed his phone to Alec.

The title in bolded letters read, “Islander’s Rivalry Amongst Teammates?” by Jonathan Morgenstern. Alec let out a small relieving sigh. It didn’t sound like they knew about he and Magnus.

Alec read the article. It started:

_This past weekend, the New York Islanders participated in a You Can Play event in hopes to eradicate homophobia amongst all sports—especially in the NHL (National Hockey League). The two Islander ambassadors—Alec Lightwood and Magnus Bane—shared the spotlight during the team’s press interview with their coach Luke Garroway. (Photos and short video clips follow below.)_

_While Magnus answered his questions with ease, Alec seemed to zone out with an unusual stressed expression. It’s been known that Lightwood has been the sole ambassador for the New York Islanders for the past four years. Now, it seems like he didn’t feel completely comfortable sharing his ambassador publicity with the first out and proud LGBT hockey player._

_The question stands: Could it be that in the two months Magnus Bane has been with the Islanders that Alec never really liked him? Or—dare I say it—could Alec not like the LGBT community at all?_

Alec stopped reading. He huffed out a disbelieving breath. Holding Simon’s phone up, he said, “Is this guy for real?”

“I know, right?” Simon took his phone back and shut it off before tossing it back in his bag. “We all know you love being ambassador. You always drag us to LGBT events, so it’s definitely not that. But I couldn’t help but wonder about the other option.”

Alec raised his eyebrow. “That I don’t like Mag—” He lowered his voice. “That I don’t like Magnus?” He crossed his arms.

“Yeah. I mean, at first it did seem like you didn’t get along well… No one wanted to mention it to either of you.”

Alec sighed and pulled off his shirt and jeans. “I just had to get to know him is all. We get along great now.”

“Oh!” Simon beamed. “That’s Good!”

Alec hummed in an awkward agreement.

[][][][][]

“Jace will be back soon.”

“Where’d he go?” Magnus asked as he rushed into Alec and Jace’s hotel room. He kicked his shoes off at the base of Alec’s bed.

Alec shrugged as he shut the door behind him. “Something about food. I think he and a few of the guys went to get fast food.”

“Damn,” Magnus said, flopping onto Alec’s bed. “If I had known, I would’ve asked them to bring me back something.”

“Too bad you got me instead.” Alec crawled onto the bed next to Magnus with a grin. This was the first alone time they had since their kiss last week and Alec was itching to be next to Magnus.

Magnus hummed happily and ran his hand over Alec’s arm once he laid next to him. “I think I got the better deal.”

Alec flipped onto his side, facing Magnus. “Do you?”

Magnus hummed again and nodded, running his hand through Alec’s messy hair. “Oh definitely. Greasy fast food, or a hot, strong man?” Magnus paused to think about his options. “Actually, I should’ve went with the greasy fast food.”

“Hey!” Alec swatted his arm. “If that’s what you want, I can easily become food.”

Magnus eyes widened and a smile broke out on his face. “Alexander! Naughty, I like it.” Alec chuckled shyly and buried his face in his arm, one eye still focused on Magnus. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’ve been waiting an awfully unpleasant week for this.”

When Magnus inched his head closer to his, Alec’s heart fluttered and leaned his in. Their lips connected in a soft kiss.

Magnus hand, still on Alec’s head, gently pulled on Alec’s hair as a groan emanated from Magnus’ throat. Alec moaned at the sudden roughness and kissed back with equal force. He opened his mouth so Magnus could slide his tongue in easily. Their tongues battled for a moment before Alec gave up and groaned against Magnus again.

Alec’s hand gripped at Magnus’ back, his shirt crumbling in his hand. With a grunt, Magnus broke them apart and flipped onto his back, pulling Alec on top of him. Alec swung his leg around Magnus so he was straddling him.  

Alec hesitated for a moment making sure Magnus was okay with this, but his answer was confirmed as Magnus’s hands went to the back of his head and pulled Alec down to meet his mouth again.

“Alec,” Magnus mumbled against his mouth. Alec kissed down his jaw. “Alec, wait,” he said again a little more forced. Alec instantly sat up. Below him, Magnus’s lips were swollen and his hair where Alec hand place his hands was a jumbled mess.

He never looked more beautiful.

“Go on a date with me,” Magnus said.

Shocked, Alec’s eyes rose. “A date?” Magnus ran a hand over Alec’s thigh.

“Yes, a date. A secret date, of course, but a date.”

Alec pulled his leg around from Magnus so he was lying next to him again. “You…” Alec tried to hide his smile and looked into Magnus eyes. “You want to go on a date with me?”

“I really do. Our first date that we never had when we were younger.” Alec’s heart fluttered and he bit his bottom lip.

“Of course I want to go on a date with you,” he said breathlessly.

Magnus grinned and leaned in for a kiss that Alec gladly returned.

Alec pulled away as a thought entered his head. “Is… is the even possible, though? Like, can we do this?”

Magnus scoffed. “Of course we can. People go on dates all the time.”

Alec grabbed onto Magnus’ shirt again and scrunched his face up. “We’re different than normal people. For us, I mean, legally. Can we _legally_ be together?”

“I don’t think it’s in the rule book that two members from the same club can’t be together. Honestly, I don’t think they even thought about it 100 years ago when the sport was first introduced, so I think we should _legally_ be in the clear.”

Alec nodded, something else popping into his head. “And what about the team? I’m not out yet to them. I- I- We can’t tell them yet. I hope you’re okay with that.” Alec looked down ashamed.

This was always the problem when he allowed himself to give in to a boyfriend. He hated the hiding, hated the lying. But it was who he was.

“I know. It’s okay, we don’t have to tell anyone yet. Our teammates don’t have to know until we’re certain that this relationship is stable, and more importantly, until you’re comfortable. I promise I won’t push you into anything.” Magnus ran a comforting hand over Alec’s face. The warmth from his hand spread through Alec’s body.

“I just feel like I’m pushing you back into the closet when you fought so hard to get out.”

“Despite what the media knows, I’m usually very private about my relationships. Yes, I came out for myself, but mostly for the sake of others. I want to be a leader for people who can’t do so themselves. The point is, you’re not pushing me back in the closet. The media can go fuck themselves.”

Alec licked his dry lips. “Well, you’re definitely my leader.” Alec unclenched his fist full of Magnus’ shirt, and instead, ran his hand through Magnus’ hair.

With a small smile, Magnus leaned in to kiss Alec again. It wasn’t like their earlier kiss. This one was soft, delicate and reassuring—the exact type of kiss Alec needed in that moment.

Then, they suddenly heard voices outside the door. They quickly pulled away and looked at each other with wide eyes. Alec said in a panicked tone, “Jace.”

It’s not that Alec didn’t want to tell Jace, it’s just he didn’t want the I-told-you-so-look just yet. And if Magnus stumbled outside the hotel room right now, a quarter of the team would see swollen-kissed lips and ruffled hair coming from Jace and Alec’s room. And since Jace was with them…

“Bathroom,” Alec rushed out as they heard Jace entering his card key outside.

Magnus leaped off the bed and grabbed his shoes that he tossed off earlier. There was a loud bang on the side of the bed and Magnus’ eye’s widened. “Shit. Alec, my—”

“Go!” Alec pulled him into the bathroom and closed the door so Magnus was in the dark just as Jace opened the door with a jump.

“Shit, Alec,” he chuckled. “You scared me.” He pushed past him towards his bed and Alec sighed with one last glance at the bathroom door. “Why were you by the door like a creeper?”

“Oh,” Alec shrugged. He hoped he was a good enough actor. “Just heard you and thought I could open the door for you like the good friend I am.”

“I was definitely the one to open it,” Jace grinned.

Alec swallowed. “Yeah… you, uh, beat me to it,” he said with a light, slow punch to Jace’s shoulder.

Jace tossed his winter coat onto his bed and slid his shoes off. “You okay, bud? I got you a taco, but it looks like I interrupted you and your hands time. Your face is so red.” Still grinning, Jace chuckled at his own words.

Alec’s eyes widened. “Jesus, Jace, no,” he said embarrassedly. “I- I, uh, need to actually go to the bathroom for a… few.” Alec cleared his throat and swallowed.

Okay, so he wasn’t the _best_ actor.

Jace nodded as Alec turned towards the bathroom by the front door. He took a deep breath as he took a step closer before stopping as Jace talked. “Got cha. You may as well take your phone in there if you’ll be a while.”

“My phone? But—”

Jace pointed to something on the floor between their beds. “Yeah, your phone is on the floor.”

Well, that couldn’t be right. His phone was definitely in his pocket.

If it wasn’t his, and it wasn’t Jace’s… _fuck._

Jace bended over to pick it up and Alec panicked. “Wait! It’s fine, I got it.”

Alec rushed over and pushed Jace out of the way to pick up Magnus’ phone. If Jace touched it and got a better look at it, he would definitely know it wasn’t Alec’s.

With the phone firmly clutched to his chest, Alec strode towards the bathroom door and opened it slowly. He flipped the light on and Magnus—now, rubbing his forehead—came into focus.

Alec raised his eyebrow as he shut the door and locked it. “I was trying to listen,” Magnus whispered, “and the door banged into me when you opened it.”

“Sorry,” Alec replied, pulling Magnus into a hug. “Oh!” He presented a black iPhone to Magnus who gladly took it.

Magnus smiled softly and pocketed his phone.

“I’m sorry,” Alec said after a few seconds. He leaned his forehead against Magnus’ and closed his eyes.

“It’s okay. You got me my phone back.”

“No,” Alec sighed frustrated. “I’m sorry about _this_.” He took a step back and waved his arms around. “I’m sorry about hiding and pushing you in here. This is not how I wanted to start a relationship.”

“I understand,” Magnus whispered softly. “We talked about this earlier, didn’t we? I know you’re not out yet, and I know we should probably keep it from the boys until everything between us is definite. It’s okay, Alexander.”

Alec looked up to Magnus’ face. He had a small smile and inviting eyes. Magnus opened his arms for him.

Alec gladly walked into them and wrapped his arms around Magnus’ back. Magnus began rubbing his hand on Alec’s back. “We’re good, okay?” Alec nodded and leaned his head on Magnus’ shoulder.

He kissed the skin there once, twice, before pulling away. “Thank you,” he mumbled.

Magnus nodded. “So, how am I getting out of here without being noticed?”

Alec shrugged. “You’re going to walk right out.” He slipped out of Magnus’ arms and flushed the toilet to keep up appearances. “Since the front door is perpendicular to the bathroom door, I think if I open both doors, you can leave without Jace seeing you

“But he’d here me leaving. The door isn’t exactly quiet.”

“I’ll make something up,” he said and turned the sink on. The water ran as Magnus talked.

“Oh, yes, because you were so good at making something up earlier,” Magnus stated.

The lightness in Magnus’ voice made Alec grin. “It’ll be better this time.” The turned the water off and went over towards the door.

“You’re lucky that I won’t be able to hear what you say.” Magnus’ smile made Alec’s heart flutter. “You could completely blow our cover, and I would be none the wiser.”

“You have so little faith in me,” Alec pouted as he took a step closer to Magnus.

Magnus let out a soft laugh as he kissed Alec on the lips. “I have the utmost faith in you, darling.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow,” Magnus nodded.

“Maybe ‘Tomorrow’ will be our ‘Always’.”

Magnus groaned softly and rolled his eyes with a smile. “Where did I find you?”

“In your room at camp,” Alec replied, eyes shining.

Just so he could have the last word, Alec ripped the bathroom door open. Before shutting the light off, he caught Magnus’ glare. It wasn’t icy like the beginning of the season. This was light and soft, despite Magnus’ intentions.

Alec stuck his tongue out and opened the front door that lead to the carpeted hallway. Magnus slipped past him into the hallway.

“Alec, that you?” Jace asked from his bed.

“Yeah.” Alec watched as Magnus twisted his head around to wink at Alec. “Just making sure the Do Not Disturb sign wasn’t on the front. We need to be up early.”

“Good idea. Hey, is it safe to go in there?”

“Crystal clear,” Alec replied as he shut the door.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooo! It's a bit of a shorter one, but it's also a (mainly?) sweet one! 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy itt <3 Thanks for reading!
> 
> Sneak peek on Tuesday/Wednesday and new update Friday! #FtLotG

Ever since their run in with Jace, Alec and Magnus had tried to be more careful about where they met.

Another week passed and they’ve been almost too discreet.

Jace, from his apartment, has a great view of the front of the building, so if he looked outside, he’d definitely be able to see Magnus. Of course, Alec knew he should tell his best friend about he and Magnus, but he wanted to keep it a secret. If that made him a coward, then Magnus hadn’t said anything about it, and Alec definitely wouldn’t either.

 Alec could’ve went to Magnus’, but Magnus never asked.

Their hotel rooms were always filled with the wrong people, so they never found a good opportunity to meet again.

Alec knew his excuses were shitty, but he thought the universe was trying to keep them apart.

[][][][][]

Magnus kept shooting Alec glances in the locker room.

It’s not that Alec didn’t like the attention he was getting from his… friend who he was going to start dating, it was just that Alec was terrified.

He wanted to turn around and smile back at Magnus, and he wanted to be able to walk up to him and have a conversation, but he couldn’t. Yet.

This is what he hated about being in relationships. It wasn’t fair to Magnus, he knew, but for some reason, Magnus still accepted him. Which made Alec’s heart flutter.

“Bane keeps looking over here. Did you fix things like I told you to?” Jace asked him.

Alec shrugged. “We talked,” he replied, his focus on hanging his suit up on its hanger.

“So?” Jace leaned in closer to Alec so he could whisper. “Are you cool now? He keeps smiling over here.”

“Yeah,” Alec smiled lightly. “We’re alright.”

“Okaaaay,” Jace sang in his ear.

Defensively, he turned back towards Jace. “And why do we suddenly always talk about me? What about you and Clary? You never say anything about you two.”

“Hey! That’s because you never ask,” Jace replied with a pointed finger at Alec’s chest.

Alright, so he deserved that. “You win,” he said with a straight face. “So, how are you both? Still together?”

“ _Yes,_ we’re _still_ together.” Jace leaned over to lace his skates up and looked at Alec over his arm. “We’re doing well. I think Simon would threaten to kill me if we weren’t.”

Alec glanced at Simon who was still changing out on the other side of the locker room. “No kidding. He’s still getting used to it all, huh?”

“You have no idea,” he groaned. “He asks me about her all the time as if he’s _not_ her best friend and knows everything already.” He switches his feet to tie his other laces. “I mean, you know Lewis, he’s not a scary person, right? But I swear I saw fire in his eyes when Clary told him we were together. Kinda freaked me out.”

Alec’s eye brows shot up as he started lacing his skates next to Jace. “You were there?”

“Mmhmm! It was right before the party at my place. She showed up before you did. I kissed her cheek and guess who chose _that_ exact moment to walk in? Yup, Simon Lewis.” Jace huffed and looked up at his girlfriend’s best friend. “I don’t think he believes we’ll last. I think that’s why he’s so upset about it.”

Alec patted Jace’s back with a hand before switching to tie his other laces. “That’s tough, bro. Either that, or he’s in love with her.”

“Don’t you dare go there, Lightwood.” Alec held his hands up in surrender. “Besides, she’s definitely _not_ in love with him.”

Alec hummed as their conversation died down. Coach came in not long after to push them out for their short 15-minute practice before the game, then again for when they had to line up in the hallway next to the ice for their names to be called out for the game.

Alec was at the end of the team’s clump trying to stretch one last time before hitting the ice. He’s had to pay special attention to his shoulder now. A couple seasons ago, he was smashed into the boards so hard, it dislocated. The medical staff benched him for three weeks of pure torture. They told him he should’ve stayed out longer, but he was a determined man when it came to his sport. It was hard to watch your team play without you.

“Hey…” There was a tap on Alec’s back.

He whipped around and found Magnus looking up slightly at him. Their height difference would normally excite Alec—he loved being taller—but now it scared him. He wasn’t sure why.

“I thought we could talk?” He just stared wide-eyed at Magnus for a few seconds.

He panicked.

His heart raced.

He looked away.

He walked away.

His heart raced in the worst kind of way.

When Alec was finally a good distance from him, Alec could finally breathe properly again. He rubbed his fingers together and itched to hold his bracelet.

His face was neutral, but his heart was a mess. Alec fucked up again.

Magnus didn’t try to talk to him for the rest of the night. Alec didn’t know what was worse, the fact that he knew he was a complete idiot, or the fact that _Magnus_ definitely thought that.

[][][][][]

_Sorry that I didn’t—_

Alec backspaced on his phone.

_Sorry that I’m not—_

He backspaced again.

_Sorry, I know I’m an ass—_

Alec grunted and tossed his phone across his bed. The dark blue comforter lost its fluff when his phone finally landed. He’d try texting Magnus again when he actually had something good to say.

He chucked his hockey bag onto the floor by his closet and moved towards his drawers for his bedwear.

Once changed, he padded out to the kitchen for a drink and small dinner. It was almost 11pm and he knew he needed sleep, but he was starving.

He swung his fridge door open and grabbed the Gatorade bottle in front of him. As if he were still on ice, he squirted the blue drink into his mouth, lips never touching the orange mouth piece. He twisted the top closed even though he knew he’d drink more tonight and pulled out left over pizza from a few nights ago. He tossed it on one of his clean plates and popped it into the microwave.

Alec leaned his back against the granite counter top behind him. The lights were dimmed in the kitchen, but he still closed his eyes from the brightness. Crossing his arms, he allowed himself to just _be_.

He sighed and walked quietly back to his bedroom. He crouched down by his black gear bag with the Islanders logo etched into it on its side. He unzipped it and reached into the side pocket and pulled out his bracelet. The rainbow came into view and everything seemed much clearer.

He was about to go back to the kitchen to take his pizza out of the beeping microwave, when his phone started ringing. It wasn’t just a call though, someone was trying to Facetime him.

He picked his phone off his bed and saw Magnus’ name. He instantly pressed the _Accept_ button and Magnus’ face came into view.

“Hello,” Alec said timidly as he started down the hallway to his kitchen.

Magnus’ pixelated face cleared up and Alec drew in a breath. Magnus was still beautiful even through a phone. The right winger smiled and the skin by his eyes crinkled slightly. Alec’s heart melted. “Hi, darling. Sorry if this is too late.”

“It’s not!” he said a little too rushed. “I was just about to eat some leftovers.” He held his phone and bracelet in one hand as he took the plate with his pizza out of the microwave with the other. “What are you doing?”

“Just laying down. Wanted to _actually_ talk to you.”

Alec’s heart clenched as he set his plate down on the counter. “About that…”

He sat on the barstool and placed his phone propped up against the yellow center piece his mother bought for him when he moved in. “This room needs color,” she insisted. It was ugly in Alec’s opinion—and just because of the color— but he kept it because his mom bought it for him and he cherished everything his parents did for him. He always feared that one day he wouldn’t lose them to death like other children did, but he’d lose them because of something just as permanent.

“Magnus, I am so sorry about today. I- I just freaked out. I’m going to work on it, I promise. I’m going to get over my shit. How I treated you _again_ is killing me,” he sighed, disappointed in himself again.

“I’m not mad, Alexander. I know changing how the brain thinks isn’t going to work in two weeks.” There was rustling on his end as he changed positions, phone no longer hanging over his head. Now, Magnus was on his side and his hair flopped over his face. He moved it with his empty hand.

Looking down now at his Gatorade, Alec untwisted it. “You’re giving me too much credit. I’ve been treating you nothing but horribly.”

As he squeezed the bottle into his mouth, Magnus said, “You have to remember that I’ve known you for a long time. I know how you are. You’re very… obstinate. But I know you’ll make it right just like you did with what happened at camp. Again, I’m not mad. Besides,” a smile grew on Magnus’ face again, “you still owe me that date. I’m going to get it out of you one way or another.”

“That, I can most definitely do.” Confidence and reassurance back in Alec’s mind, he picked his cooling pizza up and folded it in half before taking a bite.

“That’s so weird…”

Half way to his second bite, Alec stopped. “What is?”

Magnus looked fascinated through the phone. “The way you fold your pizza. I didn’t realize that was actually a thing that people did.”

Alec scoffed and rolled his eyes. “You’re from Cali. Of course, you don’t fold your pizza like a _normal_ person. We, _native_ New Yorkers, are smart! Folding it keeps the insides from going _splat_ all over the plate and it also acts as a natural draining system for the grease if you tilt it the right way.” He demonstrated how, orange grease falling out by the crust onto the plate, and took another bite with a satisfied moan.

“Doesn’t it fuck up your slice?” Alec smiled at Magnus cursing.

“Not at all. But even if it did, it doesn’t matter,” he shrugged, “because it’s all going to the same place: my stomach.” He reached for a napkin on his counter and dabbed at his mouth.

Magnus hummed and took a deeper breath. “ _Anyways_ ,” he drawled, “Back to our _date_ , I’m thinking it could be maybe sometime next week? My place? I can make a mean dinner.”

Alec’s eyebrows popped up. “You can cook?”

“My mom taught me most of what I know.” Alec smiled fondly. He remembered how incredible she was to him when he was younger. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not claiming to be a gourmet chef, but I can work my way around a kitchen.”

“Speaking of, how is your mom? It’s been so long…”

Magnus’ face dropped into a vulnerable expression. “My mom, uh—” Magnus sighed. “She passed away five years ago.”

Alec’s heart clenched and he dropped his pizza onto the plate. “Shit, Magnus. I’m so sorry—”  _that I wasn’t there for you when you needed me the most_. “She was always so great to me.”

Magnus smiled and gave a reserved chuckle. “That’s because she really liked you. You always brought her a gift when you visited us or when I came to you.”

Alec laughed. “I couldn’t not! She was letting me, someone she didn’t know well, stay in her home.”

Magnus’ mouth dropped open. “Now you’re making me sound horrible! I never brought your parents anything,” he huffed.

Alec’s heart leaped. He wanted so desperately to hug Magnus right now. He wanted to have his hand on Magnus’ back to comfort him as they reminisced and he wanted to kiss his forehead. It didn’t have to be sexual—it wasn’t what he wanted in this moment—but Alec just wanted to touch him. “You didn’t have to. Promise. I think they were just glad that I had a friend.”

Magnus grinned. “I don’t think my mother ever threw out that origami bird you made her. Remember when we went to that one-day workshop in California? She was so upset that it was just for teens.” 

Alec barked out a laugh. “That bird was a piece of shit! I don’t think I remember how to make anything from that class.” He shook his head with a smile, pizza completely forgotten. “Why did we go again?”

“To, ‘learn something other than how to check men into the boards,’ I believe were my mom’s exact words.”

“Wise one, she was,” Alec replied with a soft sigh. “I didn’t know her that well, but I’m glad to have met her.” The soft, thankful smile on Magnus’ face pushed Alec onto his feet to throw out his remaining pizza. If he looked at Magnus for one more second, he would grab his keys and drive to Magnus’, not caring for a second how late it was. “What about your stepfather?” Alec hollered from the trash can.

He turned around just in time to see Magnus shrug. “I haven’t really talked to him since my mom passed. I was already living in San Diego with my AHL team… He never called me, so I never bothered with him.” Alec frowned as he walked back towards his phone, plate in the sink. He held his Gatorade and bracelet in his left hand and phone in his right as he shut off the kitchen lights and made his way to the bedroom. “Really, it’s no big deal. He was always kind of a dick to me anyway. How’s your parents?”

Alec hummed and crawled onto the left side of his bed, where Magnus was holding his own phone. He could almost pretend that Magnus was lying next to him. He wondered if Magnus thought the same way. “Oh, you know… Still working at the firm. Dragged Isabelle into it too. I was fortunate enough to find a better paying job or else I would probably be there too.”

Magnus chuckled tiredly as he closed his eyes a second too long to be fully awake. “I like your sister. She’s much different than I thought she’d be.”

“Oh, yeah?” He felt something bubble inside, instantly wanting to fall back into their old, flirting way. “What’d you think she’d be like?”

“The curious little child I met so many years ago. She’s all grown up now with a great fashion sense, might I add.”

“Yeah,” Alec yawned. “She claims to be the best dressed in the office. But Max, my little brother—do you remember him? —says that the best dressed is mom. What a kiss up, he is.”

“I remember him. He was so young.” With another yawn, Magnus must’ve lifted up his blanket because all Alec could see was his white ceiling. “Sorry, hang on.”

Magnus came back into view and Alec almost whimpered in awe. He looked so damned cuddly. Alec wanted to run his fingers in his hair and nuzzle his face against Magnus’ neck. “You should probably sleep.”

Magnus replied, “I should,” rasp clear in his voice. Alec almost shivered and wished he was under his own duvet. But he was so tired.

“Yeah, yeah. See you in a couple days, Magnus.” He blew a lazy kiss through the phone.

With a smile, Magnus caught it and replied, “See you soon, darling.” A second later, he hung up.

With no energy left himself, that’s how he fell asleep: on top of the comforter with his phone and rainbow bracelet clutched in hand.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Friiiday! 
> 
> Hello gorgeous people. I'm super excited for you to read this on! Good idea for what's to come ;)
> 
> Sneak peek on my twitter on Tuesday/Wednesday (I KNOW I FORGOT THIS PREVIOUS SP, I'M SORRY) and new update on Friday! <3

“I did _not_ just watch that,” Max said, mouth open wide. His eyes scanned over Izzy and Alec who looked like replicas of him.

“Did Rachel just turn _him_ , Mr. McPerfect, down because he didn’t want to get married after a couple months of dating?”

Max turned back towards the TV. “What an _idiot_. She just wanted the ring! Twitter agrees with me. I’m never watching The Bachelorette ever again!”

Alec shook his head as he watched Bryan get down on his knee in front of the live studio audience. With a roll of his eyes, he grabbed the remote to turn off the TV. “You say that every year, Max.”

“But now I _mean_ it!” Max groaned and grasped the bowl of chips off the coffee table and started munching.

Sweetly, Isabelle replied, “Of course, you do, Maxie.” Then she turned to Alec. “Enough about that travesty. Alec, tell us about your blooming love life!” She clapped her hands together excitedly and pulled the throw blanket closer to her body.

Alec scoffed and rolled his eyes. “That’s hardly what it is yet, Iz.”

“ _Yet_ ,” she repeated. “But, soon right? I want you happy, big brother, you know that.”

“I know,” he replied softly and turned to face his body towards her. “I _am_ happy. Things are good for now between us. We’re still going slow, but we have our first date coming up.”

Max whistled from the other couch, the one Max claimed for himself every time he visited his brother. “That’s the first step, bro. This Magnus guy better treat you good.”

“He will—he _does_. We haven’t had much alone time, but he always been incredible to me.”

Max sipped on his drink before replying. “Incredible in the three months you’ve known him? I just don’t want him getting any other ideas, if you know what I mean,” he drawled.

_Three months?_

Then it dawned on Alec that Max _still_ didn’t remember they’ve met before. That _this_ Magnus was the _same_ Magnus that visited for two straight years while on school vacation. The same Magnus that Max met while he, Izzy and their parents went up to Canada for Alec’s final camp game each summer.

But getting into that right now with Max would be too much effort to explain.

Instead, Alec ignored it and widened his eyes at his brother’s hidden meaning. “Jesus, Max. I know what you mean. And no, Magnus isn’t like that. Look at you being all protective though.”

“Eh.” Max shrugged and set his phone down on the arm of the couch. “I thought I’d try it out.” Then a small grew on his face. “But really, Alec, I don’t want your heart getting broken the first time you try to give it to someone.”

Alec’s heart tightened and a grin spread on his face. “Max,” Alec spoke softly, “that’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

Max winced and pretended to throw up. “Ew. I promise to not make a habit of it,” he joked.

Just as Max picked his phone up again, Alec ran over to him and threw his arms over his brothers body. “Max, you love me!”

Chuckling, Max hugged him back from his laying position. “No, I don’t.”

“You do!” Alec could hear the smile in his own voice and it was strange. Alec wouldn’t say he was unhappy, but recently, he hadn’t been himself much. “Stop acting like a teenager and say you loooove meeeee.”

Alec’s arms were still tight around Max’s body and Max wiggled underneath him. “But I _am_ a teenager! I can’t break my hard exterior now. I still have two years of high school left!”

Still smiling, Alec pulled back slightly and left a wet kiss against Max’s cheek. “I know. Don’t grow up anymore.”

Happily, his brother said, “Sorry, Alec, but I can’t help it! Puberty is hitting me like a train.”

“Hey!” Izzy half-shouted from the other couch. “I want in on all this sibling love,” she pouted. She made a motion like she was getting ready to jump on Alec who was still on Max, but she gently pushed into them and threw her arms around them both.

“Happy?’ Max and Alec said simultaneously.

With a giggle, she replied, “Yup!”

[][][][][} 

Magnus looked good today, then again, Magnus always looked good. But today, Alec couldn’t keep his eyes off him.

Their guest locker room grew steamier as Alec looked across the room at him. Without noticing, his feet started moving.

With his gear already on, Alec tapped on Magnus’ back, who in return whipped his head around. Magnus raised his eyebrows and cocked his head to the side surprised.

“Hey,” Alec said. Lee turned towards them slightly, but then went back to changing into his jersey. Alec had no doubt that he would continue to listen in. Alec wondered how foreign this was to watch.

“Hey,” Magnus replied, probably unsure of how long Alec wanted to talk around others.

“Um.” Alec reached out and grabbed Magnus’ arm, dragging him past the showers and towards the toilet stalls. Magnus’ let himself be pulled along. “Hi,” Alec said more shyly once they were out of ear shot of the team.

Chuckling, Magnus looked down before looking back up at Alec’s face. “Hi, but I think we said that already.”

“We did…” Finally dropping Magnus’ arm, he took a step back when he saw Matthews looking their way. “Um, sorry. I know I told you, like, a week ago that I was going to work on this public thing.” Alec took a breath and huffed. “And I just freaked out before because I didn’t know what to say that wasn’t about our past or our—”

“Alexander, it’s okay,” Magnus said with a small smile. “It’s a start; progress. And,” he shrugged, leaning in closer, “whisking me off to the back of the locker room is sexy.”

Eyes gone wide, Alec snickered. “Magnus! That’s not what I intended.” A small smile played on his lips.

“Oh, I know,” Magnus said with a smirk, shoulder bumping lightly onto Alec’s. “I wanted to see your reaction.” Quieter, he said, “It was the correct one, by the way.”

Alec, smile growing wider, had to stop himself from reaching out for Magnus’ hand like his body desperately wanted him to do. “I’m so glad that I was able to fit your expectations.”

Softer, Magnus replied, “You always do. Yet in doing so, you continue to surprise me.” Looking over Alec’s shoulder towards their teammates, Magnus took a step back. “Shall we get back? Coach came in. And a few of the guys are looking at us.”

Alec took a breath as his smile started dropping. “Yeah, let’s go.”

“Thank you, Alexander.”

Alec wasn’t sure what for, but he said, “You’re welcome,” in reply.

[][][][][]

“Are you sure about this?”

Magnus pushed into Alec and Jace’s hotel room just before Alec stuck his head out to see if anyone saw.

“Is Jace out for taco’s again?” Magnus chuckled as Alec gently shut the door behind them. Magnus sat on the black, elegant office chair and spun around in circles.

Alec walked over and leaned his hip on the desk next to Magnus and watched. “Yes and no. Yes, I am _definitely_ sure I want you here. And no, Jace dropped his bag off and ran out the door, but not for taco’s.”

“Damnit,” Magnus pouted as he stopped spinning, leaning his chin on his hand. “I would’ve texted him for a couple.”

“Poor thing.” Alec faked a frown. “You’ll have to settle for just me.”

Magnus craned his head up. “Two things: One, being here with you is not me ‘settling’ for you. You’re incredible and I will not accept you knowing any less. Two…” Magnus leaned back in his chair and looked up at Alec with his arms crossed over his chest. “are you implying that I don’t believe you’re just as tasty as food?”

Eyes wide, Alec’s mouth dropped open. “Magnus!”

“Because if I remember correctly, Alexander, you taste like what I believe heaven would be like.”

Alec groaned and covered his face with his hands. “Magnus,” he drawled. “You can’t just say things like that to me.”

With a smirk, Magnus sat up in the chair and stood up in front of Alec. “Can’t say things like, ‘I want to taste you on my tongue again.’? Or,” Magnus slid his hands down Alec’s arms slowly, “things like, ‘I want you underneath me.’?”

 Alec bit his bottom lip and gazed into his eyes. “Magnus, unless you intend on putting those words into action…”

Magnus’ eyes met Alec’s. Pulling on the left wingers arms, Magnus dragged him backwards towards the bed. “Oh, I fully intend on making both come true.”

“You do?”

Magnus flipped them so the back of Alec’s knees were touching his bed. “I do.” Then, Magnus pushed him backwards and he was soon lying flat against the bed.

“I don’t know how much time we have.”

Magnus crawled onto the bed on top of Alec. “Put a sock on the door.” Magnus kissed along Alec’s jaw.

Magnus’ lips were on him again after so long and it felt incredible. Alec slid his hands along Magnus’ back and rubbed his fingers along the smooth skin. A shiver ran through Magnus’ body and Alec sighed.

Moving further up on the bed, Magnus slipped Alec’s shirt off as the latter laid against the duvet. Magnus tossed it somewhere as he licked along Alec’s collar bone. Alec moaned slightly as Magnus straddled his lower half, heat and heaviness weighing down on him.

Alec’s hand clawed at the back of Magnus’ shirt but never pulled it up because Magnus’ mouth on his chest felt too good right now. Alec hummed and whispered Magnus’ name.

With a deep raspy voice, Magnus looked up through his eyelashes and said, “Say it again.”

Alec slipped his hand into Magnus’ hair. “Magnus,” he groaned. “Your mouth has always been incredible.”

With that, Magnus licked at his nipple and sent pleasure-filled shivers down his spine.

Falling into their old routine was easier than they both thought. Alec had a way of knowing exactly what Magnus would do next while still being surprised when he felt each new sensation. Despite both not being with each other for years, they knew exactly what the other liked.

Magnus ran his hands down Alec’s sides and over his stomach. “Still so beautiful, Alexander.”

“Don’t tease me,” Alec grunted. “I’ve waited so long to touch you again.” He pulled at the back of Magnus’ shirt. Magnus complied and lifted his hands off Alec for a brief second, then quickly put them back when his shirt was somewhere on the floor along with Alec’s.

“Happy now?”

Alec, almost mesmerized, ran his palm over Magnus’ abs up and down. “Almost,” he replied in a daze as he pressed his hand harder against Magnus.

Then, Magnus scooted his body further down Alec. Alec groaned and let his heavy head sink into the blanket as Magnus’ covered ass slid over his dick. “Fuck,” he sighed. “It’s been so long.”

Magnus being the tease Alec knew he was, experimentally rubbed his body against Alec’s again. Alec swore again, mind going blank. “Have you ever…?”

“Yeah. Been a while though,” Alec replied. Magnus leaned his body down so his was parallel with Alec’s again.

Magnus’ breath tingled against Alec’s ear. “Let’s change that, hmm?”

Magnus started grinding against him again, a tempo in place now. The pressure wasn’t the best, but Alec didn’t care. Never did he think he and Magnus would _ever_ be in this position again, but yet, here they are. Alec wouldn’t change it for the world.

His dick slowly hardened in his pants as Magnus’ thrusts continued. Alec ran a hand over Magnus’ back. If he had nails, they would be scraping the hell out of Magnus right now. In that moment, he regretted having to cut them so short for his sport.

Magnus’ mouth found his again and Alec groaned as he licked against Magnus’ tongue. “Alexander,” Magnus murmured into his mouth. “You’re sinful.”

Magnus ran a finger over his nipple and Alec shuddered.

“Can I?” Magnus asked.

Mind blank, Alec couldn’t think. “Yes. Do it.” Alec would allow Magnus anything. Magnus brought his hands down to Alec’s sweatpants and tugged at the edges.

"Whoa! Hey! Well this is awkward."

Alec and Magnus froze. “Fuck,” Alec groaned quietly for only Magnus to hear. Magnus slowly slid to Alec's side and they both looked towards the edge of the bed, Alec now raised onto his elbows. 

Jace stood there with his hotel key in hard, eyebrows raised and smirk on his face. 

Alec, stunned and still in shock, had a whirlwind of emotions running through him. He knew Jace knew about everything, but that didn't stop his anxiety. He looked to Jace’s side and prayed no one followed him in. "Please," he demanded. "Get out."

"But this is my room," he said smugly. He kept glancing between Alec and Magnus—both still frozen. “And you’re on my bed… Gross, bro. We’re clearly changing beds tonight.”

"Get. Out," Alec said again, more forceful this time. He looked at Jace's chest instead of his face. Alec wasn’t surprised that his dick was suddenly… deflated.

Looking, again, quickly between them, Jace hastily said, "Yup," and scurried out the door. 

Alec didn't relax until he heard the door latch shut. He let his head hang backward with a groan and the top of it grazed the pillow. He felt Magnus move on his side. 

"Moments ruined." Magnus' voice was raspy from kissing and Alec thought he could probably get hard again just from that. 

But then he would probably think about Jace again and... he'd rather not. Instead, he hummed in agreement and let his upper body fall onto the mattress again. Alec fixed his pants and rearraigned his dick. “You wanted to go slow anyway.”

He finally looked at Magnus who was looking at him. His body was about a head below Alec's, so it was easy for him to lean over and kiss Magnus on his head. He saw Magnus' smile when he pulled back and his stomach filled with butterflies. He couldn't help but smile back. “Yeah, what an idiot I was. I take that back, by the way. Be prepared for me to jump your bones.”

Chuckling, Alec flipped onto his side and pulled Magnus into his arms, both facing each other. He tossed his leg over top Magnus'. 

"I see you still have that leg thing," Magnus whispered with a smile and wrapped his arms around Alec's back. 

Alec chucked. Ever since he was a child, he'd always loved when his leg was elevated or bent while in bed. He often left bruises on his parents' bodies when he ran into their bed as a young child from a nightmare or because Isabelle was a loud snorer. "I don't think that'll ever go away."

"Now that you're waaayyy taller than you were in camp, does that mean I won’t ever sleep at night because you'll be cuddling me like a koala?" 

"Koala's are cute," Alec replied defensively. "They're cute, little-cuddling, brown-grey bear things. Don't hate on koala's." He stuck his bottom lip out and pouted. 

Magnus pecked his lips with his own and smiled. "Koala's carry chlamydia, darling." 

"Good thing I'm not a koala then, huh?" Alec gave a cheesy grin as he glanced up towards Magnus.

"Yeah, good thing," Magnus teased, rubbing his hands around Alec's back in soothing circled. “Remember the first time we properly spoke to each other? And I’m not talking about when Coach DeHann first introduced us in our dorm room, but the _first_ time.”

Alec groaned. “Uh, yeah. How could I forget?”

“You fainted… straight into my arms from over exertion on the ice. You know, if you wanted my attention that badly, you didn’t have to go to such extremes. You could’ve just climbed into my bed at night.” He shrugged against Alec.

Alec let out a whine and pulled away from Magnus. “I was dehydrated. It had nothing to do with you—don’t flatter yourself, Mags.”

Magnus waved his hand around languidly. “You say poe-tay-toe, I say poe-tah-toe. Either way, you talked to me.”

Alec relaxed back into Magnus’ arms. “All I did was say thank you for catching me. I could’ve hit my head and been out for a concussion or something if you hadn’t been there.”

Magnus kissed his forehead and rubbed at the skin on his back. “I was your roommate. You were going to have to talk to me soon enough.”

“And, boy, did I. You got me into so much trouble during the summers,” Alec said with a fond smile as he thought back. “I have some of the best memories with you at camp.”

“We snuck out and got shit-faced—”

“—Started food fights in the cafeteria—”

“—Went skinny dipping in that lake—”

“Oh, God,” Alec laughed. “We did! How did we never get kicked out? I’m sure we were in the head Coach’s office more than everyone combined.”

Magnus tried to shrug against him. “I can tell you one thing, though. That last year after graduation when you weren’t there, it was the worst. They roomed me with some new guy. Daniel Jones.” Magnus scoffed and rolled his eyes. “God, he was incredibly boring. At least you wanted to be adventurous. This guy was like a fish out of water when he wasn’t on the ice.”

Alec hummed as guilt rushed over him. He told himself he wasn’t going to do that anymore, but when it came to Magnus being sad because of what he did, he wouldn’t let it go. “I don’t know his name. Not in the NHL?”

Magnus shook his head. “I don’t even think he made it to AHL yet.”

“Poor guy,” Alec said, almost sympathetically. He wouldn’t lie when he said he was jealous this guy took his bed once he left the camp. He didn’t want to know him.

Manus tried to shrug again. “I don’t care as long as I have you next to me.”

Alec’s heart fluttered. “You’re a sap,” Alec said pulling away, looking Magnus in the eyes. “It’s a good color on you, babe.”

A smile spread along Magnus’ face. “‘Babe’?”

With a shrug, Alec sunk back down. “I’m trying it out.”

“I like it.”

“Good.”

Then, there was a knock on the door and the sound of the keycard slipping in the lock. A tiny crack opened as Jace’s voice rang out. “Alec? Is it safe?”

Alec sighed. “Yeah, but hang on.”

The door shut and Alec allowed himself a few more seconds of laying in Magnus’ arms. Magnus rolled off the bed. “We’re still on for this week, right?”

“This week?” Alec searched his brain. “What’s th—Oh! Our date!” he said a little too fast. “Yes! I promise I didn’t forget.”

Magnus chuckled as he slid his shirt over his head and arms. “I hope not! I have everything planned already.

Alec stepped off the bed and walked towards Magnus with a smile. “Oh? Care to share?”

“Nope, not yet, darling. It’s a surprise.” Magnus grabbed his phone off the floor where his shirt was before they walked towards the door together.

Alec smiled lightly and look Magnus’ hand in his. “I know whatever it is, I’ll love it.”

“I hope so.” Magnus smiled up at him and Alec leaned down to kiss him one last time.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Magnus nodded. “Definitely.”

When Magnus was finally gone, Jace replaced him.

“So? How long? Also, a date? I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!” Jace flopped onto his—previously Alec’s—bed. “Also, if you’re going to have sex, I’ll appreciate it if you’d lock the door next time.”

Alec, laying back on his bed, looked up at the ceiling as he answered Jace. “A month. Yes, a date—our first one. I’m sorry. I kind of liked keeping it a secret. And we didn’t have sex. We didn’t do anything after you left.”

Jace shot into a sitting position. “A month? Dude, you’ve been together a _month_ and didn’t _tell_ me?”

Alec flipped onto his side to face Jace. “You said so yourself with Clary, I wanted to wait until I knew things were definite. It’s harder with us than you.”

“Damn… So, all those times I tried to convince you to talk, you’ve been secretly sucking each other’s faces off behind scenes?”

“Basically?” Alec formed it as a question because he wasn’t even sure himself what he was going for.

Jace shook his head. “Sneaky, sneaky, Lightwood. And here I thought you couldn’t keep anything from me.”

Alec rolled his eyes. “Don’t flatter yourself, Jace. You’ve almost caught us before, actually.”

Jace laid back down and faced Alec with a cocky, shit-eating grin. “Uh, correction: I did catch you. Right now. Red-handed.” Scrunching his eye brows, he thought for a second. “Magnus handed? I caught you Magnus handed.”

Alec rolled his eyes at his friend. “You know what I mean,” he said with a groan, placing his phone on the side table once he checked the alarm was on.

“I do,” Jace sang back. “First date this week?”

Alec’s heart fluttered as he fell back onto his back with a smile. “Yeah. First one ever with him. I’m nervous and excited.”

“Eh.” Jace waved a dismissive hand at him. “You’ll be fine. Especially if you were halfway to getting it on tonight.”

Alec hummed in agreement. “Maybe,” he said. “We’ve never—he and I.”

“I say you’ve waited long enough, bro.”

More butterflies filled Alec’s stomach. “I agree.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! Malec's first date next chapter! 
> 
> Come yell at me on Twitter: @malecsdaddari0


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Friday! 
> 
> I really hope you like this chapter! It's a special one not just for me, but also Malec <3 
> 
> Thanks for reading still! 
> 
> Sneak peek for 14 on Tuesday/Wednesday and new update on Friday! <3 #FtLotG

_Im booorreeedddd. Come overrrrrr_.

Alec rolled his eyes at Jace’s text. He sent a quick reply back.

_Can’t! Date night :D_

His phone buzzed from where it laid on his bed.

_Booooo u. Hope you have a good time tho_

Alec was about to reply when there was a loud bang on his door. _Thank youu_ , he typed out as he moved towards the front door.

He swung it open to reveal Isabelle and Max on the other side. Izzy pushed her way in and took long strides down the hallway. When she realized Alec wasn’t following her right away, she called out, “Alec! Come on.”

The boys followed her into his bedroom. “Why are we here, Iz? Not that I don’t like seeing you, Alec,” Max said to him, “but I’m supposed to be meeting D.J. in like, an hour. So, this has to be quick.”

“Don’t worry, little brother,” Isabelle said as she opened Alec’s closet door. “You’ll be with your friend soon enough. Right now, I need to get Alec dressed.”

“But I didn’t call you over…” Alec’s voice tapered off as his sister turned around slowly to glare at him. “I totally want you here though,” he quickly added.

With a nod, Izzy turned back around and started to move around his clothes hanging.

“Alright, whatever. I’m going to watch TV,” Max said as he left the room.

Alec sat on the edge of his bed and clicked on Magnus’ name in his texts. _Hey :)_ , he said.

He quickly got a reply that said, _Hello, Alexander. 6 o’clock tonight, correct?_

_Yup! I’ll be there!_

He hit send and looked up towards his sister who had a few shirts hanging on her arm. She pushed them onto him when she came over. “Try these on,” she said. “They’ll all look great with tight black jeans.”

Alec tossed the shirts next to him on the bed. “Tight? I don’t have tight _anything_.”

Isabelle raised an eyebrow at him and held up a bag. “Do you not think that I _know_ that already?”

Alec groaned and grabbed the bag out of her hand. He pulled his LIGHTWOOD t-shirt off and pulled on one of the button down’s his sister gave him.

Izzy draped herself over his bed with her hand on her head dramatically. “Can you believe Simon and I will be going out on our ninth date already?”

Alec buttoned his shirt and turned for Izzy to look at him. She shook her head and he began to unbutton. “Ninth already?” he asked. “Have you been going out every week?”

Through the dresser mirror he saw her try to shrug. “I guess. We had a great first couple dates, so why not.”

Turning around so she could see the second option, Alec tried to fix the collar. Isabelle rolled her eyes and stood to help him. “You even like him with all his nerdy hockey talk?”

She scoffed as she flapped the collar down. “I hear that from you all the time. Nothing new.” She patted his chest and turned him around by the shoulders so he could look in the mirror. “I like this one,” she said.

“If you say so. The color is nice.”

She pulled the back of the shirt down and tossed the black pants at his back. “No, I mean yes. I like the shirt, wear it. But I meant Simon. I really like him. He’s so… dreamy. Nerdy hockey talk and all.”

Alec wasn’t sure what happened to him in that moment, but his heart broke and felt completely whole at the same time. “I’m so glad that you like him.” He turned and gave her an awkward hug, pants still in the way. “I know he’s really into you too.”

She pulled away slightly and removed the pants from his shoulders. “I know we’ve been together for only a couple months now, but I really feel good about it. I want him to meet mom and dad.”

Shocked because Isabelle never brought anyone to their parents, Alec’s eyebrows rose. “You do? That’s big, Iz.”

Her smile grew wider. “I know! Do you think they’ll like him? Max will, I’m sure of it.”

“Oh, you know how they are,” he said, taking the jeans and his phone as he walked back towards the bathroom. “They’ll be great to him. I’m sure they’ll like him.”

Alec’s phone buzzed in his hand as he shut the bathroom door behind him.

_I might have forgotten to give you my address_ , Magnus said with his address following. _See you then, Alexander_.

[][][][][]

With a flutter in his stomach, Alec looked at his watch—6:00 pm on the dot— and knocked on Magnus’ door.

The apartment number stared back at him as he waited. A minute passed without a reply. Did he have the right number?

Alec pulled out his phone and checked Magnus’ text for the billionth time. Apartment 5D.

He looked back up towards the door. Yup. 5D. Alec cleared his throat and looked around the carpeted hallway to make sure no one saw his anxiety before he knocked again.

Alec sighed in relief and swung the gift bag in his hand when he heard Magnus’ voice through the door. “Sorry! I’m coming!” Alec straightened his back and rolled his shoulders. The black door swung open and Magnus stood on the other side.

“Alexander! Right on time.” Magnus grinned and took a step back looking him over. “Come in. You look very handsome tonight.” Alec smiled shyly and took a look at Magnus.

The first thing Alec noticed about him was his makeup. Magnus’ eyes were perfectly framed with black eyeliner and a darker blue was shaded onto his eyelids to match his outfit. Alec hadn’t seen Magnus with makeup since camp…

“That's because you don’t see me wear it at games. I don’t wear all this,” Magnus said waving a hand in front of his face, “during a game because do you know what that would do to my skin, Alexander? My pores would be open from sweating and I promise you, the results wouldn’t be pretty.”

Blushing, Alec said, “We’ll you look pretty right now.”

Looking up through his eyelashes, Magnus smiled shyly. “Thank you. I, uh, wasn’t sure if I should’ve put anything on since I hadn’t talked to you about it.”

Crinkling his eyebrows in question, Alec reached for Magnus’ hand. “You don’t have to talk to me about it. You’re completely allowed to be you, Magnus.” Sighing, Alec looked into his eyes. “What I said back then isn’t how I really feel—”

“I know, I know. I just—” Magnus shrugged his hand hesitantly out of Alec’s and moved towards the kitchen with a sigh. Alec thought of the last time he saw Magnus with makeup. At camp. With his parents. If Magnus thought of it too, neither one of them mentioned it again. Alec walked further after shutting the front door and looked around.

There was a couch in the center of the living room with a TV on top of a stand. There were a few boxes in the living room and a couple more down through the hallway.

“Don’t mind the boxes,” Magnus said as he walked towards the stove. “I’m still trying to unpack everything. I’ve had barely any time to unpack in the four months that I’ve been here. When I’m home, I just want to relax and not do anything.” He stirred whatever was in the pot and walked slightly to his right and picked up the knife on the cutting board.

Walking over towards Magnus after placing the bag and his winter coat on the counter, Alec wrapped his arms around his waist. “Don’t worry about it,” he said with a kiss to the side of Magnus’ temple. “It took me forever to settle in even _with_ the help from my family let alone by myself.”

“Speaking of,” he said with a chop to the carrots on his cutting board, “you need a bit more color. Haven’t you lived there for years already? Your walls are as pale as white ice and need some serious TLC.”

Alec lifted his head from Magnus’ shoulder. “Hey,” Alec said defensively. “Look at your walls. They’re not so different from mine.”

Magnus chuckled as he slipped the cubed carrots into a giant pot of brown rice. “Don’t you worry your cute ass off. There will be paint on the walls. Maybe blues and browns in the living room, definitely red in the bedroom…” Magnus glanced over his shoulder at Alec before returning to the stove. “It would be so much easier if I had magical powers. Everything could be done with a snap of my fingers.”

“If only,” Alec replied with a soft smile. “Oh!” He unlatched his arms from around Magnus and hurried over to get the gift bag on the counter behind them. “I know your birthday is in, like, a week, but I thought of a gift for you, and I couldn’t wait to give it to you. I hope you like it.” Alec shoved the bag Magnus’ way once he turned around.

“Alexander…” Magnus smiled softly and took the bag. “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“Of course, I did. I’m—we’re—you know,” Alec replied with a wave of his hand.

With a small smirk, Magnus finished Alec’s sentence. “Now that we’re together again?”

Alec inwardly sighed and smiled. “Together again. Yeah. I- I wanted to get you this, birthday or not.” Alec motioned with his hands for Magnus to open it.

Magnus held the bag in his hand and tore out the thin paper stuffed in. Alec kept a steady watch on Magnus’ face as he instantly recognized what it was.

Reaching in to take it out, Magnus bit his bottom lip. “Is this…?”

Trying to calm his giddiness but failing, Alec spoke a bit too fast. “Yup!”

Magnus pulled out a signed, black hockey puck and the bag dropped to the floor with a thud. “Alexander, is this really—”

Alec nodded enthusiastically. “I contacted his people a few weeks ago. There’s more in the bag.”

The right winger quickly crouched down to pick the birthday bag up and reached in and pulled out a black and white jersey. Placing the puck on the counter, Magnus unfolded the sweater. Alec watched his facial expressions change. “Alec!” Grinning wider, the left winger waited for it to sink in. Magnus ran a careful hand over the fabric before looking up towards him, jersey still in hand. “This is Wayne Gretzky’s signature? Aka the _best_ player in hockey history?”

Alec bit his lip and nodded. “I made sure to buy the LA Kings’— your favorite team since we were younger— vintage jersey with his name on it.” The only retired number throughout the entire league stood proudly under Magnus’ fingers. “And then I sent him the jersey and the puck for him to sign just for you,” Alec spoke softly.

“Alexander, this must’ve cost you a shit-ton of money. Gretzky jerseys aren’t cheap. _Especially_ the vintage one’s.”

Waving him off, Alec took a step closer. “Don’t worry about that. I wanted to do this for you.” Rubbing his hands down Magnus’ shoulder’s, Alec kissed his cheek. “It was all worth it for that reaction.”

Eyes soft, Magnus picked the puck up again and walked over towards his TV stand, placing it gently on the glass surface. Turning back towards Alec, he held the shirt up. “I think I might just get this framed.”

Alec laughed, eyes crinkling on the sides. “So you like it then, I presume?”

From where he stood, Magnus rolled his eyes and shrugged. “On second thought, I should probably burn it. I _am_ an Islander now.”

Running a hand on the island in the kitchen, Alec leaned his hip against it when Magnus walked closer. “You say that as if you ever played for the Kings—which you didn’t.”

“Oh, darling,” Magnus started, “I’m _always_ a king. There’s always an invisible crown on my head.” He winked just before something behind Alec started beeping.

Setting the jersey on the bar stool, Magnus rushed over towards the stove and shut the timer on the microwave off and lifted a wooden spoon set aside.

“By the way,” Alec said, walking to stand behind Magnus. “What are you making?  It smells really familiar.”

“Scent is one of the best reminders of a memory. I hope you do remember this dish, you’ve eaten it before.”

Still skeptical, Alec walked to his side and leaned down to look into the pot of vegetables mixed in with rice and shrimp. He wafted the smoke over and a sweet soy-sauce scent hit his nose. “When I visited you during the holidays, your mom made this for dinner,” he said, realization flooding him.

“You remember.” Magnus sounded surprised. “It’s called Nasi Goreng. You always said it was your favorite Indonesian dish my mother made, and I wanted to make you something non-traditional to America because spaghetti and meatballs is way too conventional for us, don’t you think?”

“I do remember,” Alec confirmed followed by a hum. “I loved that soy sauce.” He wafted the smoke his way and inhaled again. “So good,” he groaned, eyes fluttering shut.

With a chuckle, Magnus picked up a small bottle. “It’s the Indonesian version of soy sauce called, kecap manis. It’s used in many dishes.”

“It’s delicious. I can’t believe you made this for me.”

“It’s too good not to make.” Magnus smiled and stirred the rice. “If you couldn't tell when you stepped into my childhood home, my mother liked to stay in touch with our Indonesian heritage. I’ve never been there since she moved to California when she was pregnant with me when she found out my biological father was an asshole or something—I still really don’t know what happened to him. Anyways, she quickly married my stepfather who was a dick to me. But he did two things correctly. One, he loved my mother until she died. I know that because he never once said he wanted a more quintessential American home. He always enjoyed learning about our culture because it was so important to my mom. The second thing he did right in life was tell my mother to put me in a hockey league. He may not have been the best, but he did something for me that I will never forget.”

Once the food was plated and they sat down across from each other at Magnus’ rectangular table, Magnus waited for Alec to take the first bite.

Alec eagerly picked his spoon and scooped the brown rice and a small slice of red pepper. Feeling the rice fall onto his tongue, Alec moaned. The sweetness of the pepper mixed perfectly with the soy sauce-like kecap manis. He tasted small bites of carrots and other vegetables and it was just like he remembered it from all those years ago.

“Remember when you told me you weren’t a gourmet chef?” Magnus nodded, eyes shining. “Bullshit,” Alec replied honestly and Magnus looked down shyly. “Magnus, it’s incredible. The favors mix so well and look at that garnishing! It looks like you could compete against Gordon Ramsay and win!"

The right winger chuckled and held up his hands in defense. “Okay, I've taken up cooking in my short, erratic spare time instead of fixing my apartment.”

Alec groaned and wafted the scent from his plate towards him.  “It smells incredible, tastes incredible— it’s exactly how I remember it from so many years ago."

"I've made sure I remembered every recipe my mother knew. I have most of them written down somewhere. Mom started writing everything she knew in a little book and when she died, I took it. It’s not like my stepfather would have used it at all.”

Nodding, Alec picked up his spoon again.

[][][][][]

“That was our best first date ever.” Alec stood up from his chair and brought their plates to the sink, setting them in gently.

“You mean, that was our _only_ first date ever.”

“What!” Alec joked. “You don’t consider us getting hammered at 14 in a bar a date? Come on, I thought you were better than that.” He shook his head disappointed and started walking towards the door jokingly.

“Nooo,” Magnus whined, quickly jumping out of his seat to grab Alec’s hand. “Stay, Alexander.”

Alec couldn’t tell if his hand was getting sweaty because Magnus was still holding it, or because of the unknown in just one word: stay. So, after swallowing, he asked for clarification. “Stay?” His voice was unsure because there was a chance Magnus didn’t mean it in the way he thought, but then, what if he was?

Magnus’ eyes never left his as he pulled Alec closer to him, now grabbing onto his other hand. “Stay,” he said again. “Let _this_ be another birthday gift for me.”

Alec took a hesitant step closer, eyes trailing to Magnus’ lips. He couldn’t help but lick his own. “You said slow.” He looked up to Magnus’ eyes to be sure it was what he wanted.

“Fuck slow.” They were so close, Magnus’ whisper felt loud in Alec’s ears.

Then, Magnus’ mouth was on his. Alec moaned at the contact as he was pushed back slightly from the pressure, but he counter acted pushing his body against Magnus’.

Magnus slid his hand up Alec’s arms and around his shoulders as Alec moved his to Magnus’ waist. Magnus tugged on him, pulling him closer before stepping backwards. It took Alec a moment to realize Magnus wanted him to follow down the hallway towards his bedroom without breaking contact.

So, Alec followed—or lead. He pushed Magnus back, not knowing where he was going. Magnus’ tongue found its way inside Alec’s mouth and they battled for dominance. Alec gripped onto Magnus’ shirt as he groaned and tasted him, winning the battle.

Then, they stopped moving with a grunt. Magnus was flush against the wall to the hallway entrance and Alec took the opportunity to test something new. With his new dominance, he kissed his way down Magnus’ neck. He peppered his kisses until he reached Magnus’ clavicle that poked out of the collar of his shirt. Alec licked and sucked as Magnus tossed his head to the side, panting from anticipation.

Magnus’ hands slid down Alec’s back, shirt still separating them. God, it’s been so long since Magnus last touched him like this. Alec just _wanted_.

Alec _needed_. This feeling was so new to Alec. Never before had just kissing been so electrified between himself and a partner.

He glided his hands under Magnus’ shirt as his mouth found Magnus’ again. Alec ran his thumbs over the ridges on Magnus’ stomach, then he palmed his whole hand over the bumps of his abs. Magnus let out a groan and Alec pushed his still-clothed semi-hard on against Magnus’.

For the first time in seven years, Alec’s breath had been taken away by a kiss. He never felt this way with any other partner—boyfriend or a hook up—Magnus was the only one who had been able to do that.

Magnus whimpered into his mouth as Alec brought his hands to the button on Magnus’ pants. He hastily popped the button and slid the zipper down, fingertips grazing over the skin slightly above. Alec felt a shiver run through Magnus’ body and Alec opened his eyes, pulling his mouth away, needing to see his reaction.

Magnus’ eyes opened too, but just a little. He was panting against the wall waiting for Alec to do something. He licked his dry lips and Alec licked his own out of want.

Then, Alec pushed his hand past the elastic band on Magnus’ boxers. He grasped Magnus’ half hard cock in his hand, still watching Magnus’ face. Magnus gasped and squeezed his eyes shut with a small grunt.

Alec pulled on it, sweat from his hand allowing it to slide a bit easier. Alec’s eyes pierced through Magnus. He watched every intake of breath, every muscle twitch, every sigh. He watched Magnus bite his lip. “Please,” Magnus murmured.

Alec looked down now, hand still in pants. Pulling gently, he watched as Magnus’ dick peaked out. With his free hand, Alec pushed the edges of Magnus’ pants and boxers down mid-thigh for better access.

With Magnus’ eyes now open and watching, Alec slid to his knees, his eyes not once leaving Magnus’. Alec ran a hand over the length. It was bigger than the last time he saw Magnus naked.

Magnus watched with a bitten lip as Alec leaned up to lick the head of his dick. Alec circled his tongue around as he stared at Magnus’ face. Alec felt a jolt of affection as he licked a stripe over the tiny hole. Magnus gasped quietly, but it sent a shiver through Alec.

He couldn’t wait any longer and took Magnus into his mouth. His cock felt heavy on his tongue, but Alec liked the feeling of his mouth full. He watched Magnus suck in another breath as he pulled back before taking Magnus in again, his saliva slowly creeping onto the base of his dick.

The more Alec sucked in, the harder Magnus got. With every new inhale and as he went deeper, more pre-cum gathered. Alec couldn’t get enough of Magnus’ musky taste.

Magnus’ fingers raked through his hair, and for the first time, Alec closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. When he looked up through his eyelashes, Magnus was staring down at him.

He breathed deeply when Magnus’ cock reached the back of his throat, his nose rubbing against the shaved surface of Magnus’ pelvis. It scratched his nose, but it was comforting as it kept him almost grounded.

Alec’s head glided along Magnus’ cock as his tongue shimmied along the underside. Magnus moaned above him, head falling to the wall. “Alec,” he groaned, fingers tugging his hair. “Alec,” he tried again when Alec didn’t pull off.

The latter tonged at the hole on the head of Magnus’ dick before placing a small kiss to the top which earned him a happy jump from Magnus’ cock. Getting to his feet, Alec stood in front of Magnus, the other’s hands still clutched into his hair. Leaning closer, Alec kissed him again. “Bed,” he mumbled.

Magnus hummed against him, agreeing. When Alec finally pulled off, Magnus stepped out of his pants and dragged him towards the back room.

Once he pushed Alec onto the bed, Magnus tore his shirt over his head, dropping it to the floor. Alec looked at his beautiful, naked body and his breath caught. He was even more gorgeous than before, and he was wondering how he was still alive and breathing.

“My turn,” Magnus said, hands going straight to Alec’s pants. Alec went to work on the buttons on his shirt. Damn Izzy for making him wear a button down. But he wasn’t going to think of her right now.

Not when Magnus’ hands were roaming his lower half. Not when his hands were sliding into his boxers. And definitely not when his hand finally was clasped around Alec’s hard member.

With a grunt, Alec finally pulled his shirt off his shoulders and tossed it out to the side. Magnus’ eyes were on him, heavy and dilated from the lust between them. The sudden darkness of them turned Alec on more and he groaned as Magnus’ hand slid out of his pants and tugged on the edges. Lifting himself up, Magnus slid his boxers and skinny jeans down slowly. Never again will he wear these too-tight-to-breathe pants.

When he was fully naked, Magnus leaned back to look his body over, eye’s heavy with lust. With a gasp of air, Alec’s cheeks brightened under his intense gaze as Magnus’ eyes trailed lower. Alec slowly inched his hands closer to his dick. His date raised an eyebrow at him. “Are you being shy?” With a swipe of his hand’s, Magnus quickly knocked Alec’s hand to the side. “How many times have we seen each other naked when we were younger, hm? And _now_ you’re shy?”

The left winger blushed harder as his eyes settled just below Magnus’. “It’s just… it’s _you_.”

As if he understood, Magnus nodded before leaning in to kiss Alec again on the lips. “You’re just the same, but definitely more beautiful,” he mumbled against Alec’s mouth. “Now, sit back and relax, Alexander. I’m going to take good care of you.”

Pushing himself further up the bed, Alec settled his back against the pillows so he’d still be able to see what Magnus was doing. Magnus had gone to the side table to pull out a condom and a bottle of lube before crawling back onto the bed in between Alec’s spread legs.

Eyes boring into Alec’s, Magnus sucked the head of Alec’s cock into his wet, hot mouth. Alec’s stomach bubbled happily as warmth and tightness surrounded him. His eyes wanted to flutter shut, but there was no way in hell he would miss this. It’s been way too long for him not to watch.

Magnus pulled off, a string of saliva still connecting him to Alec. Then, he went back down, pulling Alec in deeper with a slow, teasing pace. Alec’s eyes were glued to where his cock disappeared into Magnus’ mouth. It was so addicting and he couldn’t stop staring even if he wanted to. Magnus looked beautiful like this. Utterly gorgeous.

“Thank you.” Magnus’ voice was rough when he pulled off, quickly going back onto the dick in front of him.

Smiling, Alec’s breath sped up as Magnus’ pace did. Then Magnus did the thing. The thing he _knew_ Alec liked. Oh, _God_.

Alec’s eyes squeezed shut and his back arched slightly as Magnus’ tongue moved rapidly along his cock. While he was deep down Magnus’ throat, the latter groaned, sending waves of pleasure throughout Alec’s entire body. “ _Magnus_ ,” he groaned, followed by a soft whimper. When Magnus moved his tongue again, Alec reached down and gripped his hair, pulling lightly. “ _Fuck_ , you’re so good. That _tongue_.”

Next thing he knew, there was a cold, wet finger circled his hole. Alec tired his best to reposition himself to give Magnus more room, but stopped when he accidently pushed his dick deeper into Magnus’ mouth.

The right winger pulled off with a groan. “Sorry,” Alec winced.

Magnus kissed the tip, pre-cum spotting his lips, and Alec’s dick bounced lovingly. As Magnus’ finger pushed in, he slid his mouth over Alec’s cock again. Magnus began pumping his finger in and out, wet, delicious sounds filled the room. He circled his finger inside and curled it hoping to find Alec’s prostate.

When he did, Alec felt a blissful wave crash through him, cock hard and desperate inside Magnus’ mouth. As Magnus opened him, Alec struggled to keep his eyes open. “More,” he groaned with a yank at Magnus’ hair, who in return grunted, eyes fiercely gazing into his.

Magnus continued to bob his head, tongue roaming the underside of his cock as a second finger pushed in alongside of the first one. In sync, they moved inside of him, stretching him wider as they continued to scrape against his walls.

Alec pulled Magnus’ hair again, this time on purpose. “If you continue, I definitely will _not_ make it long enough.”

Magnus pulled off him with a slick sound. “No stamina?”

“Not when it comes to you,” Alec replied, voice strained with efforts to sound normal.

With a smile, Magnus said, “Flattery will get you everywhere, Mr. Lightwood.” Just after, a third finger entered his tight hole and Alec groaned at the new stretch.

“So good,” Alec moaned, lifting his legs so his feet were flat against the bed.

Magnus’ body hovered over his and Alec felt the head radiating off their bodies. His fingers were still inside Alec and they scissored, spreading out. Magnus leaned up and kissed him on the cheek, breathing heavy. Alec’s face burned where Magnus’ lips were, but he welcomed it, adding it to his long list of pleasures. “Prepared enough?”

Alec nodded fanatically, ready and needing Magnus inside him. He was on fire already.

When Magnus pulled his fingers out, Alec whined at the loss. But the sound of foil falling to the ground made Alec giddy.

They’ve talked about it all before when they were younger; which would top and bottom. They fantasized about this exact moment, wanted this to be true when they were younger, but it never happened. Never until now. When they were in camp, they both agreed to wait until the next year, but that time never came.

That was another thing to kick himself over. If he hadn’t fucked up, Magnus would’ve been his first.

Alec was brought out of his mind when he felt the head of Magnus’ cock lined up with his hole.

Looking deep into Magnus’ eyes, Alec nodded, heart pounding so loud he could hear it in his ears. His hands were sweaty, but he couldn’t tell if it was because he was sweaty or nervous. Then, Magnus pushed in.

It’s been a while since he bottomed properly with another man, so despite the prep, it hurt a little.

But he didn’t mind the pain. Alec kept his eyes firmly locked onto Magnus’ until he was completely full with Magnus’ cock. Then, he shut his eyes with a shaky breath, trying to relax his muscles around him.

After nearly ten seconds, Alec opened them again and ran a hand down Magnus’ side as an okay to move.

Magnus’ thrusts started slow. After placing his hands on either side of Alec’s body to stabilize himself, his pulled out slightly before drawing back in, trying to help Alec get used to his size. The left winger sighed as his body adjusted.

They’re eyes stayed connected as it dawned on them that this was actually happening. Alec wished for this for the past seven years—probably more if you included his unconscious. Looking into Magnus’ eyes right now, he knew this was where he needed to be. Magnus was the only one who held his heart so strongly and that won’t ever change in Alec’s eyes.

Magnus leaned down and pulled their lips together into a heated kiss. Alec welcomed it as Magnus pushed his hips against Alec’s ass in acceleration.

Wrapping his arms around Magnus’ back, his fingers scraped the skin. Their lips tangled into a mess of teeth and bites, but it was too perfect— too needed— to stop. 

Alec’s prostate was massaged with each fast thrust and he was jerked up towards the pillows clinging onto Magnus with his hands. “ _Jesus_ , Alec,” Magnus panted against his mouth, “you’re so tight for me.” His heart fluttered for the billionth time that night.

He knew he wouldn’t last much longer with the way Magnus was pounding into him. “Ma-gnus,” he stuttered.

Magnus nodded against the crook of his neck in understanding. They were both reaching their tipping point, so Alec grabbed Magnus’ head and pulled him into another kiss, needing to feel _everything_  Magnus had to offer him as they came.

With a shout and short breaths, Alec came between their bodies, hot cum covering their stomachs. A second later, Magnus followed. Even though he couldn’t feel the cum, the warmth of it inside the condom calmed him

[][][][][]

“One _very_  successful date down, I say we’re gliding into a good thing, don’t you, Alexander?”

Looking over from where he laid, Alec smiled and nodded tiredly. “Does this mean that we’re official now? That I can call you my boyfriend?”

Eyebrows raised, Magnus pulled himself closer to Alec, arms wrapping around his back. “Do you want it to mean that?” he asked softly.

Sighing tiredly, Alec’s smile widened and he rubbed his hand over Magnus’ exposed arm, goosebumps raising under his touch. “I really do.”

“So do I.”

His heart raced as he looked into Magnus’ beautiful eyes, mind reeling with exhausted excitement. “Alright then, boyfriend.”

He watched Magnus grin, a happy laugh leaving his mouth. His eyes suddenly shone brighter and if him calling Magnus ‘boyfriend’ made him look this beautiful, Alec wondered why he never did it before. “Boyfriend,” he repeated. “I like how it sounds in your voice: deep, raspy, hot-as-fuck—”

“Ha!” Alec didn’t think he could stop smiling even if he wanted to. This moment was too good—too perfect—for it to be ruined or interrupted.

It made him think about the future and the different possibilities. Laying here with Magnus—his boyfriend—wrapped in his arms after sex was something Alec never thought he would have. He could see himself happy. Magnus always broke his barriers and then patched it up with himself secured inside next to Alec, both safe and _happy_.

Alec never saw himself having a future with anyone before. No one before now.

But he had a lot to overcome still. The boys; their teammates, were one. Alec’s never felt his urge to be completely free and _himself_ around them before. But he wouldn’t mind that much right now. He didn’t want to hide his rainbow bracelet anymore. He wants to put it on, tie it securely around his wrist for the first time and not take it off. Not while at home, not while playing a game, not around his friends.

It was a strange feeling for him. He was excited for himself for the first time in a while. He was proud that he finally felt like he could _do this_.

This relationship with Magnus wasn’t just some stupid thing, he knew. It wasn’t based on the last three months of being on the same team, nor was it based solely on their first date and their one month of being ‘together’.

No, it ran much deeper than that. Their relationship has been strong since camp. His feelings for Magnus now were just the same as they were all those years back, but much stronger.

Alec is 23 now though, not 16 and living in fear of his parents. He had a name for himself and a successful career that they were proud of. He could tell them he’s gay. Because if it all goes to shit anyway, he would have Magnus and his siblings. They would still love him.

When Alec finally fell asleep, it was to the soft breathing next to him, their naked bodies pressed together.

And if he woke up to Magnus’ shining, makeup-smudged eyes, then he wasn’t going to complain one bit. And if Magnus walked around all morning wearing just Alec’s “Lightwood” Islander sweatshirt he brought over last night, then, fuck, he was _not_ complaining. And if they showed up to morning practice at nearly the same time with grins on their face, then no one mentioned anything out of the blue.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit later than usual, I know, but I haven't been feeling well the past few days and kind of lost track on which day it was lol. But it's up! 
> 
> Hope you like this chapter, it kind of defines the struggles for the rest of the fic. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Sneak peek for 15 on Tuesday/Wednesday on my Twitter and update on Friday! #FtLotG

“Good game tonight team! Taki’s anyone? It’s been a while.”

Alec looked over to Magnus who was a little slower to change than everyone else. His boyfriend’s shoulders slumped in a frown before sniffling. He hadn’t been feeling well the past couple days. He could’ve asked Coach Garroway to seat him out this game, but Alec knew he was a dedicated player who wouldn’t stop playing against Toronto just because he was a bit ill.

A chorus of, “Yeah,” rung out in the locker room as Alec kept his eyes focused across the room at Magnus whose mouth didn’t move. When Lee leaned into Magnus to say something, he replied with a shake of his head and a small reply back.

Alec was nudged in the side and his eyes were hesitant to remove his eyes form Magnus, but eventually they found Jace. “Coming tonight, man?”

Still distracted by Magnus and if he was alright to make it home alone while sick, he said, “Uhm… Not sure…”

Nodding, Jace pulled on his suit jacket. “Let me know if you are; I could use a ride there.”

Alec scoffed. “You’re just my friend because I drive you everywhere, aren’t you?”

The blonde’s eyes widened followed by a fake gasp. “How dare you think that! You are more than _just_ a chauffeur to me, Alec. In fact,” he said, putting a supportive hand on Alec’s shoulder, “you’re my _best_ chauffeur.”

“Ha! I knew it,” he replied with a smile. “You’re like the best friend that I never wanted.”

Scoffing, Jace looked back at him, eyes shining. “That was the nicest thing you’ve said to me.”

Rolling his eyes and slipping Jace’s hand off his shoulder, Alec zippered his gear bag closed and reached for his suit jacket that was still hanging. “That phrase seems to be a reoccurring line for me this season. And I’ve definitely said nicer things to you.”

“Relax, buddy, I’m joking. I know you have. You’re a great friend.” Jace opened his arms for a hug in Alec’s direction who smiled and shook his head looking at his blonde friend who wore a puppy dog pout. Why was Jace like this? It’s adorable in the most annoying way sometimes. His eyes fell onto Magnus across the room. “How is he doing?” Jace asked quieter, arms now by his side.

“Still sick,” Alec mumbled.

Standing next to each other now, Jace leaned in. “Not mono is it?” Jace pulled back raising his eyebrows. “Don’t kiss him!”

Groaning, Alec picked his bag up over his shoulder. “Just a cold. But don’t worry. He doesn’t want me to kiss him until he’s better. He doesn’t even want me to come over,” he grumbled in a whisper, looking back to Magnus. “How am I supposed to be a sweet boyfriend if I’m not allowed to help him?”

Jace shrugged. “I’m sure you’ll find a way to—”

“Alec,” Simon breathed firmly from the other bench. “Have you seen the article?” he asked, shoving his phone towards Alec. “Ever since the first one about you and Magnus, I’ve been keeping tabs on this Jonathan Morgenstern journalist guy.”

Alec groaned and took the phone, uninterested in the lies one man is fabricating in his mind. “Another one about how much we hate each other? It’ll get old fast.”

Simon shook his head, eyes wide. With a tilt of his head to the phone in Alec hand, he said, “Just read it, Alec.”

_“Not a Good Team Player? Neither are They!” By Jonathan Morgenstern_

_Friends or foe? According to an anonymous source linked to the New York Islanders, Alec Lightwood and Magnus Bane, the two You Can Play co-ambassadors for the team, have grown closer behind the scenes. (Picture below: Lightwood and Bane at the New York Islanders You Can Play event last month)_

Looking up to Simon, eyes scrunched, Alec asked, “Anonymous source? Who?” Simon shrugged, eyes wide. Anxiously, Alec glanced around the locker room at each of his teammates. Just as he hoped, they were doing their own things—minding their own businesses.

_My source says the only way the two will talk to each other is when they’re at least 15 feet from others. What could there possibly be to talk about separate from the rest of their teammates and coaches? Is it sport related? Or could their exchanges be a bit more personal?_

_I’ve tasked myself with the responsibility to get to the bottom of the miscommunication between the players and their own team and staff._

Dumbfounded, Alec looked up slowly to Simon who still stood next to him. “What the hell does that _mean_?” Voice sharp in a whisper, Alec shoved the phone back at Simon. “What the fuck is he getting to the bottom of exactly?”

Shaking his head, Simon took his phone back, hugging it to his chest. “I don’t know, man. You know it’s not me, right?” he asked quickly.

Forcing his expression into a softer one, Alec looked at him. “Yeah, Si, I know. I trust most of you guys, if not all. But,” he started, facials moving angrily again, “who else could it possibly be? Only players, coaches and elite executives are allowed into the locker room where they saw Magnus and I talking. And that narrows the pool down to a male.”

Shrugging, Simon looked behind him at half the team. “I don’t know. But I’ll help you figure it out.

Nodding with a sigh, Alec secured his gear bag on his shoulder. “Thanks for showing me this. Mind sending the link to me?” He’ll have to send it to his agent, Lydia, to make sure she has a plan in case this gets bigger.

“Of course, to both. You’re my friend, Alec. I don’t want this to turn into a—”

“Me too.”

[][][][][]

After reading the article and sending the link to Lydia, Alec pushed it from his mind for the rest of the night; there was no reason to worry Magnus when he wasn’t in the best physical condition. He, like the good boyfriend he was going to be, walked his sick boyfriend to his car— after pulling his rainbow bracelet into his hand—and told him to message when he _safely_ made it home. He made sure to emphasis on the safe part. Magnus sniffled before sneezing and nodded, cranking his heater up all the way.

When he and Jace made it to Taki’s Jace slid into the booth next to Simon as Alec pulled up an old red chair from an empty table and sat at the edge of the booth. “How do you guys always make it here before us?” he asked.

Minyard shrugged and looked at Meliorn. “Maybe because we don’t actually drive the speed limit,” he chuckled. Jace and Simon looked down as they laughed, not wanting Alec to see them.

But Alec did and glared from his seat. “Three things: One, you’ll regret that when it snows and the road ices over, two, I’ll make sure to tell Clary not to get in a car with you,” he said pointing at Jace. “And three, my sister is not getting in the car with you.” He pointed towards Simon.

“Oh, shit,” one of the M’s chuckled.

Not only Jace glared at him, but Simon did too. And then Simon quickly turned his head towards Jace.

Okay… not Alec’s greatest move.

“Anyway…” he said trying to change the subject. He looked at the table and around the room, but not at Simon or Jace. He could feel the tension. Jace probably wished he’d let Alec sit in the booth. “Pizza and beer! How ‘bout them?” He awkwardly grabbed his beer that the waitress brought over and gulped a quarter of the pint.

Meliorn leaned over and playfully slapped Alec on the back, a signal to say he should give up. He hummed back in appreciation. When the pizza finally arrived, Alec was the first to take a slice, burning his fingers in the process of trying to slide it over to the flimsy paper plate Taki’s provided.

“Alright,” Meliorn started, “enough about the guys who are already in a relationship. Let’s talk about the guy’s here who _aren’t_.”

Alec had just taken a bite of his folded slice when four pairs of eyes looked his way, Jace’s being the last. He looked back with a deer-like expression as his chewing came to a slower pace. He swallowed. Yeah, so he was the only “single” one at the table. But only one of them knew that.

 “Pft, what?” Alec shrugged and reached for his beer. “Do I have something on my face?”

Ignoring him, Minyard said, “What happened with that girl whose number you picked up last time we were here?”

Oh, he remembers that. And judging Meliorn and Simon’s eyes, they remembered too. Jace looked different—almost apologetic without trying to give too much away.

Alec shrugged as he grabbed his pizza again. “Didn’t call her,” he replied nonchalantly.

Simon scoffed as he tossed his red-stained napkin down. “Why the hell not? She was hot.”

After swallowing, Alec dabbed his face with his napkin. “Because, I didn’t want to.”

“That’s so vague as fuck, bro,” Mels drawled with his head thrown back.

With a chuckle Minyard asked, “Are you sure you’re not gay, Lightwood? Not having a girlfriend for so long drops a few hints.”

Alec’s breath hitched. Under the table, his hand fisted into his dark suit.

Only a second went by as he took a deep breath and pursed his lips together. He was okay, article and all. “So-what if I am?” His voice wasn’t as strong as he wanted it to be, but it came out better than he thought it would.

He couldn’t look anywhere but his pizza, but he could feel the questions coming from Minyard, Meliorn and Simon. Softly, Simon asked, “Are you?”

Alec risked a glance at Jace who, in return, stared at him shocked. He was shocked at himself too. He knew by not saying no immediately gave him away. “Why does it matter?” he asked.

“It doesn’t,” Meliorn replied. Alec finally looked their way. Their reaction wasn’t what he expected. Well, he wasn’t really sure what he was expecting from them two in particular, but he didn’t predict the tenderness showing on their faces.

Alec looked behind them. It didn’t seem like anyone was paying attention. Confused, he was eerily calm with the idea of more people knowing. Maybe it was because he and Magnus finally had sex after all this time. Either way, he wanted it to happen. There was no way that these four were the anonymous source. Meliorn and Minyard may be dicks, but they would never be so crude.

But Alec debated for a moment. He’s taught himself to never be open about his sexuality no matter how much he wanted that to change. He thought of how they treated Magnus who was into guys. They treated him with respect, Magnus said so himself. Then before he could stop himself, he said, “Yes, I am.”

He let out a shaky sigh as he leaned back in his chair and observed his table. The second he saw Jace grin, he knew he would be okay.

“Feel better?” Jace asked, leaning back into the cushions arms crossed.

Alec’s heart felt lighter. He felt a weight lifted off not only his shoulders, but his entire body. His reserved, toothless smile broke out into a full-on grin at the realization. He laughed amazed at how easy it was, and bit his bottom lip to try and calm down, but it only edged him on. He suddenly wished Magnus was here to see him. “I think so,” replied.

It was only three more people, but he felt like he was nearly ready to take on the world.

“I think so too.” Jace winked at him just before Alec surveyed his friends.

Simon was bright-eyed with a smile. Simon was a good friend to him. Alec felt so good that he knew now.

And Meliorn and Minyard shared similar expressions. “You’re not joking, are you?” Mels asked.

“Nope!” Alec was still blissed out, smile spread across his face. He wanted his rainbow bracelet—but not out of anxiety. No, this time, he wanted it because of how proud he was of himself. He wanted to display it and show how much he loved his community.

It almost made him want to cry.

Meliorn clapped his hand on Alec’s back again. “Good for you, honestly! It’s big of you to tell us.”

“Shit, I just got an idea!” Minyard slapped his hand on the table and Lee turned around behind him to flick him on the head. Minyard scoffed at him and flicked him back. Leaning in closer to Alec, he said, “Is that why you don’t like Bane? You’re jealous that he’s the first out player?”

Alec was taken aback. “What?” Maybe because he and Magnus patched things up a while ago. These guys never got to see that. “I’m not jealous that he came out before me. I don’t care about that.”

Alec knew it was none of their business, but he had avoided the subject since the season started. “You’ve just started talking to him, what, three weeks ago? Are you jealous because you think you can’t come out for some reason?”

Alec paused his movements. Minyard hit the nail right on the head. Alec’s never seen him so serious with him off ice. Minyard saw his hesitation and moved on.

“So, how does it feel to have four other people know?”

“Oh, I knew,” Jace said, raising his hand slightly.

Meliorn rolled his eyes then looked at their captain. “Congratulations. Then three.”

Smiling again, Alec sighed as he took a swig of his neglected beer. “It feels so good. I’ve known most of you for the full five years I’ve been on this team; it was about time I told you. Speaking of, don’t tell anyone yet, I’ll find the time, promise.”

“Well,” Simon started, “it’s not about the time that counts, it’s about the… thought. Is that the saying?” His face scrunched up as he looked towards Jace now.

“Uhm, maybe?”

“I, for one, needs to apologize.” Minyard yet again surprised Alec.

There was no way that Alec wouldn’t take advantage. “Finally! But, uh, for what?”

He shrugged as he slid another slice of pizza onto his tomato sauce stained plate. “For teasing you about never having a girlfriend… what I should’ve been pestering you about not having a boyfriend.” Alec laughed again, teeth shining through. It really felt good. He took another swig of his beer. “Not getting your fill of Vitamin D?”

The left winger choked on his beer as it slid down his throat. Meliorn tapped him on the back for the third time that night. Jace should be damned glad that Alec couldn’t do much more than glare when Jace coughed and said under his breath,” Not true.”

“What was that?” Simon asked from next to him.

“Nothing!” Alec butted in, finally able to breath correctly. Jace sat smugly, that dick.

“I don’t know, man,” Meliorn started. “Lightwood definitely seems secretive enough to have a secret boyfriend.” Jace burst out laughing beside him

Alec quickly grabbed his phone knowing how bad of a liar he was. “Shit,” he said looking at the screen. “I have to step outside—my phone’s ringing. Actually,” he said standing from his seat, “I’ll just see you all at our next game. Bye!”

“But you’re my ride!” Jace shouted.

Alec turned around towards his friends and pointed to his phone. “Sorry!” He pulled the phone to his ear and said hello to the fake person on the other end.

“I didn’t hear it ring, did you?”

“Nope.”

“You’re right: Definitely a secret boyfriend.”

“Yup.”

Alec broke into another silly grin as he moved closer to the front door.

[][][][][]

Alec drank only half his beer, so he didn’t think too much when he sat inside his car.

The second he was out of Taki’s he texted Magnus to see if it was alright to call. He knew Magnus hadn’t been feeling well and didn’t want to wake him up.

But he had gotten a text back saying it was definitely alright to call, so that’s what he did the second he got to his car.

“ _Hello, Alexander_ ,” Magnus muttered.

“Hi. Did I wake you? How are you feeling?” He started the ignition and turned the heat all the way up. The December weather chilled him to the bone.

Despite the yawn, he replied, “ _I was still awake, don’t worry. I’m okay_ ,” he said unconvincingly. “ _How was Taki’s?_ ” Magnus’ voice rang out across the car, the Bluetooth syncing to his phone.

“You’ll never believe what just happened.”

Magnus groaned and sniffled. “ _Don’t tell me someone famous just walked into that dump in the wall. Damn this cold!”_

Alec pulled out and headed towards the interstate. “No one famous, you’re safe.” Magnus sighed in relief across the line. “But…” Alec smiled again, anticipation growing, “I did just come out to a few of the boys. I know it’s nothing huge—”

“ _What! Alexander, of course, it’s huge! Darling, I’m so proud of you! I can’t believe I missed that,_ ” he whined. “ _Who was it? How did they react. More importantly, how do_ you _feel?_ ”

“Meliorn, Minyard and Lewis. They were actually amazing about it,” he said, thinking back to their supportive smiles. “And I felt so incredible. I thought for a second that my face would be stuck in a grin for the rest of my life. That’s a scary thought!” He chuckled and rolled his eyes as the thought of himself smiling like that during a game.

He heard rustling through the speakers and a soft laugh. “ _Not for me. I wouldn’t mind seeing your smile for the rest of my life_.” Alec’s heart hammered as he sucked in a breath, the only sound between them was the heater from the car. “ _I just mean, you have a great smile._ ”

Alec wasn’t one for compliments that often, but he felt too good right now. “Thank you,” he said shyly. _For the rest of my life_ , he had said. Alec had thought the same way during their first date.  

“ _I really am proud of you. That’s a big step towards happiness for you. Sounds like you’ve had a good night._ ”

Alec agreed for the most part. Besides the article, it had been a good night. He knew he’d get 100 % there one day. He looked forward to telling the rest of the team; his friends, even coach who has supported him for the past five years. But baby steps. If Magnus were by his side when that happened, he would be more than okay, though. But first things first: Jonathan Morgenstern.

When Magnus yawned again, Alec said he should go to sleep. “I’m almost home anyway.”

“ _Okay_ ,” Magnus mumbled. “ _Night, night, Alexander_.”

Alec smiled at his boyfriend’s sleepy voice as he pulled into his buildings parking garage. “Goodnight, Magnus. Sleep well. I hope you feel better in the morning.”

After they hung up and Alec was safely in his apartment, his phone buzzed.

His heart fluttered at the thought of Magnus sending him a goodnight text after they just hung up, but when he read the name, he was surprised. Simon had texted him.

S: _I’m honored that you told me tonight that you’re gay, even if you were a bit pressured. Sorry about that, by the way. But I know it must not have been easy especially with Magnus, an openly bi man, now on the team. Just know that you can talk to me if you need. And I will let you know if I find out anything about the article._

Even in text Simon rambled. But Alec didn’t mind this time. It meant a lot that Simon was okay with this. Not that he thought Simon wouldn’t, but he considered Simon a great friend besides the fact that he’s now dating Isabelle. Of course, he wanted Simon to be okay with it.

A: _Thank you, I know. You’re dating my sister, you would’ve found out eventually. Thank you, it means a lot to me. Also, don’t tell Izzy any secrets that you want hidden, besides hiding that I’m gay, she’s a terrible secret keeper._

S: _*Now_ * _you tell me._

Alec smiled and typed out his reply.

A: _Sorry! Better late than never. Goodnight, Simon, sleep well._

S: _You too. Goodnight._


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooo! I know it's a little bit later than normal, but I've had a reaalllyyy busy day and only now got home.
> 
> It's kind of a short chapter, only 3,000 words, but it's kind of a cute chapter and I really hope you all like it still.
> 
> I'm officially moving my sneak peek days to Wednesday on my Twitter (@malecsdaddari0 - with a zero) and a new chapter on Friday (aka my birthday! :D)

“Lightwood! You round up the caboose,” Coach called out from the middle of the locker room. “Alright boys, let’s go! Santiago you’re out first.” One by one behind the coaches and Raphael, the team filed out, gear on and attitudes ready for their home game against the New Jersey Devils.

Alec shifted his weight between his feet, waiting to join at the back. He saw Magnus out the corner of his eye with his blue helmet and gloves in hands. With the last few people pushing through the double doors, Alec expected his boyfriend to join them, but when he spared a quick glance at Alec before allowing the doors to shut, the left winger knew he had different plans.

Wobbly on his skates, Alec tried to steady himself by clinging to Magnus as he gripped onto Alec’s jersey, pulling him backwards. He dropped his helmet and gloves onto the foam mat under them.

Confused, Alec tried to pull back. “What are you doing? We have to— Are you bringing me to the showers?” Magnus’ hand on his jersey didn’t loosen as he pushed the first shower stall open with his shoulder and tugged Alec in. “They’re going to look for us,” Alec whispered. “Why are we in here?”

Magnus shoved Alec up against the shut door and kissed his jaw in small pecks. “Relax,” he breathed against his skin. “We have at least five minutes until we have to be on the ice.”

“Five— Magnus, we can’t do _that_ in here. We have a game,” Alec rushed, trying to dodge Magnus’ kisses again. “And our gear; it takes five minutes in itself to take off. At _least_.”

Magnus huffed and placed both of his hands on his boyfriend’s cheeks after dropping his helmet and gloves to the shower ground and steadied Alec’s movements. “We’re not having sex in here… yet,” he replied with a twinkle in his eye. “I just want to kiss you. I was sick last week and I missed your lips like you wouldn’t _believe_ , Alexander.”

Relaxing a little, his eyes softened. “Believe me, I understand. I missed your lips too.” Quickly, he added, “But not just your lips, I missed _you_.”

Magnus leaned in slowly with a small smirk and Alec didn’t struggle this time when their lips touched. Angling his head, their noses brushed and Alec sucked in a breath, breaking them apart. “I’m glad you’re feeling better and I’m more than happy to kiss you again,” Alec mumbled against his mouth, “but I don’t want someone coming in here to find us.”

Magnus brought a finger to his mouth to quiet him. “I’m sure Jace will understand.”

Kissing his finger, Alec’s lips trailed softly along it. “It’s not Jace I’m worried about.”

Pulling back a little, Magnus watched Alec’s lips against his finger. “I know we’re not out yet—hell, _you’re_ not out yet— but you’re working on it, right?” He cocked his head to the side. “Would it be the worst thing if someone _did_ catch us? That’s the worst-case scenario, though.”

Straightening his back, Alec alerted himself. “No. I mean, yes,” he said with a confused shake of his head. “I _do_ want to start telling more of the boys. I just don’t want one of them to know.”

Magnus nodded. “Which one? Of course, he doesn’t need to know if you don’t want him to, darling.”

Which one? He wasn’t sure. The _article_ didn’t specify which one. “I… I don’t know who,” he replied honestly. His brain wracked around who on the team the anonymous source in Jonathan’s article it could be. The boys were his friends, his teammates—why would any of them do something like that to him? Not just him, but Magnus too. But someone had. Someone on either the team or the coaching staff had.

Magnus raised an eyebrow. “Is it Coach Garroway then? Or one of the other coaches?”

“No, no,” he said back without thinking. A second later, he added, “Maybe. I-I don’t know, Magnus. I don’t know.” Alec felt defeated. It didn’t occur to him that Magnus had no clue what he was talking about, but that didn’t stop him from rambling. His mind thought of the two articles. They were probably nothing and his anxiety made it worse, but there was that small percentage that it could mean everything. Lydia had said she’d take a better look at it and have a statement ready if need be, but what if this guy found out he’s gay? There was no way to come back from that, even if it starts as a rumor.

Taking a deep breath, Alec tried to calm himself. Magnus was already looking at him weird, and he didn’t need the stress before a game.

Moving his hands to Alec’s arms, Magnus searched his eyes. “Alec, what do you mean? What happened?” Sighing, Alec took a deep breath. “Talk to me okay? That’s what fucked this up the first time.”

Alec felt a ping of regret and annoyance. “I _know_. I just— You were sick last week and I didn’t want to worry you.”

“With _what_ , Alexander?” Magnus’ eyes were soft but worried. Alec hated that he caused that.

He cleared his throat and dropped his tense shoulders and head. “There’s an article—two articles, actually—about us: you and me. The first one was about how much I hated you and the LGBT community. And, whatever, I could get past that one. But the second one—Simon showed it to me last week—and it said an _anonymous source_ said we would only talk when we’re not near others and wondered if our conversations were more personal. Then, he went on to say that the author would get to the bottom of it—of _us_.” His eyes were blown wide and he could feel the anxiety rolling off him. Not knowing what Magnus thought was making it worse. “It’s someone who sees us all the time and I don’t know who this anonymous man is.”

Magnus’ eyebrows shot up. “Alexander, why didn’t you tell me? You’ve been worrying about this all on your own.” The hands on Alec’s arms started moving again in a soothing manner. “It’s just an article, darling. I’m sure it’s no big deal.”

Sighing, Alec let his head fall back against the shower door. “That _Jonathan_ guy didn’t seem to think so.”

Magnus’ hands stilled before picking up again. “Jonathan Morgenstern? The journalist from Sports Illustrated?”

Shrugging, Alec nodded. “Yeah, I guess.” When Magnus chuckled and his hands dropped from Alec’s shoulders, an uneasiness swept through him. “What?” he whispered.

Shaking his head, Magnus looked up at him through his lashes, smile still present. “Jonathan is all talk, Alec. He’s an asshole who came after me when I came out seven months ago. He _always_ wanted to publish the newest information about me and made up fake shit. But, some people believed him and it was finally the push I needed to stay away from the media during that time.”

Relief waved over Alec and an unexpected sigh flew out of him. “So, he won’t do anything?”

“I, of course, can’t speak for him,” Magnus brought a hand up to caress Alec’s face, “but I doubt it.” Nodding, Alec twirled his ungloved finger around his shorts. “Want your bracelet?”

Alec’s heart raced and his eyes moved to Magnus’ in a question.

Magnus nodded down to his fidgeting hand. “Your rainbow bracelet, I mean. Before you freak out and think others seen it too, I watch you a lot.”

Trying to hold back a smile, Alec failed and cocked his head to the side. “You watch me a lot?”

Nodding, Magnus leaned his body in towards Alec’s. Lips nearly touching his, Magnus whispered softly, “I watch you a lot.” Then, quickly added, “In a non-creepy way, of course.”

Alec chuckled lightly, lips curling into a grin. “You’re too cute—”

“ _Lightwood_! _Bane_!” Alec’s heart froze and grin turned into a deep frown as Coach’s voice echoed in their locker room/bathroom. He let his head fall back with a slight bang, eyes closing, wishing for one more second of comfort from his boyfriend. “Where the _hell_ are you? _Let’s go_!”

Magnus bent down to collect his gloves and helmet and Alec turned and slowly unlocked the shower stall door. When the door squeaked open, Alec stuck his head out. When Coach Garroway spotted him a second later, he was met with a dark, angry glare.

He took a hesitant step out, eyes everywhere but on Coach. When Alec knew Garroway had seen Magnus come out after him, his stomach churned and an instant need to throw up came over him. But he didn’t. He wouldn’t in front of their coach. He would hold his head up firmly (or like a puppy, because honestly, that’s what he probably looked like).

When he reached his gloves and helmet, he slid them on, reaching for his stick angled against his locker door.

“I don’t want to know,” Coach said disinterested as he turned his backs to them.

Eyes wide, Alec’s heart raced. So much for head held high and all that shit. “Coach, it’s not what it looks—” Who the hell is he kidding? It’s _exactly_ what it looks like. When two people come out of a 4'x2' shower stall made for only one person, anyone could guess what was happening

“I _said_ , I don’t want to know, Lightwood. It’s none of my business.” Coach pulled the right side of the double doors open and leaned his back against it, arms crossing over his chest. “Now, get your asses out there. Your team needs you both tonight.”

 [][][][][]

“ _Alec_! You are lucky that we’re family, because if we weren’t, I might’ve killed you already!”

Uncrossing his feet from the coffee table, Alec leaned to the side to see the front door. “Jeez, I love you too, Max. What have I done now?”

Max stomped over with Isabelle lagging behind him. He didn’t seem particularly _mad_ when he stopped in front of him, upset, yes, but not pissed off. “You didn’t tell me that Magnus Bane, aka your boyfriend is _the_ _Magnus Bane_.”

Raising an eyebrow, Alec leaned back onto his couch, taking the remote in hand to lower the volume. Not that his brother needed the volume lower to speak over. _The Magnus Bane_ , huh? “I’m sorry?” he replied still confused. “I’m pretty sure there’s only one Magnus Bane in the NHL, Max. Kind of hard to mess up.”

“ _No_ , _Alec_ ,” the youngest Lightwood groaned. He picked up one of the brown throw pillows and literally tossed it at Alec’s face. He was so close that Alec didn’t have time to dodge it. “I don’t mean Magnus Bane: right winger for the New York Islanders. I mean Magnus Bane from hockey camp. The kid that came over during holidays and the boy we saw when we drove to Canada to see you play during the summer. _That_ Magnus Bane.”

“That’s why you made me drive all the way over here?” Izzy groaned from the other couch. “Really, Max?”

Alec knew he would figure it out sooner or later. Nodding, he patted the spot on the couch next to him and chuckled. “Which other Magnus did you think it was?”

His brother fell heavily onto the couch and shrugged. “I don’t know. Magnus Pääjärvi from the Saint Louis Blues? And… now that I’m saying it, it sounds ridiculous because he’s in Saint Louis and we’re not. Don’t say anything,” Max said sternly with a finger pointing in Alec’s face.

Then, Alec burst out laughing. Partially because his brother was unbelievably silly sometimes and also because Max was just adorable. When Max called out his name with a gasp, he finally slowed his laughing, wiping the unfallen tears from his eyes. He looked over at his brother who was frowning. “What? I didn’t _say_ anything.”

Max sighed. “Why didn’t you tell me? I’ve been going crazy for _months_ trying to figure out why his name was so familiar.”

A pang of guilt knocked on Alec’s heart and he leaned his head down onto Max’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. It’s a long story and I wasn’t sure if you even remembered him.”

His heart eased when Max rested his head on Alec’s. “I was only—wait.” Alec watched him count something on his fingers. “I was eight when I last saw him. Why wouldn’t I remember him?”

Shrugging, Alec said, “I don’t remember people I’ve met when I was eight.”

“Duh,” Max replied. “That’s because you’re old.”

“Hey!” He lifted his head from Max’s shoulder and glared at him jokingly mad. Mostly jokingly. He wasn’t _that_ old. “You’ll be 23 before you know it. That’s less than 10 years for you.”

Max waved a dismissive hand at Alec. “Yeah, yeah. You’ve told me all this before. But really, how could I forget someone that meant so much to you?”

Alec cocked his head to the side and took in his brother’s face. At such a young age, was he really able to see that Magnus was important to him? Yeah, they were friends and all friends are special to Alec, but they didn’t mean ‘so much’ to him. “I didn’t think it was that obvious,” he finally said.

“Obviously,” Max deadpanned. He shrugged and ran his fingers over the arm of the couch. “I didn’t know you were gay yet, but I knew something was different. I was so confused when he stopped coming. You were so sad, Alec.”

Alec’s heart hurt at how sincere he sounded. “Long story short,” he started softly, “I messed up our friendship and I was sad about it. But since he was traded here, things have gotten better again. _A lot_ better,” he said with a small chuckle. “And if it makes you feel better, he remembers you too.”

Scoffing, Max turned his way. “Of course, he does. Who wouldn’t remember me?” he asked outlining his face with his hands.

Alec rolled his eyes. “Yeah, you’ll get along really well.”

“Speaking of,” Izzy finally spoke up from the other couch. “When do we finally get to meet him as your boyfriend?”

Nodding, Max watched on with wide eyes. “Yeah, two months isn’t too soon to meet the family—to _re_ -meet the family.”

Alec loved his family. His siblings were so supportive of everything he did career wise and now relationship wise. His parents too. They loved that he chose to pursue hockey long-term. It started as an after-school activity his dad put him in when he was five. At that age, he was just starting to learn how to skate and it was so new for him, but he loved it—loved the rush he caught when the wind blew in his hair and the ice that melted on his skin.

His parents also never pushed him to find a girlfriend, thankfully. He based that on the fact that they were firm believers in hard work over relationships, but he didn’t mind because he would never find the girl they wished for him.  

Max seemed to read his mind because next, he said, “Part of the family, of course.” Meaning only himself and their sister. “What about when you get serious? You gonna tell mom and dad?”

Alec thought about this a lot since his and Magnus’ first date. Lying in bed with Magnus after their first time together put a lot of his future into perspective. It’s only been two months, but he truly feels like he and Magnus create these sparks that won’t ever go away even if they spent the next 7 years—hell, the next 14 years—separate again. Eventually, he knew he’d have to deal with his parents and face his fears. But if Magnus decided to stand with him, he might just make it through if the outcome isn’t what he wished. “I’ll tell them,” he nodded, mind still reeling with what-if’s. “They’ll know and if they don’t like who I decide to spend my life with, they can shove it.”

Hearing the words come out of his mouth gave him two completely different feelings. One, he hated saying anything negative about them. Alec loved his parents with all his heart. They gave him an incredible life and he doesn’t think there’s anything he can repay them with. And the worst part is, he knows they love him too… for now anyway. Those words were something he never thought he’d say. He never thought he would ever tell his parents he’s gay. There was never anyone who made him want to, until now.

Despite all that, he felt completely empowered like he could do anything and life would still be alright even if the earth crumbled around him (and Magnus because he couldn’t see the future without Magnus standing directly next to him).

“Wow, Alec,” Isabelle said with a smile in her voice. “I like this new, loved-up you. Seriously,” she leaned forward from the other couch and rested her elbows on her legs, “being in love suits you well, big brother.”

_Being in love_?

Then it clicked. Everything inside Alec just fit together like a puzzle piece; his brain was a maze and Magnus was at the center of it waiting for him with open arms.

Alec wondered how he hadn’t realized it before—that he was in love. With Magnus. And maybe has been since they were younger, or at least throughout their years apart.

He was nudged on the side and his hand instinctively came to rub it. Glaring at his brother, Alec elbowed him back. “Don’t tell me you didn’t realize you’re _in love_ , Alec.”

Still rubbing his no longer sore side, he pouted. “I _did_ ,” he mumbled.

Izzy scoffed. “Like, what? 5 seconds ago?”

A smile broke out on Alec’s face. And then he giggled—he fucking giggled. Because, yes, he was in love! And that was all the confirmation his siblings needed.

“God, you’re an idiot sometimes, Alec.” Izzy was suddenly next to him and her arms flew around his neck. Then Max joined, throwing his arms around them both, pulling them towards him.

Sucking in a deep breath, Max asked, “Is now a bad time to say I’ve known you were in love when I was 8?”

He was met by more of Alec’s giggles.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! It's the 20th of October, a beautiful Friday (mainly because it's my birthday :D)
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter! I've been looking forward to writing it since the idea of this fic came into my mind. It's a more hockey-centric chapter, so I do hope you still enjoy it.
> 
> New update on Friday's! #FtLotG
> 
> Edit: I'm really sorry to everyone looking forward to chapter 17, but I wont be posting a new chapter on Oct 27. Not only have I been having writers block, but I've been so stressed with classes this semester. I will add the new chapter on November 3rd. Sorry, I hope you understand <3

“Lightwood. Bane. In my office, now.”

Alec’s back straightened as a chorus of “Ooo” ran through the locker room. Coach did _not_ sound happy. He and Magnus exchanged looks as they set their gloves and helmets down before walking towards Garroway’s temporary away office. They had an away game at the Ranger’s stadium—aka. their rivals. They were still in New York (about 30 minutes from their arena on a good day without traffic) so they could still sleep at home.

Coach was a few feet from the office door when they reached him. Leaning in with soft eyes, he whispered gently, “I’m really sorry about this, but they forced my hand by driving in early this morning.”

“Who?” Alec almost whispered back, but Coach turned around purposely and strode into the tasteless office. Alec nearly froze when he saw that they weren’t alone in the small room.

He stared at the two men in suits and the woman sitting in Garroway’s coach chair. They were official members from the Club. Alec recognized at least one of them from public relations, but the others were new faces. His stomach bubbled as he thought of Coach catching him and Magnus in the showers. What if he told the club? What if they’re canceling his and Magnus’ contracts with the Islanders? His mind ran with the thought.

The woman smiled and gestured to the two seats in front of the dark wood desk. “Mr. Lightwood, Mr. Bane. I’m Rachel Schwartz the Islanders Social Media Manager, to my left is Kimber Auerbach Director of Communications and to my right, David Mayhew with Public Relations. We’re sorry to ambush you like this right before a game, but there is something we’d like to discuss with you both.”

Alec’s heart pumped erratically as he ran his eyes over them. Coach stood off to the side, arms crossed at the wrists. “Shouldn’t our agents be here if the office wants to speak with us?” Magnus asked. Alec was glad at least one of them had the balls to speak up. Then again, if this meeting was about what Alec assumed, Magnus had nothing to worry about. This was all his fault.

Rachel waved her hand dismissively with a smile. “No need. No legal action is required with this meeting.” They both nodded and she continued. “We’re unsure if you’re aware of the situation, but the club has been notified of negative… shall we say stories of the two of you. The most recent one was published last night by Sports Illustrated. As you know, they’re quite credible.”

Alarmed, Alec shifted in his uncomfortable seat and spoke up. “Last night? I wasn’t aware there was a third article.”

Rachel nodded and opened the flat manila folder sat on the desk. “So, you are informed of the situation.” She pulled out a printed page and flipped it in front of them. “You can see for yourself.”

Taking a deep breath, Alec leaned forward, Magnus following quickly.

_“Reconnection: Good or Bad Chemistry?” by Jonathan Morgenstern_

_It’s known that all hockey players either play against someone on a rival team or they were once great friends. In this case, getting into the nitty gritty of Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood’s lives show that not only were they on the same team once before, but they were also best friend’s during their summer camp program in Canada. Of course, this insight may come as a surprise if you don’t follow one or both players closely._

_Bane and Lightwood played on the same summer team for not one year, but for five and according to their then coaches, Dean Witherspoon and Arnold Feldstein, they were two peas in a pod until Lightwood left the camp. One can only wonder why Lightwood left a year earlier than supposed to. (Pictures below of Lightwood and Bane at camp)_

_Looking back onto the beginning of this 2017-18 season, the two old friends didn’t speak for 2 ½ months since their reunion. What had caused the tension between them from camp?_

Pulling back, Alec shook his head angrily. Why was his and Magnus’ lives so fucking entertaining to this asshole? And now the higher ups seem to be putting the blame on _them_ and not Jonathan.

Beside him, Magnus shrugged. “So? What’s the big deal that we played together?’

For the first time, David spoke up. “It’s not the fact that you played together, but that it seemed like you had trouble in the beginning of this season. Now,” he said, hand directing towards the article on the desk, “it seems to take a negative toll on the team and club as a whole. We’re just here to ensure that no further negativity will come from this.”

Alec swallowed as his heart thumped. What was going to happen? Rachel said no legal action, but was that really the case? Over a _negative_ tone towards their friendship? “Yeah, we were friends and friends fight sometimes,” he said numbly before shifting his eyes up to David. “But it’s fine now. We worked over out sh—stuff and it’s not effecting how we play.” Turning his head to Garroway, he asked nervously, “Right, Coach?”

Coach was now leaning against the pale wall with his arms crossed over his chest. It seemed like he was either watching closely or completely bored out of his mind. But when he nodded and uncrossed his arms, sending one hand into his suit pocket, Alec knew he was paying careful attention. “Your line work together with Herondale has been incredible since the season started. I don’t see any problems here.”

“Again, gentlemen,” Rachel said, “it’s about the negative publicity the team is receiving, not how you play.”

Magnus huffed and shook his head. Alec knew he was pissed too. “Okay, then how do we fix it? Clearly, Jonathan doesn’t seem like stopping anytime soon unless one of you try to speak to him.” _Which doesn’t seem like happening_ , Alec thought. “So, what can we do on our end to clear up the haze?”

“If either of you have a time-machine, that would be a great start,” Rachel replied. Wow. Alec concluded she’s a bitch. A fucking time-machine? Really?

He cocked his head and squinted his eyes. He hoped his facial expressions displayed how outraged he was. “Next option?” he asked.

Rachel shrugged and looked as if she was pondering her reply. “Just treat each other like you would treat another teammate. Visit each other outside of the sport the same amount.”

Fuck, Alec never wanted to scream out more than now, “So, I shouldn’t kiss Magnus and fuck him then? Too negative for you?” But he didn’t. He was sure he would have if he were out.

“We’re already doing that, though,” Magnus spoke. Alec saw out of the corner of his eyes the tenseness in Magnus’ jawline.

“Then,” Rachel smiled as he clapped her hands together, “it looks like there’s not much you need to change.”

“Look, I’m sorry to interrupt,” Coach said from his spot by the wall, “but I need to prep my team for our game tonight.” Alec didn’t think he sounded that sincere and instantly felt relief that this meeting was coming to a close.

“Oh, of course,” she said, standing and flatting her skirt. “We’ll get out of your hair.” She smiled as she shook Garroway’s hand (the other two silent men behind her followed) and then they shook Alec and Magnus’ hand.

The second they were out of the room, Coach nearly slammed the door shut and Alec wiped his hand on his shorts to get rid of the bitchiness that lingered on him. “ _That_ is why I’m a coach and _not_ the Director of Shitty Inquiries.” Alec’s head snapped up as Coach’s arms crossed again. “I understand that they’re worried about negative talk, but attacking the both of you like that was complete bullshit.”

“Thank you, Coach,” they muttered. Alec was glad he was on their side.

Alec’s heart thumped as he watched their coach lean against the door. Beside him, Magnus did the same. “I’m going to say this once, and once only. I can see that there is something going here,” he said waving his hands in their general direction. “I don’t care about that until it effects my team which it hasn’t and for the both of your sakes, I hope it doesn’t. Alec, I truly hope you find that strength one day that you’ve been giving to the You Can Play project for the past five years.”

Alec felt his eyes instantly fill with tears and he had to drop his head to his chest. Not because he was scared that Coach knew about he and Magnus, but he’s never heard from an adult before—a figure that he looked up to— that he deserved to be himself. That he was _allowed_ to be gay and it was okay.

He didn’t mean to, but he sniffled.

“I’ll give you both a minute,” he heard Coach say. “And I mean a minute. We have a game to play.”

“Thank you,” Magnus replied as he played a comforting hand on Alec’s back.

When the door was shut, Magnus angled his chair better and Alec finally wiped his eyes and the tear tracks on his cheeks. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”

Magnus shook his head the second he knew the direction Alec was going in. “Don’t say sorry. You’ve done nothing wrong.” He presented a tissue to Alec who in turn, gratefully took it and blew his nose. “And about those assholes, they’re just that. Coach said so himself.” Alec nodded. “Now wipe those tears and let me see those beautiful eyes shine because we have to go kick some rival ass tonight.”

Taking another tissue, Alec dabbed his face clean and smiled. Trying to sound confident again, he said, “The Ranger’s piss me off. Just saying their name makes me cringe.”

Grinning, Magnus kissed his lips quickly. “Good. Let them be your driving force tonight. Let all your anger out on them.”

[][][][][]

When they came out of the office, the guys were huddled in the middle of the locker room around Coach Garroway and Jace. Coach had already started his pre-game speech.

Most eyes turned their way when they came out of the room and Alec wanted to huddle back into the office with Magnus following closely behind for safety—he hated attention on himself. But he couldn’t do that especially when they stopped next to Lee who asked with questioning eyes if he was doing okay.

Alec nodded and stared at Coach, not adding on to the fact that everyone saw three club members walk out of Coach’s office. Lee didn’t ask again.

“We are not in our home,” Coach’s voice boomed. “We are, quite literally, in enemy territory tonight. Do _not_ let that effect you and your game. What are you here to do?”

In unison, the team yelled back, “To win!”

“What are you here to win?”

“Two points!”

Coach nodded approvingly. “You hit ‘em first. We know that the refs are going to be calling shit on us all night. Don’t let it get to you. They’re going to push you and taunt you, but you are going to play the game _our_ way. The first goal goes to you. The _game_ goes to you. Make me proud out there. I know you will,” he said finally, eyes landing on Alec’s. Alec swallowed and nodded at him. _Everything’s okay_ , it meant. “Good. Your captain, everyone.”

Coach took a step back and Jace took his place. “Team, stay calm out there. Don’t let them push us and make stupid mistakes. We know how to play.” The team nodded encouragingly and Alec’s body thrummed with energy. Being a part of something so incredible like this was better than he ever imagined as a kid. “This is the last game before our holiday break. This is _our_ moment,” Jace said. “We are meant to be here and play the best hockey that we can play. Let’s go!”

Coach took the spotlight again and called out. “Lightwood you’re out first. Lewis, you’re last. We go in five minutes.”

As they broke apart, Simon quickly shouted out Raphael’s name and something about a present. Alec watched as he shoved a tiny bag that said Merry Christmas on the front in Raphael’s hands.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Jace interrupted, hands pushing the two apart. “You got us Christmas gifts? What did you get me?”

Simon raised an eyebrow. “Dude, I’m Jewish. I don’t celebrate Christmas. Why would I get you anything?”

Alec barked out a laugh as Jace’s face fell. He kept glancing between Santiago and Lewis, eyes going from the small bag still unopened in the goalie’s hands and the Jewish man who gave out a Christmas present. “But,” he pointed to Raphael, “Him!”

Raphael looked completely out of place with the small green and red bag in his hand and Magnus chuckled from beside Alec. When Simon shrugged and urged Raphael to open it, Jace groaned and took a few steps back.

“What is it?” Raphael asked when he took out the small bag of charms.

Grinning, Simon nudged him with his shoulder. “Read them!”

Alec saw they were two puzzle piece keychains. “‘SL, you complete me’ and ‘RS, you complete me’. Again, what the hell is this, Lewis?”

“It’s our initials! You take the one with mine, and I take yours. They’re the ultimate friendship keychains.”

Raphael’s face held a small smile despite when he replied, “I’d rather take the one with my initials since I complete myself.”

Simon quickly yanked the bag out of his hand and pulled off the ‘RS’ one. “Too late! It’s mine.”

Jace groaned, clearly still being a child about the situation. Alec knew he was joking, but others probably wouldn’t. Kind of like Magnus who was raising an eyebrow at him. “Does your girlfriend know you’re loving up some guy?”

Simon laughed as he shoved the keychain into his bag. “If that were the case, I’m sure she would love to watch.”

Raising an eyebrow, Alec cocked his head. “Yeah, just don’t tell her brother that. I’m sure he wouldn’t want to know.”

“Hey! Alec…” Simon replied, eyes wide. “I forgot you were related to Izzy for half a second.”

“Is it because I’m so much better than her?"

“Uh, sure, man.”

Alec scoffed followed by a laugh as Coach came out of his office again. “Lightwood, let’s go!” Grabbing his gloves, helmet and stick, Alec dashed out the doors towards the ice, Magnus quickly behind him.

He circled around on the ice once more today since practice and headed towards the bench. The second line would be starting today.

They quickly found their spots and Alec beamed when he was in between Jace and Magnus. His two favorite guys.

Then, the whistle sounded and the puck dropped.

[][][][][]

By the middle of the second, the Islanders were up 2-1 against their rivals. Things were looking good and just as Magnus said, Alec was taking all his anger out on them. He even scored the second goal and pushed them ahead. But there were still thirty minutes to be played and Alec wouldn’t let one goal get to him. So much could happen in that time.

Madison Square Garden was rocking tonight. Since they were both New York teams playing, there was nearly an equal number of Islanders fans as there were Ranger fans and it brought a much-needed smile to Alec’s face.

Alec swiped one of the Gatorade bottles from where he sat on the bench as he watched the Ranger smash Minyard into the boards. There was a loud bang and Minyard had to take a second to shake out the kinks before chasing after the guy.

Once they went through the short cycle of the third line and then fourth line, Alec was back out there, racing to reach the puck first.

Jace took it and passed it to Magnus on his right as they entered the offensive zone. When a Ranger went his way, he passed it back to Simon who was open and banging his stick on the ice. He wound his stick up and slapshotted the puck towards the goal.

There was a moment when Alec couldn’t breathe just like every other time there was an opportunity for a goal. When he saw Lundqvist, the Ranger’s goalie, catch the fast puck in his hand, he sighed and circled around on his skates.

Coach signaled for them to stay out there and they gathered on Magnus’ end for the faceoff. Jace took to the center and everyone circled around them in hopes that their team would win the puck.

When the black disk hit the ice, sticks battled to swipe it towards their teammates. The Ranger’s won it and started to take it out of their zone into the Islander’s defense area. Simon and Meliorn, the two defense men out right now, skated up the ice and tried to catch then men. Alec watched them try to lift the Ranger’s sticks or poke their stick towards the puck, and it worked. Meliorn stole the puck back and shot it to Alec who was open.

The Ranger zone was clear and Alec circled back quickly, eyes glued to the goal and the best way he could put the puck in the net. He heard skating behind him and wasn’t sure which team it was, but he skated into the zone, just him against the goalie. Alec wound up his stick, lifting it slightly off the ground and slapped it down.

Instead of the puck flying down into the net like he hoped, it skited slowly down towards the corner of the rink. The crowed half cheered and half groaned. He looked down to see the problem, and his stick broke; the head snapped right off. He tossed the broken neck of the stick onto the ice and tried to see an optimal time to grab a new one.

He cursed under his breath as a Ranger scooped the puck up and tried to run it down the ice back to the Islanders zone. He had no way to defend the zone as he skated backwards, trying to lessen the Rangers eyesight.

He heard someone call out, “Go, go!” and he knew it was for him. He was out there for a while and when he grabbed his stick from Lee, he entered onto the bench and Minyard went out in his place.

Alec grabbed the Gatorade bottle filled with water and squirted some into his mouth before squeezing the bottle around his neckline, cool water dripping down onto his chest.

With only five minutes left on the clock for the second period, every second counted. A tied game could come from anything: an accidental turn over or a lost faceoff.

The one thing you _did not_ want when there was little time left was a penalty. And damnit, of course they got a fucking penalty.

The ref held his hand up as the Rangers skated into the Islanders zone. Garroway cursed behind them on the bench and when Alec saw the raised hand, he groaned. The Ranger’s goalie rushed to the bench and a sixth Ranger skated out to help their team. That meant that there was a penalty against the team who didn’t currently have the puck and since the Rangers were passing it amongst themselves, the Isles would be in the hole for two minutes.

A whistle rung out and skated out towards center ice. “Number 24, slashing.”

Shaking his head, Simon rushed over to the ref, number 24 standing proudly on his jersey. The crowd went wild as the DJ played a silly song signaling the Rangers would have a powerplay. The ref skated to the Islanders bench where Coach was waiting for an explanation. “My stick was nowhere near him!” Simon shouted behind him, still following.

The replay on the big monitor was ridiculous. Simon’s stick barely touched the other guy, but the ref still called it. “That’s bullshit,” Garroway shouted. The ref just shrugged and skated off towards center ice, making sure that Simon headed towards the penalty benches.

Penalty’s sucked because you were down a man. Unless you had really strong defense skills to turn around and score shorthanded, you’d be pretty much in your own zone playing defense the whole time.

Alec was back out there as they put two minutes on the clock for Simon’s penalty.

The Ranger’s scored only 35 seconds into the powerplay and Simon trudged out of the box defeated and pissed off. The game was tied 2-2 now and the Islanders momentum was almost gone. They needed that fire back, that spark of a flame ignited.

By the time third period rolled around, they had heard during intermission that they needed to keep their cool, don’t do anything that could get them a penalty because their men on the ice was precious.

Almost like a sweet victory—and a big fuck you to the refs— 4:15 minutes into the last 20 minutes of the game, Simon scored a third goal bringing them up 3-2. From their spots on the bench, the team jumped up from their seats and cheered as Simon came around to fist bump everyone.

For the next 13 minutes, they had the lead and they seemed to be dominating the period. Things seemed to be looking good for them. Until it wasn’t. Again.

With only 1:14 minutes left on the clock, the Ranger’s fucking scored again. But it wasn’t just a goal that pissed the Islanders off, it was the obvious goalie interference that the refs didn’t call.

A Ranger was just passed the puck from his teammate and as Alec came after him and checked him into the boards, he passed it along the boards to another teammate who took the shot. The offense man who Jace was supposed to be covering was literally in the goalie’s blue crease. As long as he doesn’t touch the goalie or interfere with his ability to move and stop the puck, he’s fine. But no, the Ranger was hovering over Santiago the whole time they were in the zone. Alec saw from the corner of his eyes the guy bump into Santiago who retaliated a pushed back. When The puck went in the net, the Ranger, still in the goalie’s crease, slid open his legs for the puck to slide effortlessly in, Raphael having no room to even reach out for the puck.

The team was pissed and Jace, only a couple feet from the guy, launched out and slammed his body into the Ranger. “What the _fuck_!” he yelled out at him, tossing his gloves off. The guy shoved him back and Jace slapped his hand away, quickly retaliating by throwing a punch into his face. Raphael skated away as more punches were being thrown and Alec felt giddy. Fights were energetic and brought much needed excitement to both teams.

Jace grabbed onto the Ranger jersey with one hand and punched with his other. But the Ranger swerved his head and took a punch back. Not before long, Jace had brought the Ranger down onto his back and took a few more punches before the refs finally interfered.

The Islanders on the bench tapped their sticks onto the boards in front of them and those on the ice did the same to acknowledge their obvious win. Even though both fighters would get a five-minute fighting penalty, it didn’t matter because there wasn’t much time left in regulation and they were still allowed the maximum people on the ice.

They had a five-minute overtime, and when neither team produced a goal, they went immediately into a shootout. Each team have three chances to score a goal, and if they tied, the rounds would keep going until one player scored. A shootout was one player against the goalie.

It turns out that the Islanders couldn’t get a goal against Lundquist and the Rangers popped one by Santiago on a stupid shot. The rangers won the game 4-3.

“Those bastards,” Jace grunted when they got into the locker room. “That goal was bullshit. Fucking shitty of the refs not to call that.” He held an ice pack against his bruised cheek from his earlier fight and Alec tisked at him as he started removing his jersey.

“I know,” Alec agreed.

Jace shook his head and lifted his arms to slide off his jersey. “It’s like the refs were swayed all night in their direction. Like, they called pointless shit on us just because we’re _not_ the shitty Rangers.”

Alec nodded and sat tiredly on the bench. “I know,” he said again.

Jace sighed as sat next to him, ice pack held onto his face. When he inclined his head slightly, Alec scooted over so he could rest his blonde locks on his shoulder. “We got them next time,” Jace said with a yawn.

Alec nodded and pulled his gear bag onto his lap, pulling out a few things to take into the shower with him.

“We’re not supposed to ask—literally, Coach yelled at us to leave you both alone earlier—” Jace spoke again, “but I thought since I’m your best friend, I’d get the inside scoop. Are you okay from earlier? With the officials, I mean?”

Sighing, Alec told him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: Again, I'm sorry for no new chapter this Friday. But there will be one on November 3rd. Thank you to everyone sticking around <3


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I'm back!
> 
> I am so sorry to those of you who were expecting a chapter last Friday. But I really needed a week off. Unfortunately, real life has been getting in the way too often for my liking. And I'm sorry to @mt27101990 for not having this chapter out on your birthday. Happy belated! Thank you for reading!
> 
> Honestly, thank you to everyone who have stuck by me for the last 4 1/2 months. It's honestly crazy to think people want to read what I write. Without further or do, chapter 17.

Alec shoved the last book onto the bookshelf and looked around at his apartment. It looked clean enough for Magnus to come over. Their second date was tonight, and Alec didn’t have much planned: just take out, maybe a movie or two and hopefully something a bit more fun afterwards.

He angled the remote that was set on the coffee table one last time, his slight OCD kicking in, and then took a step back thinking of anything else that he needed to do.

Grabbing his phone, he texted Magnus asking what he’d like from the Chinese takeout place, and as he moved to shove his phone back in his pocket, it rang.

Without looking at the caller ID, he smiled, thinking it was Magnus, and pressed talk. “Hello?” he drawled in a happy voice.

“ _Alec, honey? What are you doing_?” His mother’s voice ran down the line and his heart stopped for a second before relaxing again, smiling.

He cleared his throat and looked one more time around his apartment. “Hey, mom! Just, uh, you know. Chilling. What’s up? It’s been a while since we’ve talked, I’m sorry.”

She grunted down the line, but when she spoke, Alec could hear the soft smile in her voice. “ _That’s because you never call your mother anymore and you’re too busy to drive out east_.”

“Well,” he replied with a huff from falling ungraciously onto his couch, “the Hampton's is too far east to drive sometimes.”

“ _It’s only one and a half hours. You go out west all the time for games. You can always just drive out here for the day_ ,” she spoke sweetly. “ _Maybe like today? I know you have a few days off for Christmas and you’re coming tomorrow, but why not a day early_?”

She sounded hopeful and it broke Alec’s heart. But he couldn’t just come out to her and say the real reason. When faced with the reality of what him being gay meant, it was impossible to say anything. He cleared his throat again. “I would mom, but I have someone coming over and I don’t want to cancel so last minute.”

“ _Someone_?” The smile was clear in the voice that came through the phone. “ _As in a date_?”

 _Yes, as in a date_. “No,” Alec replied a little too fast. “It’s just one of the guys.” Technically not a lie. 

His heart pounded and he felt sweat form on his body as he waited for his mother’s reply. He knew there was no context to assume that he’s gay or dating one of his teammates, but his anxiety flared more than it had in a while.

“ _Tell Jace I said hello_.”

God, Alec’s anxiety must be high because he thought he heard hesitance in his mom’s voice, but it was probably just his head. He loves her, and they had a wonderful relationship together, but he constantly hides a huge side of him and hates it.

He silently sighed in relief and nodded even though she couldn’t see him. “I will. Say hi to dad for me please.”

“ _I will. Have a good time tonight and don’t forget to bring underwear. You forgot last time, remember_?”

Alec released a short breath followed by a laugh and a smile. “Did you think I forgot when you blurted it out to the whole Christmas party? All of your lawyerly friends stared at me for _hours_.”

Maryse chuckled over the line. “ _Good thing there’s a clothing store not too far from the house. Just a 10-minute trip and you were good as new_!” Alec wasn’t against wearing nothing under his pants, but his parents’ Christmas parties were always black-tie events. And his dress pants were kind of thin. It wouldn’t take a genius to know he was wearing nothing under them. “ _The Robbinson’s daughter didn’t seem to mind much_ ,” she laughed back, trying to stifle her giggles.

Alec’s eyes shot open. “Mom! Don’t _say_ that! I’m your son. You’re supposed to be grossed out while you yell at me, not laugh about it,” he replied, ignoring the _woman_ his mother spoke about.

“ _It’s out of love! Besides, I’m your mother; I’m allowed to laugh_.”

Alec groaned as the fingers not holding the phone brushed the edges of the throw blanket his sister insisted on buying him for his birthday last year.

Suddenly, there were three bangs against his front door. “Oh shit!” He looked at the clock on his wall and yup, Magnus was right on time. Then he realized what he said to his mother. “I- I mean shoot…”

He shook his head at a lame attempt to cover himself and sprung up from the couch and went towards the door. “ _You’re a grown man now, much to my dismay. You’re allowed to say what you please_.”

He hummed as he reached the door. “My—uh, Jace is here. I should probably go.” He swung the door open and Magnus stood on the other side holding a bottle of champagne and an Islanders backpack, makeup on his face. Alec grinned and looked him over.

“ _Alec! Did you even hear me?_ ”

“Oh! Uh, yes?”

He waved Magnus in and held up a finger and mouthed the word ‘mom’. Magnus’ eyes widened and nodded with a small smile. “ _What did I say then?_ ”

Alec groaned and rolled his head back as Magnus walked behind him and set the bottle on the island and his bag on the stool. “You already know I didn’t hear you. Do you have to ask that _every_ time?”

“ _It’s what I do,_ ” Maryse replied. “ _I said, make sure you let me know when you leave in the morning. We’ll have brunch when you arrive._ ”

“I will,” he said softly. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Love you.”

“ _Love you back. Have fun tonight!_ ”

When the call was disconnected, Alec tossed his phone onto the couch and turned towards his boyfriend. “I’m sorry,” he groaned as he made his way closer to wrap his arms around Magnus. “She called not too long before you got here. I didn’t even have a chance to order the food.” He pouted when he pulled away from their hug.

He was met with a grinning Magnus. “Believe me, it’s okay. Mother’s need love too, not just boyfriends who longingly stare at your ass when you turn away.”

Scoffing, Alec leaned in again towards Magnus’ ear. “I secretly love that though.” Then he pecked Magnus’ cheek with his lips before adding a kiss to his lips.

"Do you?” Magnus whispered between them.

Alec’s eyes shone as he nodded and Magnus’ weren’t any different. Alec wondered if Magnus could tell he was in love with him. He hoped he could. “What did you bring over?” He pulled away and leaned onto the counter looking at the bottle of champagne.

“Tease!” Feeling a bump against his hip, Alec looked back at Magnus who still smiled. “It’s nothing special. I know you like beer, but I figured I’d pick up something a bit more romantic.”

Humming approvingly, Alec glanced towards the bag on his stool. “And in there?” he asked with a nod.

“Forgive me for being suggestive,” Magnus started as he wrapped his left arm around Alec’s side pulling him closer, “but I hoped that maybe I’d need a change of clothes for tomorrow.”

Nodding, Alec pulled his body off the counter and turned towards him. “I’d been hoping the same thing.”

His heart fluttered when Magnus smiled, dragging their bodies together for a longer, passion-filled kiss than earlier. Alec gripped onto his shirt and tugged. Magnus hummed just as Alec’s stomach rumbled. He quickly pulled away from their kiss and looked down timidly.

“Sorry. I didn’t eat much today,” he said with a soft smile.

Magnus returned his smile and pulled out his phone. “It’s okay.” He kissed the side of his Alec’s temple and Alec shivered. “How about we order that Chinese food now?”

Taking the phone, Alec nodded. “Sorry I’m not a top chief like you are, Mr. Nasi Goreng King. The best I can do in a kitchen is use a microwave and open one of the drawers to find the takeout menu.”

Chuckling, Magnus tapped Alec’s ass with his hand as he walked towards the takeout menu drawer. “There’s nothing wrong with takeout!”

[][][][][]

Alec didn’t know it before this, but he was definitely a cuddler. Not that they were currently cuddling, but it was the ambiance of cuddling.

Netflix was on, the lights were dimmed low, it was getting darker outside and they were huddled on the couch with sweatpants, Chinese boxes and a blanket draped over them. They were shoulder to shoulder even though there was plenty of space on either side of them. Magnus held the remote as they flipped through e movie selection.

“What about action? You in the mood for that?”

Raising an eyebrow, Alec replied, “I’m _always_ in the mood for _action_. As for the genre, I don’t think I want to watch an action movie.”

After quickly wiping his mouth with his napkin, Magnus reached for his drink on the coffee table. “Alexander, you can’t just say that while I’m eating.” He shook his head jokingly as he picked up his chopsticks again. “It’s very unsafe.”

Alec looked at his boyfriend’s hand. “But I—” He cut himself off and shook his head while trying to suppress a laugh at his own joke. “I shouldn’t.”

Curious now, Magnus put his takeout box on the table and turned towards Alec, fixing the blanket as he went. “What?” When Alec shook his head again, Magnus tried again. “What were you going to say?”

Groaning, Alec covered his face with his hands, smile still present. “Oh, God.” He nodded his head towards the wooden chopsticks. “I was going to say, ‘But I thought you liked wood in your mouth’.”

Magnus barked out a laugh and doubled over onto Alec’s lap. “Wow! You are on a roll tonight, aren’t you?” Alec shrugged and groaned again. “Okay, so no action right now, but it’s definitely open to review later tonight.”

Grabbing the remote again, Magnus leaned his head on Alec’s shoulder turning back towards the TV 

“So, what _are_ you in the mood to watch?”

Alec thought about it. “You know, I’ve never actually seen The Mighty Ducks.”

“What!” Magnus pulled away and stared at him, mouth open. “You’ve _never_ seen The Mighty Ducks? You’re a _hockey_ player and you’ve _never_ seen The Mighty Ducks, aka one of the _best_ hockey movies of all time? _And_ your parents are lawyers which the coach is too. The kids are even rebellious like we were. And there’s, of _course_ , the typical Coach/Mother romance. It’s even got the old Disney logo in the beginning, so you _know_ it’s good.”

Alec held up his hands defensively. “Whoa, Simon Lewis, I get it,” he laughed. “Put it on then.”

[][][][][]

Just as Coach Bombay was showing the kids how to pass a soft egg on the ice, there was a knock on Alec’s door. Magnus reached for the remote and paused the movie with a raised eyebrow.

Alec shrugged and tossed the blanket off. “I have no clue who it is.”

“Take a stick with you. Beat them up as needed,” Magnus suggested with a smirk.

Walking backwards towards the main entrance, Alec laughed, “You know, despite what you see in movies and TV shows, New York isn’t always like that.”

“Just a tip!” he heard Magnus shout from where he sat still on the couch.

Before Alec could even reach for the doorknob, it turned from the outside and the door banged open. He wondered if he really should’ve taken a hockey stick with him, but he huffed a sigh when Jace stormed in past Alec and towards the living room. “I need to rant,” he said.

Alec followed closely behind after shutting the front door. With scrunched eyebrows, he asked, “O… kay. What’s wrong?”

Jace paced back in fourth in the living room before choosing to sit on the loveseat Max loved, and folded his hands into his lap trying to keep calm. “It’s Clary. She’s distant and I just—” He stopped mid-sentence and glanced at Magnus briefly. “Hey, Magnus.” He turned back towards his hands as Magnus nodded once at him. “I just don’t know what’s going on with her right now.” He looked up at Alec who stood in front of him just beyond the coffee table. “Is this the point in every relationship where I fuck it up and I don’t know how to fix it? I _want_ to fix this one, though.” Jace looked back down at his hands. “And I think Simon’s been ignoring me, but I can’t tell. What if Clary told him something horrible about me and he doesn’t want to be friends anymore? Or worse, Clary doesn’t want to _date_ anymore.”

“Maybe you’re reading too into this,” Alec said trying to calm his friend. “It could be nothing.” Alec watched Jace look up at him again. He could see the pain in his eyes and knew instantly that he felt something very strongly for Clary. Alec sighed and sat next to Jace on the loveseat and rubbed soothing circles onto his back.

“But it could also be everything. She’s my girlfriend and she should talk to me if she has a problem, right?

Alec nodded and hummed. “You could always ask her yourself. Maybe she’s stressed about her next semester of school? Simon said she was in her last year of university so she’s prepping for graduation, right? Don’t freak out until you know for a fact what’s wrong.”

There was a moment of silence as Jace nodded his head before looking up at Alec, eyes sad and heavy. In a whisper he said, “I just don’t want to lose her.”

Smiling lightly, Alec replied. “And you won’t as long as you fight for her.”

Nodding again, Jace looked as if he composed himself better now. “You’re right, as always.”

“Well, I do try,” Alec said with a grin, trying to fix the mood surrounding them.

There was another pause as Jace took a deep breath before standing, rubbing his hands together. “I, uh,” he glanced at the TV before looking at Magnus, “I’m sorry I interrupted your night.”

For the first time since Jace entered, Magnus spoke. “It’s okay. We weren’t doing anything special.” _Yet_ , Alec added in his mind.

Nodding almost awkwardly, Jace said to Magnus, “Enjoy your break.” Then, he went straight for the door.

“Jace,” shouted Alec as he got up to follow. When Jace turned around, separated from Magnus by a wall, Alec drew closer, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Tell me honestly: will you be alright?”

Smiling lightly, Jace wrapped his arms around Alec for a hug. “Yeah, I will. I’m going to talk to her like you suggested. Thank you, Alec. I’m sorry I barged in.” His eyebrows scrunched in memory of the pain, Alec assumed. “I just didn’t know what to do.”

Pulling back, Alec smiled. “It’s okay. You’re always welcomed in my home. Oh, and my mom says hi by the way.”

Jace full on grinned now. “Tell her I said hi back. And Merry Christmas! I love your mom.”

“I will. She loves you too,” Alec chuckled.

Glancing back towards the wall that separated them from the living room, Jace spoke in a lower voice. “Remember when you told me you made a rule to never fall for a teammate?” Jace asked Alec. “Does Magnus not apply?”

“Magnus _never_ applied. He may be my teammate again, but he’s always been more than that to me. I just never knew how to put that into words until I left him. And now? Us being together again, proves how incredible he is for me—to me—whatever you want to call it.” Alec shook his head with a smile. “Point is, Magnus doesn’t apply to that rule because he was the one that made me create it. He was the one teammate that broke down that barrier, and he’ll be the only one to ever do that for me.”

[][][][][]

“Look at you being an incredible friend,” Magnus said when Alec walked back into the living room.

Huffing a small laugh, Alec sat next to Magnus on the couch, pulling the blanket over himself again. “I do what I can.”

“And it was incredible to watch. So much so that I want to give you something.”

When Alec looked over at him and into his deep brown eyes, he knew that his gift wouldn’t be wrapped in a bag or wrapping paper. Playing dumb, Alec replied, “And what’s my gift?”

Magnus tossed the blanket off them and onto the floor. When he sunk down next to it, Alec felt a spark within himself, blood being sent to his lower half. “My mouth on your dick.”

When he reached up, Magnus’ fingers grazed over his skin where it met the elastic of Alec’s sweatpants. His touch was so soft— almost too soft—but it made Alec _want_ and he guessed that was the point. Magnus looked up at him from where he was sat on his knees and Alec unconsciously started biting his bottom lip.

Magnus traced his hand down Alec’s stomach and onto the sweatpants. His hand swiped over Alec’s hardening dick and he had to swallow and not buck up into the warmth that flowed from Magnus’ hand. His hand hovered over Alec, and Magnus leaned his body in.

Rising onto to knees and off his butt, Magnus brought his face close to Alec’s crotch, breathing over him. Alec felt himself grow a little more, but he wasn’t hard yet. But, boy, when Magnus mouthed at him through his sweatpants, Alec swore he could’ve came just from that.

Magnus’ mouth was warm as his lips wrapped around his clothed cock. Alec moaned lightly at the added pressure and watched Magnus’ lips form different shapes. Two hands were brought to the elastic and Alec helped him by lifting his bottom off the couch. Magnus lifted his head slightly, so he could drag the pants down to Alec’s ankles.

Pants down, Magnus’ mouth returned to Alec’s body, eyes closed. Magnus’ lips ghosted over the inside of his thighs and a shiver ran through Alec’s body. Small kisses and licks were placed on his light skin, making him harder. His cock was getting fuller with each kiss and when Magnus trailed back up his leg, Alec groaned and slid his fingers into Magnus’ hair.

“Magnus,” he gasped. It’s only been a few minutes, but Alec was hard now, cock bouncing in anticipation.

Magnus opened his eyes and looked up at Alec who had to suck in a breath because of how beautiful his boyfriend was. He was truly a lucky man.

In a whisper, eyes tense, Alec said, “Please.”

Then, Magnus leaned in, eyes still attached to Alec’s, and licked a long stripe on the underside of his dick.

Alec lost his breath, and when he finally able to breathe, it was shaky and erratic. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer.

Magnus finally took him wholly into his wet, heat. The tightness of Magnus’ mouth made Alec shudder. It was the perfect amount of pressure as Magnus’ tongue swirled around his underside. It reminded Alec of all those years ago when Magnus was his confident 16-year-old self.

Accidentally, Alec bucked his hips up when Magnus took him deeper. “S-Sorry,” he breathed out, eyes wide. Magnus pulled off for a second before taking him back in, mouth pumping at a new pace; a faster tempo than before.

The pressure inside Alec was building and he felt inside his abdomen the swirling of his orgasm, ready to burst. He grunted and tugged on Magnus’ hair who moaned around him, sending pleasure-filled ripples through his cock.

“Oh, Magnus,” Alec moaned. “S-So good, babe.” That encouraged Magnus in all the right ways. He sped up his head and took Alec in as deep as possible. He held Alec in his throat for a few seconds, eyes boring into Alec’s, before releasing him to restart his small routine.  

Alec felt the second his body was tipped over the edge. His insides coiled, and his breathing shortened just before that beautiful release. He came with a shout of Magnus’ name in a late warning, but it didn’t matter because Magnus swallowed him down.

[][][][][]

They finally made it to the bed after Alec returned the favor, movie completely forgotten, and Magnus shut the curtains— because Alec “really should learn to shut the blinds. Who knows who could peek in”— they climbed under the covers naked and curled into each other. 

“What time is your flight to Cali in the morning?” Alec asked, legs thrown over top Magnus’.

Wrapping an arm around Alec’s body, Magnus replied, “10:30 am. I need to be there early, though; holiday traffic and all.”

Alec tried nodded, nose brushing with Magnus’. “I’ll drop you off if you want.”

Eyes scrunching, Magnus asked, “I thought you were going to see your family? 

“I can leave after,” Alec replied followed by a short kiss on the lips. His hand traced the muscles on Magnus’ back and he felt goosebumps rise. “It’s truly for selfish reasons.”

Chuckling, Magnus’ feet rubbed against Alec’s and Alec almost wanted to pull back at how cold they were. “It’s not selfish if I want you to.”

Alec shook his head with a smile. “Nope, I’m still greedy. Don’t forget about me when you visit your friends.”

Magnus’ eyebrows shot up. “Ha! As if. I won’t be able to stop thinking of you. I’ll be so distracted that Ragnor will want me to leave.”

Scoffing, Alec tightened his grip around is boyfriend. “Yeah right. Who wouldn’t want to be near you every second of the day?”

“You’d be surprised then,” Magnus said quieter. Alec wondered what that meant. Now louder, Magnus said, “I wish you could come with me. They’ll love you too, Alexander, I know it.”

Alec raised a questioning eyebrow and his heart beat faster. “Too?” He smiled as he looked over his boyfriend’s face. “That implies that some else, preferably in this room, loves me.” Their eyes connected, and Alec saw the shine in Magnus’ dark ones. He instantly felt giddy.

Smiling softly, Magnus looked over at him shyly from his spot on the bed. “Alexander, I love you.”

Biting his lip, Alec smiled as their eyes stayed connected. “You love me?” he whispered back.

Magnus nodded. “Yes, I am _completely_ in love with you. I’ve loved you for a long time.”

A breath of air left Alec, and for the umpteenth time that night, Magnus stole his breath. But it didn’t matter, not when he had Magnus and Magnus had him. As long as they were together, Alec didn’t mind losing his breath every time he was near Magnus.

Curious now, Alec asked, “How long?”

Magnus smiled shyly again and it was so unlike his character, but Alec liked that Magnus was comfortable enough with him to reserve himself. “I don’t remember the exact amount, but I realized it a couple years ago.”

Alec’s eyebrows shot up. “Years? Magnus, I’m very much in love with you too.”

Magnus’ smile grew wider and his grip on Alec’s body tightened. “You are?”

Alec nodded as he leaned in for a kiss. “For years.”

“My Alexander, I love you.”

My

_My_

Alec grinned. He was Magnus’ and they were in love. He wasn’t sure if he would ever get over that.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm sorry, I'm a day late. But I decided last minute too add something at the end (I think you'll really like it)
> 
> So, I've been super stressed lately with real life, so I'm unfortunately taking next week off from posting so I can get my bearings in order. I'm going to definitely think about the direction of the rest of this fic (and hopefully come up with how many chapters there will be). I hope you can understand! I just want each chapter to be the best for you all because I care so much about your opinions. So, our next update will be November 25th <3
> 
> Thank you for reading <3 I truly do love you all.

“Alright, alright,” Alec laughed. “You’ve kissed me 20 times already and I haven’t even put my bag down yet.”

“A mother is allowed to kiss her son,” Maryse said with one last peck to his cheek.

Alec felt the bag on his shoulder be pulled from him and heard the thud on the ground, his dad releasing the black strap from his grip. “Darling, he will be here for three days; there’s plenty of kisses to go around, I assure you.” Then with a smile, Robert turned his attention to Alec. “Son, it’s so good to see you again!”

Grinning, Alec pulled himself out of his mother’s grasp and into his fathers. Mouth pressed into Robert’s neck, he muffled. “It’s good to see you too. I missed you, dad.”

“I missed you too, Alec.” When they pulled away, smiles present, and his dad picked up his bag from the floor, Robert continued. “How was the drive? Not too bad on your rear, I hope?”

Scoffing, Alec followed as they went towards the main living space. “My _rear_ is perfectly fine, thanks, though, for being worried. I’ve been on planes longer than that drive, you know,” he replied with a small smile.

He slid his heavy winter coat off and folded it over the kitchen table. He looked over to his dad who went to sit on the coach. Alec’s always loved this open floor plan. The kitchen, where his mother was now, was bright with colors that depicted Maryse’s love for life despite her hard job at being a lawyer. It flowed perfectly into a space for a breakfast table where he was now before turning into a living space with a gigantic TV, couch and plush rug that cover the beautiful hardwood flooring.

“Of course, I do, Alec. I figured it’s polite to ask,” his dad replied leaning over the back of the couch to see him. “You may as well come over. Your mother has been in there all day,” he said with a nod of his head to the kitchen. “But I don’t know when she’ll be done.”

“It’ll be done when I say it’s done!” Maryse called back.

Alec had to stifle a chuckle. Damn, it felt good to be back home.

But that didn’t mean he would take back his life for it.

As he walked towards the couch, Alec pulled out his phone and brought Magnus’ name up. He wanted to call, but that wasn’t an option right now.

 _Hey, I know you’re still on the plane, but I wanted you to know I made it in okay_ , he texted before quickly adding, _Love you_ , just because he can now.

He smiled at Magnus’ name on his screen and stuffed his phone back into his pocket before falling onto the couch next to his dad.

“Anyone special?” his dad asked.

Alec raised an eyebrow. “Oh.” _Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. So special._ “Nah,” he said with a shake of the head. “Just texting Izzy to see where she is.”

His dad scoffed. “Your sister isn’t special?” he chuckled. “Besides, you know her. Always staying in bed until the last possible moment when she doesn’t have work. It’s only…” Robert looked at his watch, “10:40-ish am. Give her another 20 minutes until she rolls down the stairs in her pajama’s.”

“And Max?” he asked.

Robert shrugged before looking over to Maryse. “Honey? Where’s Maxie again?”

“At DJ’s,” she called back. “He’ll be back around noon.”

When his phone buzzed, he checked the name and grinned when it was Magnus. “Don’t tell me Isabelle’s up already,” his dad said. _There’s Wi-Fi on the plane, darling. Glad you made it in okay. Love you back_ , Magnus replied.

Alec’s heart pumped in good and bad ways. Good because just wanted to come out and tell them about Magnus. So much has changed in the past four months since Magnus was traded to the Islanders. His boyfriend has helped him in so many ways to become who he is now. But it was also bad because he didn’t feel ready. His brain was too confusing because nothing, when it came to telling his parents about Magnus, made sense.

The grip on his phone tightened. “Yes?” It was more of a question which is _not_ how he intended it.

Robert raised an eyebrow, clearly skeptical. “So, someone special?”

Unintentionally, Alec shifted his body uncomfortably. The suddenness of his movements probably gave him away. A rush went through him and he wasn’t sure how positive or negative it was.

“Alec, you’re 23. You’re allowed to date,” his dad chuckled. “In fact, I’d like grandkids sometime in the future. My little girl is not having children until she’s in her 30’s and Max is still too young. So,” Robert drawled, eyebrows wiggling.

He felt like he couldn’t breathe. “I-I never thought I would—”

“Have kids? You don’t want kids?”

“No, I- I do. I just—I haven’t thought much about it yet.” _I never thought I would have a family with someone I loved._ “It’s still all very new between us. Let’s talk about something else.”

Robert nodded slowly, and Alec hoped he would change the subject. “What can you tell me about Izzy’s boyfriend? Your mother and I are meeting him tomorrow at the Christmas party.”

[][][][][]

“Seriously, you can’t not talk to him for two days? I swear, it’s been two days and all you’ve done is text on that phone of yours.”

Magnus rolled his eyes playfully and crossed his feet at the ankles on the coffee table, phone in hand. “I’ve _not_ texted the _whole_ time, Rags. You must be forgetting things faster than you originally thought, old man.”

Ragnor turned to look at Cat with wide eyes. “Is he kidding? _Please_ tell me he’s kidding.”

 _Of course, I still remember you, silly. As if I could ever forget your face_ , he texted back to Alec.

Catarina raised an eyebrow and rested her hands on her hips. “About the texting or the ‘old man’ comment? Because—Well…” She looked him up and down with a little twinkle in her eye.

Groaning, Ragnor sank into the couch next to Magnus who was leaning over to give Cat a high-five. “I _must_ be getting old because I’ve forgotten how much you both _love_ to gang up on me. At least Church is on my side, right, boy?” He swept a gentle hand over Churches cat fur whose body was slung in between he and Magnus.

“Oh, hush,” Magnus said as he leaned his hand down to run it over Church’s back. “He’s only on your side because you’re both grumpy, old men who will never find love.” Leaning down towards Church and speaking in a baby voice, he said, “Isn’t that right, Church? You’ll never find love?”

If eye rolling could be heard, it would ring out across the room, bouncing off the walls until it fell into his lap. Ragnor was the king of eye rolls. Magnus looked up towards his friend from where his body was leaned over the cat and he smiled. “Admit it: you miss me—you miss this.”

Ragnor shook his head stubbornly and folded his arms. “I miss nothing.”

“Oh, would you two kiss and make up already?” Cat said from the other couch. “You’re like children sometimes, I swear.” Magnus and Ragnor both turned their head towards her, straight faced as if their children-like behavior was non-existent. “I rest my case.”

His phone beeped in his hand and Magnus eagerly unlocked it, revealing the message from his boyfriend. _Just making sure. You *are* only an hour away from Hollywood. Who knows if you’ll find some hot, rich man or woman._

Frowning, Magnus' replied,  _Not that money is important because I have my own, but if you have forgotten, I already have a hot, rich man at home._

Looking at the clock on his phone, Magnus jumped onto his feet. “Shit, it’s late! I have to meet the guys in a half hour.”

 “The guys?” Cat asked. 

He jogged over to the mirror that was hanging on the wall above a small single-seater La-Z Boy recliner. He climbed onto it and stood so he could see himself better in the mirror. “The Ducks! My old team. Have you forgotten, dearest Cat? I’m meeting up with some of my old teammates.” He tilted his face to see each angle. Hastily, he asked, “Makeup, or no makeup? No makeup, thanks!”

He jumped off and rushed into Ragnor’s guest room where he was sleeping for his short stay. “What are you doing?” he heard Ragnor call out.

Ignoring him, Magnus pulled a makeup wipe from his suitcase and scrubbed it against his face, especially his eyeliner where it was heavy in the creases. He was out to his teammates for over a year before the world knew, but he has always been conscious about looking his true self around them. They supported him, but makeup might be pushing it.

_Beep! Beep!_

He tossed the ruined makeup remover cloth into the trash by the door and pulled out his phone.

* _Gasp* You do? Where are you hiding him? Your closet?_

Magnus grinned and typed out a response. _No, but if he’d like to be, he can “hide” on my bed naked._

Quickly, he stuffed his phone back into his pants pocket and pulled on a new shirt after smelling the one he was currently wearing. Then, he reached over the bed to grab his black jacket.

The main space was warmer than the bedrooms. Ragnor was saying something as Cat sipped on her decaf— no sugar just a hint of milk— coffee. When Magnus asked her once why she constantly switched from decaf to regular on a daily basis, she replied, “ _I’m a nurse, Magnus. I have to be up at 5 am every morning. I break out the good stuff for the morning, and the lame decaf for night, duh._ ” He just nodded, small smile playing at his lips.

“Alright you crazy kids, I’ll be back later,” he said loudly, disrupting what Ragnor was saying. “Rags, don’t wait up for me. Also,” he said grabbing Ragnor’s car key’s off the counter top, “mind if I take these? Thaaanks!”

Ragnor groaned and waved his hand languidly. “Just don’t hurt her! You scratch, you pay!”

Sliding his jacket over his arms, Magnus rolled his eyes. “Okay, _dad_ , I won’t.”

After he shut the door behind him, he pulled out his phone to read Alec’s reply.

_I think he’d like that._

[][][][][]

Alec’s parents held their annual Christmas party, and it was today. They held it in their community’s clubhouse and all of the Lightwood’s lawyer friends and famous clients would join. They, unfortunately, didn’t have much family left alive to attend.

Simon had annoyingly created a group chat between himself, Alec and Izzy the day before asking what their parents are like and what to do to impress them. Alec said all the stupid answers and Izzy, from her spot next to him, punched his arm. He winced and had to rub it.

Now, when Simon finally pulled up into the driveway, Isabelle squealed and jumped off the couch, running for the door. Alec, surprisingly, hadn’t seen them together yet besides that one time in the hallway after a game. He knew they cared deeply for each other, but had never seen it. And, honestly, it would be nice to have a friend at one of these parties—they were boring as hell.

“He’s here!” Alec shouted towards his parents and Max who was on the couch adjacent to him. “If there’s any dead sound, ask him about Star Wars. That always gets him going,” Alec chuckled as they all got up to head towards the door.

By the time they reached it, Izzy’s arms were slung over Simon in a hug and his bag was dropped at their feet. Alec’s head cocked to the side as he watched with a smile. It was kind of weird bringing his work life into his home life. It was comforting, however, and he also hoped that not only could his parents accept two hockey players into the family—himself and Simon—but maybe they can shoot for three and throw in Magnus too? One day, anyway…

When they pulled away, Alec swooped in for a hug. Simon almost seemed surprised, but he quickly relaxed into it and sang softly, “Reunited and it feels so good!”

Drawing himself away, Alec shook his head with a smile. “Don’t. Why am I friends with you?”

Simon shrugged. “You were kind of forced to,” he grinned back. When Izzy didn’t immediately jump in to introduce him, Alec gave her a nudge.

“Oh!” She smiled brightly and turned towards her family. “Guys, this is Simon Lewis, and this is my mom Maryse, my dad Robert and little brother Maxie.”

Max scowled at his sister. “Actually, it’s just Max,” he mumbled.

Turning towards Simon, Alec held out a hand for a shake. “Alec: older brother,” he said, trying to sound intimidating.

Nodding, Simon shook his hand. “We’ve met a few times, actually.” Despite trying to be threatening, Alec still smirked, trying to hide his playful smile.

Maryse immediately went in for a hug once their hands weren’t together anymore. “It’s so nice to finally meet you! We’ve heard a lot about you over the years. My daughter likes you very much.” The woman pulled back, her hands clutched to Simon’s arms, smile present.

“ _Mom_ ,” Izzy groaned.

Everyone ignored her, and Simon grinned back. “Good things only, I hope. It’s very nice to finally meet you too, Mrs. Lightwood. You have a lovely home.”

Cocking her head to Isabelle as if Simon weren’t there, Maryse smiled brighter. “He’s polite! I like him already!”

Alec shook his head with a smile and leaned into Simon with a whisper. “Welcome to the Madness, Lewis.”

“Oh, would you!” Maryse swatted his arm with her hand and pulled away as Robert maneuvered his way to Simon.

“Mr. Lightwood. It’s a pleasure,” said Simon with a nervous swallow, sticking his hand out for a shake. “Isabelle’s told me a lot about you.”

“You can call me Robert,” he replied with a soft smile, shaking Simon’s hand. Then he leaned in for a gentle hug which Alec was surprised about. “My daughter never brings home any boyfriends. You must be special,” he heard Robert say.

“Oh, I hope so.”

Alec’s pocket buzzed, and he dug his hand in to retrieve his phone.

_Miss you even though we’ve gone longer than two days without seeing each other. Oh, also, I love you._

Alec grinned at his text from Magnus. _I love you too. And miss you, of course. Meeting the Ducks yet?_

_Walking into our usual hangout spot right now. Don’t know if I’ll be able to respond as quickly to you :(_

_We have our party tonight, so don’t worry._

“Lightwood, you coming?”

Simon was halfway down the hall to the main living space and Alec was left alone in the foyer. Rushing over, he stuffed his phone back into his pocket.

“How’s your secret boyfriend doing?”

Alec scoffed, but there was a smile on his lips. His parents were already in the next room over. “I never confirmed or denied that to you,” he said, thinking back to the night he came out to Simon, Meliorn and Minyard.

Humming, Simon adjusted the Islanders backpack on his shoulder. “You may have said no, but your eyes and actions screamed yes.”

He chuckled and his heart sored. “Hypothetically, if I _did_ have a secret boyfriend, he would be doing well and meeting up with friends right about now.”

When they reached the entrance to the main room, Simon stopped, so Alec stopped next to him. “Why is he, hypothetically, not here with you?”

Sighing, Alec leaned against the wall. “Because he, hypothetically, has a life outside of being with me and I’m not yet out to my parents in either reality. But I’d really like to have him here one day with my family. Hypothetically, of course.”

[][][][][]

Alec needed to get away.

He loved his parents, but their friends—if you could even call them that—were suffocating him with their boring lawyer jargon.

The six of them had taken the car over, but it wasn’t that far of a walk. It was bitter outside when Alec stepped out of the clubhouse. The crispness of the harsh weather was almost what he needed to calm him from the commotion inside. Almost.

He pulled his winter coat closer to his body and fixed his scarf so it covered his neck in all the right places. Izzy had given him a Christmas gift a day earlier and thankfully she did because it came in handy right now. They weren’t expensive gloves, but they did allow him to be on his phone while wearing them.

 _Are you home yet to talk?_ He texted Magnus. _I’m walking home. These parties aren’t my type of scenes._

He passed a block before his phone buzzed. _Just got in the car to head back. I should be no more than 20 minutes._

Alec groaned. He knew he shouldn’t text and distract Magnus while he was driving, but he was in a cuddly mood and his boyfriend was almost 3,000 miles away.

 _I can’t wait to see you and give you a big kiss on your cute face._ Alec held up his phone to his face, the camera setting on. He put on his best pouty face and snapped the picture before adding it to his text, quickly hitting send before he regretted it.

He turned down his block and breathed deeply into the cold air. He could see his breath leave his mouth in a fogy, smoke-like way and he pulled his coat tighter against his body. He checked the time again. The party ended at 1 am. He definitely didn’t think he could handle another hour and a half. He was glad he was (technically) the host so he could leave when he wanted.

He looked at the screen just in time, because then, a new message popped up.

_I’m trying to drive and you distract me with YOUR BEAUTIFUL FACE?! That was pure evil of you, Lightwood. Just wait until I get home._

Alec grinned and his heart fluttered. _Is that a threat? Are you trying to get back at me? I’m walking into my house now. You still have to drive for 10 minutes._

He knew the perfect way to continue being in the lead. The second the front door shut behind him, he pulled off his coat and scarf and dashed upstairs to his room. He wasn’t tired—not really—but he had plans. A new messaged buzzed in.

_I’ll say it again: EVIL. But in all the right ways, baby._

Stripping his shirt as he tried to type back, Alec fell onto the bed.

_In all the right ways, huh?_

He pulled his pants and boxers down all in one go and crawled onto his bed. He flopped onto his back and spit into his hand. Gross, but he definitely didn’t have lube at his parents’ house and he didn’t think to bring it. He brought his hand down to his limp dick and pulled on it.

Alec thought of Magnus. He thought of him a few nights ago when he was on his knees for him, sucking him dry. Then he thought of their first time together and how _perfect_ it was. How perfect Magnus was—is.

Some people say love is a weakness because you let all your guards down. But Alec disagrees. Magnus has made him a better man and allowed him to see clearer. He _wants_ his guards down and he wants Magnus.

Alec spit into his hand again twisted his wrist just the way he liked it. He was definitely harder now when his phone buzzed again.

He picked it up with his unused hand as he continued to stroke himself.

 _What does your pretty brain have in mind for me?_ Magnus asked.

Alec smirked again through a low groan and clicked on the camera app. He held his dick at the base and snapped the picture. He sent it to Magnus with the caption, _We’re lonely and missing you <3 _

The reply way immediate in the form of a FaceTime call. His heart sored as he answered it, pulling lightly on himself.

“Hi,” he said shyly.

The image was a little pixilated, but he could see Magnus behind the driver’s wheel. “ _You can’t just do that and expect me not to drive faster._ ”

“I kind of hoped you would—while still being safe, of course,” he said a little breathlessly.

“ _Shit, are you still touching yourself?_ ”

Alec flipped the camera so it showed his hand and cock. The spit was long gone, but his precum was a welcomed substitution.

“ _Alexander,_ ” Magnus groaned. “ _Five minutes. Can you hold off for five minutes?_ ”

“Mmhmm,” he mumbled back. He honestly hoped he could. It was getting harder and harder to not touch himself.

He watched Magnus on the screen as he drove. Magnus’ eyes kept glancing to his phone every few seconds and he would comment on how beautiful Alec looked and it only spurred him on. Alec could see the bulge in his boyfriends pants.

“ _This road is too long. I swear I’ve been on it for a half hour.”_

Alec chuckled as best as he could. “You’re just eager to get home. For good reasons.”

Magnus switched the phone to his other hand. “ _Ragnor better be sleeping_ ,” he said.

It sounded like the engine of the car was turned off. Alec’s suspicions were confirmed when Magnus tore the car door open and hurried inside his friend’s house.

When another door shut behind Magnus, Alec assumed it was the guest room he was staying in. “ _Alexander, can you move your hand slower? Teasingly?_ ”

Oh, yes he could. He did as told, and waited for further instructions as his boyfriend took his clothes off.

“ _You don’t realize how beautiful you are_.” Magnus turned the camera and Alec’s breath caught when Magnus’ hard dick came into view. “ _Look how hard you’ve made me and you’re not even here_.”

Whimpering, Alec had to squeeze the base of his cock to keep from coming too soon.

A bottle snapped on Magnus’ end and he brought a lube covered hand towards his dick and pulled. The sound Magnus made threw Alec’s hormones all over his body. He felt tingly and buzzed with happiness. “Jesus, Magnus,” Alec breathed heavily.

Magnus’ hand moved quickly along himself and Alec knew he was close. This was nothing like watching porn. This was so much better. “ _I’m already so close just from watching you_.”

“I’m so close,” he replied, hand not nearly moving as fast as Magnus’. He would have been long done if he had.

“ _Alec, go faster_. _Please, I—you can cum._ ”

He swallowed and swirled his hand over the small hole to spread the precum evenly along his length. Then, he fastened his pace. He paid special attention to the wet sounds that he loved so much and looked at Magnus and tried to match his thrusting. “Magnus,” he groaned. Oh, he was so close—too close.

 _“Alec—”_ Magnus’ voice was rough, but so, so hot, _“Alexander—come for me.”_

That was all he needed. Alec let go and allowed his body to take control of what it wanted. He felt his body tense and his hand moved at a fast pace, needing to finish off. Then, hot spurts of cum flew from his dick and he arched his back off the bed. “Fuck, _Mag-nus_ ,” he groaned.

“ _Shit_ ,” he heard through the phone. “ _Fuck, I’m coming!_ ”

Alec tried to open his eyes to watch. His orgasm was calming down which allowed him to see Magnus’ coming over himself. “Wow,”’ Alec breathed once they switched the cameras back to their faces.

“ _You could say that again_ ,” Magnus chuckled once he calmed down. “ _I love you_.”

Alec smiled sleepily and replied, “I love you back.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to start off by sayin sorry for not posting last week like I said I would. I had to attend a sad family event. 
> 
> But I'm back this week! I've hashed out the rest of the story with the beautiful ash (@Quite_Magical) and there will be 7 chapters (including this one and the epilogue) left! I'm excited for everyone to read what I have planned! Also, I didn't have time to read over it, so sorry for mistakes!
> 
> Thank youbfor sticking with me if you have. It honestly means soo much to me. I really hope you stick around for the 3 projects I have planned after this one finishes! 
> 
> Onto chapter 19!

January’s weather was brutal. A light snow was dusting the ground as Alec parked his car in his usual players spot near their entrance. Jace was busy pulling all of his things together while the heat was still on; he didn’t want to stand outside longer than he needed to.

Alec put the gear into park, shut off the ignition and unplugged his phone from the charger connected to his car. He fell asleep while FaceTiming Magnus last night and didn’t have time to plug it in this morning. He quickly checked the percentage and grumbled. He’ll definitely have to find another outlet during today’s game.

“On three, ready?” Jace’s bags were slung over his shoulders and he had a hand placed on the door handle. He looked like he was ready to climb a mountain. He bought a winter coat a size too big just so he could wear layers underneath. He wore an Islanders hat on his head and over his ears and wore thick gloves, a scarf, and snow boots. Alec, however, still had his seatbelt on, phone in hand, and his bags were stuck in the back seat with his coat. “3… 2… 1. Go!”

The blond opened the door and rushed out to the arena entrance. The wind hit Alec in the face as he watched Jace run the 20 feet to the door. Would it be bad if Alec hoped he slipped? Jace would be cushioned by his coat and bags; he’d be fine.

But he didn’t. Instead, he was hopping by the door waiting for Alec, waving his arms. Alec, in turn, had to laugh at how ridiculous Jace was. The blond was too lazy to reach into his wallet to grab his keycard.

Alec unbuckled his belt and threw open the door. He pulled his bags out of the back seat and hauled the straps over his head.

“Dude! Hurry up! It’s freezing! I’m an ice cube!”

Chuckling again, Alec pulled out his keycard from his pocket. “Maybe you should’ve waited to see if I was ready to get out of the car,” he said back.

Jace groaned. “Alec,” he drawled. “You are the—”

“Best friend you’ve always wanted?” Alec finished as he swiped his card over the sensor. Jace instantly pushed the door open.

Scoffing, Jace slammed the heavy door shut behind Alec. “Obviously,” he huffed as they rounded the corner into the Islanders locker room.

“Ahh, finally. Our captain and alternate captain have graced us with their presence!”

Alec rolled his eyes at his friend. He set his bags down on the bench in front of his locker before bowing to Simon. “Excuse us, Lord Lewis. We were not aware of how inconsiderate we were to you by being—” he looked at the time on his phone “—6 minutes late.” He looked up through his eyelashes, one eyebrow raised in what others would probably think was annoyance. But he hoped Simon knew better.

“Actually,” Simon started, completely ignoring his expression, “it’s Lord Montgomery, but—Wait! You didn’t hear me say that…” He looked around at the quiet room, half the team was there, half wasn’t. Alec suspected most were on the ice already, including Magnus.

Alec squinted his eyes as he stood back up, unzipping his bag. “Is that nerdy talk? That monster thing from that game you like?”

“Hey!” Simon crossed his arms over his chest. “He is _not_ a monster. He is a Lord. A ruler. And it’s Dungeons and Dragons, one of the best games ever.”

Pulling out his paddings and under shirt, Alec glanced back at Simon. “Yeah, but how does that apply to you?  I heard—” He dropped his chin to his chest before groaning. “Why did I hear my _sister_ call you that? During Christmas?”

When he turned back again, Simon’s eyes were wide. “Should I run away now, or later?”

Alec turned fully so his front was facing Simon again. “You rollplay Dungeons and Dragons with my sister?”

Simon raised an eyebrow and bit his lip nervously. “Do you want an answer to that?”

“Fuck no,” Alec replied and turned back to his gear. He heard Jace snickering next to him and heard someone—probably Meliorn—patting Simon on the back.

Lee scurried out of the locker room with Minyard and Santiago following quickly behind. Alec sat on the bench and tied up the laces on his left skate before he felt a tap on his shoulder. He glanced back at Simon who came around the side and sat next to him.

“I said I didn’t want to know, Lewis.”

Eyes wide again, Simon held out his hands defensively. “No, no. I actually wanted to ask you about something else.” When Alec gave an approving nod, he continued. “Well, uh, Coach told us not to ask you about the articles, but I figured—hoped more— that we’re kind of close? Maybe a bit? O-Or not…” His eyes searched Alec’s for any sign of disagreement.

Alec lifted his right foot and nodded again. “Go ahead, Simon.”

He looped his laces into a bow then a knot before stuffing the excess into the lip of the shoe. “I just—You, uh, knew Magnus for a while?”

“We met 12-ish years ago.”

Simon nodded again and fumbled his gloves as he looked around the locker room. Not many were left. When he spoke again, it was low and rushed so only Alec could hear. “Are you dating Magnus? It makes much more sense in my head now that I know you’re gay. And I know this hypothetical boyfriend isn’t that hypothetical. I was going to ask Izzy, but decided against it. And I understand why you would freak out about it and—”

“Yes.” There was no hesitation in Alec’s voice. A soft smile played on his face as another weight was lifted off his shoulders. The past 5 months were making Alec feel lighter and lighter and he couldn’t wait until he reached the clouds and was no longer 6 feet under. “I am.”

“Oh, okay,” Simon said, sounding a little shocked at Alec’s bluntness. He quickly recovered and nudged Alec’s arm with his elbow. “So, you were the one that snuck out of camp with Magnus and got seriously drunk?”

Alec shrugged his practice jersey over his head and groaned, however, smile evident on his face. “Worst decision _ever_ in my youth.”

Simon grinned and patted Alec on the back. “Dude, who knew. You actually _do_ have a fun bone in your body!”

Throwing his hands over his head, Alec drew out a long, “Yes! I keep telling you all that I do.”

[][][][][]

“That damned defenseman tripped me and no fucking call! I had a breakaway! I should at least have a powerplay if not a penalty shot,” shouted Jace at the ref.

The referee shrugged and replied, “I didn’t see. Call on the ice stands,” before skating away.

“Fucking ref,” Jace mumbled from next to Alec. “That’s a bullshit call. We could have won in regulation, but no. Damned overtime now. Fucking Pens. Everyone hates them except for the officials. They could get away with murder.”

There was 3.4 seconds left in the third period and everyone in the Islanders stadium was pissed off. The crowd was chanting, “Ref, you suck!” and Alec knew if Jace didn’t have an obligation to make the Club look good, he would be chanting right there with them. Coach was leaning over his players talking—more like yelling—to one of the other referee’s. But damn, the Penguins were happy assholes right now.

The fourth line went out to the ice to kill off the rest of the time on the clock.

“First OT line, get out there,” Garroway called. Since over time lines only consisted of three players, 2 forwards—who were more likely to get the winning goal— and a defenseman in case things weren’t going their way, the first line had to break up. Jace was paired with Simon and Lee, and Alec was now on the second OT line with Magnus and Meliorn.

There were 5 minutes on the clock for OT. Jace slapped his stick down to win the faceoff. He swiftly passed the puck back to Simon, but the Penguin was hot on his tail. Simon passed it to Lee who waited by the blue line.

The Penguin intercepted it and quickly skated the puck in the opposite direction towards Santiago. He passed to an open player who was coming up the side. The crowd watched while holding their breaths as Jace rushed over, the puck connecting with the other man’s stick. Jace slammed his body into the Penguin and he toppled over, allowing Jace to scoop up the puck. Lee and Simon rushed over towards the home bench and Alec and Melion came on. A quick flick of his stick, and the black disk was on Alec’s stick. Magnus came on after Jace was off.

Now the Islanders had possession and the room was tense. A chant of, “Let’s go, Islanders!” started and it buzzed through Alec’s body like good caffeine. He sent it forward to Magnus who was dodging a Penguin and they circled their positions around while in the offensive zone. Murray, the Penguins goalie, was watching intently and Alec felt the sweat drip down his back.

Magnus passed it to Meliorn and he sent it back to Magnus to try and confuse the Pens. Magnus was able to skate forwards as a Penguin tried to approach. The puck went skating down to the other side by Alec who was ready for it.

Alec slapped his stick down and the puck went flying past the goalie, who was still trying to make it to the other side of the net, and into the net. “Yes!” he shouted as the arena erupted in cheers.

The Penguins skated off the ice as Magnus slammed his body into Alec’s for a hug. Even with all the padding, Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus’ body and squeezed. “I could kiss you!” Magnus shouted over the fans.

Alec mentally groaned because how perfect would it be to rip their helmets off for a congratulatory kiss?

As they clung to each other, Alec thought of the consequences with his parents and his agent and instead, he replied, “I love it when you puck me, Bane.” He watched as Magnus’ smile grew wider into a smirk.

“Damn right you do, Lightwood.”

Alec wiggled his eyebrows as Meliorn came over and wrapped his arms around them. “Lightwood, you son-of-a-bitch, you’re incredible!” he said.

“Don’t you forget it!” Magnus added, never taking his eyes off Alec.

Now he’s glad he didn’t rip off their helmets, because how manly would it be if he blushed on live TV?

The rest of the team skated over and joined in on the hug before they all lined up to give much needed kudos to Santiago. When Alec reached him, Raphael tapped his side with his glove and they rested their helmets together for a few seconds of congratulations.

[][][][][]

“Lightwood, Baners, you’re doing the postgame interview,” said Garroway once everyone reached the locker room.

The both groaned as their teammates allowed them to take shower dibs first. Alec was really hoping that he would be able to go home with his boyfriend for a relaxing night. He guessed that’ll have to be put off for a bit. He rolled his eyes as his stomach growled hungrily in protest.

He picked up his boxers and headed for the showers just as Magnus had done the same. With a with a quick glance, Magnus came his way, stopping next to him in front of the shower stalls.

“If only we can shower together here,” Alec said with a soft voice.

Magnus leaned into him and replied, “If you come home with me, we can. And then we can spend all day tomorrow in bed while eating junk food and delicious takeout.”

Humming, Alec smiled. “I’ll toss Jace my car keys then. See you on the other side, hot stuff.”

It was bold of him, Alec knew, but he was nearly to the point where he couldn’t give a shit if someone in the locker room heard. Jonathan Morgenstern’s’ anonymous source, or not, Alec was almost there. He could feel the energy thrum through his veins.

His shower was quick. He was back to his locker, dirty clothes in hand, only clean boxers on. A few players still had their gear on, and Alec wondered why they weren’t trying to rush into a shower after a long game.

Tossing his clothes into his gear bag and his keys at Jace’s face, Alec pulled on his suit that hung on the hanger. Once dressed, he looked around for Magnus. They would be called any moment. The interview itself shouldn’t take more than 15 minutes.

Coach was outside waiting for them when they opened the door to the hallway. “Looking good, boys,” he said with a quick glance their way.

Alec smiled softly as Magnus thanked him before adding, “Why are the both of us doing it tonight? It’s usually one.”

Coach started escorting them to the conference room halfway around the arena. Alec stood in the middle with Coach and Magnus on either side of him as they walked down the blue and orange hallway. “The reporter asked for you both.”

Grinning again, Alec padded his boyfriend on the chest happily. “That’s because Shannon loves us so much.”

Magnus let out a short laugh before Garroway stopped short with the other two following quickly behind. “No, you didn’t hear?” Confused, Alec shook his head. “Shannon moved up; got promoted. We have a new team reporter. Not sure who it is yet. It’s their first night.”

As Alec nodded slowly, they started walking again, Islanders crew buzzing around them. “Good for her!”

The conference room sounded crowded tonight as they came up to the door. A person told them to wait for her signal before going in. Alec guessed they had to make sure the cameras were set up and their new reporter was ready. It was probably some rookie kid fresh out of university.

When they got the signal, Coach entered first with Alec and Magnus following. Cameras flashed as they settled in front of the podium with the microphones already attached to it. The Islanders logo stood proudly behind them.

Alec didn’t look out to the crowd until he was settled in between his coach and boyfriend. But when he did, it felt like a smack in the face.

 _His_ face looked just like it did in that annoying picture next to each article he wrote. _His_ face stood out immediately from the crowd. Jonathan Morgenstern was the Islanders new reporter. The same reporter that had to travel with the team to each and every game whether it was home, or in western Canada.

Alec felt a brush against his leg and he knew Magnus was trying to comfort him. “It’s okay,” he breathed to Alec.

Garroway stiffened next to him. He leaned into Alec’s other side and pushed a hand towards the microphones, so they didn’t pick up what he was saying. “Just keep it together. If he asks anything not related to hockey, don’t answer. Either of you, I’ll handle it. Understand?” They both nodded even though Alec was nearly frozen. This was the guy who is trying to break down his very guarded walls in the worst way possible. Coach turned back towards the reporters and laid his hand down by his waist. He put on a bright smile. “Hope you all are well. Let’s get started,” he said to the crowd of reporters.

Jonathan stood in front of the podium with a clip board in hand and a pen in the other. “Congrats on the win,” he started, and Alec forced a smile. “I’m Jonathan Morgenstern in case you haven’t heard of me, but I hope you have,” he said with a grin. Alec made sure he didn’t make any sudden movements to show that Jon was correct. “What do you think happened tonight that you could improve on for your next game against Toronto?”

Alec’s stomach eased and took the answer, but he didn’t once look Jonathan in the eye. “There was a bunch of things. Our defense could’ve been better to help Santiago. We could’ve been more proactive instead of reactive in the first to make sure we had the first goal, but of course, that didn’t happen. So, it’s a multitude of things we need to talk about and practice.”

Nodding slightly beside him, Magnus picked up the water bottle that sat on the podium as Jonathan asked the next question. “Magnus, what made that pass Alec in OT click for you?”

With a slight shift on weight, Magnus placed his bottle back down and cleared his throat before answering. Alec didn’t really pay attention; all he heard was something about an opening and puck. His anxiety was on overload right now. All these feelings came rushing back just when he was starting to feel better about himself and his relationship. Now, the source of his anxiety was standing right in front of him and would travel with the team everywhere they went.

There was a brush against his leg again as Magnus was finishing his answer. It brought Alec back to the present and he tried to look like he was attentive the whole time. He took a sip of his water bottle and mentally shook his head to keep himself aware of what was going on.

“Alec, can you take us through your game winning goal?”

He went through the motions, not really paying attention to what he was saying. Hockey; it’s what he knows. It’s what he’s known his whole life, and if he could do it all over again, he would—but maybe this time he wouldn’t blow his friendship with Magnus away. He kept his face neutral like every other player who does an interview as he said Magnus made a good pass that led them to get the goal and win. He was too modest to take the credit himself.

A few questions were directed at Coach who answered perfectly without giving too much excited emotion. They didn’t want to rub it in that they won the series against the Penguins: the team that won the last two Stanley Cups in a row. 

“There has been some major talk about the Islanders lately. Good and bad,” Jonathan said with a flat tone. "What do you say about the gossip surrounding the team, especially you both, Alec and Magnus? Many wonder about your past and how it effects how you play the game."

Instantly, Alec's blood ran cold and his heart pumped erratically. He felt his face drop into a frown and sweat formed on his bad. He knew Jonathan was going to say something. There’s no way that he wouldn't have. If not now, then sometime before the end of the season. 

With a straightened back, Coach immediately stepped in with an authoritative voice. "If you have any questions concerning that, you should visit our Public Relations office. I think thats all the questions we have for today." He gave Alec a slight push on the arm which unintentionally forced him into Magnus' side. 

Jonathan put a wary hand up to stop them. "Our time isn't up yet."

Coach smiled regretfully, but Alec could tell he actually meant it. "I'm sorry, ours is. We have an early flight in the morning to Toronto."

That was the only signal Magnus needed, because he walked off the little stage and towards the door. 

It wasn't until they were outside with the door shut firmly behind them that Alec could breathe again. The hall was empty with just the orange and blue walls to accompany them.

Alec didn't dare say anything until they were back in the locker room where there were no cameras. He threw open the double doors and immediately turned around to his boyfriend and coach. "What the fuck was that?"

Magnus put out a hand to his right and walked over, laying a hand on Alec's forearm. "I don't know..."

Shaking his head, Alec glanced at Magnus. "How can they hire  _him_  after what he's been doing? Didn't officials come to us saying not to encourage him? So they  _hire_  him? It makes no sense."

Nodding, Coach walked next to them. "Who knows. Maybe the club thinks it's better to keep their enemies closer."

"But I don't—"

"Lightwood," Garroway growled in a low voice. "You're making a scene. Go cool off." 

Scrunching his eyebrows, Alec took a step back and looked around the room. They must not have taken as much time as Alec thought because a few of the boys were still there. 

They all stared, and Alec looked back. It made him anxious. Simon was off in the corner, eyes buzzing between the three of them, but Alec didn't meet his eyes. 

"Alec," Magnus said softly, bringing him back to the present, "let's just go, okay? Forget it tonight, we'll figure it out tomorrow." 

He sighed and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He just couldn't believe it, but he nodded anyway. "I'll get my bag," he mumbled back. The first thing he grabbed was his rainbow bracelet. He didn’t let go until he fell asleep.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! Chapter 20 is finally here! Thanks for continuing to support me!
> 
> It's a long one compared to my other chapters which is why it took a little longer for me to post, but I truly hope this ending makes you forgive me!
> 
> To Ash (and the others), I hope you see it. LOL (You'll know what I mean when you see it)

Alec’s knuckles wrapped gently on Jace’s front door.

“I hope he’s home,” Max said as he swayed his body in the hallway.

Scoffing, Alec leaned against the wall as they waited. “He’s always home. He doesn’t have a car so the only time he leaves is when I take him somewhere.”

“He makes millions of dollars each season, yet he won’t buy a car,” Izzy tisked from next to Max. She crossed her arms over her chest. “If I were either of you, I’d be shopping at Chanel and Burberry stores every day.” She flipped her dark, long hair over her shoulder and clutched her faux-Chanel purse in her hand.

Alec hummed and lifted his hand again to knock, but the locks clicked and the knob turned, opening the door. Jace looked uncharacteristically tired like hadn’t slept well the night before, which was weird because he always made sure he got enough sleep.

But he still smiled happily when he noticed who was at his door. Max pushed past Alec and swung his arms around Jace’s waist, pushing them both back slightly.

“Whoa,” the blonde chuckled and hugged back. “Max, it’s so good to see you! How are you?”

“Good,” he mumbled. “How are you? I missed you.” He pulled back and Jace stepped aside to let them in.

Leaning into hug Izzy and Alec, Jace replied, “I’ve been busy, but it’s a lot better now that you’re here.” He grinned and they followed him inside. “Don’t mind the mess.”

Chuckling, Alec gave him a gentle push on his back. “You say that as if you meant to clean up. Oh!” Alec stopped when he saw a petite girl with fiery orange hair on the couch. “Clary, hi,” he smiled. “I’m sorry, we didn’t know you were here.”

Standing now, she walked over to them. “Don’t worry. It’s good to see you.”

After a quick, almost awkward hug, Clary moved onto Izzy with a smile and, “Isabelle Lightwood, you see my best friend more than I do!” and Jace dragged Alec into the kitchen that was separate from the living space.

Immediately, Jace’s face dropped back into a frown and he huffed, stepping back from his friend, turning 180 degrees. Alec stepped forward and placed a hand on his back. “What’s wrong? We can go if you and Clary were in the middle of something.”

Jace turned back around to face him. “No! Stay please.”

Scanning is eyes over Jace’s face again, Alec brought up his hand that held a brown bag. “It looks like you definitely need these.”

Eyes wide, Jace snatched the bag into his hands. “Alec,” he drawled, “God, I love Arrow’s pastries. You bought me a bear claw, right?”

Alec cocked his head to the side as Jace unraveled the part of the bag that held it closed. “Not only did I buy you one, but I bought you five. Don’t say I’ve never done anything for you.”

Leaning down towards the bag, Jace wafted the scents towards his nose. He moaned and dug his hand inside. “You’re the best.”

“Don’t I know it,” he replied with a small smile. After Jace took a bite of the pastry, he continued. “So, tell me what’s going on. Still having trouble with Clary?”

Jace huffed and laid his bear claw on a napkin he grabbed from the dispenser. Alec was glad he had the forethought to swallow before replying. “Yeah,” he sighed. “I tried talking to her, but I choke on my words and look like an idiot. She’s really upset. She should just break up with me if she’s this unhappy so I’m not strung along.”

Eyebrows scrunching, Alec said, “Why is she so upset?”

Nervously, Jace fiddled with his pastry. “On top of Simon telling her I’m not the best with relationships, I told her that I had an open relationship once. Remember with Lacey? Then I started dating Rosa and—well, you know the story. Lacey wasn’t happy even though she agreed, bla, bla, bla. Anyway, Clary didn’t like that. But I don’t want to have an open relationship with her. I love her, Alec and I really want to make this work.”

Understanding now, Alec took a breath as Jace took another bite. “Let’s go back out there. And take the bag with you; don’t be a hog.”

Moving away from the island, Jace munched on his bear claw. “Wait, what about my problem?’

Determined, Alec replied, “We’re fixing it.”

[][][][][]

When they walked through the kitchen door, all conversation inside the Livingroom died down to nothing.

Cautiously, Alec stepped in after snatching the brown bag out of Jace’s hands. “Pastries, anyone?” he asked, breaking the silence.

Wide eyed and practically running over, Max shouted, “Yes!” When he reached his brother’s side he whispered, “It’s tense as hell in here.”

Nodding, Alec gave him the bag after taking one out and walked over to the couch where his sister and Clary sat. “Iz, can I talk to Clary for a minute?”

“Go ahead,” she replied, but didn’t move.

“Alone,” he added with a pointed look.

Clary nodded for confirmation and Isabelle stood up and went towards the kitchen where Max and Jace disappeared to. “Don’t eat them all, Max!”

Once they were gone, Alec sat down next to Clary and handed her the napkin with the bear claw on top. “I hope you like these, I wasn’t sure.”

“Thank you.” She sounded small as she took the pastry.

Alec didn’t know how to cautiously approach this, so he just came out with it. “I know this is none of my business, and you can tell me that, but can I talk to you about Jace?”

She must’ve known because she didn’t look shocked. She just nodded again and looked down at the bear claw. “What about?”

“He’s been telling me that he’s worried you’ll break up with him because of his past relationships.” He watched her fiddle with the hem of her shirt.

“I thought about it, but I really like him.” She looked all around the room, but at Alec who kept a firm eye on her reactions. “He’s never shown me any of the faults Simon warned me about, besides when he told me about some girl. I just couldn’t get it all out of my head. I don’t think I want to break up with him.”

He smiled softly. “That’s good. He doesn’t want you to. He really wants to work it out. And I’ll be the first one to say that I don’t condone what he’s done in the past, but, Clary, the amount of times he’s told me he loves you… I’ve never heard him say that about any other girl. He really wants to be with you.”

She finally looked at him, eyes wide and mouth agape. “He _what_?”

Alec pulled back a little and thought of which part of what he said could’ve been interpreted wrong. “Did I say something wrong?”

“H-He told you he _loves_ me?”

Nodding, Alec kept his eyes fixed on her socked expression. He felt a small pang of gilt for the girl. “Has he not told you himself?”

She quickly shook her head, breathing prominent. “I never thought he’d want to.”

Alec sighed roughly. Jace must really be worse at relationships then he. “My God,” Alec said. “He’s an idiot,” he mumbled, shaking his head. “Jace!” he shouted towards the kitchen. “Get your ass out here.”

Jace popped his head out of the door and Clary immediately stood up. She was biting her bottom lip. Jace decided to come out further, eyes moving cautiously between the two. “What?

Standing up too, Alec crossed his arms. “‘What?’ You’ve never told her you love her? You’ve been telling me for _months_.” He heard Clary audibly suck in air.

“Oh,” Jace replied softly before hesitantly talking a few steps towards Clary. “I wanted to so many times. I wanted it to be the perfect moment. But then things started to fall apart and it wasn’t how I wanted to do it; it wasn’t how you deserved to be told.”

“You’re an idiot,” Alec mumbled.

Eyes fixed on Clary still, Jace replied, “I know.”

After swallowing, Clary spoke for the first time since Jace entered. “You love me?” Her voice was small, and Alec felt like he shouldn’t watch an intimate moment.

“I do. I’ve never been in love before, so you’ll have to go a bit easy on me,” Jace smiled before it fell again. “That is, if you still want to be with me.”

“I do,” she said quickly and closed the gap between their bodies. “ _That’s_ what I needed to hear. Jace, I love you too, I have for a while.”

Jace smiled, and Alec knew what would come next, so he looked away. He heard the sounds of their mouths moving together and he really hoped they remembered they had guests before they ripped each other’s clothes off.

“Aww,” Alec heard someone say. He peeked towards the kitchen door and saw his Izzy’s head peeking out.  He would’ve told her off, but Jace and Clary stopped kissing which meant Alec felt okay to move again, so he couldn’t be too mad.

“ _Move_ , Iz,” Max’s faint voice said. “I need to show him.” The door opened and Max came in, pushing past Jace and Clary who still held onto each other. “Alec look what I just found.” He pushed his phone into his brother’s hand. “I was just scrolling on the NHL’s Twitter and saw this. It’s another one.”

Alec looked at the article on the screen.

_“Tension off Camera… and On!”_ _by Ariana Goldman, NewsDay_

He groaned and his hand with the phone fell to his side. “You’ve got to be kidding me. It’s not even _just_ Jonathan now.”

“What happened, man?” Jace asked.

Alec pushed the phone back into his brother’s hand. “Another article about Magnus and I. Max, what’s this one about now? I don’t want to read it. I’m tired of reading my life in an article.”

Max looked at the phone again. “It’s about last week when you guys left the postgame interview early. Apparently to her, it looks like you have something to hide.”

Scoffing, Alec crossed his arms again. “Of course, I do. Because every single thing I do, including breathing, must prove that I’m hiding something.”

He sat down on the couch and Jace came to sit next to him. Alec huffed again and tossed his feet onto the coffee table. “There’s been no gossip since Magnus came out last season, and sports writers are clinging to you because you’re associated with him.”

“But it’s none of their business. My personal life is _mine_ , not theirs to exploit.”

Jace’s hand rested on his back. “Of course, it’s not. But they think it is. And no matter what, they’ll continue to write shit, no matter how right or wrong they are. And your relationship with Magnus shouldn’t have any repercussions because of them.”

Alec shook his head. “I don’t want it to. The thing is, I don’t mind if the world knows I’m gay. I just want to do it when I’m ready. I mean, I don’t even know if Magnus wants people to know we’re together.”

His name was hissed from across the room and he looked up to his brother nodding his head towards Clary. Right, she didn’t know.

Alec just shrugged and shook his head. “I don’t care if she knows, Max.” He turned towards Clary whose eyebrows were raised. “Simon knows if you, I don’t know, want to talk to him about it. But please don’t tell anyone. I’m working on that myself.”

She nodded and when she spoke, her voice was more confident than before when they spoke. “Of course. It’s not my place to tell anyway.”

He smiled gently as a thank you and stood up, Jace’s hand dropping from his back. “Anyway, forget about the article. I won’t let it ruin me like the others have.”

“That’s the spirit!” Jace replied.

Max bit into one of the apple turnips Alec bought before speaking, mouth halfway full. “Speaking of Magnus,” he swallowed, “when are Izzy and I re-meeting him? I think it’s only fair that we get to know the man you’re dating.”

“Bro,” Jace said as he picked up Clary’s untouched bear claw, “they haven’t met him yet?”

Alec snatched the pastry out of his hand. “They _did_. Years ago.” He smiled sweetly and placed the bear claw back on the table.

His friend glared at him. “You know what I mean.”

“Okay,” he drawled. “Izzy did.”

She scoffed and crossed her arms. “That was when you _still_ weren’t talking. I couldn’t properly get into any conversation with him.”

“I’m just waiting for the perfect timing,” he shrugged.

Jace clapped his hand on Alec’s back again and picked up the bear claw again. This time, Alec didn’t fight him for it. “Take it from me, there’s no better time than the present.”

Max looked hopeful and Alec couldn’t deny him any longer. “Alright,” he gave in, “I’ll talk to Magnus about it.”

His brother threw a congratulatory fist into the air. “Finally!”

“Now that that’s fixed,” Jace started as he pushed Alec towards the door, “if you all don’t mind: get out. Please. Clary and I have some making up, pun intended, to do.”

[][][][][]

_Dress nicely. I’m picking you up in 30 minutes_ , Alec typed out before hitting send.

A reply from Magnus came almost immediately. _Alexander, are you taking me out on a date?_

_Of course, I am. It’s Valentine’s Day. Now be ready_.

[][][][][]

“My, my, Alexander. Don’t you look delicious tonight,” said Magnus the moment he opened his door.”

Feeling his cheeks burn with color, Alec scanned his eyes over his boyfriend. “Thanks,” he replied. Then, with his voice more confident, he said, “You look wonderful too. Brown and gold are definitely good colors on you.”

Magnus rolled his eyes with a smile. “You’re too sweet. Should we go?” Nodding, Alec held out his arm for Magnus to link his with. “This is our first date in public, assuming we are going somewhere public?” He looked on with hopeful eyes and Alec had to smile back.

“We are. I hope that’s okay with you. I reserved a booth in the back of a restaurant, but I thought you deserved this and not take out again.”

The grip around his arm tightened. “Are you kidding? This is our first date since we got together in October in public! We’re on a whole new level now of perfection now. As if I couldn’t love you more.”

Side eyeing his boyfriend, Alec grinned more. “Careful, I think you’ve been hanging with Simon and Jace a bit too much. You’re starting to sound like them,” he chuckled before adding a kiss to his head.

Deciding to use the regular mundane style of transportation and not something more expensive, Alec parked his car and quickly jogged over to the passenger side while Magnus pulled on his coat jacket. He swiftly opened the door and out stepped Magnus. “Such a gentleman,” Magnus smiled before pulling his coat closer to his body.”

Once they walked into Ruth’s Chris Stake House, Alec’s stomach flared at how many people were there. The woman at the front counter didn’t seem to know them and professionally asked them if they would like her to take their coats. Magnus obliged, but Alec kept his on, unsure if it was for security or not. It probably was.

She walked them to their booth which was in fact in the back like Alec had requested. Their location eased his mind and he tried to focus solely on Magnus and their date. This wasn’t about him tonight; it was about Magnus and what he deserved. Soon Alec could give him everything. Soon Alec would be free, he just needed some more time.

Magnus held the menu in hands and glanced over it, eyes wide, smile small. Alec studied him for a moment. His boyfriend was truly someone special. In all his life, Alec had never met someone so in tune with themselves. Magnus knew exactly who he was and what he wanted in life—personal and professional—and Alec admired this trait.

Eyes met his across the table. “What are you looking at?” Magnus asked. “I haven’t even eaten yet so I can’t have anything on my face.”

Alec couldn’t hold in his fond chuckle anymore. His fluttering heart flew around inside him and Alec never knew love could feel like this. So effortless and enticing. He could stare at Magnus all day and never get bored.

“I’m looking at you,” he replied, finally reaching for his menu.

Opening his menu, he flipped until he reached the meat section. “Hopefully what you see is good looking.”

Raising an eyebrow, Alec glanced over his menu at a smiling Magnus. “It always is,” he replied.

“Alexander,” Magnus said almost surprised, “you’re too good to me.” Alec would have replied, but a young woman came to their table dressed in all black.

“Hi, welcome to Ruth’s Chris. I’m Nicole and I’ll be your server today. Can I start you off with a drink?”

Grinning, Magnus grabbed the drink menu he set aside from earlier and flipped the pages. “You sure can. I’m thinking of a red wine. Maybe Merlot or Cabernet?”

Nodding the woman replied that she would probably go with the Merlot because it went well with all types of dishes. Magnus happily agreed and ordered a cup. “And for you?” she asked Alec.

“Oh, just a coke, please.”

Across from him, Magnus scoffed and cocked his head in a disappointed way. “You are not having ‘just a coke’.” He turned back to Nicole and sweetly added, “Darling, can you make that Merlot a bottle and bring out two glasses?”

She grinned and nodded enthusiastically; bottles were definitely pricier than just a glass. Alec sighed and gave in to Magnus. “Only one glass,” he said. “I have to drive us home.”

Their wine was poured in front of them and Alec took a sip once the girl left. Alarmed, Magnus looked up when he coughed. “It’s dry,” he mused with a shrug.

Once they ordered— lobster tail for Magnus and a New York Style strip for Alec—the wine went down smoother for Alec.

“Last week my brother asked about meeting you—re-meeting you, as he put it,” Alec said. He fiddled with his winter jacket that was still on under the table.

Magnus physically perked up, smile playing on his face. “Really? I would _love_ that,” Magnus admitted as he set his glass back down. “I’ve been wanting to ask you about that, but I didn’t want to push you into anything.”

“Oh,” he replied softly. Did Magnus hold back a lot from him? He hoped not. “You could’ve asked,” he decided to say instead. “I wouldn’t have minded.”

Smiling as a reply, Magnus swirled his glass around. “When are you thinking?”

Honestly, Alec hadn’t thought much about it. They had a few away games coming up in the week, so maybe it wasn’t the best time. “Maybe next week? We have a couple days off before our home games week. We could order pizza or something. Nothing too tense.”

“That would be wonderful, Alexander,” Magnus grinned before taking another sip of his wine. “I’m excited to see Isabelle again. And from pictures you’ve shown me, it looks like Max has grown a few feet since I last saw him.”

Nodding, Alec tried to think of what Max looked like 7 years ago. “He’s definitely bigger now. I think he’s halfway through puberty.”

Magnus laughed and his eyes shone. “Oh, puberty. I remember that horrible time well. I was a voice-cracking, hormone-raging young boy,” he said.

Grinning, Alec thought back to when they were younger. “Oh, I know. I was right there with you.” He peeled his jacket off his unconsciously. “We would always try to get out of our summer chores just so we could sneak back to our room.”

Magnus cackled out a laugh and quickly brought his hand to cover his mouth. “Oh, my goodness, we were so bad at that. I wonder if Coach Felstein had any idea what we got up to that summer. A little blowjob here, a little hand job there… casual boy things when it came to cabin fever—or camp fever.”

Alec’s smile faded gently and his eyes fell to his almost empty wine glass. “Yeah,” he said slowly just as Nicole walked over with their food, “It was a fun summer. Magnus—”

She placed their plates in front of them with a bright smile and refilled their glasses before asking if they needed anything else and walking off. Alec bit the inside of his cheek.

“Don’t,” said Magnus.

Alec glanced up as he picked up his fork. “What? You didn’t know what I was going to say.”

His boyfriend reached his hand over the table to grab his. “I know that face. It’s your guilty, sorry one. But you don’t need to feel like that because of what happened when we were kids, Alec. I know that’s what you were thinking and I’m over it, okay? You’re allowed to think of the good times we had without the bad one’s pushing their way in.”

“But the way I treated you, I still don’t understand why I did it.” He set down his fork, eyes on his steaming food.

“But I do,” replied Magnus. “Realizing your sexuality is a scary thing, believe me, I went through it too. And you worried about your family. I did too. It’s normal.”

Sighing, Alec rubbed his thumb over Magnus’ skin. “Yeah, but it shouldn’t be. Did—“Alec finally looked up, “if you don’t mind me asking—Did you tell your mom? Before she died?”

Nodding, Magnus smiled gently. “She was really good about it. She told me she just wanted me to be happy, and whoever I chose, if I loved them, she would be happy for me. But we both agreed that I shouldn’t tell my stepfather. I haven’t spoken to him in years, so I don’t know what he thinks of me now.”

“I’m glad you told her. Do you think she’d be happy that you’re with me now?”

Chuckling lightly, Magnus’ grip tightened on his hand and he glanced up towards the ceiling for a second. “She loved you all those years ago, she would fucking _love_ that we’re together now.”

Alec finally cracked a smile. “Good. My brother and sister love you too, I think. Though Max said he wants to give you The Talk.”

Magnus’ eyes went wide, but Alec could still see the smile playing on his lips. “I won’t lie, I’ve never actually had The Talk before, so this should be interesting.”

“Oh, he’ll make it interesting, I’m sure. I’m just sorry in advance.”

Smiling fondly, Magnus glanced over beside them before turning back to Alec, pulling his hand away to pick up his silverware. “I’m sure. Now eat; Nicole is staring at us and if we spend another minute talking, I’m almost positive she’ll come over.”

[][][][][]

Main course finished and dessert halfway in their stomachs, Nicole brought over their check.

And, of course, when Alec reached for it, Magnus did also.

“What are you doing?” Alec asked questioningly.

His boyfriend tried to wiggle his hand further onto the check book. “I’m going to pay. What’s it look like I’m doing?” he asked lightly.

Alec kept his hand firmly on the book and reached with his other hand into his pocket in search of his wallet. “It looks like you’re going to put your hand back because _I’m_ paying.”

Narrowing his eyes in challenge, Magnus put down his dessert spoon. “You made reservations, so I’m paying.”

“Exactly, _I_ made the reservations, so _I’m_ paying.” Alec grasped the checkbook and slid it over to his side. He opened it, looked at the amount—$179.51— and pulled out his credit card, sliding it into the little slot.

Sighing, Magnus picked up his spoon again. “And you continue to spoil me.”

Scoffing, Alec picked up his spook and cut into their shared brownie and vanilla ice cream. “Name a moment when I’ve ever spoiled you.”

“Every second I get to look at you and call you my boyfriend.”

Alec felt his cheeks flare before he took a bite and pointed his spook in Magnus’ direction. “That definitely does _not_ count.”

“Oh, no,” Magnus confirmed as he swirled his spoon in the melted ice cream. “I’ve checked with the Spoiling God’s. It definitely counts.”

Heart fluttering and smile present, Alec banged his spoon with Magnus’. “I’m saying this with love, I promise. But that might’ve just been the craziest thing you’ve said to me and you’ve said a lot of crazy things, including that one time you dared me to play a game without a protective cup.”

Magnus languidly waved a hand around. “No dicks were harmed that day, I can attest to that. Yours is still _very_ nice.” His eyes bore into Alec’s and Alec didn’t know whether he should laugh or be turned on. He went for the former.

“Yeah, you tell me that a—What the fu—” Small somethings were suddenly hitting him on the head and shoulders. He brought his hands up to shoo them away.

“Katie! You hit him!”

The woman—Katie—immediately stood up and hastily reached their table. “Sir, I am _so_ sorry. They were supposed to hit my husband. I must’ve overthrown. I’m so embarrassed.”

“You were our college’s softball pitcher. You can’t throw short distances, honey.” Katie’s husband was standing now and stood next to her.

Alec smiled and shook his hands. “Don’t worry, really. It’s okay.” He reached out to the flying objects, but stopped mid movement. Katie had accidentally thrown packets of condoms at him. “Oh,” he said stunned.

From the other side of the table, Magnus was trying to hold in his laughter. Little spirts of giggles were making their way out of his mouth, and any other moment, Alec would have admired him. “You act like you’ve never seen one before, babe,” Magnus said through his laughs.

Babe. That’s a new one from Magnus.

“No, I—” Alec reached out to collect the handful of condoms littered on the table and the seat, “—I just wasn’t expecting it. It’s okay.” He felt his cheeks flushed as he handed the packets over to the man.

“Again, I am _so_ sorry,” Katie tried again.

Her husband held up a single condom. “Want one for your troubles?” he asked.

Alec had to look down shyly, but Magnus held up his hand and took it. “One never has too many condoms.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” the man chuckled. “Sorry again,” he said as they went back to their table.

His head whipped up to Magnus. The couple was right behind him, so he didn’t feel comfortable speaking, but he mouthed, “Oh, my God!” with wide eyes.

Magnus just smirked and flicked the foil packet at him.

[][][][][]

They didn’t have a long drive back home, but there was Valentine’s Day traffic. It was mostly annoying because Alec had more plans for his boyfriend in the bedroom, but they were kind of on a time limit. They had to be at the arena early in the morning for their second game against Nashville. He hoped Jace was getting used to that Uber app.

“Thank you for tonight,” Magnus said from the passenger seat as he pushed the radio button on. The pop music played quietly in the background. “I loved being out with you. Hopefully we can do more of that?” It was formed as a question because it was truly all up to Alec and if he was comfortable with it, which Magnus understood. Alec really did have the best boyfriend.

He smiled and reached his hand over to grab Magnus’. “I would love that. I had a great time too.”

“Not to push,” started Magnus hesitantly, “but have you thought about how you want to come out? I know you’ve spoken about wanting to, but…”

“I’ve thought about it a bit,” Alec admitted. “I thought I’d be simple and have my sister go on that Twitter she made me and post a picture of you and me. Something cute and obviously couply, but not over the top. Maybe some gay-ish hashtag. I should probably talk to Lydia about it all.” He smiled softly at the thought. He wouldn’t have to worry about anyone finding out after that.

He drove onto Magnus’ street. “That actually sounds perfect.” Alec could hear the smile in his voice. “Simple, but effective, just like you. So much easier than the hassle I went through. My agent thought since I was the first one, I had to go through all the proper channels. But for you, I say fuck it! I love that you want me involved in your coming out.”

Alec glanced his way for a second. “Of course, I do. You’re my boyfriend whom I am very much in love with. Despite everything, I want the world to know that.” He turned into the parking lot next to Magnus’ building. He figured it was a bit earlier than other couples may get home, so it was easy to find a spot near the door.”

“Either way, thank you. Oh! _Alexander_.”

Alarmed, Alec looked at him once the car was in park. But Magnus had a smile on his face and he turned up the volume on the radio.

“Don’t turn the car off,” he shouted over the radio. “Come dance with me. I _love_ this song.” Magnus opened the car door and walked along the sidewalk until he reached the driver’s side door. He opened it and the cold hit Alec’s face.

He would tell Magnus that, but the brightness of his smile when he pulled Alec out of the car was too precious. “I don’t even know this song,” he said instead. “And I don’t dance.”

Magnus gasped. “Alexander, it’s Ed Sheeran. His song Perfect. It’s quite magical, if I do say so myself. Just listen and sway.”

Alec let his ears tune to the music that flowed out of his car door and Magnus rested his head on his chest, arms wrapped around each other’s waists. There was a single light from the building that shone on them like a light on a dancefloor. The sidewalk was hard under his feet, but it was the best dancefloor he’s ever been on just because Magnus was there with him.

_“Oh, I never knew you were this someone waiting for me_

_‘Cause we were just kids when we fell in love_

_Not knowing what it was_

_I will not give you up this time…_

_Baby, I’m dancing in the dark_

_With you between my arms”_

Alec thought the lyrics were undoubtedly fitting. Magnus pulled him closer against his body and Alec brought his hand to Magnus’ head. He threaded his fingers through the black hair and rested his chin against the top of his head, inhaling the cold air.

He didn’t know how swaying could be this comforting. He’s never danced a second in his life, but this was better than a lot he’s endured in life. Magnus was a sense of _home_ and anywhere he went, Alec would follow.

“ _We are still kids but we’re so in love_

_Fighting against all odds_

_I know we’ll be alright this time._

_Darling, just hold my hand_

_Be my girl, I’ll be your man._

_I see my future in your eyes.”_


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! It's not Friday... Actually, it's Christmas! So Merry Christmas to anyone who celebrates and Happy Holiday's to all! 
> 
> Thank you for being patient with me and my updates! Last week I was going crazy studying and had absolutely no time to write. And I'm late this week because this is the longest chapter yet, and I just wanted it to be good for you guys <3
> 
> Thanks to my boo Kenny for helping with ideas <3

“Alec, are you sure?”

He huffed, not looking back at his sister, and continued straightening the fancy placemats his mother got him for Christmas. “Yes, Iz. You look great. It’s not like you can run home anyway; Magnus will be here any second.”

He heard her heel stomp onto his tile flooring. “You didn’t even look at me.”

Turning slowly, he smiled gently to see her crossed arms. “That’s because I don’t have to look at you to know you look wonderful, Izzy.”

Her face immediately softened and her arms dropped, swinging around her body. Groaning, she gave him a little shove. “I hate how I can never stay mad at you for long.”

He just flashed her a toothy smile and fixed the next placemat. “It’s because I’m kind of awesome.”

“You mean, you’re kind of lame,” Max said walking into the kitchen with his cup of soda. “Where’s this boyfriend of yours? He’s not ditching, is he?”

Finally done, Alec turned to sit on one of the countertop stools. “Don’t hate on greatness, Max,” he grinned. “And Magnus is on his way, promise. As is the pizza.”

“Good I’ll—” He was interrupted by a knocking on the door and Max’s eyes lit up. “—Get it!” He ran to the door before the words were out of his mouth.

Alec swatted a hand out to try and catch him, but missed him by a few inches. “Hey, wait up.”

By the time he reached the front door, it was already halfway open. On the other side was Magnus smiling lightly. “Hello,” he said.

“Magnus!” Max swung the door wide open and looked his elder over with his eyes before grinning again. “Not a bad pick, Alec.”

Eyes wide, Alec shoved him. “ _Max._ ”

His brother ignored him and looped his arm with Magnus’ who went along with the youngest Lightwood, amused. “Nice to see you again, Max. You were tiny last time I saw you.”

Max shrugged. “You were smaller too.”  Alec shook his head and shut the door, following them into the main living space.

Magnus and Max’s arm chain was broken by Izzy who pushed her way into Magnus’ space. Alec instantly felt sorry for him and embarrassed by his siblings. But he guessed that was their main job tonight. “Isabelle,” Magnus grinned, “It’s so good to see you again and finally be able to talk properly,” he said with a side eye at Alec who shrugged in return. The last time Izzy and Magnus saw each other was at one of Jace’s parties before Alec and Magnus made up.

Laughing lightly, Izzy returned his hug. “Definitely. Be prepared for questions about your winged eyeliner technique before the night is up.”

He chuckled and nodded and Alec finally had a chance to fight his way in between his siblings. “Hi,” Alec said lightly, grin on his face.

“Good evening, Alexander.” Magnus leaned in, wrapped his arms around Alec’s waist and pecked his lips lightly with his own. Butterflies escaped from their cages and Alec felt his cheeks redden. They’ve never actually kissed in front of anyone so this was new, but very welcomed. “How are you?”

Alec sighed in his arms. “Good. Happy that you’re here.”

“Me too.” Alec could see the light in his boyfriend’s eyes. While this meeting probably should’ve happened a while ago, this was a big step for Alec and Magnus’ relationship. Attachment to family members could make or break a relationship.

“I would say get a room, but you’d miss all the pizza. Wait—” Max crinkled his eyebrows at himself. “But I want all the pizza to myself…”

Alec rolled his eyes and turned in Magnus’ grip that loosened. “Please, as if you could eat more than two slices.”

In a challenge, his brother squinted his eyes. “You watch, I’ll eat half a pie.” All Alec could do was bark out a laugh.

“Speaking of,” Magnus started, “did you already order? Because I’m starving.”

Nodding, Alec pulled out of his grip and went towards the kitchen. “Yup. Paid over the phone too. One cheese, and one with meatballs.” He shrugged as he backed his way into the fridge. “These two are Plain Jane’s.”

“Fine with me. I’m not into anything crazy… on my pizza anyway,” Magnus replied with a wink.

Grateful that he could mask his blush, Alec turned around and pulled the refrigerator door open. “What do you want to drink?”

Alec knew his boyfriend. When he glanced over his shoulder, he could see the little glint in Magnus’ eye. ‘ _You_ ,’ he probably would’ve said in any other circumstance. Instead, he asked for Gatorade. “Also, I’ll pay for the tip. And before you say anything, Alexander, be prepared for a battle because I’m ready to win.”

Holding his hands up in defense, Alec brought a cup with Cool Blue Gatorade—Magnus’ favorite— over. “It’s all yours then.”

Magnus whipped his body around after being tapped on the back. Watching intently, Alec sat down at the table as Magnus’ eyes came in contact with Max’s. “Magnus, after we eat, I need to have a serious talk with you.”

As if sobering up, Magnus played his part perfectly. “Ahh, yes. I had a feeling you might.”

“Don’t scare him away, Maxie,” Izzy said from over her phone. “I like this one.”

Max tossed a languid hand around in the air just as a knock on the door echoed around the main space.

Jumping up from where he just sat down, Alec jogged to the front door as Izzy laughed at something Magnus said. He knew they would get along, but there was always that inkling of a nerve. He pulled the door open and the pizza guy was pulling out their two, large pizzas from the insulated bag. The delicious scents instantly assaulted Alec’s nose and he groaned happily.

The kid looked up from the box’s and his eyes went wide. “Oh my god! You _are_ Alec Lightwood. I saw the name on the delivery box, but I wasn’t sure.”

Chuckling, Alec knew there was always a chance he would get noticed. He wasn’t the captain of the Islanders, but next to Jace, he was one of the best players—and the most known— on the team. “Hey,” he grinned, taking the two boxes from the boy. “Nice to meet you. This smells heavenly.” The boy nodded back, eyes still wide and Alec felt around in his pockets for a tip.

“Alec,” his boyfriends voice rang in his ear, “here. Don’t jip me out of paying for _something_.” Alec scoffed and pushed the boxes into his hand, taking the money in return.

“Oh my—Bane!” The boy raised on his toes as he tried to look behind the two hockey players. “Is there anymore of you in there?”

Laughing lightly, Alec shook his head and handed the boy $8 tip. “Nah, just us—And my siblings,” he added quickly. “Do you want a picture before you go?”

The boy looked up at him, surprised that it was even an option. “Are you sure? I would _love_ that.”

Magnus chimed in after he pushed the pizza onto the small entrance table by the front door. “Definitely, good idea.” Alec saw his sister snooping around and he asked her to take their picture on the boy’s phone.

Alec went to his right and leaned in slightly, giving a thumbs up and smiling as Izzy took a couple snaps.

The second the boy took his phone back, his eyes went wide, glowing with happiness. “Wow… My dad’s gonna _flip his shit_ ,” he laughed. “Thank you so much!”

Grabbing the pizza again from the side table, Magnus winked at him. “No problem, James,” he grinned. Alec smiled and rolled his eyes. Ever the charmer, his boyfriend.

James looked up from his phone, eyes wide. “How did you—”

“You’re shirt, James.” His eyes glanced down at the white name displayed on the red shirt.

James looked away, laughing shyly. “Right… I’ll leave you to it then,” he said looking between them. “Thank you again.”

Once the pizza was plated and they were all sat around the table, Magnus immediately started back up with his stories.

“You know, your brother was kind of an asshole back at camp,” Magnus joked, glancing between Izzy and Max.

Alec rolled his eyes and set his cup back down. “Oh, _please_. Don’t act like _you_ were any better.”

Gasping, Max’s eyes lit up. “Magnus, you have to tell me! At home, he’s only been Mr. Rule Follower.”

Nodding, Magnus took a bite of his unfolded pizza. After chewing and pondering his answer, he said, “I could tell you about that time he borrowed Andrew Stinkski’s skateboard.” He chuckled as Alec groaned.

“Don’t do that to me,” Alec mumbled next to him.

“Too late!” Magnus shouted. Alec groaned again and picked up his folded pizza as his siblings grinned. “Alright, think of 14-year-old, confident-as-fuck, excuse my French, Alec Lightwood. It was a Sunday because we had no practice that day. We were good friends with Andrew and this other kid Will. Drew brought his skateboard to camp and Alexander here,” Magnus grinned at him, setting a hand on his arm, “told us he’d never skated on one, but wanted to. He practically grabbed the board out of Drew’s hand and said, ‘how much different than skating on ice can it be?’ And—”

“No, no, no,” Alec butted in, swallowing what he had in his mouth. “Drew gave it to me. Don’t make me out into an asshole, Mags.”

Max swatted his hand in front of his brother’s face. “Shh, Alec, I want to hear this.”

Smirking, Magnus chuckled and took a sip of his soda. “I can’t deny your brother, babe. How rude, that would be.” Turning back to the other two Lightwood’s after Alec groaned again, Magnus continued. “So, he took Drews board and set it down on the pavement. It was a nicer day so he was only wearing a tee-shirt and shorts. He stepped onto it and started skating. For the first few pushes, he wasn’t bad, but when it came to the curve, he _definitely_ had trouble,” he grinned. “He flailed his arms and immediately jumped off the board like a scared kitten sprayed with water. But that wasn’t the best part.”

“Worst part, you mean,” mumbled Alec.

Eyes crinkling, Magnus replied, “No, I definitely mean best part.” He glanced at his boyfriend who munched on his pizza with a scowl. He blew a kiss and Alec grumpily caught it. Alec’s stomach tossed happily when Magnus grinned again. “Alexander jogged after the rollaway board and held a confident hand out to us to stop us from walking. We, his concerned friends, came over to make sure he was alright, but he was already getting back on the skateboard—after the curve, of course.

“Alec stepped on and buzzed by our fellow campers. That time, he looked better. He kind of turned slightly to give us a thumbs up when, all of a sudden, he was going lower and lower.” Alec rolled his eyes as his boyfriend used his hand to imitate his actions. “You see, the stairs were in front of him and he didn’t see it. There were only about 5 steps there, but it was kind of amazing because he somehow made it down the stairs. Until things fell apart,” Magnus grinned.

“Why are you so excited about this? My pain makes you excited,” Alec groaned. He wasn’t mad, everyone would know if he were. He was embarrassed more than anything. But he couldn’t be completely disappointed because if whatever Magnus did put a smile on his sibling’s faces—like there were right now—than all his discomfort would be worth it.

Shrugging, Magnus took another bite of his pizza. “‘Cause you’re cute.” He smiled as if that was an explanation. Izzy glanced between them, smile on her face. “Anyways, he got to the last step and then all we saw was him flying through the air,” Magnus chuckled. “It wasn’t funny at the time when we rushed over to make sure he was okay, but he had rolled and was safely cushioned on the grass. When he popped up, he shoved Drew’s bored into his chest and limped for the rest of the night with a scowl—much like the one on his face right now!”

“Oh my god, Alec,” Izzy laughed from behind her hand.

Alec rolled his eyes and glared at his boyfriend before perking back up. “Alright, alright. And you? You weren’t a saint, _babe_.”

His eyes were dark and determined as he looked at Alec. In a silly, faux serious voice, Magnus leaned in and said, “But I was your saint, _babe_.”

 _God_ , Magnus was going to kill him.

[][][][][]

“One-on-one. I verse Magnus, and Izzy plays Alec. Winners play each other.”

Izzy threw her hands up. “Why do I have to play a _professional_ player, Max? I should be playing against _you_.”

Max handed Magnus a controller and kept the other for himself. “But that’s the _fun_ part.”

Scoffing, Alec fell onto the couch. “I don’t know what either of you are huffing about. Playing NHL 17 is _nothing_ like real hockey.”

“Alexander,” Magnus chided, “don’t you just _love_ when you’re skating on the ice and you have to manually press R2 to pass the puck? Or X to stick lift?”

Rolling his eyes as Max turned on the PlayStation4, Alec had to smile. “Yes, I love the similarities, Magnus.” With a louder voice, he turned to his siblings. “I call that Magnus and I are the Islanders.”

“Fine,” Max huffed as he set up the game. He, out of spite, picked to play as the Rangers.

“Max, I don’t want to play as the Rangers,” Izzy groaned. “Pick an actual good team like the Penguins.”

Magnus whipped his head towards her. “What! No. Don’t play as them. They’re asses and I don’t like them.”

She smiled at him. “For you, Magnus. I won’t be them.”

“Ready, Magnus? It’s starting!”

They watched as the ref dropped the puck. Honestly, Alec thought Max had a fair chance of winning. He played a lot with Alec—they started a season together—and he wasn’t sure if Magnus was a PlayStation kind of man.

But his opinion shifted indefinitely when Magnus scored two goals in the first 10 minutes of the game. On a game where each 20-minute periods were only 5 minutes, that was hard to do. Max’s mouth dropped open once Lundqvist, his goalie, missed the second save and the puck dumped into the back of the net. “No! What the hell. I thought I had this game in the bag.”

Magnus shrugged, satisfied with his performance. Alec nudged him with his shoulder as the players set up for the next puck drop in the center of the ice. “Damn, where’d you learn how to play and why haven’t we played together yet?”

Smirking slightly as he won the faceoff against Max, Magnus swerved around the ice and did a fancy spin-o-rama on the ice before passing it to Game Lee to score again. Max yelled again as Magnus chuckled. “When I was with the Ducks, playing NHL 16 was me and a few teammates favorite past time. The beauty of the game is the controls don’t change."

Shaking his head in surprised disbelief, Alec felt instantly proud of his boyfriend yet again. It happens a lot—probably much too often—but the feeling never got old. “Wow, I love you.”

“I know,” Magnus replied as he clicked around on the controller.

Cocking his head to the side, Alec studied him. “You’ve been watching Star Wars with Simon, haven’t you?”

Magnus shrugged as he pressed a few buttons. “Maybe.”

From the other couch, Isabelle groaned. “First of all, you two are adorable and I’m disgustedly happy that Alec has you, Magnus. Second, Simon is literally obsessed with Star Wars. He has R2-D2’s beeping sounds as his ringtone. His _ringtone_.”

“I heard it at Christmas. They’re great movies, though. Can you blame him?”

Izzy rolled her eyes. “Wait until you see his collection room, Max. I mean, not only did he spend thousands on lightsabers, but he has games and these rare collectables. I mean, he’s a true… Star Wars fan.” Confused, she turned towards her older brother. “Do they have a cool name like the Trekkie’s do?”

“Nope.”

“Lame.”

“ _No!_ Are you _kidding_ me!” Max shouted. “What the fu-dge,” he groaned. “Magnus, that’s literally 5 goals against me in the first _and_ second. I only have 1.”

Chuckling, Magnus won the faceoff. “You need to get aggressive. Hit me a bit. Poke check me and steal the puck.”

“I’m _trying_.”

Eventually, Max was put out of his misery and the game ended, 7-3 in Magnus’ favor. He wasn’t so much a sore loser. Alec could tell he secretly wanted to see Magnus and himself battle for the win. Secretly, Alec wanted that too.

The second the puck dropped in the first during his game against Isabelle, Max stood up and dashed in front of the TV, trying not to get in their way. Alec wanted to watch him as he came closer to himself and Magnus, but he kept his eyes focused on the game. When Magnus got up to follow Max into the kitchen, he hoped Max wouldn’t be too hard on him.

After he scored his first goal against Gibson, Izzy’s goalie from the Ducks, he finally had a chance to look at his brother talking sternly to Magnus who was nodding in agreement. Magnus’ face held a small smile, so it couldn’t be all bad.

When his boyfriend finally sat down next to him again, Alec couldn’t help but glance slightly to his right where he sat. He leaned back as he rushed after Izzy’s player and hit him right into the boards. “You good?” he whispered.

“Very good,” Magnus replied as he continued to watch the game. “He was quite the gentleman. He clearly loves you a lot, and I’m extremely happy I’ve been accepted,” he whispered back. “Good team, Izzy!”

“I hoped you’d like them,” she replied before sticking her tongue back out in her efforts to concentrate.

Turns out, Isabelle needed a _lot_ more practice on the PlayStation. Alec was able to shut her down without any goals on her part.

Max sang a dramatic three chord song before handing Izzy’s remote to Alec who passed it to Magnus. “And the _real_ game begins. How are you going to do the teams? You both can’t be the Islanders.”

Alec raised an eyebrow. “Can’t we, though?” He looked at Magnus. “You be home team jerseys, I’ll be away?”

Throwing his head back, Magnus laughed. “Creative! It’s a deal. Be prepared to lose, darling.”

“If I lose, will you kiss away my pain?”

Catching a smile on Magnus’ face made Alec soar. “That sounds more like a prize. One that I will want when I win.”

Shrugging, Alec thought about that. “Sounds like a win either way.”

The game was set up and the initial puck was dropped, two Jace Herondale’s taking the faceoff. Now, this was a real battle that challenged Alec. The quick back and forth brought a dangerous smile to his face. Alec switched players and hit Game Melion on Magnus’ team to steal the puck back and rush it down towards Magnus’ goalie. No matter how many chances he got, Alec just could not score. But it was a two-way street because after a long and hard first period, the score was still 0-0.

“You, my dear Alexander, are a wonderful opponent. I really like being able to play like this again against someone.”

Max crossed his arms over his chest. “Hey!”

“No offense, Max,” Magnus added.

Ignoring his brother, Alec smiled. “It’s nice to play you too, Mags. We’re definitely going to be having more battles like this.”

The second came to a close with the score still 0-0. Max was excitedly rocking in the seat next to Alec. With only 5 minutes of real-time play, whoever scored the first goal would probably win.

Magnus gasped next to him and Alec wanted to look over to make sure he was okay, but he was answered when Magnus spoke. “Hey, babe, look! I’m playing as you!”

Alec felt a toothy grin fall onto his face. He changed his player before replying, “And now I’m you.”

“What! How? I wasn’t traded yet when they made this game.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe I didn’t see I was playing this whole time,” he chuckled.

Shrugging, Alec kept his focus on the game. “I manually programed a trade: Josten for you, just like in real life.”

“Yeah,” Max added, focusing on the TV. “You did that when Jace told you about the trade last year.”

Alec changed players and ran after Magnus’ player, crunching him, trying to grab the puck. “You added me before we… made up?” Magnus sounded surprised.

Nodding, Alec made a rush down to Magnus’ goalie and tried to fake a shot, but Magnus’ Santiago caught it in his glove, stopping the play. “I liked seeing our names together again.”

There were five minutes left in the final period which equated to roughly a minute in real time. Just before the puck dropped for the new faceoff, Alec felt his boyfriend lean into his side. Alec looked down at the dark hair resting on his shoulder. Smiling, he kissed Magnus’ head which resulted in two things: a soft hum from his boyfriend and Alec losing the faceoff, allowing Magnus to rush down to his goalie.

Alec was distracted which wasn’t fair, because he was unprepared to defend his Santiago. Magnus was able to easily score the first goal of the game, leaving only 30 seconds on the virtual clock for Alec to try and tie it up. Max howled as the buzzer sounded and the Islander’s goal song played in the back ground. “Damnit,” he mumbled to his boyfriend. “You play dirty.”

Picking his head off Alec’s shoulder, Magnus shrugged. “All I did was lay my head down. You did all the rest. Don’t worry though, you’ll still get your losers kiss, babe,” he said, adding a wink that Alec caught out of the corner of his eye.

“ _Alec_! I can’t believe you let him win!” Max shouted as soon as the final buzzer sounded, game 1-0 in Magnus’ favor.  

After tossing the controller onto the coffee table, Alec sat back into the couch, arms crossing behind his head. “I didn’t _let_ him win. Though, if I could, I would call a two-minute penalty on him for distractions off ice,” he chuckled, head turning slightly to gauge his boyfriend’s reaction.

Magnus looked back, eyes raised, small smirk present. “I suppose I deserve my prize now, huh?” he said with a slight nudge of his shoulder onto Alec’s.

Sighing, acting irritated because of his loss, Alec puckered his lips, completely ready for Magnus’ mouth to be on his again. Grinning, Magnus leaned in softly and pressed their lips together, holding it for a few seconds before pulling away. Alec’s closed eyes lingered for a second longer than normal, and when they fluttered open, Magnus’ eyes were studying his face. He looked completely enamored that it threw Alec off balance a little. Has Magnus always looked at him like this?

Isabelle’s soft voice broke their silence. “Come on, Max. I think it’s time we leave.”

Alec would be lying if he said he didn’t want them to leave in that moment. After they said their goodbye’s, Alec was shown just how much Magnus loved him.

[][][][][]

“Would you just sit?”

“You’re sure?”

Alec rolled his eyes and glared up at his boyfriend. “ _Yes_. Now don’t make me say it again.”

Eyes going wide, Magnus took a seat on the team bus next to him. “Al _right_. I was just making sure you didn’t want to sit with Jace.”

Looking at Magnus, eyebrows raised in question, Alec replied, “I _don’t_. I want to sit next to _you_. The only time I wouldn’t want to sit with you is when I’m mad at you, and I’m definitely not mad at you right now.”

Magnus cocked his head to the side. “Right now?” He pulled on the lapels of his suit before smoothing out his wrinkles. “I’m _very_ glad you’re not mad at me _right now_.”

Rolling his eyes again, Alec grinned happily and pushed his back onto the window seat. “Oh, stop. You know what I mean.”

“You’re so fucking adorable when you blush. It’s just too easy to make happen.”

Alec’s mouth dropped open and he could feel his blush grow stronger. “I don’t like you anymore,” he mumbled. “I think it would be best if you went to sit with Santiago.”

Fake gasping, Magnus raised his eyebrows and brought a dramatic hand to his heart. “Why do you subject me to such a boring bus ride, Alexander?”

“It’s out of love,” Alec drawled as their bus began to fill with their teammates. At this point, nearly 2 months after everyone found out they were old teammates and friends, it’s no longer a taboo too see them sit together and talk. It’s calming to Alec that their friends don’t pay much attention to them anymore.

“If you had sat with anyone else, I would’ve felt betrayed,” Jace said as he threw himself into the seat in front of them, Simon following behind. He sat up on his knees and leaned over the seat. “But I _guess_ he’s alright,” he said dramatically.

“Wow, Jace,” Alec replied with a straight face, looking up through his eyelashes, “I’m _so_ glad that you approve.”

The blonde shrugged, smile playing on his lips. “You got it, bro.”

He turned around and plopped into his seat, Simon, however, stayed leaning over the edge of his seat. Alec looked up at him, eyebrow raised. He shrugged and turned around, sitting next to Jace.

“I wonder if Jace realizes that _I_ was your best friend first,” Magnus chuckled. “Technically, I should be the jealous one.”

Alec leaned back into his seat as more players passed them and Coach stood at the front of the bus. “But you have no reason to be,” he whispered back, “because I only want _your_ cock, not his.”

Surprised, Magnus straightened his back and glanced at his boyfriend with a little smirk. “Bold, Alexander.”

After giving Magnus a wink, Alec stood a little, glancing around the bus. The Islanders always had two busses for the players and immediate staff and coaches. It was the easiest way to travel from the hotel to arena, arena to airport. But Alec has been especially conscious about who’s been on his bus lately. Since Jonathan joined their staff team and is considered “immediate personnel,” Alec’s been watching to make sure Coach has been keeping good on his word. He promised Alec that he’d do his best to make sure he, Magnus and Jonathan were always on different busses. So far, his promise has been good.

Also, now that Jonathan has immediate access to all thing Islanders. Alec had been trying to keep a distanced eye on him and his articles.

Which is why when his phone dinged with a new notification after sitting back down, his heart pumped quickly.

He shoved his phone at his boyfriend when he saw Jonathan’s name next to NewsDay sprawled across the top of the notification. “Open it,” he grunted.

“Alexander…” Magnus replied when he took the phone, Alec’s eyes on Jace’s seat in front of him. “We talked about this. You shouldn’t care about this asshole.”

“ _Please_ , Magnus. Open it.”

With a sigh, Magnus pressed his thumb against the button—yes, his thumbprint was programed into Alec’s phone! Alec had nothing to hide from his boyfriend (other than amazon gifts, duh.). “Do you want to read it?”

Alec shrugged and took a deep breath. “Is it about us?”

“Aren’t they almost always about us?”

Finally, Alec turned his head back towards Magnus. He held his hand out for his phone, and Magnus gently placed it in his palm. Biting the inside of his cheek, Alec brought his phone closer to his face to read the article.

“ _Meet the Family— Erm, Re-Meet the family!” By Jonathan Morgenstern, Newsday_

Alec rolled his eyes at the tacky title. He knew exactly what this article was about. He scrolled down.

_Just as every other New Yorker loves pizza, Alec Lightwood, and the recently new New Yorker, Magnus Bane, are no exception! The two had bought a couple pizza’s from Maggianos, located in Little Italy, on Saturday night during their two-day break. Alec’s siblings seemed to be there to join them._

_James Carstairs, a delivery boy at Maggianos and a big Islanders fan, had the pleasure to deliverer their pizza and get a picture. In a tweet including the image (Image below: Lightwood on the left, Bane on the right), James said, “Just delivered pizza to Alec Lightwood and Magnus Bane from the #NewYorkIslanders! Lightwood’s sister took our pic! 20-year-olds dreams do come true! #YesYesYes”_

_We know Lightwood and Bane are childhood friends and seem to have gotten very close in the last few months. But just how close_ are _they? Enough to re-meet the family, it seems! Let us know what you think about their bromance—or something more?— down below._

Alec’s mind stayed blank for a second as he tried to process all this, until it exploded with questions. “Did you _read_ this? ‘Or something _more_ ,’ he said.”

“Only skimmed the first paragraph,” replied Magnus as he leaned in, looking over Alec’s shoulder. “Or something more? What does that mean?”

He shoved his phone at his boyfriend again, tension burning within him. “My brother reads this. He knows about us, but if _he_ reads this, my _parents_ probably do. And it’s the first time Jon’s referred to us as ‘something more’. I need to be the one that tells them. They can’t learn about us from a fucking article.”

Magnus brought a hand up to his shoulder. His actions were limited since they were (technically) in public. “Then just tell them. Rip the band aid off and do it.”

“I _will_ ,” he stressed. “I will, I just need to find out how and when and—” He sighed and looked at Magnus, eyebrows furrowed in anxiety and sadness. “I promise I will tell them about us. Soon because I can’t stand them not knowing. But I never thought I would say _anything_ to them about me being gay, so I just need some time.”

“I know,” Magnus said softly, hand still rubbing his shoulder. “I just don’t want you being outted by this guy.”

Alec nodded, but his anxiety didn’t cool down. Instead, he reached down towards his clothing bag; his gear bag, along with the rest of the teams, was below the bus. He had this one with him for special cases. He unzipped it and dug around in a little pocket, but found it was empty. His eyes drew closer in confusion. Alec pulled his backpack onto his lap and unzipped it fully open and dug his hand around.

“No.” It wasn’t _there_. Where the hell was it? “No, no, no, no, no.”

“Alec,” Magnus hissed, “What’s wrong?”

He tossed his clothes around in the bag to make sure it wasn’t floating somewhere it shouldn’t be. “It’s gone. It’s _gone_. My bracelets _gone_.”

Magnus was quick to bring his hand to Alec’s leg. “I have it!” Whiplashing his head to the side, Alec couldn’t speak. “You left it at my place and I found it. I forgot to give it to you when I saw you.” He held his right wrist out towards Alec. There sat Alec’s rainbow bracelet, tied neatly against his boyfriend’s wrist.

 Sighing, Alec reached out and ran a hand over it. “Can I…?” Magnus nodded and flipped his wrist over so Alec could untie it. The rope-ish fabric rushed his hands as he pulled it off. In fact, he was so agitated that he didn’t notice Simon’s face pocking from the side of the seat. He just held the bracelet tightly in his hands as he leaned back in his chair, eyes closed. It wasn’t sure why, but something so small eased him.

“Alec, are you okay? I- I can grab a bottle of water from Coach if you need.”

He shook his head, eyes slightly opening, readjusting to the light. “I’m okay.”

There was rustling in front of them, probably Jace and Simon. “Team!” he heard Simon say. Looking up, Simon was standing in front of his seat. “It’s time for a new tradition for your traveling entertainment.” He cleared his throat as a crowed of chuckles and whispers flooded the bus. Loud enough so everyone could hear him, he started to sing. “I’m a Barbie girl in a Barbie world. Life in plastic, it’s fantastic! You can brush my hair,” he sang, pointing at Santiago, “undress me everywhere. Imagination, life is your creation!”

Jace popped up next to him and shouted in a deep voice, “Come on, Barbie, let’s go party.”

Simon mimicked a microphone in his hand. “Ah, ah, ah, yeah!”

“Come on, Barbie, let’s go party.”

“Ooo ohh! Ooo—Ow!” Magnus had crashed into Alec at the right time or else he would’ve been hit by the shoe that had flown into Simon’s head. The defense man rubbed his head with his hand and frowned.

Alec couldn’t help but chuckle along as the team laughed. He needed a good laugh and Simon and Jace’s idiot act had definitely lightened his heart and head.

“Can someone throw me back my shoe?” Everyone, shocked at who spoke, poked their head out of their seats to look at Coach Garroway.

Simon gasped and held a hand to his heart. “Coach! _You_ threw your shoe at me?”

“Lewis, it’s best if you don’t ever sing again. Stick to the sport you’re good at. My shoe, who has it?” There was a chorus of “Oooo” around the bus as Magnus reached for the runaway shoe.

Simon poked his head back up. “Come back next week for a rendition of Stick to the Status Quo from High School Musical!”

Magnus tossed it back to their coach who had to lunge off his seat to catch it. “You missed me by a foot, maggot.”

Chuckling, Magnus shot back, “There’s a reason I don’t play baseball, Coach."

“Or, maybe a rendition by Magnus and Alec of I Don’t Dance from High School Musical Two. Any calls on which of the who is Ryan or Chad?” Someone shouted, “Shut up, Lewis!” from the back of the bus and Simon groaned, turning to Jace. “You know, they would’ve liked it better if you were Barbie.”

Alec watched them from between the seats. “Why the hell would _I_ be Barbie?” Jace demanded back, arms crossed over his chest. “I’m obviously Ken.”

Simon rolled his eyes. “Blonde hair and all, duh.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry it's taken me a month to update! I feel like I have to say sorry at the beginning of every chapter now. I've just had the most horrible motivation for this chapter, and I don't know why.
> 
> But hopefully its content makes up for it? 
> 
> I won't make you wait any longer <3 Thank you for continuing to read. I truly love all of you that are still on board with me!

Alec slung his gear bag over his shoulder as he took it off the bus and pulled his heavy, winter coat closer to his body. The scarf wrapped tightly around his neck did nothing to prevent the brutal, Canadian weather from rolling into his coat, freezing is body. He much rather preferred this country in the summer.

Thankfully, the bus pulled up right to the front of the hotel’s front door, allowing him and his teammates to have a short route back to the warmth.

The doors slid open and the brightness from the lights took him a minute to adjust his eyes. “Fucking Mother Nature needs to take a chill pill.” Alec glanced over at his best friend. Jace tossed his bag onto one of the couches in the lobby as Coach went to the front desk to check in.

“Don’t you think she’s chilled enough?” Alec chuckled as he rolled his head, cracking the kinks. Jace scoffed as Alec pulled his gloves off, setting his bag next to Jace’s.

His best friend rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean, Alec. It’s way too cold to function. Why can’t we have a road trip in Florida or something? At least the temperature is bearable there.”

“Clearly whoever made our schedule this season dislikes us.” Alec unzipped his coat, taking his cell phone out of his pocket. He opened his messenger app and tapped on the group chat between his siblings and himself. _At the hotel_ , he texted. _Turning in soon._

Jace nodded and undid his own coat, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “At least something good came out of literally freezing our dicks off; we won tonight and added two points to our season record.”

Shaking his head amused, Alec side eyed Jace as his phone buzzed in his hands. “Poor Clary. Are you going to tell her the bad news?”

Eyes crinkling and mouth frowning, Jace asked, “What bad news?”

Shrugging, Alec pressed his finger onto the phone sensor, opening his sisters reply. “That your dick fell off, obviously.” _Good! Text before your flight tomorrow,_ Isabelle had replied. _Will do_. “Or, unless that doesn’t really matter and you like it up the a—”

Pushed against his shoulder, Alec laughed. “Shut up,” Jace groaned, drawling the vowels. “For the second time, you know what I meant,” he said just as Coach came up behind them.

 “Herdondale, stop talking to your girlfriend and do your job.” Coach pushed the hotel keys into his hands. Nodding, Jace stuffed one into his back pocket and gave Alec—his apparent girlfriend— his key, the other key to their room. “Team,” Garroway shouted across the lobby, “gather around. As your captain is handing out your room keys, I want to talk.”

Everyone gathered around them. Alec, still next to their coach, backed away a little; Coach had a loud voice and it was 11 pm at night—but really 1 am due to the time difference. Out of the corner of his eye, Alec spotted Magnus who had just grabbed his room key before walking his way.

“Hey,” Magnus whispered before bumping his side into Alec who winked back as Coach spoke again.

“First of all, congratulations on your win tonight against the Calgary Flames. We don’t meet them often in the season, but you shut them out during both of our games.” A few of the boys hollered happily, but lowered their voiced when Coach sent a glare in their direction. Alec chuckled at how annoyed he looked all the time. Once you got to know him, he was a cuddly bear that you could hug any time you wanted—okay, not cuddly, but he would always be there if you needed him. “A lot of good things came out of this game—the majority of which we will discuss at length during our next practice. But it is now official!” Coach cracked a grin. “The New York Islanders are going to the playoffs! In two weeks, round one starts!”

“Yeah we are!”

“ _And_ ,” Coach added, “in the first round we’re playing against the Rangers—our rivals. Best part, you’ll all be able to sleep in your own beds since we’re both New York teams.”

“Hit ‘em first, boys!”

“Kick their asses!”

This time, Coach didn’t make them stop. Going to the playoffs have always been special for any NHL team. Only 16 out of 31 teams are eligible to go each season and only two of them will make it past 3 rounds allowing them to compete in the Stanley Cup Finals. “We’ve had a good team this year and we need to take advantage of it. Don’t slack during practice and especially not during any game. Make sure you eat and drink enough each day. Get at least 8 hours of sleep. Fight for what you want, boys, because you—dare I say it—have an incredibly good chance this year.”

“Don’t curse us, Coach,” someone taunted. “If we go down, it’s ‘cause of you now,” he laughed, the majority of the team joining in.

Garroway waved brushing-off hand in the air. “Yeah, yeah, Minyard. As long as you give me 150% on the ice, then it doesn’t really matter.” He shifted his weight from one foot to the other and glanced out at his team. Alec saw the want in his eyes—the hunger—but also a softness. It could’ve been tiredness showing, but after being under Garroways’ wing for 5 seasons, he knew better. “Alright, go to bed. I’ll see you all in the morning.”

The elevator opened and Alec rushed over, gear bag and overnight bag in hand, after feeling eyes on his back. With Jonathan being not too far, he can’t ever be too careful. Luckily, the doors closed before the writer had any chance of making his way over. Everyone else too busy on their phones, Alec pressed number three and the elevator jolted to life.

There was a new set of eyes on him now, but these were more calming. Nothing about this sensation of being watched made Alec uneasy, and once he found who’s body the eye’s belong to, it made sense. Magnus stood on the other side of the elevator, back pack strap the only nonprofessional aspect of his attire. Looking at his boyfriend, Alec took in the way his body leaned against the elevator wall, arms crossed over his chest loosely.

But the intensity in Magnus’ eyes never calmed. The darkness of his brown eyes made something stir deep down. Feeling sweat form along his hairline, Alec pulled his scarf away from around his throat, exposing the skin there. He watched as Magnus’ eyes flicked from his eyes down to his neck. His eyes narrowed as he focused and Alec gasped quietly when Magnus licked his bottom lip before taking it between his teeth, biting down.

Alec pulled his eyes away and focused on the opening doors when the elevator came to a halt. Poulsen was the first one out, Smith and Lee trailing slowly being him. Magnus went next, eyes no longer on Alec. Looking down after Magnus moved his coat that was folded over his front, Alec clearly saw a bulge forming.

Watching Magnus open his hotel door without another glance, Alec wondered if this whole purpose was to make him frustrated. “Dick,” he muttered disbelievingly under his breath, sliding his hotel card into the slot.

[][][][][]

The front door clicked open and shut just as Alec stuffed his tooth brush back into his bag. “Dude, I’m beat. Bed, calling. Brain, tired.” Jace pretended to sound like a zombie and raised his arms, reaching towards his bed. Alec looked up at him through his eyebrows from where he sat on the edge of his bed.

After tossing his clothes into his bag, Alec replied, “Maybe you should climb in then and sleep.”

“But fooood,” Jace groaned, laying his bags on the bed. He unzipped one of them and pulled out a bag of Sour Cream and Onion chips.

Slinging his bag beside his bed, Alec scooted back into the middle of his bed. “We literally just ate at Denny’s. If I recall, you had an 8-ounce steak with potatoes and gravy and carrots on the side. And you’re _still_ hungry?”

Shrugging, Jace pulled open the bag, immediately stuffing in his hand, pulling out a few chips. “A growing boy’s gotta eat.”

Eyeing his best friend, Alec pulled the covers back, saying, “You just turned 22 a couple months ago. I think it’s safe to say you’re all grown up, physically anyway. Mentally…” Alec cocked his head to the side for extra emphasis, “you might need more work.”

Jace whipped his dirty hand on his pants, swallowing his chips. Alec has always wondered why he dirtied his clothes for no reason. Walking over to the mini refrigerator—chip bag still in hand—he pulled the door open. “Very funny. You want something from in here?” He crouched down to look at the contents inside. “Water? Or… is this orange juice?” he asked, leaning in closer to inspect the bottle. “Hmm. Maybe it’s for one of these tiny liquor bottles.” Jace turned his head to look over his shoulder. “Want some liquor?”

Scoffing, Alec shook his head and held up a hand. “I’m good.”

"Al-right, buddy." Jace stuck his hand in the fridge and pulled out an Aquafina water bottle, twisting the top open. "But don't beg me for a drink or my chips later. You lost your--"

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

Their heads whipped towards the door and Jace stood, bag of chips and water in his left hand. Pushing the covers off, Alec crawled to the foot of the bed curiously. The boys rarely visited each other at night after everyone settled in. 

Jace pulled the door open and Alec felt a calming sensation wash over him the second be saw his Magnus on the other side, standing in nothing more than a t-shirt and pajama bottoms. 

Eyes glazed, he took a step into the room and pushed his hand at Jace's chest. "You need to leave."

Placing his hand where Magnus' was, Jace held onto something as Magnus pulled his hand away. Alec finally realized that Magnus pushed his hotel key into Jace's chest. Confused, Jace took a step back and looked at the key. "What? And go to your room?"

Magnus waked further in the room, leaving Jace behind him. "331. Simon's watching Star Wars." His eyes met with Alec's and through just their eyes meeting, Alec felt his body stir. 

"Fine. I'll be back in the morning," Jace groaned, pulling the door closed behind him. 

Immediately, Magnus climbed onto the bed, knee’s pushing into the fluffy duvet. Grinning, Alec sat back, bottom resting on his heels. “Why, Mr. Lightwood, my eyes have been on you all night.”

Alec nodded, smile playing on his lips as Magnus crawled closer. “I remember clearly.”

Humming—or maybe it was a moan?—Magnus stopped in front of him and wrapped his fingers slowly around the blue sweatshirt Alec wore and tugged on it. Eyes focused on the patch of skin showing through the top of it, Magnus said, “You look cold. You know, they say skin-on-skin is the best way to heat up quickly.”

Alec knew that was the oldest line in the world, but it didn’t stop him from pulling the sweatshirt over his head, dropping it to the side of the bed. Magnus’ hands slid slowly over his naked chest. His fingers combed through the hair, tugging lightly like he knew Alec loved. “I think you missed something,” Magnus spoke, dark eyes glancing down to Alec’s boxers.

Any other time, Alec would have said something snarky back like, “ _You’re not much different_ ,” with his eyes roaming over Magnus’ own clothes still on his body. But the tension was different than those other times. It was less romantic. He opted to not say anything in reply and sat back onto the bed, his feet pulling out from under his body. Magnus’ hand, still on his chest, pushed him down so he was in a laying position. Alec’s back hit the bed gracefully, eyes connected with Magnus’.

Before he knew it, his boyfriend’s hands were on his boxers, tugging on the edges. Magnus’ fingers brushed against his hot skin as he pulled them lower and lower. He licked his lips slowly, eyes on Alec’s semi-hard cock, and Alec groaned at how animalistic Magnus was acting. He raised himself onto his elbows so he could see what happened next.

After tossing the boxers to the side, Magnus bent down and ran his wet tongue along the inside of his boyfriend’s thigh until he reached the bottom of Alec’s balls, never touching them. Then he did it again, but on the other thigh, leaving a trail that he was there. Like he was marking what was his.

Alec sucked in a breath and ran a hand over his chest, wanting to touch his nipples, but holding off in anticipation for what his boyfriend was going to do. Magnus’ tongue slid along his skin, circling it around Alec’s pubic bone, inching his tongue closer to Alec’s dick, but never touching it.

Trying to breath evenly, Alec let out a soft whimper. His boyfriend was being too much of a tease for his liking. He didn’t even realize the thumping ache in his cock until his eyes glanced away from Magnus for a quick second. “Magnus,” he groaned. “Come on.” He finally allowed himself to flick his fingers over his left nipple, sending a ripple of pleasure down his body to his dick.

Magnus’ eyes were suddenly on him again; dark and deep with passion. Alec would’ve said something encouraging, but his throat felt tight and he hoped his eyes said what his mouth couldn’t. His boyfriend must have gotten his message, because he was leaning down, taking Alec into his open, hot mouth.

Sighing, Alec struggled to keep his eyes open, focusing on Magnus’ skilled mouth. Alec shuddered as Magnus’ tongue fluttered along the vein on the underside of his cock and he instantly slid his hand down his body and weaved it into his boyfriend’s hair, tangling them together.

God, there was no way that he would make it much longer. Magnus must know that after being together for 5 months. He tugged on Magnus’ hair and received a moan in reply which had sent waves of pleasure through his dick. “ _Fuck_ , Magnus.” Alec heaved has he tried to breathe through the pleasure and anticipation. His chest, back and forehead were sweating, and they certainly weren’t the hottest part on his body. “I’m _close_ ,” he gasped as he flicked his nipple again, failing at trying to keep his impending orgasm in check.

He slowly opened his eyes, trying to see what Magnus was allowing him to do—if he was allowed to cum. Magnus hadn’t let up, his pace still quick, and hands moving wildly along his body and dick.

Alec felt small, despite being so tall—even taller than Magnus. It was a welcomed feeling since he always had to be the guy to take care of everything. Everyone’s always calling Alec with their problems, and it’s nice to just fade all of that to the back of his mind. Alec felt small, but he felt safe. Even with Magnus’ eyes boring into him.

It happened so quickly, he didn’t even realize it was happening. Alec’s grip on Magnus’ hair didn’t let up as he felt his orgasm pulse through him. It rippled through his body and he couldn’t keep his eyes open as Magnus swallowed him whole, lips down against his flesh. He whimpered with each new wave until his body allowed him to relax.

He melted into the hotel bed, racing to catch his runaway breath. He felt his dick fall against his leg, getting softer. He didn’t try to open his eyes until he felt Magnus moving in between his legs again, pushing them wider. Alec tried his best to raise an eyebrow.

Not looking up from the bottle he was holding, Magnus—more in control of his voice than Alec—asked, “Green, yellow or red?” They had talked about this, the color thing. Green for go, yellow for slow down and red for the big N-O. Alec told him he wanted to give it a try as they experienced with new things in the bedroom.

His voice was rough when he replied. “Green.”

The bottle Magnus was holding popped open and he finally looked Alec’s way. “Hands and knees.”

Bones still feeling like mush, Alec wondered if he should maybe have said yellow instead. But he somehow flipped over onto his stomach anyway, pushing up onto his hands and knees. He instantly felt Magnus’ cold fingers running down his crack towards his hole before circling them. Alec, already relaxed, didn’t need to try too hard to let Magnus in. His boyfriend’s finger slipped inside, slick and cold, and Alec shuddered. He tried to keep his mind blank, but he couldn’t overlook the pain of overstimulation rushing through him. With every thrust of his finger, Magnus would brush—probably purposely, Alec thought—his arm against Alec’s semi-soft cock. He had never tried orgasming twice before, but when Magnus asked if that was something he would try, Alec shrugged his shoulders and said sure.

Clearly, that time was now. Not that Alec was complaining… at all.

Magnus added two more fingers, stretching his hole, preparing him for something much bigger. Breathing was hard, but not as hard as his dick again. With each thrust of Magnus’ fingers, it was almost reigniting everything inside of him over and over, new sparks of electric springing to life. Alec’s arms gave out and his head fell to the mattress, it was easier this way to push back hungrily onto Magnus’ fingers.

“Breathe, Alexander,” Magnus had said when he finally removed all three. Alec whimpered as a reply, brain still mushy from his first orgasm, but he wanted to be good for Magnus. He kept his hips in check and waited patiently for the cold press of Magnus’ cock against his ass. There was rustling behind him, and through the crack between his legs, he could see Magnus undressing himself before rolling on a condom. He was certainly glad one of them came prepared on this away trip.

The first press in is always the best. Fingers were nice, but nothing compared to being completely filled by his boyfriend’s cock. The jolt of energy and pleasure that circulated through his body was overwhelming. He was completely hard again within minutes of coming.

“ _Fuck_ , you’re always so tight for me,” Magnus groaned above him, digging his fingers into Alec’s hips.

Alec nodded as best as he could. “J-Just for you,” he shuddered back.

Magnus didn’t stop until he was fully immersed in Alec. He didn’t give the younger much time to take to adjust, instead, he slowly pulled back out before pushing all the way back in. A tingle spread through Alec as Magnus’ cock brushed his prostate.

It took a second for Magnus to really get started like Alec knew he could. Little grunts were escaping his mouth with each new thrust that turned Alec on even more and his fingers digging into Alec’s pale skin added the perfect amount of pain so nothing will show in the locker room.

Alec had always loved the wet sounds that sang off their bodies. It was a beautiful melody that Alec could listen to on repeat for the rest of his life. It was their bodies coming together as one, creating multiple tracks on an instrumental album that only the two of them understood. An album that he never wanted to live without.

Skin was suddenly on his; Magnus bent his stomach flush against Alec’s back, thrusting not faulting. Slowly pushing back onto his hands, Alec felt hot, heavy, breathing against his ear. “ _Alec_.”

Something clicked inside of Alec after hearing Magnus groan his name. He whimpered as a spark of pleasure went straight to the tip of his untouched dick. He felt it slap against his leg and he reached a hand down towards it. “Say it again,” he rasped.

Magnus growled as he licked Alec’s shoulder, wanting to bite down, but resisted. Just as Alec spread his precum around as lube, Magnus let out a deep groan of his name, something completely unlike any other time he’s said his name. All Alec heard was _MineMineMine_.

His second orgasm hit him hard. One touch of his hand and his name on Magnus’ lips had him spilling onto the blanket beneath them. He didn’t even think about the poor housemaid who would have to clean it.

Hot, angry spurts flew out of him and his body jerked around as his intense orgasm. Seconds later, he felt the hotness of Magnus coming into the condom inside him.

Alec collapsed onto the blanket, mind completely blanked out. He didn’t realize coming twice would cause such havoc on his body after sex. He didn’t remember much, but he knew Magnus took good care of him.

[][][][][]

\+ Bonus

 

“I swear you both better have clothes on.”

Alec was jolted awake by a loud voice entering the room. He sighed deeply into his pillow and cuddled further into the warmth at his side.

“Wake up you lazy bastards. And put clothes on. I can clearly see they’re not on your bodies, but on the floor.”

Magnus groaned sleepily from beside him. His voice was thick and raspy and would probably turn Alec on if he wasn’t so tired. “Go away.”

Inching his eyes open, Alec saw Jace pull his bags from the middle of the empty bed in the room. “Be glad it wasn’t someone else coming in. I’m sure Coach would _love_ to walk in on this.”

He sighed, pulling his body away from Magnus. He realized he was completely clean from cum and lube. He’ll definitely have to thank Magnus in private. For now, he sat up, making sure the blanket covered everything it needed to. “When do we leave?”

“20 minutes, give or take.”

Groaning, Alec let one of his legs fall over the side of the bed, but a weak hand on his arm stopped him. “Nooo. Don’t go.” Sleepy Magnus is always so cute. His ruffled hair, tired eyes, and puppy pout was just a few things Alec loved about him.

“Just going to put clothes on to look semi-presentable.”

“I’ll make you look _very_ presentable in this bed again.”

Jace made a gagging sound and Alec had to chuckle at his best friend and boyfriend. With Magnus in this sleepy condition, there would be no way.

“Alright, Mr. Sleepy,” Alec grinned as he patted Magnus’ head, standing to pull his clothes off the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playoffs staring in the next chapter!!


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally think it's been a month since I updated, anD I'M SO SORRY! Please forgive me! My personal life has been so insane.
> 
> The final chapter is next, and then an epilogue will be last. I still can't believe FtLotG is coming to an end. It's so sad. And I can't believe how many of you stuck with me. It means SO much to me. <3 Thank you

It was game day.

It was playoff day, to be exact.

The Islanders were nearing the end of the first round of playoffs against the Rangers. They had already won 3 games out of 4 and needed one more win to move onto the next round. They had been lucky that they didn’t have to travel too far since Madison Square Garden, the Ranger’s arena, was only about a 30-minute drive from their own arena.

But today, they were back at home after playing the last two games at MSG. None of them said it, but the they knew it was extremely rare for a team to come back after being down two in a playoff series. They just needed to put a few pucks past the Ranger’s goalie tonight and they’d be moving on to face the winner between the Ducks and Flames. Either way the Islanders needed to be ready for a good fight.

The Islander’s Club had the team lined up for press before the game started. Since it was the playoffs, fans were eager to know just how ready their team was for a possible win.

Alec went through the motions and said his lines that he could speak in his sleep. Johnathan was in the room with them interviewing his teammates, but he was only able to stick his microphone in Alec’s face like the other journalists. He never had a chance to ask a question.

Coach had gathered them around and done their routine team chant. They knew what they had to do tonight: win.

[][][][][]

Alec wasn’t sure how they were fucking this game up or where their mindset was, but every time he looked up at the scoreboard and saw the 5-2 lead the Rangers had over them, he internally screamed. There was only 7 minutes left in the game, and there was absolutely no way they would be able to tie it up. If the game continued this way, the series score would be 3-2.

Sighing, he skated to the home bench and squeezed his way in between his boyfriend and best friend, Coach Garroway screaming over head of them at the next line to do _something_. He watched Matthews take the faceoff and lose, the Rangers winning the draw. Garroway cursed behind them and Alec tried not to sink further into the bench. The first thing they learned about hockey is, if you won the faceoff, you dictated the puck. You never want to lose that, especially when being down by 3 goals.

The Isles were forced back to play defense as the Rangers pushed them towards Santiago. Lee stuck his stick out to try and steal the puck, but his opponent saw it coming and quickly passed it to a teammate. Matthews was in front of the net trying to defend Santiago, but Miller, the Rangers center player, pushed him. Naturally, Matthews retaliated and pushed back.

Alec shook his head. Matthews should know better than to get distracted right now. His eyes should be on the puck, not Miller. He was Santiago’s last line of defense. The Rangers knew this too. They passed the puck around the Isles like it was nothing and one brought his stick up and fired it at Raphael.

But it never reached him. Instead it hit Matthews and ricocheted off his body, towards the side. Lee swooped in and scooped it up onto the tape of his stick. He rushed down the ice and passed it to Meliorn who took the opportunity to slap it at the goal.

He missed and everyone in the stadium let out the breath they were holding. Lundquist had it cupped into the back of his glove and Alec frowned further. He looked up to the scoreboard and saw 6:49 left on the clock.

But then everyone in the stadium started yelling and Jace was off the bench in a second skating towards the Ranger’s goalie. Coach was furious and everyone on the bench was standing but him. But when Alec looked harder towards where Jace went, an Islander player was on the floor cradling his face against his hands, gloves abandoned next to him.

What the _fuck_ just happened?

He looked back up to the scoreboard and a replay started showing on the screen. Lundquist had caught the puck and Matthews had just past the goalie net, ice shards spraying everywhere because of his fast stop. Miller was on him in an instant, charging after him full speed and force. Matthews had no way of knowing because his back was to Miller, and a second later, his body was smooshed against the boards, face colliding with the plexiglass. Alec stood now too.

The refs were pushing a screaming Miller off the ice and away from Matthews for a game misconduct. He wouldn’t be able to play for the rest of the game. Not only that, but he received a 5-minute major penalty for charging. The Islanders will have a powerplay, a one-man advantage over the Rangers, and they could score as many times as they’d like. Alec kept his eyes on Matthews who was still holding his face, skating to their bench with the help of Lee and Jace. Fans started clapping and cheering, and players tapped the head of their sticks along the home bench.

It wasn’t until Matthews reached the bench that Alec could see the full damage. It wasn’t as bad as one would think, but he would need stiches along his cheek. At least he could still walk. Their medic would probably check for a concussion.

“That was fucking uncalled for,” Magnus said angrily from next to him as they watched Matthews wobble down the tunnel to their dressing room.

Furious, Alec climbed out of the bench and onto the ice because he was on the powerplay line. “It was complete bullshit,” he tossed back. “Miller knew the consequences. This isn’t the first time he started something with Matthews.” He shook his head just thinking about it again.

It was frustrating seeing a good player like Matthews leave the ice, but they could look at the positive outcome; they had a powerplay for the next 5 minutes. It would take an absolute miracle, but maybe—just maybe—they would be able to get back into the game. They just needed 3 goals to tie it up. Easier said than done.

Lining up for the faceoff almost relaxed Alec. Since Matthews took the hit, the arena had been electric. The fans were pumped for a 5-minute powerplay and that always made the players’ insides rumble with excitement and determination. Since the Isles had 5 men on the ice and the Rangers had only 4, they were confident that they would be able to keep the puck in the Rangers zone, hopefully to score a few goals.

Like they hoped, Jace won the faceoff and passed the puck back to Magnus who pin ponged it with Simon a few times.

It first happened 2 minutes and 13 seconds into the powerplay. Magnus had shot the puck hard and it slid passed Lundquist into the net, flooding the arena with cheers and their Goal Song.

The second time it happened, they were 3 minutes into the powerplay. Simon had that power slap shot and it banged into the net behind Lundquist, making the goalie slap his stick angrily against the ice. Alec only saw the puck when it came out of the net.

The third time it happened, 3 minutes and 47 seconds in the powerplay, Lee rubbed his goal in the Rangers’ face, getting back at them because of Matthews from earlier. The score was tied at 5 now with only 1 minutes 13 seconds in the powerplay and 2 minutes and 2 seconds left in the game. At this point, they were going to overtime.

The fourth time it happened, they just wanted to keep the puck away from the Rangers, but Jace shot it in anyway. There was 40 seconds left in the powerplay and Alec knew they had to have broken some kind of record with the most goals scored in one powerplay and period for their franchise. (They later found out they did.) They were winning 6 to 5 now.

But with only 29 seconds left in the game, the Rangers tied it back up, forcing them to overtime.

Despite going to overtime, this had to be one of the most exciting games Alec has ever played. 5-minute major powerplay's are _rare_ , but they made the most of what they had and now they had forced overtime which was more than what they thought when third period first started.

Coach called them over to their bench before OT started. They had about a minute to hash out any plans needed for the next 5 minutes and hopefully they’ll drop one to the back of the net. Everyone had crowded around, and Garroway drew on his whiteboard the play he wanted them to carry out. After the miracle they just had, damn right they’ll follow their coach. Then the ref blew his whistle which meant they needed to line up.

The fifth time it happened, Alec thought he was in shock. Magnus had passed him the perfect puck as they raced towards the Rangers goalie and without a second of hesitance, the flipped the black disk into the net. Lundquist had no chance at stopping it.

The cheers in the arena were so _loud_ , Alec thought his ear drums might burst. But that left his mind the second he was tackled to the ground.

His back hit the ice and a muffled _oof_ came out of his mouth, but there was no way his smile would come off his face. Especially not when his boyfriend was laying on him, shouting in his ear how _fucking happy_ he was. The smile on Magnus’ face completely melted Alec’s heart. Thank goodness he was already on the floor, because if he weren’t, he would be now. The crinkle in Magnus’ eyes just showed how happy he was, and Alec was so glad he could be a part of that. “I fucking _love_ you,” he shouted.

Magnus’ eyes sparkled more and if his smile wasn’t hurting his face already, it would now.

Then there were more skates by his head and more weight added on top of Magnus. But after the win they just had, Alec didn’t care.

[][][][][]

The locker room was a stuffy, heated mess when Alec walked in, but he wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. There was champagne in their locker room for winning and moving onto the conference finals and Simon had immediately ran over to the bucket and gave a bottle a hand shake. They also had gear with “Playoffs 2018” printed on the hats and shirts.

“Who’s the best?” he shouted as he shook the bottle. “We’re the best!” he answered himself. They still had their gear and jersey’s on, but it didn’t matter. Tonight, they’ll have a celebration, tomorrow starts practice again.

On his way to his locker to toss his gloves down, Alec heard Simon shout, “Shit, fore!” and the pop of the cork flying off the bottle. Turning around, he saw everyone standing in front of Simon ducking.

Jace let out a bellow of a chuckle next to him and clapped his hands across his legs. “Wrong sport, you idiot!”

With his mouth around the leaking champagne, Simon replied muffled, “Rules still apply!”

Other’s—Jace being the leader as always— started grabbing unopened bottles, shaking them like Simon had, spraying the exploding champagne on top of each other. They were jumping, yelling their excitements and when Alec looked deeper, he saw Magnus in the center of them. He must’ve looked up at the same time because next thing Alec knew, Magnus was calling out his name. “Lightwood! Get your ass over here!”

Alec wasn’t big on being the center of attention—unless he was alone with his boyfriend; keep your eyes on him at all times, _please, Magnus_. But with events like this, he was almost shy despite being in the public eye for the majority of his hockey career. He feel a magnetic-like pull towards the group once they started chanting his name—or maybe Jace was pushing him, he didn’t know. It all happened like the blur. One second he was tossing his gloves and helmet down, the next he was jumping with the rest of his team, grinning like a fool.

“Coach!” someone yelled out. Then, everyone ran to huddle around Garroway, shaking their bottles to make more of a mess.

Camera’s were being pushed in their faces, but no one cared. Even Coach was happy; he was grinning and Alec had to think about the last time he saw Coach smile—it’s been a while. “I know, I know! Congratulations! Lightwood, Lewis, you have visitors.”

They glanced at each other and looked towards the double doors, slowly sliding out of the giant group. Alec wiped his wet face on his shoulder, but it was covered in champagne too, smearing the already sticky sparkling wine.

Pushing the doors open together, Alec’s smile grew wider if possible. Not only was Isabelle there throwing her arms around Simon’s neck, but so were his parents and Max. The youngest Lightwood called out Alec’s name and ran up to him. “You did it! You won!”

Laughing freely, Alec bit his lip because, _yeah_ , they did. He smiled down at his brother who looked up at him as if he hung the world. “One round down, three more to go.”

“You totally got this. And that _ending_ , Alec!” Max held his head in his hands like his brain was about to explode, but he wanted to keep everything intact. “Holy crap! I’ve never seen that happen, like, _ever_!”

Barking out a laugh, Alec nodded because it _was_ insane. “Are you kidding? _I’ve_ never seen anything like that happen.”

“Me neither,” Simon chimed in, arm around Izzy’s waist. “I’m so proud of us tonight. I swear, if those goals aren’t the talk of the century, I don’t know what is,” Simon shrugged.

Izzy smiled fondly, curling her head into the crook of her boyfriend’s neck, whispering something so only he could hear. He looked shocked for a second, immediately turning to face her. He whispered something back and she nodded shyly before he picked her up and spun her around. Alec found himself smiling at their love; he was so incredibly happy for his sister.

“Alec, we are so proud of you.”

Turning around, he came face-to-face with his parents. Their faces held smiles and his mother moved in for a hug, squeezing his body way too tightly. “Thank you. I’m so glad you came!”

His dad tapped him on the shoulder playfully. “You think we’d miss the chance to see you win this round? We know we don’t get to see you play as often as we’d like, but we are always so proud of you with everything you do and have become, son. We love you _so_ much.”

His heart melted and he felt an overwhelming urge of impulse to just say what he’s been literally dying to tell them since he was younger. He’s gay and in love with Magnus Bane. Was that too hard to say out loud? Consequences and all? Universe, give him a sign, _please_.

He mentally shrugged. Magnus was worth it all.

He opened his mouth to say _something_ , but the doors behind him opened suddenly. “Well, hell! No one told me the Lightwood’s were here!”

His mother smiled and opened her arms. “Jace! Come here! We missed you!”

Well, at least the universe told Alec that now wasn’t the best time. Maybe that meant something.

[][][][][]

Alec was pretty sure they should still be with the team, but when Magnus dragged him out of their hotel in Anaheim, he said Coach okayed it. He knew Magnus knew the area—he _did_ play in Anaheim for 4 years before being traded—but where was he taking him at 3 o’clock in the afternoon? They had barely settled into their hotel rooms. The playoffs were flying by quickly and they were already starting game 3 of the second round tomorrow. The first two games were played in New York, the next two will be in Anaheim, California. Both teams were tied in the series with 1.

Thankfully they had their team practice earlier today and not tonight. Was this a date?

“It’s not,” Magnus spoke softly next to him. Eyes wide, Alec’s eyes glanced at the Uber driver, but he never indicated he heard. He hoped this guy didn’t follow hockey.

Sinking back into his seat, Alec looked back at his boyfriend. His light smile was enough to calm Alec’s beating heart.  “Where are we going then?” Magnus ducked his head and took a deep breath which made Alec’s heart quicken again. “Mags?” he asked timidly, leaning forward slightly.

Magnus must’ve heard the worry in his voice because he instantly looked back up and let his hands rest on Alec’s. “It’s nothing bad. It’s just…” He looked away again and spoke quieter. “I know all of your best friends and family. We’ve been together for just over 5 months, and I know this is really sudden, but I want you to meet my best friends.”

Alec’s eyebrows shot up. Well… That wasn’t what he was expecting. But it was a good surprise! They had talked about Alec meeting them after the season, but they had forgotten to take into account what would happen if the Islanders had played the Ducks in the playoffs.

“But if you don’t want to…” Magnus had started again after Alec didn’t reply.

“No! I _do_.” A small smile crept onto Alec’s face and he flipped their hands so his were on top. He cradled Magnus’ hands in his. “I really do, Mags.”

Magnus let out a breath and physically relaxed. Feeling bad that he caused Magnus to tense up in the first place, Alec ran a hand along his boyfriend’s wrist and forearm, the Uber driver completely gone from his mind. “Okay, good, because I told them you did. I’m sorry! I was nervous this was too early.”

Shaking his head before Magnus even finished, Alec tried to shush him. “I don’t care if it’s now or a month from now when the seasons over or even a year from now. I will always want to meet them because they’re your friends. They were—” _there for you when I wasn’t_. “—your friends for a long time and _of course_ I want to meet them. I’m just sorry it’s taken this long.”

Lip hanging out like a sad and thankful puppy, Magnus dropped his head to Alec’s shoulder with a sigh. “I love you,” he mumbled.

With a short chuckle, Alec brought a hand up to pet Magnus’ hair. “I know. I love you too.”

The car came to a halt and Alec felt the nerves kick in as he looked at the houses. It wasn’t bad nerves though. It was almost like the ones he’d get when he played a game: eagerness, determination. He would finally meet the people Magnus called family.

When Magnus knocked on the door and twisted the doorknob to push it open, Alec glanced at him. His eyes were a mix of excited emotions when he looked at the memories hung on the walls and tables. His smile grew wider when they heard a female voice shout out his name.

“Magnus! You nearly game me a heart attack!” said the woman as he rounded the corner. She was wearing casual clothes—jeans and a nice tee—but her makeup was done which matched her darker skin complexion perfectly and her hair was up in a bun with dangling earrings to add an extra flare. Alec knew instantly she and Magnus were good friends.

With wide arms, Magnus pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry, darling, I just assumed ‘the door is always open’ phrase still applied.”

She sent him a glare and hit him lightly on the shoulder. “You know it does. I missed you! You’ve gotten skinnier.”

Scoffing, Magnus stepped back to look down at himself. “Contrary, I think the opposite. This one,” he said pointing behind him at Alec, “feeds me well.”

Alec didn’t remember cooking for Magnus—he might burn down the place if he tried. Now, Magnus was the cooker of the two of them. “You mean you feed _me_ well,” he tossed back.

Magnus just looked back at him over his shoulder and said, “No.” Well… okay then. Magnus winked and _oh_. Alec could feel his face heat up because his boyfriend did _not_ just make a sexual joke, did he?

Thankfully, his friend didn’t notice. Pushing past Magnus, the woman pulled Alec into a heartwarming hug. “Alec, I can’t believe I’m finally meeting you! I’m C—”

“Catarina,” Alec supplied as he unwrapped his hands from her. “Magnus has told me a lot about you. I feel like I already know you and Ragnor.”

Grinning, she glanced back at her friend. “You can call me just ‘Cat’ if you prefer. And likewise. You should see the texts receipts I have from this guy. ‘He’s so beautiful, Cat.’ ‘He’s the sweetest boyfriend ever!’ ‘I loooove him!’ ‘I think I want to—’—”

“Okay, Cat, he gets it,” Magnus said with embarrassed strain in his voice. Alec looked at him with a smirk. He wouldn’t deny, though, he kind of wanted to know what that last one was.

Cat shrugged and started walking down the hall where she came from when they first walked in. “Just making sure he knows.”

Groaning, Magnus reached for Alec’s hand and pulled him down the hallway. “Anyway, where’s the old man?” he asked glancing around the kitchen they just entered. “I figured I’d see him in his favorite chair reading the newspaper from 5 days ago with his glasses hanging low on his nose.”

Cat barked out a laugh as she went over to the counter to collect her phone and tapped a few times. “Alec, Ragnor is not like that, but he does have a grumpy attitude sometimes. He’s on his way. At least he was right before you got here.”

“You mean, I _am_ here,” a fourth voice said from the hall they just came from.

Perking up, Magnus bit his lip with anticipation until his other friend entered the room. “Rags! Come here!” he said as he pushed his body off the counter he was leaning against to embrace his friend. Magnus hummed as they pulled apart. “Looks like you’ve gotten fatter.”

Ragnor scoffed as Cat quietly agreed. “Go back to New York,” he replied in fake disgust, “and take that one with you.” he nodded once to Cat who smiled.

“Oh, my darling Ragnor, cheer up, would you? You haven’t even met my boyfriend yet.” Alec took a deep breath as Magnus dragged his older friend by the wrist towards where Alec sat at the kitchen table. “Ragnor, this is Alec. Alexander, this is Ragnor.”

Smiling, Alec wiped his hand on his pants and held it out for Ragnor to shake. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. Magnus told me a lot about you both.”

Ragnor chuckled lightly. “I doubt it’s as much as he told us about you—and it’s a lot. ‘He’s the beeeest!’ ‘I loooove him, Ragnor!’”

Groaning, Magnus put his head in his hands. Muffled by his hands, he drawled, “ _No_ , not you too.” Ragnor laughed as Cat poked Magnus in the side, succumbing him to a wiggling mess.

“Finally, something I have against you!’

Alec loved watching Magnus in his natural form. Watching him with his best friends—his family—was so heartwarming to see first-hand. Everything clicked into it’s perfect spot like Magnus was the key to this world, and Alec wasn’t sure what it really meant, but he just knew he could never let go of him _ever_. He knew immediately everything would be okay.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo that game is literally a true story and inspired me to write this chapter! 
> 
> Check it out here (you know, if you care haha)! [Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Mi8Ch5dLPg&feature=onebox)


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MAN, GUYS. The amount of times I cried while writing this chapter is insane. Ug. Seriously I can't even thank you enough for allowing me to write something that I love so much.
> 
> This is the last chapter before the epilogue. Hopefully when you're done reading it, you'll feel as resolved as Malec do. 
> 
> Also, @ the crazy hockey fans reading (if there are any!) I _know_ the Islanders and Ducks would never play in the second round together, but let my fiction-self live! 
> 
> Lastly, take a look at the end of chapter notes; there's an important question for you guys! 
> 
> Love you, and thank you.

When Alec woke up today, he felt two things: Magnus’ knee digging into his back, and the feeling that it was going to be a good day.

It was a good day, because today would be when the Islanders move onto round 3 of the playoffs—or so they hoped. In round one, the Ducks had won against the Flames and moved onto round two to play against the Islanders. 6 games in the series were played—each team won 3 times—and today would determine the winner. They had ping ponged the series score back and forth, all coming down to this last game. The Islanders were lucky to have home-ice advantage.

When Magnus, Jace and Alec all walked in to the arena together—Magnus drove his own car—, no one batted them an eye since it had become a common thing in the last few months. Coach glanced their way quickly before rounding up the team for their pre-game practice.

Alec was right when he thought it would be a good day. Practice had gone well, and everyone’s energy was high. Magnus had taught them all about his old teammates and their weaknesses, just as they knew Josten, their old teammate traded for Magnus, would be doing. The game was as fair as could be.

Even while dressing out of their practice jerseys into their gameday one’s, Alec felt the thrum of energy flow through him. This excitement of possibly moving on was hopefully enough to push them to play the best hockey they have all season. It was a high-stake game; if you lost, you’re out of the playoffs and the season is done for you.

Coach Garroway and Jace stood in the front of the locker room before the game like always and gave their before-game spiel. Alec didn’t really grasp what they were saying, but as he cracked his neck side to side, he thought of the plays they would be doing tonight. He knew them back and forth; knew how to do them in his sleep.

There were only a few minutes before they would be called out when Simon flew by him to his locker. He didn’t think of much when the defenseman called out, “Izzy texts me before each game! It’s kind of a good luck charm now.” It made him think of his family who were sitting in the arena right now waiting to watch the Islanders win.

There was a gasp behind him where Simon was and then someone else spoke quietly in a hushed, angry tone. When he turned to look at them, Alec found it was Jace who stared at Simon’s phone in horror. Alec’s feet were moving before he told them to. Something was wrong.

“Alec, don’t,” Jace warned, hand out in front of him. “Please, Alec, don’t look.”

It was a good day until it wasn’t.

It felt like a blur when Alec grabbed the phone. Jace told him not to see whatever was on it— it only fueled him to do so. Magnus, who was standing next to him in his previous spot, was suddenly next to him now.

The title of the article said it all.

“ _Not Just One LGBT+ NHL Player, But TWO!” by Jonathan Morgenstern_

_You heard it here first, folks! It’s known around hockey fans that Magnus Bane, right winger for the New York Islanders, is the first LGBT+ current player in the NHL (he’s bisexual), but is it surprising to find out that there are two? It’s true! And better yet, this mystery man is **dating** Magnus Bane!_

_Have you figured it out yet? If not, you have one last chance to decide. Not only is this player on the Islanders with Bane, but they have known each other for quite a long time. Starting to catch on? That’s right! It’s Alec Lightwood! We’ve only received this information this morning, and when better to tell it than the present?_

_This morning, Newsday received an anonymous email linked with a video of none other than Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood on what is so obviously a date (it was Valentine’s Day!) attached with a note. (View the video down below)_

“ _Our anonymous source said, ‘After a couple months of debating whether or not it’s my business to out someone, I realized that it is not. But then, I thought of it in a different way.’ Our source based their final decision on their lesbian sister who had trouble coming out to her family in college. Our source believes that showing the world our staring athletes’ true identities, problems like homophobia will soon be eradicated because same-sex couples will be shown on the limelight._

_Do you think they were right? Either way, happy outings, Lightwood!_

_What do you think of Alec Lightwood and Magnus Bane’s new (or not so new) romance? Let us know in the comments below after watching their Valentine’s video!”_

Alec couldn’t breathe. His breathing was shallow, and his entire body was shaking, but he didn’t notice. The phone wasn’t in his hand anymore—either on the floor, or Magnus had grabbed it—but it didn’t matter. He did want to read it again or watch that video.

He wanted to fall into a pit to rot and die. It was out. His last two secrets were out and there was nothing he could do about it. He wasn’t ready. _No one_ should have to feel this powerless when it came to their life. _His_ life. He was going to come out, but on _his_ terms. But everyone would know now. _Everyone_. Would he be kicked off the team? Would _Magnus_? What would his parents—

His _parents_. A whimper escaped from him, but he didn’t realize it was him until there were arms tightening around him, holding him up from crumbling to the ground.

Someone was in his ear talking to him, but none of the words made any sense to him. He was completely in his own mind, thinking of what if’s. Did his parents already read the article?

 _Probably_.

What if he just lost his parents? What if they never spoke to him again? He knows them and how they think. What if he doesn’t have a family after today?

“ _Alec_! Listen to me!” Magnus’ worried face was in front of his, hands planted firmly on his cheeks. “Can you hear me, Alec?” He nodded as best he could. Sighing, Magnus wiped at Alec’s face dragging wetness across one cheek. He hadn’t even realized he cried. “I need you to breathe with me. In for 5 seconds through your nose, out for 5 through your mouth. Ready? In 2, 3, 4, 5. Out 2, 3, 4, 5. Again.”

It wasn’t until he was breathing semi-normal that he realized their entire team was staring at him. Out of everyone huddled by the door, only 3 of them—Minyard, Meliorn and Coach— knew a fraction of the story. It would be hard to explain to the rest of them when they needed to be out on the ice any second now.

The game. How could he play like this? His brain hurt. How could he face 19,000 people—not including the one’s watching on national television—and play like a champion?

“Alec, focus on me,” Magnus tried again. “Get out of your head, okay?”

He wanted to nod, so he did. But he also wanted to look into Magnus’ usual calming eyes, but he didn’t. How could he face Magnus when he just had a meltdown after finding out people will know about their relationship? That wasn’t fair to Magnus. He deserved better.

“What did I just say, Alec? You can make it through this. You’re so fucking strong, okay? I can’t even begin to think of how you feel, but know that I am right beside you through every _single_ step of the way. I swear I’m going to punch that bastard right in his face.”

This time, he did look up. He could finally feel the puffiness of his eyes as he sniffled and nodded. Magnus’ eyes really did calm him.

“Lightwood?” Coach said, closer than the rest of the team. “I hate to say this right now to you, but we really need you on the ice today. Go clean up, we’ll line up outside.”

He didn’t want to, but he nodded, knowing the distraction from his personal life was definitely needed. He dropped the helmet he was holding and the gloves he had on his hands where he stood and pulled away from his boyfriend in the direction of the sinks. He needed to wash his face desperately. Either way, he was sure the cameras would pick up on his abnormally reddened face.

He rushed himself, knowing there wasn’t much time for him to fool around. When he pulled the paper towel out of the dispenser and looked up into the mirror to wipe his face, he saw Magnus leaning against the wall staring at him, arms crossed.

Oh, God. He didn’t even think of the fact that Magnus is a victim too. _Of course_ , he is. He’s half their relationship and he was outed just as much as Alec was.

Alec felt a new wave of nausea fall over him as he turned around to face his boyfriend. His voice was scratchy and thick as he tried to finally talk. “Magnus. Are you okay? I- I’m sorry, I—”

“Shh, shh.” Magnus was beside him in an instant. “Don’t say you’re sorry. You’ve done nothing wrong, baby. None of this is your fault, I don’t blame you. And please don’t overanalyze it. I know you too well,” he said with a soft smile.

Like always, Alec couldn’t help but give in.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he admitted quietly. He wasn’t sure why he said it, he just knew he needed Magnus to know how much he needed him now and for always.

Cracking a bigger smile, Magnus threw an arm around Alec’s waist as they walked towards the door to the hallway. “Well, I can definitely tell you your life wouldn’t be as glamorous without me in it. I totally rock your world,” he said jokingly. But it was true.

Before pushing the door open, Alec turned in Magnus’ arm and pulled him close into a short hug before placing a soft kiss on his lips. He hoped Magnus understood that if life went completely sour because of Jonathan, Alec would always choose him. He was the one constant that Alec needed.

[][][][][]

By the end of the first period, Alec knew he hadn’t been playing to his fullest potential. His mind kept him feeling like he was stripped bare in front of the whole world for them to see. Like everything he was feeling and thinking were out in the open.

During the first intermission—after Coach gave them all their corrections—he called over Magnus with a hushed, yet rough, “Bane!” and nodded his head once towards his office. But Alec heard and sighed as Magnus got up from the bench next to him. At least he still had Jace and Simon. He was so thankful for them in that moment.

He knew none of his teammates knew yet because they weren’t allowed on their phones for the 18-minute intermission, but what if the announcers on the TV said something? They had one screen hanging in the corner, so they could see what the viewers at home saw. Brendan and Butch could shout, “Breaking news!” or something just as cliché and that would be it.

But, thankfully, nothing like that happened, and soon, Magnus was sitting next to him again, arm wrapped around his shoulder. That wasn’t uncommon now, but the hand resting comfortably on Alec’s knee was. He would never allow that in front of anyone who didn’t know about their relationship. But he figured what-the-hell and let it stay. He even rested his head on Magnus’ shoulder, staring absently into the lockers across from them.

By the end of the second period, the Ducks were up 3-2, but the Islanders could have easily been up 4-3 if Alec had been pulling his weight and passed the puck at the correct angle or didn’t let the puck fall off the tape on the head of his stick. He knew the fans will be pissed at him if they weren’t already. He also knew a handful of fans wouldn’t accept him for being gay, but that was a whole new story. One that required much more time than 18 minutes.

When Coach called a time-out with 5 minutes left in the game, the Ducks were up 5-3. There was still enough time to catch up. He played like shit tonight, but he needed to push that all aside. It was definitely easier said than done. Like Magnus said, Alec tended to get into his head a lot.

When a whistle was blown to get the five players from each team at the faceoff circle, Alec stood from the bench, getting ready to set his feet on the ice beside Jace and Magnus. “Lightwood, sit,” Coach called. “Lee, get out there.”

Stunned, Alec sat back down as Lee hopped onto the ice to take his spot on the first line. If he wasn’t in deep shit before, he was now. He didn’t get to play once in the next 5 minutes. The Islanders lost 5 to 3, allowing the Ducks to move onto round 3.

[][][][][]

The locker room was dead quiet as they showered and changed. Alec could feel the disappointment rolling off his teammates.

He was about to head to shower when Coach popped his head out of his office and called out his and Raphael’s name. “They want you for the post-game interview.”

Eyes going wide, Alec shook his head and blurted across the silent room, anxiety filling his chest. “No. Coach, I can’t.” Those interviews were always with _him_. With Jonathan. He could feel his teammates’ glares wondering why. He should do it because he fucked this game up for them, but he continued to plead his case. “Please, Coach, I—”

“I’m sorry, Alec, I tried to get you out of it already.” Shrugging earnestly, Coach sighed as he leaned against the door frame of his office door. “He wouldn’t budge.”

That only angered Alec because what kind of answer is that? It wasn’t Coach’s fault, but he needed to place his frustrations at _someone_ for today. He grunted and threw his gloves into his locker. “Of _course_ , he wouldn’t budge,” he said through gritted teeth before turning back to Coach. “You know what he’s going to ask me? I can assure you it won’t be about hockey or tonight’s game! Oh no,” he chuckled bitterly. “He’ll shove the microphone that _this team_ gave him into my face and on live television—because the stakes always have to be high with him—and will flat out ask me, ‘So, Alec, when did you realize you were gay? Why didn’t you say anything like Magnus did? Not brave enough, or what?’” Alec was in no way happy when he heard a few gasps from his teammates, but he smiled as if he was. The hatred for Jonathan that boiled inside of him for so long was finally surfacing. It was all out, so why hide it anymore. “Then he’ll say, ‘While we’re talking about you and Magnus why don’t you tell the _millions_ ’—because there will be _millions_ by the time everyone watches it— ‘of viewers watching how he is in bed—’”

“ _Enough_ , Lightwood,” Garroway demanded. “I get that you’re pissed off— and you have every fucking right to be— but don’t displace this shit on us when the real guy you need to go after is just a hallway away.”

Bowing his head with a heavy sigh, Alec shook it, trying to rid himself of his angry thoughts. He kicked his still laced up skates and fell with another sigh to the bench followed by a thud.

When he didn’t say anything, one of his teammates took the opportunity to open his mouth. “Wait, what the _fuck_ happened today?”

There was no way that he could explain. Thankfully he didn’t have to because Simon did. “Jonathan Morgenstern happened. You know those articles he’s been writing about Alec and Magnus over the past 6 months? Well, he wrote another one today and completely… outed Alec and his relationship with Magnus.”

Alec winced as he waited for the backlash he knew he wouldn’t get. His team wasn’t like that. They’ve all been incredible to Magnus since he joined them—better than Alec even treated him in the first few months. He knew nothing negative would come from them. He even wondered why it’s taken him so long to tell them.

It only took a second for someone to scoff and Alec tensed up glancing their way slightly. “Guys, we’re so blind,” Lee said with a small chuckle.

“Oh, no,” Meliorn jumped in with a smile. “Minyard and I knew Alec’s gay, but we never connected the dots either. But if _your_ blind, what the hell are we then?”

“It all makes sense now why Lightwood never has a girlfriend,” another said.

That made Alec smile and he dropped his chin to his chest for a second time, but this time, his mood was better. When he looked up again, Magnus was walking his way. He was smiling too as he came to sit next to him on the bench. He was already showered and dressed into his suit. Alec didn’t even see him change out earlier.

Alec automatically dropped his head to Magnus’ shoulder and closed his eyes for a second, resting in the calmness that rolled off his boyfriend. “Do you want me to come with you to the interview?”

Groaning, Alec squeezed his eyes before blinking them open, hand coming up to rub the exhaustion of the day from his eyes. He forgot he still had to go. “No. I’ll be okay.”

“Look at them! Such a couple!”

Scoffing, Alec glared at his teammates, fire missing from his eyes. “And it begins,” Magnus mumbled under his breath before speaking louder. “Take it in, you lonely bastards,” he hollered across the locker room before turning to Alec again. “You sure? I’m almost positive that Jonathan wouldn’t care if I replaced Raph.”

Finally picking his head of Magnus’ shoulder, Alec turned to him and smiled lightly. “I’m sure. I don’t need my _boyfriend_ to defend me,” he replied playfully.

Magnus grinned. “Are you sure? Your boyfriend would _happily_ defend you.”

“Gross!” someone joked.

“Shut up!” Jace shouted back. “Let love live!”

“Oh my God,” Alec groaned with a smile. It felt _good_. Don’t get him wrong, he was completely pissed off at Jonathan for outing him, but it was like the band aid was ripped off and the healing process was beginning. He was that open wound that could finally breathe.

There was only one more hump he needed to cross, but that came later.

[][][][][]

The first step is always denial and then sadness. It was only a natural progression that anger came next.

When he marched into the interview room with Raphael fast on his heels, everyone in the room had their eyes on them—on Alec.

Alec had absolutely no intention on sticking around for this interview. He was going to say his peace and march back out because he did not owe Jonathan—this _thing_ —anything more than what he’s already taken from him. And if the cameras decided they wanted to film this, then so be it.

Jonathan didn’t see him coming. Maybe he thought Alec wasn’t going to speak his mind like the other times when he wrote an article, but this man struck a giant nerve today. He reached a point on Alec’s meter that _screamed_ for retaliation. And that was _exactly_ what he was going to get.

Alec wasn’t going to touch him because he didn’t want a potential assault lawsuit on his hands, but he did knock the microphone out of Jonathan’s hands and stare him down. His dark, hazel eyes bore into Jonathan’s green ones. In his calmest, angry voice, Alec said, “How fucking _dare_ you. Do you think my life is some kind of game to you? That my personal relationships are there for you to exploit without me or my partners consent?” He didn’t pause for a reply. “You’ve pushed me for _months_ into a back corner and guess what? It’s my turn. If I ever see your face again—if I ever _see_ that my name or Magnus’ name is in one of your petty, attention-seeking articles again—I will fuck you up. Our three names will never be used in the same article _ever_.”

Jonathan cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow. “Is that a _threat_?”

“You can count on it,” replied Alec. He ran his eyes down to the card the journalist had in his hand. “You and those questions you have on that sheet in your hand can go fuck yourselves.” He took a step back towards the door. Before turning, he pointed a finger towards Jonathan and said, “Remember my promise.”

He pushed the door open and heard the man call out to the room, “Did anyone record that?” He heard a chorus of “No” follow. The door slammed shut as a smirk formed on Alec’s face.

[][][][][]

“That was quick,” Magnus said to him when he pushed the double doors open to the locker room. “That was _too_ quick. What happened?”

The grin was still on Alec’s face as he finally pulled off his jersey, hanging it on its hanger for the last time this season. “He won’t be bothering us anymore.”

Magnus tilted his head confused, but he smiled. “What did you do, Alexander?” He poked Alec in his side, but his finger pushed against the padding of his gear.

Undoing the straps on his upper body gear, Alec pulled it over his head. “I gave him a piece of my mind finally. He’s not going to write about us anymore; _ever_. He’s not going to even be in our line of sight anymore.”

Chuckling, Magnus leaned against Jace’s locker and crossed his arms over his chest pleased. “Look at you! I’m proud of you for sticking up for yourself—for us.”

“It’s gone on too long as it is,” Alec said with a shake of his head.

Jace had just gotten back to his locker as the double doors opened again revealing Raphael. “Holy shit, Lightwood, you’ve got fucking balls on you. I can’t believe you just butchered that guy to pieces.”

Everyone’s head perked up at this. Maybe because of what he said, but also maybe because Santiago cursed, which never happened in the 5 years Alec knew him.

Alec tried to stop himself from grinning, but he was failing. He honestly felt like he was on top the world, something he never thought he would feel—unless the Islanders won the Stanley Cup. That was a whole different story. He hoped this new feeling wouldn’t go away. It was too addicting. “I do take pride in my balls, Santiago,” he replied with a chuckle.

With raised eyebrows and a smirk, Magnus whipped his head to Alec and looked him over with his eyes. “Two things: You didn’t tell me you _slayed_ Jonathan’s life. Second,” he paused for emphasis, “I take pride in your balls too.”

“Gross, Bane!”

“You can handle it,” he sang back.

“Seriously, Magnus,” Raphael said again. Alec thought he almost sounded excited which never happened with the Islanders goalie. “Alec slapped that microphone out of his hand and told him to fuck off. Jonathan barely got a word in before Alec was out of the room. I feel blessed to have witnessed it. He defended you both so beautifully.”

Almost shyly, Magnus tilted his head. “That’s nice to hear. Thank you, Alexander.”

Alec bended over at the waist, bowing to his boyfriend. “I am at your service, Master.”

This time Alec saw Minyard shout, “Keep that in the bedroom!”

God, Alec was so ready to rub his relationship with Magnus in their teammates face’s. And honestly, he kind of deserved it for putting up with their hetero shit for this long. “Maybe, maybe not.”

“But seriously, Lightwood, that was cool to witness,” Raphael said in earnest. “I want you both to know that I support you both. If you need anyone to help you stick it to the main man, I got your backs. Just like I do on the ice, though, that’s quite literally,” he said with a crooked smile.

A chorus of “Me too!” rang around the locker room and Alec felt his heart burst. 

Someone was on his back in an instant. “Holy shit!” Simon yelled into his hear. Alec had to pull himself out of Simon’s grasp to rub his ear. “Raphael Santiago just made a joke! It might just be the best worst day ever! Tell me another one!” he said, yanking on Santiago’s arm. He wasn’t feeling it and tried to pull away, backing away from Alec and Magnus.

Then it was just them two again. Alec didn’t bother showering even though he needed to. He would do that later. He needed to know where his family was. He reached for his phone in the zippered compartment of his bag. As he was pulling it out, his fingers brushed against fabric and he pulled his hand away to see.

His rainbow bracelet.

He looked at it inside his bag for a moment before reaching in to take it into his hand. The braided string was smooth against his skin from never being worn. He cupped it in his hand like it was fragile and would break at the slightest bump or shake.

He didn’t know what suddenly came over him, but he felt the tears well in his eyes before they fell. Alec didn’t realize how important these six colors were to him. They defined who he was. He could never escape them, and he realized that now. He tried to push a very important part of him away, but no matter how hard or how long he tried, he failed. And he was so _fucking happy_ that he did. Because this was him. He was gay and nothing would ever change that. Not himself, not Jonathan, and not his parents. He knew that now.

After wiping his eyes on the clean arm of his shirt, Alec turned to Magnus, hand with the bracelet extended out. Magnus searched his eyes intently instead of looking down at the bracelet. Alec, however, was looking down and placed the bracelet on top of Magnus’ hand. “Can you tie it on me?” he whispered. 

Without saying anything, Magnus took hold of it and wrapped the rainbow-colored string around Alec’s right wrist, double knotting it. It took Alec a second to process it. He flipped his wrist around to see the bright colors gleaming back at him. He rotated his wrist more and inspected it from every angle he could. It seemed…unreal, almost.

“You know, this is the first time since I bought it four years ago that I’m wearing it?”

Magnus’ reply was just as soft spoken. “And how does it feel?”

Jeez. Alec didn’t even know. His heart was a whirlwind of emotions right now. “Good. Really, really good. I feel…” He paused to chuckle at himself. “This probably sounds stupid, but I feel complete. Like, I’m _supposed_ to be wearing this. Because I am. Because it represents me.” Alec could tell by the smile on his face and the gloss over his eyes that Magnus was proud of him. That meant the world to him. “And I’m going to wear this bracelet until it’s ratty and old and hanging onto its life with only one thread,” he said through a smile.

It didn’t take long before Magnus’ arms were around him, drawing him into a hug. “I am _so_ proud of you. I don’t know how many times I can say it.”

Alec knew he wasn’t lying. It was an overwhelming feeling to know that. It’s one thing to hear it, but something completely different to _know_ it. “I don’t mind hearing it.”

When Alec looked around the room again, more than half their teammates were gone. He took this time to look around for the last time of the season. If the club owners don’t trade him after this, he couldn’t wait to be back this September. Nothing would hold him back.

“Have you heard from your parents?”

Sighing, Alec picked his phone up from his side to turn it back on. “Let’s see.” The second his iPhone kicked on, messages flew in. He saw a few _Good luck_! texts from his siblings and one from Catarina. They texted a couple times since meeting. There were also what seemed like paragraphs from Lydia. He would have to read those tomorrow. Tonight, he had to deal with his family. None from his parents. Only one from Isabelle saying, _We’re gonna go to your apartment. We’ll be waiting xx_

Well shit. She didn’t give any indication of seeing the article. Maybe they hadn’t? He didn’t know if that made him feel better. It would be easier if they read it. Probably…

“Go home,” said Magnus with a nudge at his side. “I’ll take Jace home, okay? Think about what you want to say to them in the car alone.”

Glancing back at his boyfriend, Alec scrunched his eyebrows together. “Are you sure? We live out of the way for you. I can just—”

Reaching his arms out to rest on Alec’s arms, Magnus lowered his head. “Don’t worry about it. You don’t need to worry about him tonight. You need to worry about yourself. Believe me, he’ll understand.”

Taking a deep breath, Alec nodded. He really wasn’t sure he wanted to answer any of the questions Jace probably had right now. He had a lot to think about. “Thank you, Magnus.”

“Of course, darling. And if you ever need me, I’m only a couple floors above you."

Alec nodded and opened Izzy’s text. _Leaving soon_ , he replied. He stuffed his gear bag with his left-over clothes from the season and the picture of him and his siblings. He neatly hung his jersey and looked at it for a moment. His name was on the back and he couldn’t help but run a hand over the large 26.

“You’re not going anywhere, kid,” a strong voice came from behind him.

He turned around to see that his mind wasn’t playing tricks. The voice did match the body. “Coach. You think so?”

Garroway’s crossed arms over his chest dropped and they swung over his sides. “Are you kidding? Do you really think the general manager is that idiotic to let go such an incredible player like you just because you’re gay?” He scoffed. “No, not even Garth Snow is that stupid, Alec.”

Nodding dumbly, Alec swung his bag over his shoulder after Coach said he’d walk him out. He held up a finger at Coach signaling to give him a second before jogging over to Jace and Magnus. Quickly, he gave Jace a hug promising to talk later and pecked Magnus on the lips before making his way back to their coach.

“How are you so calm?” Alec asked once they started down the hallway. “You should be absolutely pissed at me. I ruined this game for us and the chance at the Cup.” Honestly, Alec hadn’t even thought about that much tonight. They were done for the season and it was because he was caught up in his own personal shit.

Coach glanced at him before back at the empty hallway. “I am pissed, but not solely at you. This is a team sport, Alec. There were 24 other people out there tonight who could’ve picked up your slack.”

That didn’t ease his insides, though. “I can’t believe there was even slack to pick up. I hate that I’ve let my personal life interfere.”

“I’m not saying that I disagree with you, but to be fair to yourself, Jonathan, a _hockey_ journalist, interfered with your personal life first. Speaking of, have you heard the good news yet?”

Searching his brain, Alec thought of what he could be talking about. But he had been so far into his own brain that there was no room for anything else. “The news about what?”

He saw the smile on Coach’s face. Confused, he kept his eyes on his coach until he looked his way. “Jonathan was fired directly after Santiago left the interview room and he didn’t put up much of a fight. Apparently, you had some choice words for him that made his lack of retaliation easy.”

Shock flooded Alec’s features. “Are you kidding? He’s gone?” A grin spread across his lips. He knows he threatened the man, but it was official now that he would never have to see him again.

Chuckling, Coach bumped his shoulder into Alec’s. “Oh, yeah,” he drawled. “The board realizes that he put you and Magnus in a compromising situation which they don’t want for any other player. Quite frankly, I think they got a little jealous that you were outed before they even knew. And while I don’t think you and Magnus being in a relationship will cause a big problem for the club owners, just know that they’re going to want to talk extensively with you both. For you both to stay, it’s going to be a demand that your relationship and personal matters will never come between your devotion to the game and this team.”

Waving his hands in front of himself, Alec shook his head. “That’s more than I could even ask for, Coach. I just want to stay here and play for the team I love. This is my _home_.”

Coach’s hand clapped him on the back. “I know, kid.” There was a pause before he took his hand away and continued. “Are you alright? With all that shit?”

Sighing, Alec’s brain raked through the high points—or low depending on how you looked at it—and ran a hand over his exhausted face. “I’ll let you know in the morning.”

“Better yet, text me when you get home to make sure I know you’re alright. I really wish Jace was riding with you.”

Alec shrugged. “I will. Normally he would. But I need a clear head to think about what to tell my parents. They don’t know _anything_ yet. Or, they didn’t know anything this morning.”

Humming, Coach shoved his hands in his suit pocket as they came up to the players exit door. They turned towards each other. “Sounds tough, but I know you got this.”

For the past 5 years, Coach had been one of the few constants in his life. Not only was he an amazing coach, but he was like a second father to Alec and someone that he really looked up to as a person. To hear that throughout these last few messy months Coach had stuck by him, it meant a lot. “Thank you.”

“Don’t forget to text me. And I’ll see you in the fall. Enjoy your break because I’m going to be pushing you maggots till you’re holding that Cup in your hands.”

Placing his hands on the door knob, he pushed it open with a grin. “I wouldn’t want it any other way, Coach.”

[][][][][]

The second he walked through his front door, he heard Jonathan’s voice, except it was a bit distorted like it was on the TV. “Can you elaborate on their relationship?”

Raphael’s judgement was clear in his voice. “I don’t feel comfortable talking about someone else’s relationship behind their back. It’s not professional nor our place to do that, don’t you think?” A small smile spread on his face as he turned to close the door. Alec would have to text him later, he thought as he stuffed his phone back into his pocket after texting Coach and Magnus.

Before he had a chance to lock the door and toss his keys onto the side table, he heard his mother call out his name, his stomach bubbling as he thought about everything he said in the car. It almost felt like he had just crammed a study session into his brain and he was walking into the exam now trying to remember everything he just read in his textbook. Even then, this wasn’t as easy.

“Yeah, it’s just me.”

He took a deep breath and walked into the open living space where his family was lounging on the couch watching the highlights from tonight’s game. He could see the Ducks celebrating, but he must’ve made a face because his dad reached for the remote and turned the TV off.

His mom was off the couch in seconds. “Oh, honey. Alec, are you okay?” Her arms wrapped around his frame, forcing his bag to drop off his shoulder.

Alec could take this one of two ways: admit to not being okay because of Jonathan and the fact that he knew his parents knew, or because of the game. He decided he was a chicken and took the latter route. With a shrug, he sighed into her arms. “Yeah. I didn’t play as best as I could tonight, so I guess we deserved it. Coach was right to bench me at the end,” he shrugged trying to play it cool.

His mother pulled away and gave him a pointed look. His throat tightened, and Alec could feel his eyes droop into a painful expression because they knew. _They knew they knew they knew_.

Sighing, Maryse let her hands slide down his arms, her eyes never leaving his. “You know what I mean,” she said softly.

“Son. Alec,” his dad started from where he stood in front of the couch, “I think you should come sit down. We all need to talk.”

Alec’s eyes tore from his mothers and whipped to his dad. His hands were in his pockets and he stood ridged, tall and sharp—just like how Alec always watched his dad meet his clients. It was rare when Robert stood this way around his kids; it made Alec feel extremely uneasy. His chest pounded, and he was pretty sure his ears had their own heartbeat. There was no way to be positive, though, because he was focused on trying to move his legs. They just wouldn’t move. Maybe because he was also forcing himself not to cry. _Just don’t do it_. _Not in front of them_.

“Alec?” his mother said from his side. She gave him a little shove and he took a step before tripping over his feet, stumbling to make himself not look more of a fool.

Gaining some composure to stand, he cleared his throat and felt his cheeks burn before walking to the three-seater couch next to his dad, sitting on the edge by the arm rest. His voice was nowhere to be found, so he didn’t try opening his mouth. All he could do was stare at the blank TV screen.

Maryse crossed in front of him opting for sitting on the coffee table in front of him. His eyes still couldn’t reach hers, however, but she tried anyway by reaching out her hands to grasp onto his. He could feel his hands shaking against hers, but he couldn’t look. His father took a step closer to him and sat with a sigh. God, Alec could feel his whole body tingling with anxiety, but there was no way to ease it. It would only get worse by the end of the night.

He heard his mom let out a sob first, then he whimpered because he had _done_ that to her. When she said his name softly, yet broken, he could feel the tears brimming the edges of his eyes. In that moment, he realized that no matter how long he waited to tell them, he would never be ready for their reply.

“Alec,” she said again, her hands tightening around his, “why didn’t you ever tell us that- that you’re gay?”

All he wanted was to be wrapped up in Magnus’ arms, lying in bed with the TV softly glowing in the background. All he wanted was for his family to love him wholly and not give a damn about who he wanted to take to bed at night. All he wanted was to feel _safe_ in his own skin.

Automatically, Alec’s head fell, his chin bumping his chest, a soft sob escaping. The tears in his eyes fell freely, staining his dark gray suit pants. A hand was suddenly on his back, rubbing soothing circles. But that had to be Izzy or Max. Definitely not his dad who spoke next.

“Alec, we never wanted you to feel scared to tell us anything about your life,” he said softly. “We always hoped that we made that clear. I guess not…”

His mom wrapped her arms around his upper body, pulling him against her chest. “My boy,” she said weakly, her hands rubbing his back, “I’m so sorry that this happened to you; that you were exposed so cruelly like this. We love you so much.”

Alec couldn’t help but jerk backwards out of her arms. His eyes were puffy, and his nose was red, but that didn’t wipe the broken-hearted look his mom gave him. His voice was barely audible, but he hoped they heard because he was definitely confused. “What?”

This made tears slip from Maryse’s eyes and she glanced to Robert with a whimper before looking back at their son. “Alec, we love you no matter what. We’ve known for years that you like guys. We were waiting for you to tell us yourself.”

 _What_?

No, he must be hearing wrong. So, he shook his head. But his mom nodded with a soft smile. His dad looked similarly.

But he couldn’t believe it. There was _no_ way that was true. He’s hid his secret for so long. He thought he did it well.

“Do you remember all those years ago when you left camp for the last time?” his dad asked him. Alec glanced his way curiously. Of course. Alec remembered hurting Magnus. “Well, the next couple school years you acted completely different.” Robert paused and took a deep breath, reangling himself on the couch. “Your mother and I couldn’t figure out what changed, but then you told us that winter you didn’t want to return to _that_ camp and you hadn’t spoken about a certain someone for months.”

The calmer voice of his mother continued. “Of course, we didn’t realize why your friendship with Magnus just vanished, but after watching you closely for a while, I realized that no one would be _this_ upset about losing or falling out of touch with just a friend.” She sighed and rubbed at her face with her hands and Alec watched closely at her facial expressions. “At first, we were… confused. I admit, we were short minded and didn’t fully accept that you were interested in boys, but after understanding that you were this unhappy about losing someone—whether you realized it or not at the time—we looked at it differently.

“We never said anything to you about dating or never bringing girls home. We never wanted to pressure you into a relationship you would never feel comfortable in. All we want is for you to be happy. We never mentioned to you that we knew because we wanted you to figure out who you were before we spoke.” With a soft sigh she added, “We just didn’t think it would take you this long to come to terms with it.”

Alec’s head was spinning by the time his dad asked, “Why didn’t you tell us earlier? It seems like you’ve come to terms with your sexuality a while ago,” he said with a nod of his head at Alec’s wrist. When he looked down, his bracelet was still tied around him.

God, Alec didn’t even know what to do. His head hurt and his heart was acting crazy, but his parents knew and they’re okay with him being gay. All this fucking time, they knew. He shook his head at himself and took a breath, rubbing his hands together. “I thought, after what you said about Magnus, that you would h-hate me.”

“Alec!” His mom’s voice was wobbly again. “You are our _son_. We will love you no matter _what_ you do, or _who_ you are. You’re you and we _love_ you. Don’t you dare ever think otherwise, you understand me?”

Fresh tears rimmed Alec’s eyes as he nodded. His jaw was shaking as he let out a new sob, finally allowing himself to fall into his mother’s arms, grasping onto the back of her shirt tightly.

A light hand was against his back again when he started to calm down. Robert said, “You should have seen your mother’s face when she found out Magnus was traded to the Islanders. She had always hoped that you would rekindle your friendship, or at least meet again so you could have closure.”

She laughed lightly as she thought back, and Alec pulled away to look at her smile. He was so happy to see her smile. “I was!” Her cheeks and eyes were red from crying, but she looked genuinely happy. “When I found out, I knew it would take a while for you both to talk again, but,” she glanced at her husband with a smile, “I had hoped that you would figure everything out by then. And you have. Alec I’m so proud of you.”

That’s truly the only thing he ever wants to hear his parents say to him again. It’s not that he’s been deprived of that as a child, not really, but it would prove to him that he’s not disappointing them. That they still love him. So, he said it back. “I love you.”

“We love you more,” his dad said as he pulled Alec into a hug. “At Christmas we had that conversation about you dating someone, do you remember?” When Alec nodded against him, he continued. “I hadn’t known for sure, but mom and I really thought it was Magnus. We had hoped. I’m so glad that it was.” It was strange because Alec could hear the smile in his voice. Everything was so _strange_. “Does he treat you well?”

With a sigh of relief, Alec finally smiled and nodded. “ _So_ well. I _really_ love him.” Then after a beat of silence he wanted to kick himself in the face because he thought he was all cried out. But there were the tears in his eyes again. He brought his hand up to his face, covering his mouth in disbelief. He mumbled through it, daring for the salty liquid to fall down his face. “I’ve been waiting so long to tell you that.”

“Oh, honey,” Maryse said as she rested her hand on top of his knee. “I’m so sorry that you felt like you couldn’t.”

Shaking his head, Alec wiped the last of his tears. “That doesn’t matter anymore. What _does_ matter is that the final piece has been set in place and I can finally feel free to be myself—be openly gay— without thinking something horrible will happen to me.” After a deep breath, he said, “I can finally love my boyfriend the way he deserves. The only way from here is up.”

After a beat of silence, Alec heard a new voice and his heart fluttered against his chest. “Funny enough, I think your boyfriend has always felt an overwhelming amount of love come from you.”

There was an overpowering sense of home and comfort that washed over Alec as he looked up to find Magnus standing on the edge of the living room by Isabelle. He was leaning against the wall casually with his arms crossed over his chest, eyes vigilant on Alec and his parents.

Alec shot to his feet, eyebrows raised. “Magnus! I thought you’d be home already?”

Scoffing, Magnus pushed off the wall and took a couple steps closer as Alec pushed past his parents. “Are you kidding? I think Jace tried to kick me out half a dozen times before he gave up and went to bed. Thank goodness Isabelle texted me because I didn’t want to wait in my car.” He reached out and placed his hands on Alec’s arms, sliding them up and down once they were in front of each other. “Darling, do you really think I’d leave without knowing if you were okay?”

This is why Alec loved him. It’s little things like needing to know he was okay, or making sure he ate dinner before bed— _“Alexander, are you sure? Do I need to drive over with a late-night snack?” “I promise I did, but if you need a reason to spend the night, be my guest to bring food too.”_ —even if that was just an excuse. Of course, the grand gesture of just _loving_ Alec meant everything to him, but knowing the reasoning's behind it was so much better.

It made Alec blush. He wondered if Magnus could tell through his tear-stained cheeks. In a low voice, he replied, “I promise I’m okay. In fact,” his voice grew louder as he turned his upper body to glance at his family, “I’m better than okay.”

Looking at the people in the room made Alec’s heart burst. The most important people in his life were finally all together again. His mother looked like her smile couldn’t get any bigger, Izzy looked like the definition of ‘heart eyes’, his father held a small, but comforting smile, his posture undeniably more relaxed then when the conversation started, and Max was lounging over his usual chair, but for once wasn’t on his phone or stuffing his face with food.

Clearing his throat, Alec looked back at his boyfriend, a giant smile on his shy face. With a deep breath, he asked with a tilt of his head towards his family, “Do you wanna…?”

Grinning back, Magnus nodded and looked over at the Lightwoods when Alec pulled him by the hand to his parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Thank you for reading!
> 
> I have a question for you. If I were to create FtLotG into a series, would you read little one-shots of Malec throughout their time together? I'm thinking the stories could range from when they were younger until they're grey and old! I would even take prompts if you all are really interested. 
> 
> See you for the epilogue!


	25. Chapter 25: The Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this is kind of sad. I can't believe the epilogue is finally upon us. 
> 
> Never in a million years did I think that this fic would have the fan base that it has, and I am so thankful to everyone who has read, will read, or who will continue the journey with me to the one-shot series (for more info see ending notes). 
> 
> Second, this story has meant to much to me over the last 9 months and I just want to thank [@Quite_Magical](https://twitter.com/Quite_Magical) for all of her help. Seriously, this fic would not be the way it is without her help with planning and constant love. 
> 
> If you loved FtLotG as much as I did, don't forget to join me for the one-shot series called, "A Shot or Two: FtLotG Style".

Alec pushed open door 203 and heard it creek before banging into the wall. “They never fixed the squeaking, did they?” Magnus joked behind him.

Grinning, Alec wheeled his suitcase into their room for the summer. “I guess not.”

“I just hope they changed those nasty duvets. I remember the first time I saw them, I thought my grandmother probably hung them over her windows.”

Taking a few more steps in, Alec stopped and looked at the two twin beds. “Lucky for you, they’re changed! Then again, we _are_ in the coach’s dorm and not the students one. They could still be the same.”

It was so surreal to be back at their childhood summer camp. When Magnus suggested to him last month that they go back to be assistant coaches, he had almost wanted to say no because it brought back the painful memory of what he had done to Magnus. But then he had thought of all the wonderful times they had over the six summers they spent here together. Since he was outted a month and a half ago, Magnus had been teaching him to live for the positive moments in life, not the bad. It was a wonderful lesson to finally learn.

Magnus tossed his bag on the bed furthest from the door just like when they were younger. “First order of business, we need to push these beds together. I will _not_ sleep in different beds for the next month and a half.”

“Or we could just ask for a room with a queen-sized bed?”

Shaking his head, Magnus got up to pull the bedside table between the beds away from the wall. “It’s more fun this way,” he said. “It makes me feel like we’re kids again.” Alec thought back to their last summer together when they had done exactly this for the last couple weeks of camp. The first night, they had both wondered why they hadn’t done it sooner. With a pleasant shake of his head, Alec moved to help pick up the small, yet heavy, pinewood table.

Pushing the beds together was easy, but Alec collapsed, eyes closed, on the big, soft bed nonetheless. It wasn’t until there was a shift in the bed and a dark spot hovering over his closed eyelids where the light shining through the dusty window was just a second ago that he opened his eyes again. Magnus’ bright, glowing face was smiling down at him, his unmolded, dark hair, falling around his face. “Hi,” he said softly.

Alec’s heart pumped faster as his eyes scanned over his boyfriend’s face. He allowed himself to smile back, his eyes shining, and he was sure Magnus could feel the intensity of love flowing out of them, because he sure could. Sometimes it was still hard to believe that everything he ever wanted was his. “Hi,” he whispered back.

Magnus’ wet tongue darted out to slide along his dry lips and Alec tracked its movement as Magnus lowered his head, inches from Alec’s. With a slight tilt and stretch of his neck, Alec’s lips met Magnus’ in a slow, reassuring kiss with a low moan. “We need to do something,” Magnus breathed over his lips.

Nodding a little, Alec’s lips chased his boyfriend’s as his hands swooped to Magnus’ shirt, tugging on it. “Like sex,” he mumbled back just before his lips pecked Magnus’.

With a little chuckle, Magnus pulled away, the edges of his eyes crinkling because of his smile. Alec huffed as his head hit the pillow again. “No—I mean, yes! I’m always up for sex with you, but we have only a day before the kids arrive.” His palms dug into the bed around Alec’s sides and his knees moved around his hips, straddling him. When Alec felt his slight bulge tap against Magnus’, he huffed again, wanting to cross his arms over his chest like a child. “Come on,” Magnus egged on with a small smile as he pushed his hand gently against Alec’s chest. “We can have sex whenever we want, lets just enjoy the nicer weather today without dozens of kids hanging on our arms. Maybe we can walk down to the lake?”

Because he was never able to deny his boyfriend anything he wanted, Alec cut his losses and willed his awake dick to go down a size or two. “Of course, babe.”

In all honestly, Alec was excited to be back on campus to look around and see what changed. The thought of being able to teach young kids the art of hockey was such a trilling concept that he was more than ready to take on. It wasn’t just tips and techniques Alec wanted to coach on, but also etiquette and different ideas. He wanted to show these kids that being who you are is okay and acceptable. For the first time in his life, he’d be able to do that with the person he loves most by his side.

Shaking him from his thoughts, Magnus was off him in an instant. “What should we do?” he asked as if he were a kid finding out that his parents bought him a whole bag of candy. A smile suited Magnus.

Turns out, Magnus wanted to strip naked and jump into the freezing lake that was barely hidden by a couple trees. Anyone looking over could see them. Alec instantly wondered how they had gotten away with skinny dipping that one time all those years ago. “You’re insane!” Alec hollered at his boyfriend as Magnus popped his head out of the water, wiping the water from his eyes.

“But you still love me,” Magnus replied, arms wrapped around his chilled upper body.

Sitting onto the cold grass on the edge of the lake, Alec watched Magnus move from side to side. “I do. How’s it feel? Got blue balls yet?” he joked, but after a second, he realized that it’s probably true. He didn’t have to feel the dirty water to know how cold it must be.

With his arms wrapped over his shoulders, and mouth shivering form the cold, Magnus tried to shrug it off. “They’re pretty blue. C-Could use some warming.”

With a roll of his eyes, Alec tapped the pile of chilled clothes laying next to him. “Come out and get warm.”

“Be one of those polar bears with me,” Magnus said as he splashed the grass just in front of Alec with his hand. “You know, those people who jump in the ocean in the middle of winter? Instead, it’s the beginning of summer and the water temperature is about 45, maybe 50 degrees Fahrenheit.”

Alec was already shaking his head. “There’s _no_ way I’m getting in that water.”

Swimming from side to side, Magnus looked up with rounded eyes and his bottom lip hanging out. “But we can be polar bears together,” he said almost sadly.

Alec knew Magnus was trying to guilt him, and it was working. They’d probably get sick for the rest of the summer if they stayed in too long, but Alec stood anyway and pulled his jacket off. “You and your damn polar bears,” he mumbled before pointing a finger at his boyfriend. “If some organism inches its way inside me through _any_ exposed hole, I will seriously hurt you.”

Magnus, after laughing, started pounding a fist onto the top of the murky water chanting Alec’s name as he pulled his clothes off. As Alec started to slip his boxers down with a glance behind him at the dilapidated buildings, Magnus wolf whistled, and Alec rolled his eyes with a small smile. “If I had a rag right now,” Magnus started, “I would circle it in the air and yell, ‘Take it off!’ like a drunk girl at a strip club.”

Barking out a laugh, Alec stepped out of this pile of clothes, the only inch of fabric still on him was his rainbow bracelet, and inched closer to the water dipping a toe in. “It’s so cold,” he whined.

“You just have to jump right in. I’ll save you if you drown, don’t worry.”

After eyeing his boyfriend, Alec took a deep breath and jumped in, the freezing cold water enveloping him within its icy embrace. Alec felt his body energize at the shock as he swam up to breathe.

“Holy mother of hell!” he grunted as he wiped the water out of his face, making sure to pull off the giant leaf from his head. With the sun shining in his face, he squinted as he glared at Magnus, his heart thumping from the cold shock. “Why do you want my dick to fall off? I thought you loved me. Seriously,” Alec continued as he reached a hand down to touch himself, “it has never been this shriveled up before.”

Moving his arms in a circular motion, Magnus frogy-swam towards Alec, trying to hold back a wicked grin. When his icy, pale hands touched Alec’s arms, Alec shivered again. “Poor thing. I’ll need to warm up Little Alec later, wont I?”

Nodding with a pout, Alec reached out as Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec’s icy frame, circling his legs around his boyfriends’ waist. Birds chirped in the background, and Alec wished he had feathers like they did to keep warm.

When Magnus continued talking, all Alec could do was hold them both up a listen. “We’ll get in our comfiest pajamas, you’ll bring down your ratted, old Islanders blanket—What? Don’t give me that look, I saw you stuff it in your bag—and I’ll bring my blanket and pillows and we’ll find a good film to watch on the TV in the lounge. Of course, all that is after we take our scolding hot shower—and I don’t mean it will be scolding hot because of the water temperature. How does that sound?”

A light wind rustled around them, even with the sun shining and goose bumps formed on Alec’s face and shoulders. “The idea of sex, a warm shower, or a movie? Because all of it sounds perfect to me.”

Feeling Magnus relax in his arms, Alec leaned in and rested his forehead against his boyfriends. “I thought it would.” A second passed before Alec jumped back, startled by Magnus’ loud voice in his ears. “Oh my goodness, Alexander, what if after all these years our initials are still carved into the wall behind your old bed? Remember when we did that?”

Thinking back, Alec smiled. He remembered grinding his house key from New York into the light brown-painted, sheetrock wall behind his bed. Their initials were a little crooked, but Magnus was so excited that they would be remembered forever and kissed him right on the mouth after.

“Maybe! W-We’ll have to go see—but tomorrow. Right now, I need to get out of this water.”

Magnus hummed next to him as they waddled towards the edge of the lake near their clothes. “Push me up, Alexander.”

After pushing Magnus onto the grass—yes, there was some beautiful ass in Alec’s face for a few seconds—Magnus helped him up. Careful not to touch their dry clothes yet, they laid on the grass next to each other, Magnus groaning at the slight wind that blew against their wet, cold bodies.

“If my dick falls off from hypothermia, would you still love me?” Magnus asked skeptically.

Alec hummed and let his head fall to the right towards Magnus. “As long as you still love me if mine falls off too.”

Chuckling lowly, Magnus followed it with a sigh and a calming minute passed. Alec thought about how he should probably pull his clothes on to try and get warmer, but he didn’t have the energy to move. He hoped the sun shining down on them could give him a little boost before one of the other coaches or staff noticed them through their dorm windows.

“You know,” Magnus started, breaking the silence, “cats are very self-efficient. We could leave him for a week and he’d still be alive when we get back. Someone—maybe Isabelle—could check on him every couple of days to make sure he hasn’t overfed himself into a mental breakdown. She could send us pictures and we’d totally be _that_ couple that comes home from a few days on the road to their bitchy cat but silently still loves him. I’m juggling the names Sir Fluffs a Lot and Chairman Meow.”

A second passed and Alec said, “We are _not_ naming our cat Sir Fluffs a Lot, babe.”

A small laugh was singing into Alec’s right ear. “Okay, no Sir Fluffs a Lot. Chairman Meow it is.” Alec looked back at his boyfriend because he could feel the brown orbs studying his face. Magnus was a bit paler than normal and Alec knew they needed to put clothes on, but he found himself smiling lightly instead. “So, you agree that we should get a cat?”

Honestly, cats were better than dogs in Alec’s opinion. It was a blessing that Magnus hadn’t asked for a dog, because he wasn’t sure if he could juggle _every single night_ with— Something dawned on him. “Only if that means we both have him 100% of the time.”

The first sign of Magnus moving caught Alec’s attention. He had raised himself onto his left elbow to look down on Alec better, confused.

Looking up, Alec’s smile grew slightly wider. “I’m not doing joint custody for a cat, Mags. He stays in one home, or not at all.”

Alec saw the second the realization hit his boyfriend. Magnus’ eyes widened, searching Alec’s eyes for any sign of misunderstanding. But he wouldn’t find it. Letting out a soft breath, Magnus finally grinned. “Alexander, are you saying you want to live together?” Alec thought about this a lot. Not the cat thing, but the living together thing. They had only officially been dating for 7 and a half months, but their relationship wasn’t limited to that short amount of time. They’ve known each other most of their lives and if they didn’t take into account their friendship before they both played for the Islanders, they would not be who they are. So, yeah, Alec thought about living together for about a month now. They were practically sharing a bed every night anyway.

“What do you say?” Even though they had history together, that doesn’t mean Magnus would say yes and Alec couldn’t get rid of his anxiety in only a month and a half.

Sitting up now on his knees, Magnus reached over to pull on Alec’s arm until he was sitting up too. Alec almost wanted to pull his arm away just because Magnus’ fingers wrapped around his arm was too old. But he was worried about the question. But he supposed the shit-eating grin on his boyfriend’s face was a good sign. “I say, my 1-year lease is up in a couple months and I’m not resigning.”

[][][][][]

With their clothes finally back on, shoulders and arms touching to try and keep warm, they waddled back to their room, their clothes sticking to their still-wet bodies. It was noon now and the sun was shining its fullest for the day and Alec prayed that it dried their clothes instantaneously.

“You know our younger, accepting fans gave us a ship name?” Magnus asked as they shuffled their feet along the grass, making their way towards the path that lead to their dorm.

Raising an eyebrow, Alec glanced to his left. “A _what_ name?”

Magnus rolled his eyes playfully as their shoulders bumped again. “A _ship_ name. Like relation-ship. Like Brangelina. But instead, we’re Malec.” Magnus pointed to himself. “Ma—” Magnus pointed to his boyfriend, “—lec. Malec!”

A sudden warmth fluttered in Alec’s chest, traveling slowly towards other parts of his body. Laughing, before having to stop to save his energy, Alec said, “I don’t even know how to reply to that.”

“Are you kidding?” Magnus pulled on his wet shirt to yank him closer, and Alec felt the cold wind slip through the small, cotton holes on the shirt, assaulting his wet body. “Malec is incredible! We can totally put it on our front door! Instead of being that couple that has that ugly-ass, fake ‘Welcome’ mat, we can put a sign outside the door saying, ‘Benvenuti alla casa di Malec.’ For some reason, it feels more inviting if the language is Latin-based,” Magnus said with a wave of his hand and a shrug.

“In Italian?”

Magnus shrugged again as they continued walking. “Eh, I studied it in college.”

With a scoff, Alec whipped off his wet shirt. No point in keeping it on if it wasn’t doing its job anymore. “No one would understand,” he argued.

Groaning, Magnus pouted. “Fine. We can put the English translation under in tiny words—and I do mean tiny, Alexander,” he said with a pointed finger at his boyfriend’s face. “I don’t want it ruining my aesthetic.”

“Your wish is my command, Master,” he laughed with a bow like a servant.

He still couldn’t believe he was allowed to love this wonderful man every single second of his life. He may have missed out on many years, but there was _no_ way that was ever happening again. He could see himself years from now still being 1000% in love with Magnus, and Alec intended on that happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH!! 
> 
> I'm not going to lie, I cried a lot while writing this ending because all of my feelings when I first started this fic came flooding back. It's so incredible that you all wanted me to continue this fic. It mean's a lot.
> 
> ONE-SHOTS! I've posted the first one-shot just before the epilogue! If you want to check it out, click here: [A Shot or Two: FtLotG Style](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14263539)! Subscribe or whatever you'd like! I figured I'd get the link out to you all just in case. 
> 
> See you on the flip side, and thank you all, again.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this chapter! Drop me a comment if you enjoyed :) I'll be sure to reply!
> 
> Come yell at me on Twitter: @malecsdaddari0


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